Me: Goodreads should add a special star for really bad books and call it the blackhole event horizon star. It could be a -5.star. Dead Ever After would qualify for that rating.
My dad: If it’s that bad, why are you reading it?
Me: Because it is the last book in the series. I feel that if I have put this much time and energy into a series, I should be able to see it through to the finish…even if the writer doesn’t feel the same.
[My dad, a long time sci-fi/fantasy/nerdy book fan, laughs. This is a man who is still ranting about a series he read back in the 1970s that disappointed him. He knows my pain, even if acts like he has no clue.]
The rhetoric surrounding the word “victim” is some that has constantly fascinated me. I often see it used in a disparaging sense, like above. And it raises a lot of questions.
I understand the desire by those who have been raped or abused to use the word “survivor” instead of “victim,” to take the focus away from what someone else did to them and gave them no choice about, to something positive that they themselves have accomplished. But let us be honest for a minute: is there more to it than that? Is there really something there that has to do with shame, with constant admonishments either directed specifically towards them or towards women everywhere, saying “don’t be a victim”? Is there a desire to get away from that embarrassing, horrible word? I tend to use the word “survivor” myself. And I have to wonder.
via Tumblr http://janersm.net/post/51593762146
A few days or so ago, there was this thing on Tumblr where followers could do a “quiz” about a person to see if they knew much about them. One of the questions was on the person’s dislikes. Chiara (aka lainwen) was the only person who I received the answers from. (Of course, the only way to receive those was through fan mail on there–she’d sent them 2-3 times on ask, so maybe there’s something bug on Tumblr when it comes to that feature.) Anyway, she pointed out that she didn’t know things I dislike and I realized that on there, I don’t really talk about things I don’t like that much. I don’t really do that in many places. (Except when it comes to politics and personal events.) So, I thought that maybe I could devote a blog entry to things that I just don’t like.
There are other things I dislike. There are things that I dislike more than the stuff on this list, but I thought that this list is a good (or bad) start.
I stumbled upon this Facebook page called Pornography Harms yesterday after a conversation with Angela on Twitter about One Million Moms. I recognized the page because I’d seen it in my recommendations at one point. Someone from YSA had sent all the other YSA folks the link at some point because members of the Mormon church are supposed to be vehemently opposed to any incidences of pornography that may exist. (The definition of porn for some of those folks includes ads for weight loss products, bikinis, tank tops, etc.) I never liked the page, though, because I just thought it was a bit ridiculous.
I have an appointment with the hematologist (or as my mom calls him, “the cancer doctor”) tomorrow. I think that tomorrow’s visit will involve some blood work, since it’s been a while since I have had any done. (Also, since it is difficult to keep track of a blood disorder without examining blood, expecting lab work seems logical.) I hope that it’s still in the non-anemic range, but, like last time, I’m worried that it won’t be. This time is different because I’ve had a few pica-ish cravings for soap again. It could just be that the soap actually smells delicious, but delicious-smelling soap is rather rare. I haven’t actually broken down and eaten any, but that’s mainly because we have liquid soap in this house instead of bar soap. (Bar soap tastes better, while liquid is more bitter and burns a bit more.) My fingernails have also had a reappearance of white spots on them, which was one of the signs last time. I hope that I’m just being super-anxious.
In mental health related news, and unrelated to this, my psychiatrist finally called back. Actually a nurse or a receptionist that works at the Mental Health Center called back. My Effexor XR prescription was about to be called in. She was worried that I had run out and that I would have to titrate up. My dose is 300 mg, and people generally go up 37.5 mg at a time, so it would have taken a while. I told her that I ran out of my own pills about a week and a half ago, but my mom happened to have some for me to take. I actually ran out of my “stash” on the 26th, so that was actually a little over two weeks ago. My mom got frustrated when I told her that I revealed that I used hers because she thought the psychiatrist (who happens to treat her as well) would get upset that she was sharing. I think that the psychiatrist will just be glad that we came up with a solution that didn’t end up involving hospitalization or an act of extreme violence.
As for the post that irked me so, I’ve reacted like that person did (overreacting, misinterpreting what was said, inferring things that were nowhere near true) toward other people, so I guess I can understand it happening. At the same time, I am horribly frustrated that what I said was so misunderstood and ended up convincing someone that I was advocating something that I would never ever advocate. I’m also beyond pissed off that said person said that I had no experience with mental illness. Sometimes I wish that were true. I have a feeling my life would be very, very different now if that were true. Actually if I had no experience with mental illness, then I wouldn’t be me, so it wouldn’t really be my life. So maybe I don’t wish that it was true.
What irks me more is that Tumblr has gone from a place where people can express their reasonable frustration towards acts of injustice to a place where there are people who go above and beyond when it comes to social justice blogging. Yes, there are bad things that go on in the world. Yes, you should stand up to the bad people. Yes, you should speak out about the bad stuff. But some of the people seem to be looking for a fight, and I’ve been there, done that, and know where that can lead. Being all rage-y can feel good at the time, but it really isn’t good. It actually can make you feel worse in the long run, and it doesn’t really help the social justice causes that people seem to be getting riled up about.
Some woman on the news said she thinks that James Holmes is evil, not mentally ill. I’ve seen that kind of thing said over and over again about people accused of violent crimes. Science has shown that evil people just don’t exist. People who are accused of doing evil typically have something going wrong in their brains. If a person kills someone because they have no empathy or because they’re paranoid or because they believe they hear voices or because they have some other reason that “normal” people don’t explain, it doesn’t make that person evil. It makes them sick. And I hope that the people who call them evil don’t ever have to deal with any kind of illness that impacts their brains and causes them to act out in some antisocial way.
This is extremely ableist and creates ginormous amounts of stigma for people withe mental illnesses, and plus statistics don’t back you up.
‘Evil’ people might not exist, but shit people exist. They exist without mental illness, contrary to popular belief. Surprise, having a mental illness doesn’t make you do ‘evil’ things! It doesn’t make you a bad person or a shit person. It simply makes you a person with mental illness.
You seem to have a very minimal understanding of mental illnesses since you describe them as ‘paranoid or hearing voices’ and also because you seem to truly believe that mental illness makes a person violent. You have a lot more to fear from the neurotypical people you walk bye every day. It’s your belief that mental illness-=violent that caused the mentally ill to be treated inhumanely and locked away in asylums. It’s that belief that sparked the fear that stripped the mentally ill of their rights.
Evil is a perfectly all right word to describe people who commit violent crimes. You know what isn’t an okay word to describe people who commit violent crimes? Mentally ill.
Maybe you should go back and read what I actually said.
I never said that mentally ill people should be treated inhumanely or locked away in asylums. I never said they were bad people. I never said that it made people more violent. I do believe that there are people in jail right now that have mental illnesses or that have neurological disorders (you seemed to miss my reference to that in my post) that shouldn’t be in jails right now. I also believe that there are people who get executed regularly who have something going on in their heads that they cannot control and that caused them to act in an antisocial manner. And, hey, look: there are more things that back up what I said – 1, 2, 3.
You think I don’t understand mental illness? LOL. I’ve been in and out of therapy for the last 21 years. (I’m 29.) I’ve been in a psychiatric hospital. The majority of my family has at least one mental illness. My father has PTSD and IED. My mother has attempted suicide more times than even she can count. Both of my parents and I are on SSDI because of *gasp* mental illnesses. And one of my (4) diagnoses is Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar Type, which means that I suffer from an ACTUAL psychotic disorder which causes me to get paranoid and hear voices. I also suffer from a personality disorder (BPD) that sometimes gets me classified with people who lack empathy. And I have several family members who meet the characteristics of Antisocial Personality Disorder, a disorder commonly seen in serial killers, thieves, people who do bad shit to other people for fun, etc. So when I was saying this stuff, I actually knew what the fuck I was talking about.
But congratulations on trying to make me look like the bad guy. That makes you look really swell. You can kindly go fuck yourself now.
via Tumblr http://janersm.net/post/45292801838