Yesterday afternoon, I made these videos as part of that #YesAllWomen video project that I mentioned yesterday. Madison mentioned on her Instagram account that the deadline is Friday, May 30. If you’re interested in contributing, then you’ll need to do so by then. It was actually a much larger video that I had to cut down in order to upload it. (The original file was over 33 minutes long and 2.6 GB of memory.) I was surprised at how long it ended up being. This may be the most I’ve actually talked all year. I would encourage others to share their stories. If you don’t feel safe doing it in a video or in a tweet, then you could do something as “little” as writing in a personal journal or something. Acknowledging it is a major step. And, if you ever feel that you’re ready, getting out to someone is a big thing. And remember that no person’s story is more or less important than any other person’s story. Anyone who judges you for what you’ve experienced is not someone whose opinion you should concern yourself with or obsess over.

My #YesAllWomen Videos

A few months ago, I decided to quit eating potato chips. I decided that any help they were giving me in certain departments was being negated by the high fat. Well, I’ve learned that my sandwiches that I’ve been eating every day are also not so great for me. Even with very little mayonnaise on them, they were eating up a lot of my daily calorie amount. Also, the meals that my family had been eating were ranging anywhere from 650 calories to around 1100 calories. Tonight I decided to try cooking again, because I had quit actually cooking a while ago. We had Crispy Fish and Peppers and French Fries. I’d never cooked fish from scratch. This time I did. (Well, from scratch as in it had already been turned into individual fillets.) Tonight’s calorie total for dinner? 391. There were a few technical issues. The fish fell apart and the batter decided that it wanted to stay in the pan when it was done. But it tasted good. My parents even said it was good, which really shocked me because my mom hates tilapia, which was the type of fish I used. I could have used catfish, but I hate everything about that. (That makes me weird for a southerner, you know.) Tomorrow, I’m planning on making Beef and Black Bean Chili. In the meantime, I am trying to get across to my parents that I want this to be more of a family effort. I didn’t particularly enjoy that, when they went shopping, they came home with ice cream and donuts. I told them this and explained why. Anyway, I hope that MyFitnessPal will help me keep myself on track. Hopefully, I’ll start losing weight. I’m also planning on trying Pilates or just doing some stretching and walking. Eventually, I hope to actually start using my membership at the Wellness Center that is a part of my Humana Medicare plan.

Come-to-Jesus Moment

I am sick…again. I know, I know. When am I not sick? This time I ended up going to the ER on Sunday afternoon, only to be prescribed some cough syrup and a new inhaler and sent home. I had called the family doctor on Saturday. The resident on call told me that I should continue to use my rescue inhaler every four hours for the remainder of Saturday. He said that if I was still having the same issues with breathing on Sunday that I needed to go to the ER and have a nebulizer treatment, so I did what he said. I didn’t get a nebulizer treatment, though. I did get a pregnancy test, which I was a bit pissed over. At some point, Guinness needs to declare me the world record holder for number of pregnancy tests taken by someone who hasn’t had sex. Considering that I have to have them whenever I have a procedure or surgery, certain X-rays, and just about any time that I have to go to the ER, I would say that I’ve had a lot of unnecessary pee stick tests. It took them 3 hours to get me back to X-ray after I had taken the stupid test, which, given the time of year (Christmas/Virgin Mary/etc.), started freaking me out. I mean, why should it take 3 hours to do a stupid pregnancy test that I didn’t really need in the first place? By the way, I’m not pregnant. When I finally got back to the X-ray area, instead of doing 2 X-rays, one from one view and one from another, I ended up having 5. On the first view, the first one wasn’t clear enough, the second one ended up having the little marker thing right in the middle of my left lung, and apparently the third one was just right. The second view? Well, I guess I didn’t get enough air in the first time, so she had me do it again. At this point, it was getting even more difficult and more painful to breathe. Then, I went back out to the ER waiting room and waited for about another hour or two. I was finally taken back with two other patients. While the nurse back there was getting me all checked in, the doctor came in, listened to my lungs, and said that I was wheezing some and that he was going to prescribe an inhaler and some cough syrup. No nebulizer. No real big change, except the cough syrup, which I don’t like to take because (1.) it takes crappy and (2.) it makes me feel a little more wonky. He told me that he thought I just had a cold. Yeah, because a person who has no symptoms of an actual cold other than trouble breathing must have a cold. I kept trying to get across to these people (including the family doctor) that I have cough variant asthma and that the fact that I was wheezing was a sign that the proverbial shit had hit the fan.123 So I’m still feeling like utter shit, coughing, and having trouble breathing. I uploaded a video on YouTube of what the cough is like this time around compared to the way it sounded back in January. Speaking of videos, I’ve been uploading some of Amy to YouTube. I’ve also been uploading pictures of her from Thanksgiving to Facebook and Flickr. I also uploaded a video of Nana from our belated Thanksgiving dinner telling mom, dad, and me about a recent kitchen disaster. I uploaded it because last year I had a video of my accent, which I try very hard to suppress, and I thought that maybe if people heard the way she spoke, then you would know what accent that I try to make sound as “normal” as possible.   Cough variant asthma is associated with a higher wheezing threshold than classic asthma: The results indicated that the mechanism for the manifestation of cough without wheeze in the cough variant asthma may be a higher wheezing threshold, i.e. wheezing becomes audible at the greater degree of airway obstruction than classic asthma. They suggested that patients with cough variant asthma may represent a subset of asthmatic subjects whose airways are less able to produce a wheeze. ↩The Asthma Center: Cough-variant asthma is characterized by a persistent or recurrent dry hacking cough. It is not usually associated with wheezing or shortness of breath; however, patients may complain of chest tightness. Coughing may be provoked by exercise or exposure to strong odors, allergens, or upper respiratory tract infections. Anti-tussives are not very effective in controlling this cough, while treatment with inhaled albuterol (bronchodilator) will often be successful. Response to asthma medication along with evidence of airway hyperreactivity support the diagnosis. ↩WebMD: Cough-variant asthma is a type of asthma in which the main symptom is a dry, non-productive cough. (A non-productive cough does not expel any mucus from the respiratory tract.) People with cough-variant asthma often have no other “classic” asthma symptoms, such as wheezing or shortness of breath. Cough-variant asthma is sometimes called chronic cough to describe a cough that has lasted longer than six to eight weeks. The coughing with asthma can occur during the day or at night. If you have nighttime asthma, it can interrupt sleep. People with cough-variant asthma often notice that coughing increases with exercise, called exercise-induced asthma. Coughing may increase when they are exposed to asthma triggers or allergy-causing substances like dust or strong fragrances, or when they are in cold air. ↩

Coughing Up a Lung

This afternoon the doctor that Humana wanted me checked out by came by the house. She was much nicer (and more competent) than the home health nurse that they had checking Mom out. She’s not going to be a repeat visitor–or I don’t think she will. It was just a way for Humana to figure out what services I need from them and from my regular doctors. She told me that I need the pneumonia vaccine (the one I had wondered if my insurance would cover), a bone density test, and a cholesterol screening, an HbA1C. She also said that I need to discuss with my doctors ways to become more active, ways to keep from falling, how to deal with my depression, find out what is causing the ongoing issue with my digestive tract, and find out what is causing the tachycardia. She wanted the bone density test because I’ve had fractures in the past (back when I was a teenager) and because of the Vitamin D deficiency. I understand that, since I think my mom had to go through one of those after she started breaking bones a few years ago. She said that, despite what a few doctors have said, the doctors that said I had a heart murmur were right. She was also concerned that I may have Celiac Disease because of all the vitamin and mineral deficiencies. I told her that I’d been tested and that, according to the tests, that wasn’t the issue. I told her that there were certain things that you just end up having problems with in this family: vitamin deficiencies, mental illness, and heart murmurs. And that is pretty true. (I forgot to mention that asthma was another thing that just comes along with being in this family.) In non-health news, I guess I better introduce Amy Pond, who has (within a very short timeframe) become the boss of me. She’s a dachshund. She was born on December 21, 2012, which I didn’t know until after I had picked the name out. I might have gone with something like Maya, if I had known. Nah, I probably still would have chosen Amy Pond. She is a spunky little ginger and she likes to boss everyone and everything around, so it’s a very fitting name. (When we took her to PetSmart to pick out toys, she snapped at a cat. When we took her to our vet to get her checked out, she growled and barked at a huge lab. I guess it’s a case of little dog, big attitude.) Pictures This is Amy and me the day after we got her. This is her earlier this week on my mom. And this is from yesterday, on her bed, with her toys Bobo (pink thing) and Little Puppy (brown dog toy). Videos From right after we got her. This basket was supposed to be her bed. (We were cleaning the blanket/puppy bed that went in it at the time.) She never would stay in it, though. She used it mainly to get on mom’s couch/bed or on my couch. This is her last week on my shoulder. She loves to sit or sleep on shoulders, so I joked that she was a parrot. And yesterday on what she’s chosen as her bed, my mom’s bed/couch. She loves sleeping under the covers, as well as playing under them.

Carry On, Carry On

These are the words that always seem to greet me whenever I’m supposed to call the doctor because I’m sick. My mom will hound me for days about how I sound so very sick, then the day that I actually need to call the doctor the most, she always says, “You must be feeling better today.” She usually states how I coughed less during the night, which I think is the result of her becoming more able to sleep through my regular coughing the longer it stays in the regular-area of the frequency scale. (I cough quite a bit when I’m not sick, but when I am sick, it becomes more constant. It has to do with the whole cough-variant asthma, I think.) BTW, this is the cough that she has learned how to sleep through. It sounds like this all the time, even when I’m not sick. And yes, that does happen. This cough is why I sometimes judge people who cough in a more normal fashion. It’s also the cough that causes my grandmother and my mother to cringe when they’re awake. Nana thinks I sound just like her mom and had panicky states when we stayed with her last year and I would just randomly cough. My great-grandmother did have a cough like this. In her life, she was diagnosed with bronchiectasis (please don’t look it up on Wikipedia because gross pictures are on there), had a lung removed, was in and out of hospital for infections and COPD, and basically had a bunch of issues with her lungs for years. Oddly, she died from a non-lung related illness, colon cancer. Still, for almost 90 years (she died over 10 years ago) she dealt with having bad lungs. Of course, for almost 80 years now, Nana has had bad lungs, and for over 50 years, my mom has had bad lungs, too. It’s just a family tradition. Neither of them has the cough, though. And the reason I’m really writing this post and posting this video is to waste the time I have to wait before I can I call the doctor to see if maybe, just maybe I can at least get a new inhaler since I’ve lost my old one, the antibiotics that I turned down, and the cough syrup that I probably need. And for the record, I really do not feel any better today. I feel worse. My lungs and throat are burning. This tends to happen either when I’ve hurt them from coughing too much or when the extra coughing is the result of bronchitis. And between the time I started writing this (aka when she woke up) and the time I started to post it, my mom has determined that I sound like I definitely need to go to the doctor, take whatever medicines that the doctor gives me, and be very careful not to make whatever bug caused this get worse.

You Must Be Feeling Better

I finally decided to do that accent tag that is probably extremely old by now. I was bored and it seemed like a good way to waste some time. Besides, I’m always late to a trend, but this is my try at the accent tag.  I am a very quiet person, so you may need to jack up your volume to hear me. Sorry. Words & Questions Used: Words: Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught Questions: What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house? What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball? What is the bubbly carbonated drink called? What do you call gym shoes? What do you say to address a group of people? What do you call the kind of spider (or spider-like creature) that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs? What do you call your grandparents? What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket? What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining? What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

Speak! Good Dog.

separateyourmind: bathroomwindow: chodemaster: jetfueleatsramen: taylor-182: myvaginaitches: livetoinfinity: eyealaska: beforetoday:yrgod: There is a video on Youtube named Mereana mordegard glesgorv. If you search this, you will find nothing. The few times you find something, all you will see is a 20 second video of a man staring intently at you, expressionless, then grinning for the last 2 seconds. The background is undefined. This is only part of the actual video. The full video lasts 2 minutes, and was removed by Youtube after 153 people who viewed the video gouged out their eyes and mailed them to Youtube’s main office in San Bruno. Said people had also committed suicide in various ways. It is not yet known how they managed to mail their eyes after gouging them out. And the cryptic inscription they carve on their forearms has not yet been deciphered. Youtube will periodically put up the first 20 seconds of the video to quell suspicions, so that people will not go look for the real thing and upload it. The video itself was only viewed by one Youtube staff member, who started screaming after 45 seconds. This man is under constant sedatives and is apparently unable to recall what he saw. The other people who were in the same room as him while he viewed it and turned off the video for him say that all they could hear was a high pitched drilling sound. None of them dared look at the screen. The person who uploaded the video was never found, the IP address being non-existant. And the man on the video has never been identified. i can’t omg omg ;____; im about to cry ok these are my creys lol i laughed dad? i’m not easily scared, and i’m scared as fuck. i’ve got chills, dude. hey, you. leave long island and come unscareify me.

Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv