Tag: Social Work Program


10 Day Challenge: Day 1

25
April

Okay, it may seem completely ridiculous, but while I finish up the 30 Days of Truth thing, I’m also going to do this 10 Day Challenge that I saw posted on libere’s tumblr. All 10 prompts are posted at the bottom. The topic for the first day is:

Day 1: Ten Things You Wanted/Want to Be When You’re Older

  1. Teacher
  2. Hairstylist
  3. Fashion Designer
  4. Music Producer/Manager
  5. Psychologist/Therapist
  6. Politician
  7. Doctor
  8. Actress/Singer/Artist
  9. Dancer/Dance Teacher
  10. Writer

The first thing I ever remember wanting to be was a teacher.  It kind of made sense.  My dad’s sister and her (late) husband were teachers down in South Alabama.  (Their daughter, my only female first cousin, has since become a teacher.)  My great-grandmother (mom’s dad’s mom) was also a teacher.  Education was something that was always stressed in my family.  So, for years, I planned to be a teacher.  In fifth grade, I would even sit down and make out potential lesson plans.  Nutty, I know, but I just really wanted to teach.  Of course, that changed at some point in middle school.  I think that as I became more and more anxious, depressed, etc., I became more wary of possibly being a teacher.  It may have also come from some strain that I felt with some (bad) teachers and the school system’s punishment of anyone that they thought was a truant.

I also remember wanting to be a hairstylist from early on.  It always seemed like a wonderful way to show off my more creative side.  I decided against it when I realized that if I messed up someone’s hair, they would have to live with it for a long, long time.

I used to sit at my Nana’s house and sketch clothes in this little notebook that I had down there.  I’ve always had ideas for clothes floating in my head, but I’ve never formally studied fashion design or even sewing.  My designs would probably be rubbish, but I always thought it would be cool to make clothes.  I thought that if I became a designer, then there could be fashionable stuff for people who are above average size or below wealthy financial status.

I don’t remember where the urge to become a music producer or manager started.  I had planned on going to Middle Tennessee State University which has (or had–don’t know if they still have a good one) a good program for music industry related degrees.  I’ve always loved music, and I figured that since I didn’t have the right look for the artist side that I could use my ear to find talent.  I think that my anxiety/depression kept me from pursuing this.

As some (long-time) readers might know, I studied Social Work in college.  I almost graduated with a BSW and was planning on getting a Master’s degree in Social Work (MSW).  I thought that my experience with mental health issues (my own and as a friend/family member of folks with them) might help me with the career path.  Of course, my experience ended up being the reason that I couldn’t graduate.  (As I’ve mentioned a few times before, teachers in the program decided that because I was diagnosed at the time with Bipolar Disorder that I couldn’t graduate.  The decision came when I had 2 classes left in the program and after they’d had 3 [almost 4] years of knowledge of my nuttiness.)

In school, I was always running for offices.  I blame some of my family history for the desire to hold power.  I have ancestors who range from royals to local politicians.  I don’t think I could get elected, though, because of my political leanings and the fact that I am open about my mental and medical health statuses.

I was really tempted to study medicine, but my mom told me that I would probably have some issues because of how worn out I get when I miss some sleep.  (I can also get hyper from missing sleep, though.)  So, I never really got to study medicine.

I thought about being a singer and actress for a while.  Though I know that I can actually sing, I’ve been told that my acting skills are a bit on the lackluster side.  (They had been good in high school, but sometime after that, they dwindled.)  I also realized (early on) that I don’t look like someone who would be successful in “the biz”, and (unfortunately) looks are generally more important than talent in show business.

I studied dance from an early age through sixth grade.  I loved it, especially ballet, and I really wanted to teach little kids to dance.  I always felt that dance had the ability to teach children discipline as well as grace and creativity.  After I started spraining joints regularly and was eventually told that I could never dance again, I realized that it would be pretty impossible to teach dance.

I still plan on someday penning novels.  I have a notebook full of ideas, and I really want to write them one day.  I’m always having trouble writing and thinking that its anymore than mindless junk. I’ve always told stories, though.  I used to scribble on paper and read the “stories” to my family, even though nothing was actually written.  I also would write stories on our old Tandy computer when I was in preschool and elementary school.  Some of the stories were printed out and donated to my first elementary school.  They bound them and put them on display in the school’s library for a while when I was there.

The Prompts

Day 1: Ten Things You Wanted/Want To Be When You’re Older

Day 2: Nine Things You Can’t Live Without

Day 3: Eight Places You Want To Visit

Day 4: Seven People Who Inspire You, and Why?

Day 5: Six of Your Favorite Books

Day 6: Five Things You Can Eat Everyday

Day 7: Four Songs That Describe Your Life Right Now

Day 8: Three favorite Cartoon Characters

Day 9: Two Movies You Absolutely Love

Day 10: One Quote That Describes Your Life Right Now

1 comment » | 10 Day Challenge, 10 Years of Madness, Alabama A&M, Confessions, Family, Geekery, General, memes, Mental Health, Music Stuff, Plans for Life, Pre-College Years, School, Sickness and Health, Tumblr, Who I Was - Past

Ain’t It Funny

14
February

Today, the wonderful school that I attended with the Social Work program that kicked me out for being nutty is having to respond to its accreditation board over the concerns about the relationship the school has with the AAMURI. The school might lose its accreditation, which I think might be kind of funny. It doesn’t surprise me that there might be some fishy stuff going on there. With the always changing board of trustees (whenever any of them show up, they resign or vote other people off the board) and the tendency to get new Presidents almost every other year, the school doesn’t really give off a very stable vibe.

Oh, today, I have to go see the nurse at the Mental Health Center. I scheduled an appointment with one of the nicer ones, though they claim that all of the nurses there are nice. (That’s simply untrue.) I just hope that I don’t get a last minute change to the one that I had the argument last time. I wish that I could see the psychiatrist instead, because nurse appointments tend to be a bit odd. The nurse basically “takes the order” for the prescriptions you need and then has to wait until a doctor is free, which is typically hours after the patient has gotten home, to get them approved, signed, and called in. Sometimes, they forget to call them in or lose them altogether.

I also have to call the family doctor because I’ve had some stomach issues lately. It started with a bruise-type feeling right next to my navel (with no bruise visible), and has turned into a 4-times-a-day removal of pus (and sometimes blood) from my belly button. So, I apparently need to get that checked out.

I hope that, whether you enjoy the symbolism/meaning of it, everyone has a lovely Valentine’s Day. And remember that even if you hate the day, there will be cheaper candy, cupcakes, cookies, and stuffed animals tomorrow. (There’s always a bright side, huh?)

Comment » | Alabama A&M, Alabama Weirdness, Confessions, Holidays, Mental Health, School, Sickness and Health, So Damn Special

Protected: The Antitrust Case

7
December

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Work All Day, Sleep All Night

23
November

The day after the D&C, I was back to cooking dinner again. Mom is still struggling to get around, and his royal highness couldn’t be bothered to quit playing Farmville long enough to cook dinner. Admittedly, a D&C isn’t really major surgery. (Though, when I had what was considered major surgery, I went through the same stuff.) This time he was a little bit perkier since he didn’t have to wake up in the middle of the night to take me for surgery.

I had the sore throat I complained of for a couple of days. My temperature was borderline-high over that weekend, but I figured I just had a cold. I was sleeping as much as I possibly could, because I was completely wiped out and because I just felt really bad.

Then, on Monday, I had to see my new (old) psychiatrist. She was the one that I had seen in 2007 at the infamous appointment. She was really nice, and was asking me some basic questions. She needed to know why I’d left the last psychiatrist. (I said I didn’t feel comfortable with her. I didn’t mention that I didn’t appreciate the old psychiatrist insulting me.) She had a nurse practitioner in on the appointment. She didn’t ask if it was okay, and I guess I could’ve asked the nurse practitioner to please leave. I didn’t, though. The psychiatrist asked what medicines I was on. I told her just the Effexor, but I hinted at some of the older medicines. My mom wanted me to see if I could be put back on anxiety medicines, partially to control my tachycardia episodes. I mentioned being on Klonopin, but didn’t push it. Around the time I mentioned it, I had broken out in a sweat and felt like I was about to fall over. I pretty much struggled to get through the rest of the (brief) appointment and then trudge out to the cart in the cold, wet November rain. We had to go get dog food (because we’d run out and it would’ve inconvenienced my dad to come back) and pick up medicine from the pharmacy (again, so he wouldn’t be inconvenienced). By the time we got home, and I could finally figure out if I had a fever or what, it was about 5:30 (past the time when any doctor around here will answer their phone) and my temperature was 100.1°F (37.8°C). I chugged some ice water, took 2 Tylenol, and rested on ice. Thus began a week of sleeping, Tylenol, and icing myself down. (I kept forgetting to call the doctor.)

I slept a lot. I was sleeping so much that I was waking up with horrible pains in my hip/back area, and I eventually decided that I was going to have to sleep in shorter intervals. So, I slept about 3-4 hours at a time, which helped the pain some. It didn’t help the sickness or the fever.

I was going to call the gynecologist yesterday, but I slept through office hours yesterday, and ended up calling today. When I called today, I was told that it would be sometime in the second week of December before they could see me. So, I’m going back for my re-check then.

I’m hoping the weird sleep and fever will get better. It shouldn’t continue that long, should it? And hopefully, by then, the period, the one that had gone away and has now come back, might be less flow-y and clot-y, except that it’s me and that’s how mine roll. Gotta think positive, right?

Oh, and one last thing, has anyone seen Jonna (aka Jojo from plinsessa/hellfrozenrain/bubblecandy). It’s been around 2 months since I’ve heard anything from her. I was wondering how she’s doing.

Comment » | Alabama A&M, Family, Friends, Internet, Mental Health, Sickness and Health

No Baby Bird

22
January

If I were to send the following (taken from an explanation I sent to a family member about what happened with college) in an email to you about what happened with A&M from 2004-2007 and trying again at UAH, then what would you say?

I started at A&M in 2004, told my professors from the start about my whole nutty issue. My depression started getting worse almost immediately, but I kept going. When it was time for my internship in the Social Work program, the field coordinator didn’t want to place me because (this was the first excuse) I couldn’t drive and she said that there were no agencies she could place me with that would accept a non-driver. She eventually found one, after she decided that the medicines I was on were too dangerous to allow me to drive safely. The first day I went on the internship (at the main Boys & Girls Club in North Huntsville), I wore the wrong shoes (fake Birkenstock sandals instead of tennis shoes) and my supervisor called her. So, the next day she came by and she wanted to check on me, and I was interacting with the kids and doing stuff and wearing the right shoes. A week later, I got called into the supervisors’ office and she was in there and they were talking about how I had been withdrawn and wasn’t reacting properly to the kids. (I was there with another girl from the school and I was actually more involved than she was, but this was never noticed.) Well, the field coordinator (who had been a teacher in a previous course and had been kind of hostile toward me there) intimidated me a bit and I started crying, which she said was unprofessional. She wanted to call my parents and I said that she would have to wait until the answering machine picked up and leave a message. She wanted to know why my parents couldn’t use caller ID, which made me cry harder, because this was in early 2007 when we had absolutely no money and were waiting on disability. I tried to explain, but I just couldn’t get it out, and part of me didn’t like the way she was acting. So, she decided to call my advisor and my advisor asked me if she could come with me to my next psychiatrist appointment. I said okay, thinking it would be only her. I was told to take a week off, since the appointment was in one week. I took the week off, and my parents and I went to the appointment. I was shocked when my advisor AND the field coordinator were there. My psychiatrist couldn’t see me that day, but another psychiatrist (at the Mental Health Center, they pass us around) saw me. Both professors went back with me, and I told this stranger about my problems with the two professors sitting there. The psychiatrist could tell I was upset, so she thought I needed to go inpatient (I didn’t) and the professors told me to take that semester off. They told me that if I thought I felt better that I could call them later in the semester for a new placement. I called several times, but my phone calls were ignored. I went back to A&M in the fall and pretty much sat outside the field coordinator’s office. She told me to wait a while, so I did, and one day later in the semester, I was asked to go to a meeting room with the two professors. This was the day that they told me that because I was bipolar, I could not complete the program. They went on to tell me that I should not have a job ever that had to do with dealing with other people. If I could avoid human contact, then that would be advisable. I finished that semester at A&M, and a year later I was at UAH.

I was going to go to UAH for a different degree, since I couldn’t finish that one when I realized that going to school was wreaking havoc on my mental and physical health, which was causing me to do worse in my classes. I was skipping a lot because I just had no physical energy some days. So, I’m on kind of an indefinite hiatus.

When a person can’t show up for half of their classes because of pure exhaustion, pain, depression, horrifyingly bad headaches, etc., should that person be reminded that they have basically quit? I am not currently in school, and I don’t know when I’m going to go back. However, I don’t think it’s fair to call me a quitter.

I probably have more credits than most people who have their doctorates. I went pretty much non-stop from August of 2001 until January of 2007, took a break and went back in August of 2007, had to reapply at UAH, started at UAH in January of 2009, and took a break beginning May of last year. I almost graduated in 2007, and am two classes away from that degree but I can’t complete it.

I just want to scream. I don’t like when people say I quit. Quitting sounds like I gave up because of laziness or something. I really hope that people don’t truly believe I’m lazy. If they do, then that’s their own damn problem. I work my butt off every day. It takes a lot of energy some days just to open my eyes. I have to push through a lot of crap just to do simple stuff.

People seem to see all my failures or things that I haven’t finished as being who I am, which I don’t appreciate. If you look at a baby bird learning to fly, you don’t look at all the times that it falls or that it can’t get up or any of that. You look at its successes. You cheer those on.

Of course, I’m no baby bird.

2 comments » | General

Long Time, No See

6
December

I’m not dead. I haven’t gone through any of my moderated messages (all 1370 of them) yet, but I’m sure that someone asked if I was okay. The truth is that I don’t know. This past month has been hectic, but I’ve survived, which I guess is a good thing.

Do you remember how I had to go on Inderal to reduce my tremors caused by Lithium? Well, since Inderal is a blood pressure medication and my blood pressure tends to run on the low end of normal, which is a weird thing for a “fat girl”, the Inderal was causing me to feel faint and to almost fall several times a day. I cut down to one pill at night. Well, since I cut that down, the 1200 mg of Lithium started doing a number on my tremors. I couldn’t handle money or anything valuable. I could punch in my PIN number or sign my own name. My mom and I decided that it was time that I lower my Lithium dosage until it’s time for me to go see my psychiatrist. It’s kind of working. I still shake, and now I’m more depressed.

Speaking of being depressed, which is something my Art of Interviewing doesn’t really understand, I’ve spent a lot of time sleeping and not wanting to stop sleeping. I’ve just been trying to avoid reality and pain and stress. It didn’t work, but I feel a little better rested than I have in a while. That doesn’t mean that once I finish this entry that I won’t go get on the couch and go back to sleep. Actually, I can’t go back to sleep today. I have my last final and my last speech to prepare for for tomorrow. Bleh.

I also need to type up a letter saying how bad my Art of Interviewing teacher has been. I have to remember how she had a “strict dress code” that only applied to people who weren’t a part of her clique. I have to remember the extreme favoritism that she showed towards said clique. I have to remember that the woman who said she didn’t cuss anymore used several profane words when yelling at us over a test that a lot of us failed, except members of said clique. I have to remember when she said that being gay was wrong. I have to type up how she wanted verbatim answers when she said she didn’t want them, and then turned around and told us that she wanted us to answer the questions verbatim. I have to remember how she picked on certain students. I have to remember that when she was giving our Chapter 11 test that she hadn’t even read the chapter. I have to remember that she changed Jenny’s and my interview appointment time without telling us. I also have to remember that she said she was too busy to make it up, and then on Friday, I saw her eating candy upstairs with nothing to do. Basically, it’s going to be a long letter. I just don’t know how to put it all together.

The test that most people failed in AoI was one that I got a 36.5, despite studying a lot for it. This leads to the teacher saying that if we failed we didn’t study. Then, I turned around and made an 81 and 82 on the next two tests. I think I got a 100 on the last test we took. I’m not stupid and I am studying. The only big difference between those tests and the ones I failed were that they were basically over 1 chapter at a time, instead of 2-3.

Another school related thing–I got a roommate. She seems nice, but I was quite shocked that she came into my room mid-semester, no past mid-semester. The dorm counselors thought that I would automatically be okay with it. But how can you be okay with something you didn’t know was going to happen so soon? How can you just smile and say that’s great? I’m having to get used to her stuff and her being there. Next semester she’ll have to get used to my being there more, since I’ll be staying over Monday and Wednesday nights.

There has been some happy news. For the first time that I can remember, I bought a present for everyone who regularly spends Christmas with me. I also got gift cards to send to my cousins’ children on Daddy’s side of the family. I hope everyone likes their presents. I’m having a hard time keeping my dad from knowing what he’s getting. He hates for his presents to be spoiled, so I have to bite my lip to keep from telling him.

There is other happy news on the Christmas shopping front. With my Pell Grant refund, I bought lots of stuff for a Salvation Army Angel. Her name is Lexus and she’s 6. Instead of filling the one small bag that the Salvation Army gives to adopters, my family filled 3 of those bags plus 4 pretty large garbage bags. I hope that she’s an only child because if she got a lot of stuff and a sibling didn’t get much, it wouldn’t be fair.

I checked my weight over Thanksgiving and I’d lost another 10 pounds. That means that I’ve lost a grand total of about 30 pounds since the end of September. Only 70 more to go. The weight loss has been pretty evident. I’ve had to retire three pairs of jeans because when I’m in them, they fall off or almost fall off. One of those not only almost fell off, it caused me to trip and fall while walking to class a couple of weeks ago. That wasn’t fun. The only bad part, other than the wet and grassy leg, was that my hip hurt for a few days.

I plan on checking my e-mail after I get my finals done. It’s going to be crazy since I haven’t checked it in a month. Not checking it for a half of a week leads to like 1000 new messages on my main account. Most of them are spam, though. Since I haven’t been on so long, I probably have lost a few of my fanlistings, but I’m not really concerned with that right now. I got on and approved the pending members. That took quite a while.

I need to make a Christmas theme for this site. I wanted to make one for Autumn and Thanksgiving, but I was too busy with school and too depressed. I should probably make a general winter theme as well. I better not start making a list of what themes I need to make because then I’ll end up with like 100 themes to do and I’ll get burnt out.

7 comments » | Alabama A&M, Fanlistings, Friends, Internet, Mental Health, Sickness and Health

Did You Say Meow?

6
November

Well, I went through my makeover, but I can’t really talk about it or show pictures until after Thanksgiving. It had a pretty good reception at school on Friday.

I was going to go Christmas shopping yesterday, but I couldn’t figure out what to get anyone. I’m going to go the day after Thanksgiving with the help of Klonopin. I have already bought one present. I wanted to get everything over before the major rush of shoppers, but it looks like that’s not going to happen.

I’ve decided that I’m going to learn to drive sometime in the next few months. That way I can go visit Nana more often. I would say that I could go on my days off next semester, but that would just be Saturday and Sunday. I think I may have surprised my dad by saying that I need to learn to drive soon.

I had an interesting experience on Wednesday. The President of the Social Work Club got into a fight with a girl with braids and a tattoo. According to “braids”, “President” had slept with her husband. They’d been having a lot of arguments that day, and things were just escalating. Well, it culminated in a fight; 2 fights actually. The fight was between Diverse Populations (we’d gotten out early) and Art of Interviewing, both in the sense of time and where it was happening. The first time it was stopped, “President” went to the Social Work chairperson’s office to cool off. “Braids” was left to pick up her stuff. Well, as she picked up her stuff, she was insulting “President”. “President’s sister” was in the hall and she went after her. Somehow “President” heard and she came out there looking thoroughly pissed. They fought and a chair was thrown. The campus police came and took all 3 girls to their station. There were about 5 people out in the hall when the fight began, probably all Social Work majors, and no one knows who started the fight. I guess the police figured out because I saw “President” in Bibb-Graves Hall on Friday. I thought that “President” probably threw the first punch because of the SW student amnesia. I also thought that both girls would get expelled. I also think that whoever stepped on my toe owes me an apology. You’d think they would notice that they’d stepped on my toe. If they can’t figure that out, then are they going to be able to feel it when they run someone over?

Oh, I had a lovely experience on Tuesday when I went to register for classes. My account had an encumbrance against it. Apparently, my financial aid hadn’t gone through. Well, I went on Thursday and paid off my account before walking up to the Financial Aid office and asking what was going on. My financial aid paperwork had gotten “stuck” while it was being processed. The girl in the office went ahead and approved my Pell Grant and loan, both of which were small considering last year’s income. Of course, just a few minutes ago I looked at my fee and payment information. I’m not going to get my money back. The Pell Grant paid, but they took it away with the “Bal of Financial Aid”. WTF? That means that they’ll do the same thing next semester and I’ll have to pay some more. You know, full rides should literally be full rides. I shouldn’t have to pay, and I shouldn’t have to have my grant and loan money taken away. I need things like new clothes (which I need since I’m falling out of some of mine) and school supplies that I can’t get when they take way my money to balance out my financial aid.

I hate to beg, but can anyone please volunteer to help ask Question of the Day or Daily Debate questions on Celestial? I’d just need people who could ask questions on Monday, Wednesday, or Friday. You wouldn’t have to ask thought-provoking questions. Just ask something interesting. The QotD could be about a lyric from a song, a line from a movie, or a survey-like question. The DD doesn’t have to be what’s going on in the news. It can be something silly or serious. Please help me, guys/girls!

7 comments » | Alabama A&M, Alabama Weirdness, Family, Internet, Message Board, School

     

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