Jamie Dornan quitting FSOG?

I doubt that he’s actually pulling out.

First, the sequels haven’t been officially confirmed. Second, he’s probably contractually bound to do them and he would have a hard time backing out on his own. Third, the studio and his reps have yet to even suggest this is happening. Fourth, the reason being given—that his wife wants him out because of what Christian does—MAKES NO SENSE.

The “plots” of the books haven’t changed since he signed on. Jamie has been playing the part of Paul Spector in The Fall; Paul is a serial rapist and serial killer. AFAIK: she hasn’t demanded that he quit the series. It seems like she would have wanted him out of that if she was really against his playing a man who is violent toward women. And Amelia is an actress and had a small role in the movie Quills, a fictionalization of the life and proclivities of Marquis de Sade, whose name is where the terms sadism and sadomasochism come from. So this whole thing makes no sense.

What it seems like is a way to create a lot of drama and a way to make people feel okay with harassing & hating Amelia.

via Tumblr

Cries and Lies

One thing that therapists typically say about group therapy is that you don’t have to share if you don’t want to or if you don’t feel like sharing. If you don’t feel comfortable saying what’s going on, you don’t have to say anything. I don’t usually share much in my group with Debbie1 I am uncomfortable around many of the group members. There are at least two people who have abused family members (spouses/children). There are others who have this tendency to take over the group and make it all about them. I dislike the ones who take over the group, but I am afraid of the abusers.2 So I keep my mouth closed around the abusers from fear and typically zone out as much as possible on narcissist days.

Today the group consisted of four people; two were discomforting members. One was the urine-soaked shoe neckbeard3 dude that makes. Another is a man who had a restraining order filed against him by his ex-wife and is no longer allowed around his kids. Both opened the meeting with their complaints, then it was my turn and then another extremely shy member’s turn. I said I was okay, as did the other shy person. Neckbeard took that to mean that we had no real problems and sort of taunted us. I partly wanted to say, “fuck off. You don’t have any clue what I feel or go through.” I didn’t say it because talking to him would make it worse. I didn’t say anything.

I sat there.

And I started to sob.

Slowly and quietly at first, but it eventually turned into an ugly cry-fest.4 My issues started feeling like they were getting worse every second. I kept thinking about various stressors. I kept feelings every negative emotion or thought the therapist described of this article written by a woman with depression.

The therapist had to stop to ask if I was okay. I told her I was and managed to get my crying under control. Eventually I even participated in the coping skill portion of the session. But I never shared what bothered me.

At the end of group, neckbeard said he hoped I felt better. I guess he felt guilty over what he said. I thanked him. But I don’t plan on opening up to him because he still makes me uncomfortable.

I just go while I wait for the PTSD group to start back. I want my Debbie visits to be individual sessions, but until I have another steady way to be around other people, I don’t think it’d be healthy for me to not be in a group. It doesn’t feel healthy to be uncomfortable or scared every session, though. Therapy should never feel this stressful. And my crying is probably keeping the other group members (including the scary and annoying ones) from being as open with their issues.5


  1. Debbie is the only real name you’re getting from today’s session–other than mine. 

  2. This is also the group where two members wanted to confront & attempt to provoke the abuser of another member right before the group session started. 

  3. he has one 

  4. Snot and all. 

  5. I’ve been told that my quietness makes some of the members more anxious. 

IDGI: Christina Hoff Sommers Fans

Anyone who likes Christina Hoff Sommers should probably leave this blog.

I see people talking about her debunking of the wage gap and her “equity feminism” beliefs without mentioning that she isn’t exactly the best source of what is good/bad economics- and equality-wise. Why? Well, her current job, for one. (Her previous job of ethics professor doesn’t really mesh with it.)

Christina Hoff Sommers works for The American Enterprise Institute (AEI), which is a “think tank” for rich white people who don’t like to think. On AEI’s Board of Trustees, there is the totally equal ratio of 24:1 (men to women). That sure sounds like equity has already been achieved there. AEI’s interests aren’t in actual equality, but in fighting America’s “culture war” and reforming education, affirmative action, and welfare. They have also been advancing their causes of making sure all voters have photo ID (potential poll tax), doubting the reality that is climate change, opposing regulation of the financial system, opposing increases in minimum wage, and defending big tobacco. “Scholars” of AEI have written articles in favor of government censorship of art.

I can almost hear the goose stepping now. When he was in office, George W. Bush appointed over a dozen people from AEI to senior positions within his administration and they helped promote his war machine. Reportedly, they offered money to scientists who would dispute a climate change study. They’re big on the whole “anti-lobbying” thing and I’m guessing that that’s because you don’t need to lobby when you’ve already got people in positions of influence within the actual government. Once upon a time, Kenneth Lay (of Enron fame) and Dick Cheney were on the board of trustees; Dinesh D’Souza is a fellow there. And its current incarnation has ties to both ALEC and the Koch brothers. AEI’s affiliate, Charles Murray, published The Bell Curve in the 1990s; it established IQ was a determinant of socio-economic status.

But that’s not the only issue.

  Continue reading IDGI: Christina Hoff Sommers Fans

LiveJournal QOTD #4248: Vaccinations

LiveJournal Question of the Day #4248: Vaccinations

What are your thoughts on vaccinations? Do you personally believe they play any role in the development of autism or other chronic diseases? What diseases would you like to see a vaccine manufactured against over your lifetime?

Vaccinations are necessary to prevent epidemics and to prevent deadly & debilitating infections. It is the responsibility of all who are able to take them. This provides a herd immunity, which covers those who are unable to take them and those whose immune systems cannot handle the illnesses.

They play absolutely no role in autism. This has been proven with study after study. It has also been discredited as a theory because of Wakefield’s well-known fraud. Most other chronic illnesses that are “linked” to vaccines are not actually from the vaccines. They are actually coincidental. Researchers and vaccine manufacturers to have a responsibility, though, to make sure that vaccines are always healthy.

The first future vaccine that pops into my mind in the HIV vaccine, which is already being worked on. Other important ones could include Malaria, Ebola, Chagas disease, dengue fever, parasitical infections, and other diseases that endanger over a billion lives in various parts of the world.

Review: The Man Without a Face: The Unlikely Rise of Vladimir Putin

The Man Without a Face: The Unlikely Rise of Vladimir Putin
The Man Without a Face: The Unlikely Rise of Vladimir Putin by Masha Gessen
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book was the kind of book that I didn’t want to put down, but also couldn’t read much of at one time. There was just a lot of information that I needed time to be process. There was a lot of talk of vile things like torture, war, murder, etc., which was uncomfortable to read unless I took breaks between sections of the story.

Another slight issue is that the book was dry, but I wasn’t reading it because I wanted to read a good story. I was reading it for the information and insight that it could provide. The information was so intriguing that I didn’t want to stop reading it. Before reading the book, I knew that this man was one who has encouraged homophobia, sexism, and who was linked to some very suspicious deaths of political dissidents. The story painted in the book showed that my personal description of him was way too nice. One could argue that everything was conjecture and speculation, but I can’t. There were so many well-known victims of this man’s corruption who were mentioned and whose stories were told in even more depth than I’d seen before. It helped to give this book more credence in my perspective.

Several people have said that it is a biased account, which is obvious without their stating it. She lived under someone who can easily be classified as an authoritarian or a tyrant. That would lead one to develop certain opinions of that political leader. And when the leader is notoriously private about his life and is a real “lives in the shadows” personality, it is hard to present the full picture of this man. Gessen did the best that she could with the information that she was available to accumulate. The whole idea of him being “a man without a face” comes from his extremely secretive nature and ability to be whatever the situation requires him to be–so long as it doesn’t conflict with his own personal interests.

I think this is definitely a very informative book and that people who are interested in Putin, Russia, and the more recent history of the country will enjoy the book. Other people probably should look for something a little less intense.

View all my reviews

Fifty Shades of Tame

I saw Fifty Shades of Grey today and…

  • The movie is better than the book. That was the consensus of everyone who talked about it as they left the auditorium.
  • The movie doesn’t include most of the abusive behavior. Anything abusive that was left in was not as bad as it was in the book.
  • Ana actually comes off as less of a “doormat” and Christian isn’t as horrifyingly creepy as he was in the book. He actually comes off as almost sympathetic, which could be worse in some ways because it might lull some people into thinking that his behavior is acceptable. 
  • The movie highlights how poorly written the books were. Like the books, there’s no real plot. There’s no real way to gauge the time. It ends in what should have been before or during the climax of the story, but that’s a problem with the books. 
  • Though Christian mentions his mom’s drug use (and her preference) and being a prostitute, there was no calling her a crack whore. (His doing that in the books always made me cringe.)
  • I don’t know why they couldn’t hire total nobodies for roles like Mia and Grace. They barely had any lines at all. Also, Max Martini’s main job in the film as Jason Taylor is to stand behind Jamie/Christian and take objects from his hands. It felt like they were using him as an extra.
  • There was one scene where you could infer that oral sex was supposed to be happening. And it was actually a Christian going down on Ana one, which is still oddly taboo in American cinema. But it was the only oral scene. It was also the only real foreplay scene of any kind, which is a little cringe-worthy because there would be a whole lot of chafing.
  • And there were a lot of shots of Dakota’s magically always-erect nipples and Jamie’s very lovely butt. 
  • Oh, if you don’t want to see the movie yourself, for whatever reason, I would still recommend getting the soundtrack. It’s pretty damn awesome.

via Tumblr

Fat Ass Perspective

In a little while, I’ll finally be going to the appointment with the orthopedist for my knee. It wasn’t scheduled until yesterday because Dottie “was out”. For three weeks. Again.1

Anyway, I was just connecting my online health record with the family medicine and OB/GYN office.2 I got a chance to look at the levels. I still don’t see why the doctor was so quick to want to put me on meds for high cholesterol and diabetes now. Actually, I’m even more flummoxed by her rushing the idea.

In 2013:

Cholesterol: 219
Triglycerides: 204
HDLc: 36
VLDL: 41
LDLc: 142
Hemoglobin A1C: 5.7
Glucose, serum: 94

In 2014:

Cholesterol: 204
Triglycerides: 155
HDLc: 37
VLDL: 31
LDLc: 136
Hemoglobin A1C: 5.6
Glucose, serum: 95

While the numbers are still too high for total cholesterol, triglycerides, and LDLc and too low for HDLc, most of the levels, except for the HDLc and glucose,3 have improved. In fact, the VLDL is now in the normal range. The Triglyceride had a significant drop and is very close to being normal, too. I still have work to do for the rest, but I’m getting there on my own/without medicine.

If she had simply compared the levels, she could have seen that. Of course, she was on her “anti-fat” kick and decided to go with the “medicate! medicate! medicate!” way of thinking. But that way of thinking isn’t always the best. And when you have a patient who is not only improving without the medicine, but whose family has a history of bad reactions to both diabetes and cholesterol medicines, then the medication option isn’t always that great of an option. If those things weren’t true, then medicine might be a great thing to advise for me to try, but it’s just not the time to suggest them right now. As for how much my weight has changed from 2013 to now, I am absolutely certain that my doctor was wrong to get upset at a little stalling the weight loss.

Oh, well. It’s almost time to go and I need to make sure my jeans will work for the examination.


  1. Yeah right. And I’m the Wicked Witch and have a bunch of creepy little monkey dudes. 

  2. UAB offers the service for free. 

  3. And the glucose level would change daily.