I’m trying to be a more positive person, but I figured I would give myself a chance to respond to such a kind and sweet comment.
First, I would like to thank you for your lovely comment. I’m sure that the email that you provided is fake, which is why I’m not sending this via email. I appreciate your ability to respect a fellow human being, especially when said human being admits something that isn’t particularly fun to admit. Way to go on your magnificent display of humanity. You’re a real class act.
It amazes me that you took some time out of your busy day in the Burton-upon-Trent/Derby area. It looks like it’s probably a lovely area. Maybe you should spend more time enjoying it and less time sharing your lovely personality with me.
Maybe it’s been a while since you got some, but you seem to have a lot of pent up energy. Maybe you should do something about that? There are these things called sex toys and they might work wonders for whatever rage causes you to leave a hateful comment on the blog of a stranger. Or if masturbation isn’t your cup of tea, then maybe get a dartboard. If you want, you can print out a picture of me and throw darts at it. Whatever it is that would get the bug out of your ass, you should probably do it. Unless it’s illegal.
Secondly, I appreciate that you feel that you are a more attractive person than I am. You may be physically more beautiful, but I’m probably a nicer person–which can occasionally trump physical beauty. I would suggest you work on your personality so that the inside of you matches the outside.
As for my assessment of my own physical appearance, I don’t hate it anymore. Yeah, I’m trying to lose weight, but I’m doing that for my health. My self-esteem has gone up over the past few months1 and I’m not going to let some asshole on the internet change that. I’m especially not going to change it for some stranger who is promoting the idea that the only thing that can be attractive in another person is their appearance & that there is one standard of beauty. You may feel that way, but I’m working on not feeling that way.2
I could launch into a spiel about how fat people are fucking all over the world right now, but that might disturb you. I could say that some guys prefer a certain body type. I could even say that extra weight can make a girl feel “tighter” for a guy and that’s a big deal for a lot of guys.
Finally, I’m not lying about what happened..3 I actually get a lot of attention from guys.4 They seem to think something about me is worth checking out. Some are probably douches who are asking/saying inappropriate things. Some might lie to date me or have sex with me. Some might be genuine. And, while I would love for them to all be genuine and pretty respectful, I know that that’s all part of the dating experience.
I’ve been stood up for a date and I wrote about it. I’ve unknowingly been “the other woman”. I’ve almost been “the other woman” another time. I’ve had guys ask me if I squirt. I’ve had them try to convince me that it’s totally okay to have unprotected sex with total strangers. I’ve been asked in various ways why I was still a virgin. I’ve encountered more people using “cherry” to refer to sexual inexperience than I have people who label any red, fruity food/drink item as “cherry” in the last few months.5 All of that’s not going to make me stop looking for someone. And neither are your rude comments.
I trusted a bad guy. That’s bound to happen. I live and I learn and I move on. That’s what grown ups do.
Now, I think we’re done here. Don’t you? Don’t let the spam filter hit you on the way out.
I actually have some. ↩
Therapy works wonders. Just saying. ↩
It’s really offensive to me that you think I would lie about this sort of thing. If you think that I’m saying all of this for the attention, don’t you think I could have gotten more attention by continuing to say that I was a thirty year old unkissed “virgin”? We have a belief in our culture that anyone who hasn’t gone through these experiences after a certain age is somehow a freak. Freak status is more of an attraction for attention. ↩
I would say that I’m not bragging, but, after 20+ years of thinking I was unattractive, I totally am bragging. I’ve earned it. ↩
The hymen is not a cherry. It does not get popped. In a lot of cases, there is no tearing whatsoever. And virginity is a social construct that is used to oppress women. ↩