Photo via FirmBee via Visual Hunt
I write a lot, not as much on here as I used to, but I still write a lot. For better or worse, most of the writing tends to be on Twitter, though sometimes it is on Medium or Tumblr. Occasionally, there’s a Facebook post thrown in there. Can you digress in a first paragraph? So Twitter is a major platform for me to express myself. Sometimes I make pithy polls. Typically, the polls get between 2 and 20 votes. Lately, they’ve gotten a few more. When I responded to a person claiming that the Hamilton cast’s rebuke of Mike Pence was a vicious attack, the popularity of my pithy poll was easily attributed to Elon James retweeting it: Which is more vicious:@Sanrenkay @elonjames @maggieNYT — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 19, 2016 Last night, I stumbled across this response on Medium by Tom Steele to a post on New York prisoners being allowed (on average) 11 pads or tampons per month for use during their periods: One has t0 wonder if there is more to this story. 2.8 pads per woman per week, if I read that correctly, is 11 per month which seems like a lot. Some women would be expected to need less and it is hard to imagine many women needing more than that. I fully support providing the basic hygiene products required, like food, clothes, toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, towels, tampons, etc… I responded with an explanation of why 11 is an unfathomable number of pads. I followed that up with a screenshot and a pithy poll. Raise your hand if you have ever needed more than 11 pads or tampons for a period. pic.twitter.com/fA38Oeq222 — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 30, 2016 #period #periods #livetweetyourperiod #feminism #reprohealth (please RT) During your period do/did you typically go through: — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 30, 2016 I thought the maximum number of votes would be about 20. As of this moment, there are 8,937 votes in that poll. My mentions have been filled with stories by people who have (or have had) periods of all sorts, whether they’re long, short, or regular in length; heavy, light, or medium in flow; or occur regularly or irregularly. I’ve learned about supportive friends, clueless relatives, and how many people are frustrated by how little they’ve been taught or that they know about their own bodies. I understand all of that because I’ve experienced some of it, and because I’ve seen others go through similar struggles. I’ve gone through moments where I was excited because so many people were sharing their stories1 to moments where I just wanted to throw my iPod at the wall because so many people were sharing their stories. I wanted them to feel free to share them. I love the joking. But I’m confused about how to deal with all of it. When people ask questions, I want to be able to answer them. When they say something funny, I want to be able to laugh with them. When I empathize with something they’ve been through, I want to express it. I’m worried that I’m being rude if I don’t respond. I’m also worried that all I will ever be talking about again is periods. I know it’s only been like 24 hours, and that this will die down. But this experience is just a bit mind-blowing. I worry that Mr. Steele, as annoying as I find him, will be harassed. I worry that there might be other repercussions, and I feel guilty about that. It’s a little weird when I wanted a boycott over his reaction to emotional abuse and bullying, but I don’t want him to have any personal suffering over this stuff.2 He seems like he would be the kind of guy who would laugh this sort of thing off, and maybe he will. Or maybe he’ll learn a little from it. I can hope that’s what will happen, but I will always worry about the possible negatives because that’s what I do. I worry that maybe his Christmas vacation will be spent trying to ruin my Christmas dullness. As I typed that paragraph, 34 notifications piled up on Twitter.3 This is new. This is different. This is weird. This is life with social media…and I really need to learn to stop doing my pithy polls. When Mara Wilson shared it, I fangirled out. Gayle Forman commenting about it made me fangirl a bit, too. I think I have all of her books. ↩What I truly want from both is for him to learn the facts and not promote ignorance. ↩Oy with the poodles already. ↩

Accidentally Popular   Recently updated!




Photo credit: Amy McTigue via Visual Hunt / CC BY-ND
My father’s anger issues are something that I’ve mentioned a few times over the years. Whatever is causing the dementia/memory issues seems to have made those issues even more prevalent. Any time that my mom opens her mouth, he yells at her. She could be talking to me and he will snipe at her. He’s thrown things. He is mad over everything and convinced that the world is out to get him. I can’t talk him down. I used to be able to be the voice of reason between the two of them, but his rage gets worse when I try. That rage has had ongoing consequences for me. He grabbed my right wrist months ago and I had some pretty bad bruising; it’s still weak and painful, and it pops when I move it. I told my therapist, but I refuse to get it checked out by a doctor because I know that they might have to report it to cops.1  My mom told me that it would be better if, when he’s acting out, I didn’t say anything to him about it. If he does something, we don’t confront him because the blame falls on us–even if it doesn’t involve us in any way. I thought he was scary before all of this, but I never knew just how bad he could get. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do. I keep making excuses for him because I know that even though he’s always had anger issues that something else is making him like this. This isn’t my dad. This is like my grandfather and I don’t want my dad to be like that man. I want my dad to be himself again. I want him to talk to his doctors about what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling; and I want him to be honest about his symptoms. He has lied to them and that’s impeding his treatment. I want him to let one or both of us talk to his doctors. How are they going to know about the rage? How will they know about the anxiety attacks he has every week when he goes to the grocery store with my mom?2 How will they figure out what’s going on in his head if he won’t tell them? Mom tried to ask him what she could do because she’s trying to figure out how they can get along. He doesn’t want her to try because he doesn’t think that anything will make their relationship better. In other words, he wants to be angry with her and take out all of his anxiety & aggression on her. This isn’t healthy and it isn’t right. I just want things to be better. The code of ethics for a social worker prevents her from sharing the information. ↩He won’t let her go with me instead of him. ↩

Tales from the Angry Side   Recently updated!


Photo credit: kid-josh via VisualHunt.com / CC BY-NC-SA 1
If you’re near Greenville, consider boycotting @B937AlltheHits or @HawkAndTom for Tom Steele’s normalization of harassment and abuse. https://t.co/eLWfjkVktF — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 14, 2016 Two weeks ago, radio “personality” Tom Steele told an online acquaintance that his generation believed in the myth that “sticks and stones” wouldn’t actually cause you harm. As someone who was emotionally abused and bullied, I called bullshit. I also made a small suggestion that people in his market boycott his show. Over the weekend, after I’d all but forgotten about the whole thing, he decided that it was time to fight back. I’m going to keep a running total of how many insults he manages to throw my way. @janersm @B937AlltheHits Ahh, the last resort of the upset liberal – squelching free speech. That's what got you into this mess. LOL — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 27, 2016 @janersm Trying to stop free expression through financial threats is exactly “trying to squelch” free speech. You live in pretend-world. — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 27, 2016 Before he challenged the tweet, my boycott statement had no likes or retweets. Those only started afterward. Even by his own admission, my “boycott” was unsuccessful. So the “financial threat” is nonexistent, or it was before he decided to draw attention to the “boycott”. Also, it is absolutely hilarious to me that I’m trying to squelch his right to free speech. As I told him last night, boycotts are an expression in the free market of speech by consumers. Insults so far: 11 .@janersm Debate is free expression. But you attempt to stop the speech from occurring. That’s NOT a form of free speech. It’s suppression. — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 27, 2016 He’s correct that debate is free expression, but he’s incorrect in suggesting that boycotts are a suppression of free speech. He’s allowed to say whatever he wants. Consumers get to decide how they want to respond to his words. .@janersm I don’t try to shut you up. Just debate, see the difference? In your world you are right and everyone else isn’t allowed to speak. — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 27, 2016 He actually didn’t try to debate. Ever. Anyone who attempts to debate him is accused of whining. It seems to be his go-to thing. Insults so far: 22 @janersm I never said that. You either didn’t comprehend or are deliberately misrepresenting it. That’s ok. Have a nice life. — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 27, 2016 This is what we call gaslighting. You’ll notice similarities between this sort of response and the response of Donald Trump when people quote him. It probably isn’t surprising that Mr. Steele is .@janersm You’ve made your point. Clearly it isn’t a good idea to post on medium because you risk boycotts from anyone who disagrees. — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 27, 2016 My point was actually that it’s not okay to be an asshole or push the “sticks and stones” narrative. .@janersm You do have the right. But trying 2 boycott is suppressing free speech. Debating the issue is FINE! Making others shut up is not. — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 27, 2016 Which is why he wants to make me shut up. .@janersm You tried to. You didn’t like what I said, instead of debating, you immediately tried to use a boycott to make me stop speaking. — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 27, 2016 Actually, my first reaction was to discuss it with him. We did go back and forth on Medium, then I didn’t hear from him again. I made the tweet over his willingness to normalize abuse/bullying. Trying to go the “sticks and stones” route is going to turn off anyone who has any understanding of the impact of emotional abuse or bullying on the human mind and body. He shouldn’t be surprised that someone didn’t respond positively to his remarks. Surely it isn’t the first time. .@janersm Just because it’s not successful doesn’t mean it isn’t an attempt 2 make someone stop speaking because u don’t like what they say. — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 27, 2016 In other words, the financial threat by me wasn’t real, but he needed someone to yell at because he was angry over something in his life.3 @janersm I did not normalize harassment or abuse. You just don’t understand plain English. Some people are too stupid to argue with. — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 28, 2016 Yes, he did normalize it. And he’s about to continue to normalize it. Insults so far: 445 .@janersm Instead of boycotting, why not ask them to read your lame article and my response and judge for themselves? I think I know why… — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 28, 2016 It wasn’t actually my article, it was Kiva Bay’s and it was awesome. Insults so far: 56 @janersm I observed that. I didn’t encourage it. I’m fat and ugly. I made that clear. I said get over it – like I did. I’ve tried 2 explain. — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 28, 2016 I tried explaining to him again that the main issue was with the “sticks and stones” aspect. He may have gotten over the bullying, but he still seems to have anger issues. @janersm A generation of people who make mountains out of molehills. That’s my point. You won’t even hear when I try to explain it. — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 28, 2016 Like responding to a weeks old tweet? Oh wait, a millennial didn’t do that. @janersm I didn’t justfy it. I told u what my dad told me. IGNORE them. Don’t GIVE THEM POWER 2 hurt u. They ONLY have power if u give it. — The Hawk N Tom Show (@hawkandtom) November 28, 2016 His dad was wrong. @janersm […]

Sticks and Stones and Hawk N’ Tom



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I like to play hashtag games. They give me an opportunity to pun around. Some go over better than others. Imagine Grand Dragons #TrumpInauguralBands — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 25, 2016 Iron and Cheap Wine #TrumpInauguralBands — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 25, 2016 Pussy Grabbing Dolts #TrumpInauguralBands — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 25, 2016 Cheap Dick #TrumpInauguralBands — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 25, 2016 Racist Inside the Machine #TrumpInauguralBands — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 25, 2016 Orange 1 #TrumpInauguralBands — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 25, 2016 The Swamp Brothers #TrumpInauguralBands http://pic.twitter.com/Nkb6oP0D07 — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 25, 2016 System of a Clown #TrumpInauguralBands — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 25, 2016 Vota Suppression #TrumpInauguralBands — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 25, 2016 4OH!4 #TrumpInauguralBands — Janet Morris (@janersm) November 25, 2016 Tweets by others in the hashtag: The Orange Man Group#TrumpInauguralBands — Craig Rozniecki (@CraigRozniecki) November 25, 2016 Sir Lie-a-Lot#TrumpInauguralBands — Craig Rozniecki (@CraigRozniecki) November 25, 2016



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If you’re looking for a charity to donate to, I’ve included links to the donation pages of the charities listed under each category. Most of these originally were posted as part of my 2016 holiday wishlist. Abuse and Sexual Assault 1in6 National Coalition Against Domestic Violence RAINN Animal Rights ASPCA Antisemitism ADL Capital Punishment National Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty Civil Liberties ACLU Disability Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund Environment/Science Clinton Foundation EarthJustice GreenPeace NRDC Union of Concerned Scientists Human Rights Human Rights Watch USA for UNHCR Women’s Refugee Commission Islamophobia CAIR Journalism ProPublica RSF LGBTQ Human Rights Campaign Lambda Legal SPLC Trevor Project Poverty Alabama Arise Clinton Foundation Racism Black Lives Matter Mexican American Legal Defense Fund NAACP and its Legal Defense Fund SPLC Reproductive Rights/Feminism Center for Reproductive Rights Clinton Foundation EMILY’s List Guttmacher NARAL National Abortion Federation National Organization for Women Planned Parenthood She Should Run Women’s Refugee Commission If you have any suggestions for this list, please let me know.

Charitable Shortcuts   Recently updated!


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This is a meme that I participate in every year on LiveJournal. Even if you get nothing, it’s still a fun meme because it allows us to be kids again and make Christmas lists. Let’s face it, that kind of dreaming and hope is fun. So here’s my wishlist this year. If you want to make one, leave me a link and I’ll post it here. THE ORIGINAL MEME: STEP ONE Make a post (public, friends-locked, filtered… whatever you’re comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of ten holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related (“I’d love a Snape/Hermione icon that’s just for me”) to medium (“I wish for _____ on DVD”) to really big (“All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV”). The important thing is to make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want. If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it’s your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) can get in touch with you. Your home address is not required! Make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ so that the holiday joy will spread. STEP TWO Surf around your friends list (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now, here’s the important part… You needn’t spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn’t to put people out, it’s to provide everyone a chance to be someone else’s holiday elf – to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not – it’s your call. There are no guarantees with this project, and no strings attached. Just… wish, and it might come true. Give and you might receive. You’ll have the joy of knowing you made someone’s holiday special. THE LIST I have listed more than 10 things. My list this year is a little different from past ones. I have always requested chocolate, but I developed an allergy to peanuts this last year, so I thought it might not be the best idea to request food anymore. I know it’s weird for me to mention this here. 1. Donate to any of these organizations: 1in6 ACLU, ADL, Alabama Arise, ASPCA, Black Lives Matter, CAIR, Center for Reproductive Rights, Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund, EarthJustice, EMILY’s List, GreenPeace, Guttmacher, Human Rights Campaign, Human Rights Watch, Lambda Legal, Mexican American Legal Defense Fund, NAACP and its Legal Defense Fund, NARAL, National Abortion Federation, National Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, National Organization for Women, NRDC, Planned Parenthood, ProPublica, RAINN, RSF, She Should Run, SPLC, Trevor Project, Union of Concerned Scientists, USA for UNHCR, Women’s Refugee Commission I think that, given the current political/social climate, they’re going to need all of the support they can get. If you want to donate in your name, that’s fine. If you want to donate in my name, that’s fine. 2. A plush-style throw/blanket. I don’t really have any specific color or fandom requests on this.1 3. A subscription to a service like OwlCrate, InfinityCrate, or LootCrate. I have friends who subscribe to these services, and I’m always envious of them. 4. A Barkbox or LootCrate Pet subscription for Amy Pond (my dachshund/boss) because she’s my bestie. She’s not a miniature; she’s about 20 pounds. 5. Funko products featuring any of my fandoms. I have some Pop!, mugs, and a plush, and I think all of their stuff is awesome, so I’m not going to be picky about this. 6. Shot glasses. I don’t drink, I just collect them. 7. Tea pots. I also collect these. 8. Coffee Mugs. Yep, these too. I do drink coffee, though. 9. Makeup. Specifically NYX lip gloss. I’ve run out of some and broken the containers of others. I like all sorts of colors, but the browns don’t look very good on me. 10. Accessories. Hats, socks, scarves, headbands, purses, barettes, necklaces, bracelets. I absolutely need a wallet. Belts if they’re made for plus-size women. 11. Crafting and sewing stuff. Knitting, crocheting, embroidery, quilting, sewing, jewelry making stuff, adult coloring books, colored pencils, markers, beads, fabric, safety pins. 12. Obligatory teddy bear/stuffed animal request. 13. Paypal/Square donations (email for that is personal[dot]janet[at]fuzzypinkslippers[dot]com) or donations to my GoFundMe, which will help for repairs needed on my house. There’s also my Patreon, where I’m always looking for patrons. 14. Gift cards from iTunes, Lane Bryant, Starbucks, Target, Torrid, & Zenni. 15. Anything from Amazon.com wishlist. It’s fine if it’s something that’s used or that you find somewhere else. Fandoms 2 Broke Girls, Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Arrowverse, Auburn, The Big Bang Theory, The Blacklist, Charmed, Dakota Johnson, Disney, Doctor Who, Friends, Game of Thrones, Glee, Gilmore Girls, Harry Potter (esp. “my house” Hufflepuff), Hello Kitty, How to Get Away with Murder, Hunger Games, iZombie, Jamie Dornan, Jane the Virgin, Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Marvel, Once Upon a Time, Orphan Black, Outlander, Peanuts, Pretty Little Liars, Project Runway, Scream Queens, Star Trek, Star Wars, Stranger Things, Supernatural, Taylor Swift, True Blood, Twilight, UNC, Westworld Interests Crafts, fashion, reading, listening to music, singing, walking, cooking, hair, makeup, politics (progressive/liberal/left-wing), feminism, green living, cute stuff, photography Favorite colors pink, purple, baby blue, silver, red Contact If you need my address, email me at janet.main@fuzzypinkslippers.com There are two at Walmart that I adore. One is a stock image of London that’s black & white except for a red phone box. The other is a stock picture of Paris. But I would be just as happy with a solid color one. ↩

Holiday Wishlist Meme 2016



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I’m considering alcoholism. I figure that with my family’s history of alcohol and drug addiction, my OCD, and my personal tendency toward addictive behavior in other areas, I’ve got a good shot at becoming one within a few days. Of course I’ve never actually had alcohol, don’t have the money to afford alcohol, would probably get excommunicated from my church if I tried it, and alcohol will interfere with the Effexor, GERD, my pouch from gastric bypass surgery, and any part of my digestive tract that still absorbs pretty much anything, so this may not be a workable plan. L’chaim! Also, a big fuck you to the Republican Party, any media outlet that gave Trump free coverage early on, people in the alt-right, Jill Stein, James Comey, Gary Johnson, Evan McMullin, all of the Trump voters,1 and anyone else who has contributed to the election of Hitler 2.0. Your “ideals”2 are of little comfort to those of us who Trump & his ilk have threatened, doxed, harassed, bullied, or targeted. “Words – so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne even those of you who are friends and family ↩Is it really an ideal if it leads to discrimination or injury of another party? ↩

Mazel Tov Cocktails for the Molotov Enthusiasts


Photo credit: Vaprotan via Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC-ND
Today was my last daily injection of Vitamin B-12. Now I’m going to weekly injections. Eight weeks from tonight, I’ll be back on monthly injections. So far I can’t tell that the shots have done anything. I only know that every time I give myself a shot, I feel more exhausted. It’s a paradoxical effect, but it’s one I’ve always had with B-12. My breathing is still crappy. My heart rate is through the roof. My dizziness and tendency toward disorientation has gotten worse. I was dizzy for about 3 hours last night after hearing a cowbell effect on a Mississippi State sports story; I wasn’t dizzy before the effect played. Sounds have often thrown me off a bit, but never quite that bad. I still have a couple of weeks before I’m supposed to go to the pulmonologist. Keep your fingers crossed that it won’t get worse. Speaking of appointments, tomorrow is dad’s appointment for the neurologist. Since his MRI, EEG, Doppler, and standard memory tests all came back normal, he’s convinced that he’s not got dementia. He thinks it is all just regular age-related memory loss. I’m afraid the doctor will feed into that. I don’t think he’s told him how dizzy he gets or about his headaches. I don’t know if he’s told him just how bad his memory loss has been. I don’t know if he’s told him how angry he’s gotten. I know that there is something wrong with him and I don’t know what it is. And I have this horrible feeling that it’s only going to get worse.  

A Bruising Hiatus