Sticks, Stones, and Unbroken Bones

A lovely opinion by someone identifying as Priscila that I encountered while reading the Buzzfeed story on Project Harpoon:1

Fat people will be like “yeah is my thyrode or my genes”. No sweety, is you not doing excersise or eating your veggies

So much denial here.

EDIT: For starters, when you are fat you are not healty because if you fall your own weight will break a bone that normally wont if you are skinnier.

And my response:

I’ve always been obese and I’ve fallen a lot in my life. None of those falls resulted in a fracture. That’s even with a pretty severe vitamin D deficiency and with connective tissue diseases (Ehlers-Danlos & UCTD) which cause more fragile bones. God, even PCOS, which I also have and was diagnosed by a specialist, can lead to fragile bones, but, big shocker, no fractures while falling for me.
The only breaks I’ve ever had were when I was 13, 14, and 16. That was one stress fracture that just took a long time to heal, which would have been true even if I had grown up at a healthy weight. (People with EDS have a harder time healing from injuries.)
And to the people who bring up the high blood pressure, diabetes, cholesterol, etc. stuff: Yes, obese people can develop those things, but not every obese person does. I have low blood pressure. I have normal blood sugar. I have some cholesterol issues, but I’ve been working on that without medication and it’s been improving. If you saw me, you wouldn’t know that I eat an extremely low sodium diet and only take in, at most, 1500 calories. You wouldn’t know that the only things I drink every day are water (64-96 oz./day) and milk (8 oz./day). You wouldn’t know that I really hate fast food. You wouldn’t know that when I can exercise regularly (I have an ongoing EDS-related knee injury that’s got that sidelined for now) that I walk 2 miles a day (split into a mile or less per session per doctor’s orders) or that when I can’t, I’m still getting in more steps in a day than my more able-bodied friends. And you wouldn’t know that because when you look at me, all you see is the fat. You don’t see the person. So your “concern” over my health or over the health of other people who look like I do really seems fake.

My mom’s obese2 and breaks bones every year, but it isn’t the obesity that causes the breaks. It’s the combination of connective tissue disease and a vitamin d deficiency. My 82-year old grandmother is obese, falls down quite a bit, and doesn’t break bones.345 Being obese and falling doesn’t mean someone is going to break a bone. Weight problems and falling down aren’t uncommon in my family, but fracturing a bone with every fall is.

And guess what?!

Even with the obesity and obesity-related issues, a lot of my relatives have lived until they’re in their 80’s and 90’s. Lifespan isn’t determined by weight alone or with the issues related to it. Maybe the non-experts on the internet should lay off the medical advice.6


  1. Under this comment

  2. Yes, she’s also diabetic, has high blood pressure, has had issues with cholesterol, and has kidney failure, so on that she hit the fat person quadfecta. 

  3. She also doesn’t have issues with her sugar. 

  4. Her blood pressure being high is a relatively new thing. 

  5. I’m not sure about her cholesterol. 

  6. And the experts should know better than to give medical advice without a proper history. 

“one of my friends who’s been involved in OW as a BYU student was just threatened with the “resign or…”

“one of my friends who’s been involved in OW as a BYU student was just threatened with the “resign or else” ultimatum by her old stake president (who will personally reside over the process in a far away city).

Her, and others like her, will likely face excommunication quietly in the eclipse of more notorious individuals like JD and KK.

Normally I’d include some sort of quip here, but this speaks volumes by itself.”

June purge extending to byu students : exmormon
via Tumblr

From My Darkness

(via Instagram) The full rant he made is here.

That’s the summary from this guy’s rant on an open relationship he had his girlfriend agree to so he could have sex with other girls. His gf ended up being the one who was successful with the openness. He was pissed because he didn’t think she was hot enough. Anyway, when I first started reading this, the horrible way he talked about this girl and how she looked triggered a lot of the negative self-talk and memories of abusive remarks.

As I read what happened as a result of his plan, I began to wish that I had read something like this when I was younger. Reading about how his plan backfired on him was something I needed to read & understand a long time ago. You can tell a person a million times that jerks end up “getting theirs” for all their horrible behavior, but until you read it or see it happen, it really doesn’t start kicking in.

On an intellectual level, I understand that the earliest abuse lead to the weight issue and the distrust of people, especially men/authority figures. I understand that I kept my weight high to protect myself at first, and I understand that once the emotional abuse and bullying began that I began to believe that I was already doomed to be alone and miserable. I understand that, as an eight year old, that was a horrible thing to conclude. And I understand how it impacted future actions and choices in my life. I understand how it continues to impact my life. And I always could, on some level, understand that if I knew that anyone else in the world was feeling this way, that I would do whatever I could to stop them from feeling the pain. I would see the continuing of that pain and of that degradation of self as unreasonable and as something that the person needed to stop doing.

On an emotional level, I couldn’t get it. Now I think I’m starting to, though. Now that I see things like this online and like the guys who continue to call me stupid because of my weight, I get it. I get that their shitty attitude toward someone based on their weight or their appearance is on them. If they dehumanize someone, it’s because something is wrong with them, not with the person that they’re abusing. I am really just now starting to understand that if a person thinks that I’m worthless because I happen to be a certain weight that that means that there is something wrong with them, not me. I can’t continue to use their dehumanization to justify my personal self-hatred. I need to get rid of that self-hatred because it is truly ridiculous and it is only making my life more difficult.

It’s not going to be easy to change all of this thinking, but this guy’s ignorant, asshole behavior is inspiring me more than anything I’ve seen or heard in a long time. It’s bad that it took seeing an asshole behaving like an asshole to connect that intellectual level with the emotional level. It should have been enough for me to apply that logic for other people. It should have been enough for me to have friends tell me that those idiots were, just that, idiots or that I was enough. It should have been enough for me to understand that when that guy told me earlier this year that I was hot that I might actually be attractive. And those things did help sometimes. They helped get me through some really difficult times. But somehow this act of douchiness helped a bit more. I don’t know if that makes sense or if it even needs to make sense. I just know that it’s true.

Not only did this post show me that guys like him are assholes, it showed me that hot guys can actually like girls who don’t fit the mold. I know that’s totally superficial, but I’ve believed for around two decades now that there was something fundamentally unlovable about me because of my size and that there was something wrong with me as a person because I happened to weigh too much. To start realizing that that’s not true and that my asshole of a grandfather was so fucking wrong about that is just amazing. It helps a lot. To know that what he did and what happened as a result, the things that have basically defined my life for so long, were so untrue and were things I shouldn’t believe about myself anymore…it’s just…there really is no way to explain how good it is to see that he was wrong.