Dear writers (especially in YA & NA),

Lay off:

  • the slut-shaming
  • the suggestions that women who date or befriend womanizers need protecting
  • the kisses and other acts (including anal, oral, or vaginal sex) that female characters say they don’t want from aggressive male characters
  • the continuing complaints of the male BFF that he wants more than a friendship
  • that same BFF actively trying to sabotage the relationship of his BFF and her boyfriend
  • labeling male characters who participate in these activities as “nice guys”

This kind of stuff perpetuates a culture where women are disrespected, are afraid, and believe that their feelings/boundaries do not matter. That they do not matter. It harms anyone who sees the normalization of this crap. And crap is putting it very nicely.
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An Actual Sex Crime

CBS News had a story on the “leaking” of Snapchat nudes. They brought up Jennifer Lawrence calling her pictures being published a “sex crime”. The last line of the story said that the Snapchat pictures being released would only be “an actual sex crime” if it involved pictures of minors. I don’t know if they were saying that because so many states lack adequate digital privacy laws, or if they feel that unauthorized nude pictures of adults being released is just not that bad. Well, it is bad.

Let’s change the situation from pictures being released to a person outside your bedroom/bathroom window. Instead of having images of you nude on a hard drive, the person is watching you dress, undress, shower, use the toilet, have sex, etc. Laws cover this kind of violation. Laws understand that this kind of voyeurism is a sex crime. So does society.

Well, nude pictures being leaked is the same sort of situation. A person does an act (that is titillating for some) in private, for themselves or another person. They feel safe doing this, so they put themselves in a vulnerable position. If someone takes advantage of them for/while they are doing this, then that is a sex crime.

“An actual sex crime” does not have to involve a person being raped or assaulted. It doesn’t have to be an underage person in a picture to be a crime. It is a crime because it is a violation of someone.

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Review: Beneath This Man

Beneath This Man
Beneath This Man by Jodi Ellen Malpas
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

What. Did. I. Just. Read?

This book was not good. No, that’s an understatement. This book was very bad. It wasn’t the absolute worst book I’ve ever read, but it’s pretty high up on the list of sucktastic books. There is a lot about this series that I just hate. I was hoping this book would be better than the first, but it really wasn’t. The quality of writing was a bit better, but the story quality is still crap.

Ava needs to get new friends. Seriously. This is a woman whose best friend is totally cool with a guy stalking her, forcing her to move in with him, and being an abusive and manipulative jerk. Kate knows that Jesse treats Ava horribly, but she’s basically cheering him on with the abuse, stalking, and manipulation. I don’t know why Kate hates Ava so much, but it is very clear that she does.

Jesse blames his “not an alcoholic” behavior on Ava. She drives him to drink. Her leaving him drives him to spend four days downing shot after shot of vodka, so that’s her fault. His sex with other women during that time period is also his fault. He’s never felt like drinking so much in his life, but being with her makes him want to drink. He tells her this. His friends basically tell her this, too. This is not okay. He can’t take responsibility for his self-destructive behavior, so he puts it on her. And she seems to be okay with taking the blame. It sort of makes sense, since she’s also the one who is responsible for his forcible and coercive sexual actions on her. This kind of thinking is so horrifying that I just wanted to scream as I read it. That’s probably why it took seven days to read this book. It isn’t a hard read style-wise, it just sends the kind of message that victims of domestic violence and rape are responsible for the abuse that they face. You know, the despicable kind of thinking that we should be way past in the twenty-first century.

Remember when I said the writing quality was a bit better than it was in the first book? That’s true, but the writing quality is still pretty bad. There was a lot of repetitiveness. If you say that a character is dressed smartly in the first part of a paragraph, you don’t have to say it again two or three sentences later. The same goes for talking about a character being in tight white boxers. It doesn’t need to be repeated right away. The brand dropping was also pretty common in this book, which was very annoying. I get that she wanted to convey that Jesse lives a rather luxurious lifestyle, but mentioning all the brands was just so tacky. And the high fashion that was mentioned didn’t sound very fashionable. It definitely didn’t sound like the brands that were being described.

The whole book was a serious disappointment. Between the tacky writing, the god-awful story, and the heavy use of tropes, the book was just not worth reading. Unless you were really into the first book, I really wouldn’t recommend tackling this book. The only reason that I’m going to read the last book in the series is that I want to find out what things this group of social weirdos is going to do next. I’m guessing whatever they do, it will be horrible.

View all my reviews

Social Media is So Anti-Social

Social Media is So Anti-Social:

I’m 30 years old and I have been using computers since I was a toddler. I’ve been using the internet since elementary school. I designed my first website when I was about 13 or 14. I also ran an online zine on AOL at that same time. I’ve had my own domain where I host my personal blog for 13 years now. You could call me a geek or a nerd and I would be totally okay with that. What you should never call me is a whore or a slut. You shouldn’t threaten me with rape or murder. You shouldn’t say that I deserve a lobotomy or I look like a man or that I’m fat or ugly. You shouldn’t say this sort of stuff to anyone, anywhere. Ever.

Shortly before I turned thirty, I made the mistake of responding to a snarky comment from a Twitter user. This user had responded with “BWAHAHA A Woman made the hashtag” over my friend calling out people who were making rude remarks on the hashtag #FlukeForCongressCampaignSlogans. I asked him, “Is that supposed to make the hashtag any less offensive?” He responded with, “Haha! I bet you’ve never needed BC. #HumanManatee” I’ve been made fun of for years over my weight. It’s a sore subject for me, but I didn’t want this stranger to know that. I didn’t want him to know that I cared what he or anyone else thought about how I looked, so I fired back, “You think you’re original, but you really aren’t. And I have been on birth control off and on since middle school.” I probably should have either ignored the first remark or left out the part about taking birth control in middle school, but I didn’t. I never stood up for myself as a kid when people would say cruel things about me due to my weight, so I felt good about standing up for myself with this internet bully. And I’ve never been ashamed of the fact that I had to take birth control pills when I was in middle school (or high school or college) because there’s nothing shameful about them. A little packet of pills had never defined me before, but when I used them to respond to this guy, they did. 

I was inundated with responses from him and from several of his followers who were egging him on. He accused me of trading anal sex for Big Macs. One of his friends used my then-profile picture to make some meme images that said that my face was birth control. A few of the people, including the original troll, said that I didn’t look like a woman because they couldn’t tell if I had breasts. I was called “Honey Boo Boo” in fifteen years. There were other comments that I can’t even remember right off. All I remember is that it went from this one guy insulting me to a group of five or six people insulting me dozens of times in less than fifteen minutes.

I reported every single abusive tweet to Twitter that night. I blocked each of the people. I quit engaging with people online for about two months. I also began self-injuring regularly again. I felt suicidal a few times. And I waited to find out if Twitter was actually going to do anything about it.

They didn’t.

The first response was about a month after it happened. They decided the #HumanManatee comment wasn’t worthy of being considered abusive. I’m not exactly sure how that isn’t considered abusive and I tried to get them to explain it to me, but there really was not explanation.

The next response was another month later. It was the larger decision, about the rest of the tweets and the users who made them. Twitter decided none of these users were abusive.

I was dumbfounded. How was this not abuse? How was it okay to say these things? I know that sometimes when you’re interacting with someone you disagree with that you might get snarky or downright mean, but, in all my years online, I’d never seen it get this bad, this quick, and I’d never seen a service basically say there was nothing they could do. Twitter told me that I was basically going to have to both block this guy and keep up with whether or not he made any more attempts to harass me.

He didn’t.

Instead, he picked on other people. He picked on enough people that he had his primary account permanently suspended. That occurred after he repeatedly used Islamophobic slurs. His secondary account had some temporary suspensions levied on it, but it still exists. His tertiary account also still exists. He’s had other people report him, yet these accounts still exist. I’ve had people contact me off of Twitter to tell me that this particular person has made comments to them like he made to me, yet these accounts still exist. I’ve seen people complain about reporting him or friends of his for sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, and otherwise discriminatory language, yet these abusive accounts still exist.

A few hours ago, he insulted not one, but two of my friends. He said that he would never have sex with one because he didn’t have sex with animals. He made rape threats to another. The first friend is considering not using Twitter again. The second is trying to figure out why Twitter decided to give her a temporary ban for the argument, when they aren’t doing a thing about to the account of the guy who threatened her.

It’s not just Twitter and it’s not just this guy. Threats and abuse are levied at people every single day online. Some sites will do something about it, but social media sites, in my experience, just say, “Well, don’t pay attention to them and they’ll go away.” Sometimes they do go away, but usually, they’re only going away because they’ve found fresh meat. They only go away so that they can torment someone else. And when social media websites do absolutely nothing or next-to-nothing, it makes the sites complicit in the abuse. Banning one account or temporarily suspending one account for harassment or abuse doesn’t do anything. It doesn’t send any kind of message, except for the message that it is okay to abuse other people.

No one should have to avoid their mentions for fear of being told they’re ugly or deserve to be raped or stupid or an abomination or any of the other horrifying things that greet people when they’re checking their accounts. If a website like Twitter has an abuse policy, then it should be willing to enforce it. And it shouldn’t take months to do so. Months isn’t good enough. Weeks isn’t good enough. The way things are being done isn’t good enough. We all deserve so much better.

This also happened today. My Feministing post got posted. *happy dance*

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10 Myths Anti-Feminists Have About Feminists

Previously published on Thought Catalog


Before Janet Bloomfield even launched into the meat of her diatribe on the lies feminists tell, she decided to tear down all feminists. If a woman is a feminist, she is an “unattractive, angry woman who blames all her problems on men. She is single, bitter and spends most of her time showering other women with contempt for not making the ‘correct’ feminist choices, whatever those happen to be. She is loud, screechy and deeply unhappy.” While she acknowledges that this is a stereotype, she seems to have no issue with promoting it. She even justifies it, which makes sense. People who promote intolerance often justify that intolerance in some way. And she uses this intolerant view to promote five lies that she thinks feminists tell. And when she says this, she makes sure to use hyperbolic language to promote her own feelings of intolerance. The problem with this is that she is using her own feelings of anti-feminism to promote ignorance and not promote actual facts. Let’s take a look at what she and many like her get wrong.


MYTH: Trigger warnings are a feminist thing that turns women into children. They are illogical and only exist for women.

FACT: Though many feminists talk about trigger warnings, the warnings exist outside of feminism. Triggers are words or actions that lead to a trauma victim having flashbacks. These flashbacks happen not only to women, but to men and to transgendered persons. They don’t just happen with victims of rape and domestic violence, but to people who have gone to war, been in car accidents, women who had a difficult delivery, or been in any other traumatic situation.

Though they have only recently become a part of everyday language, flashbacks, trauma triggers, and PTSD have been discussed throughout history. By the end of the first World War, the British army had dealt with 80,000 cases of a condition that is now best-known as ‘shell shock’. These men would have unrelenting anxiety, tics, and nightmares. Despite the fact that it was the cause of 1/7th of the disability discharges in the British Army. Though these men had killed other men, while fighting for their country, they were labeled as cowards or weak. (If they deserted, like some did, they could face execution.) When people like Janet Bloomfield suggest that feminists who support trigger warnings want to turn grown women into children, she is doing the same thing to them that people did to men returning from war almost a hundred years ago. Having PTSD is not something that makes a person childish or weak or a coward. It is not something that people should be mocked for having. In fact, it’s sometimes summarized as a “normal reaction to abnormal events”. Asking for people to respect your limits is not a childish thing. It is an establishment of a boundary, something that is very difficult for persons with PTSD.


MYTH: Simply stating that there is something triggering could trigger.

FACT: For some, yes. For some, no. Some people do get triggered by the warnings themselves. Some don’t. Some are triggered by graphic descriptions. Some are triggered by seeing a simulation of the trauma they endured. Each person’s triggers are different, but that doesn’t mean that we have to stop respecting them by doing away with the warnings.


MYTH: Feminists view people who can’t deal with being triggered are “pathetic simpletons” who are “incapable of controlling their emotional reactions or confronting the slightest bit of adversity or conflict”. They see women as being emotionally fragile.

FACT: No. Having a mental health issue does not make a person weak or fragile. Trigger warnings for people PTSD are like allergy warnings for people with food allergies. If you don’t call a person who is allergic to peanuts “weak” because a chocolate company puts a warning that a product that doesn’t have peanuts was manufactured in the same factory as food that does have peanuts in it, then you shouldn’t call a PTSD patient’s trigger warnings a weakness. They are just a warning that there is the possibility that if you look or listen to a particular thing that there is a possibility that your illness will be triggered.

If you look at people who openly discuss their triggers as being fragile or being weak, then that really says more about you and your intolerance than it does about the person being triggered.


MYTH: Feminists who talk about “victim-blaming” don’t view women as smart, rational or aware.

FACT: Feminists do view women as smart, rational, and aware. They also know that the blame for a rape lies on the rapist.

A rape victim can be dressed provocatively or like a slob. A rape victim can be drunk or sober. A rape victim can be pretty or ugly. A rape victim can be drugged or they can be asleep or they can be awake. A rape victim can be raped by a stranger or by someone that they know. A rape victim can be a baby or a small child or an older child or a teenager or a young adult or middle aged or elderly.  A rape victim could be armed and still be raped. A rape victim could know self-defense and still be raped.

A rape victim could drink water from a bottle they’ve brought from home that has never been opened. This bottle might never leave their sight. They could still be raped.

The only thing that is true for all rapes is that they were committed by a rapist.

And the reason that victim-blaming is often brought up is that there are people who continue to blame any and every rape victim for their rape. For example, when Austin Clem received a suspended sentence for his conviction of the rape of his neighbor from the time she was thirteen until she was eighteen, someone commented that it was an affair, saying, “At what point does one take responsibility to report her rapist?”

In another local rape case, where a teacher at Vina High School was accused of raping a student, there were comments like this on the local news’ Facebook page:

“yes she is young but she knew what she was doin I am sure tgat [sic] wasn’t her first fling just saying”

Meaning: She might be 17, but she’s probably had sex before and that makes this okay.

“It was definitely wrong on his part, but I hope the girl is punished in some form, because at 17, she consented and now the man’s career is probably over, and it’s not right for her to walk away from it free and clear and with no consequences.”

Meaning: He did the wrong thing by having sex with her. She did the wrong thing by allowing him to have sex with her. She’s not only responsible for her actions, but for his as well, and she should be punished for poor decision-making by man who was twice her age.

“It seems unfair that she can ruin him for life while she carries on with hers as if she didn’t have anything at all to do with it.”

Meaning: Whether this is rape or sex, she doesn’t have to live with what happened at all. It’s not like research has shown that boys and girls who have been raped or been “in relationships” with their teachers have long-lasting psychological problems.

“these days 17 looks alot [sic] older and more filled out must be the water”

Meaning: She has boobs, so it’s totally okay to rape her.

There were two other teachers (one male and one female) accused of rape at that school. As far as I know, only one of the three has been convicted of rape. Guess which one that was.

MYTH: “Women are so easily intimidated by the most soft-spoken and accommodating of men that even when they say yes and consent to sexual activity, it is up to the man to read the depths of her mind to make sure she is not in fact being coerced into activities she doesn’t want.”

FACT: Some are easily intimidated. Some are not. This can go back to things an individual experiences in their life. Rapes can be perpetrated by a person who is soft-spoken or who seems accommodating. Coercion can happen if a victim thinks that the rapist holds any power over her. The rapist could be the boss of the victim. The rapist could be the owner of the place the victim lives. The rapist could be a teacher. These are cases where if there is an implied position of power, the choice of the victim can be called into question. If a rape victim (regardless of gender) feels that a rapist (regardless of gender) could harm the victim’s life in anyway by resisting, then sex with the victim would be considered a case of coercive sex or dubious consent.


MYTH: Feminists hate when women choose to marry, have a family, and stay home with that family.

FACT: Feminists believe that if a woman chooses to marry, have a family, and stay home with that family, then she can do that. We believe that men and women should have the ability to choose whether or not they want to do things like go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, etc. As long as it is that person’s choice, then it’s okay. The thing that feminists don’t like is when that the choice can be taken away from a person by their biological family or by their partner.

I don’t actually remember learning at a young age that earning money would give me satisfaction or self-fulfillment. I was raised by two parents who identify as feminists, but I was also raised within a highly conservative religious movement (LDS) in a highly conservative state (Alabama). The culture I grew up in taught me that women are not as smart or capable as men.

As for how people actually feel on opting out or in, in a 2010 survey said that 75% Americans believe “a working mother can establish just as warm and secure a relationship as a mother who does not work” and that 40% of mothers are their family’s sole breadwinner. There’s research that shows that the number of men becoming the primary caregiver and stay-at-home-parent is going up. Of the women interviewed for the book Opting Out? Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home, 60% of the women that Pamela Stone interviewed who had quit their jobs had gone back to work. In a survey by economist Sylvia Ann Hewlett, 89% of the women who opted out of working decided that they wanted to go back to work, but only 73% succeeded in getting any job and only 40% got full-time work.


MYTH: Feminists want you to have lots of sex, which is bad because it won’t actually liberate or empower you.

FACT: Feminists believe in having sex if the parties involved are consenting. If you only have sex with one person in your life, that’s cool. If you have sex with hundreds of people, that’s cool. If you have no sex ever, that’s cool, too. The big thing is that the sex is consensual and that you don’t judge people for their sex lives.


MYTH: Lack of intimacy in sex denies people the opportunity to pair bond.

FACT: Pair bonding is not solely a sexual activity. Pair bonding can be achieved in other social relationships. Social pair bonds exist with relatives and friends. While sexual pair bonds are natural and important, they are not the only way that a person can pair bond. A cultural concept based upon the idea that we need sexual pair bonds is just that: cultural. The main purpose for the intimate and monogamous relationships that JB talked about is to legitimize reproduction.

((The myth for this part seems to have disappeared. Her claim was that disappointing sex was the reason that women falsely report rape.)) If disappointing or unfulfilling sex were the real driving force behind rape complaints by women, then the rate would be higher. When 13,000 women were interviewed for a study published in American Sociological Review in 2012, 69% of the women reported having at least one “hookup” by their senior year of college and, in that same timespan, 74% had been in at least one relationship that last six months or longer. Only 39% of the hookups involved vaginal intercourse and only 11% of first-time hookups involved an orgasm for the woman. That got as high as 16% in second- or third-time hookups with that person. In relationships, the rate of orgasm is higher, at 67%. Now, the lack of an orgasm while hooking up with someone could be seen as disappointing or unfulfilling sex, which means that 89% of the first-time hookups might be considered rape. My math may be off, but that means that of the 8,970 women who had a hookup in college, 61% could (by your definition of rape on college campuses) report that a sexual assault had happened. The rate that feminists use is between 20% and 25%. That definition would make the rate 3 times higher than any feminist has argued it is. The 1-in-4 or 1-in-5 claim that feminists have takes into account the 48.8% of women who don’t consider their assaults to be rape and 60% of rapes that go unreported.


MYTH: Feminism Hates Men, Masculinity, etc. Feminism causes gender role issues.

FACT: Feminism doesn’t hate men. Feminism does challenge the patriarchy, which holds both men and women back. Hatred of the patriarchy is hatred of system that gives power to people who have always had the power and continues to deny it to people who have never had it. It is the same system that leads to impoverished people remaining impoverished all their lives. It is the same system that imprisons and harshly punishes minorities while giving whites lesser punishments. It is why the rate of minorities being executed is higher than that of whites. It is the status quo. It is a system that needs to be changed.

Feminists also don’t hate masculinity. Feminists hate the idea of rigid gender roles. Boys who want to play with dolls should be able to and girls who want to play with toy cars should be given that opportunity. It will not harm society to allow kids to grow up feeling comfortable with the things that they like rather than being shamed for an unwillingness to conform. Feminists want people to be able to be themselves and achieve at the things that they can do and want to do, not the things that they are expected to do.


MYTH: Feminism is responsible for ADD diagnosis and over-medicating of kids.

FACT: There are three different types of ADD and ADHD. The type that most are diagnosed with is the combined hyperactive-impulsive and inattentive type. The type that goes undiagnosed most is the predominantly inattentive type. The other type is the predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type.

While studies have shown that more children are being diagnosed with ADD before and that boys are 4 times more likely to be diagnosed with it, no cause has been shown for that increase. Research has shown that by adulthood, women are as likely as men to have the disorder. This means that girls and women may be going undiagnosed because their symptoms are different. Now there are also issues of boys and girls being diagnosed with the disorder when they have a different mental health issue, with some doctors thinking a bipolar child must have the disorder because mania can closely resemble hyperactivity and impulsivity. With regard to the misdiagnosis issue, doctors and parents need to be more vigilant about making sure that these children actually have the disorder before giving them any medication. (Treating children with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia using amphetamines can cause problems later on.) Diagnosing people with this particular disorder is not the same as hating them, though. ADD medicine can actually help a child who has ADD function better. It can help them to learn.

On a personal note, I got diagnosed with ADD when I was in my first year of college because I was one of those quiet, abstract thinking kids. I excelled in school despite the fact that I spent almost every moment daydreaming. I couldn’t tell a person what had been going on in a class that I just left, but I could do the work and I could test well. It was easy for everyone to look the other way. Most of the people I knew who had ADD growing up were girls; I knew a lot because my mom used to chaperone almost every field trip and teachers liked to put the ADD kids in her group. (They even got other teachers to send their disruptive kids to my mom’s group.) There were boys in the groups and they did act up, but their actions were no more disruptive than those of the girls.


There are other myths that anti-feminists like JB like to focus on, like that women believe that all men are rapists. That’s not true. Feminists believe that the majority of rapes are committed by men because statistics have shown this to be true. Feminists also don’t believe that only women get raped. Feminists understand that all people can be rapists and all people can be victims, but that isn’t the same thing as believing that all people are rapists or that all people are victims. Feminists also don’t believe that men’s issues don’t exist, but we do believe that feminism is not the cause of those issues.

It’s time that people stop blaming feminists for all the world’s problems and start actually working toward ending the problems.

See, I can use hyperbolic language, too.

okcgoldmine vs creepshots

okcgoldmine vs creepshots:



A comparison of two tumblr blogs: creepshots and okcgoldmine.

—okcgoldmine: re-posts photos of men; photos were taken with men’s permission and posted personally by the men on a public web page
—creepshots: posts photos of women taken without the women’s knowledge or consent.

—okcgoldmine: has no ads
—creepshots: has ads

—okcgoldmine: uses tags that come directly from the words written by the men and posted by them at okcupid. Examples: jack of all trades, devil’s advocate, men’s rights, everything but rap.
—creepshots: typical tags are: upskirt, phat, booty, hungryass, boobs.

—okcgoldmine: sometimes adds humorous text, such as “Boy you must be the sun because you need to stay 93 million miles away from me.” But most posts have text written by the men themselves and posted by them on a public web page. (x)
—creepshots: adds text such as “I caught these two mamacitas suntanning with their asses out while enjoying a Carribean cruise in Dec. 2009. They were totally asleep and unaware of my camera work. They may possibly be the hottest daughter-mother pair I’ve ever seen in one shot.” I would have to agree. I don’t think I can easily choose who has the better ass. Very nice creep work.—creepshots editor (x)

—okcgoldmine: taken down by tumblr in May, 2013
—creepshots: just fine with tumblr. jfc it’s all in fun u need to get a sense of humor.

reblogging because 7 months later creepshots on tumblr is still up and okcgoldmine is still down. summary:

poking fun at men: TUMBLR TAKES DOWN YOUR BLOG

posting photos of women without their consent and calling them sluts: THAT’S OK WITH TUMBLR

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TW: Rape; Sexual Assault – Why does Rape Happen?


One of my followers (I am assuming you follow me) asked me: “Why does rape happen?” Considering that I am passionate about the topic and I am pretty knowledgeable in regards to the topic, I thought maybe instead of just giving a very basic answer, I could explain it. Firstly, I would like to say that’s an EXTREMELY loaded question, so I am going to throw the thesis out there for people who don’t want to read a long post:

Rape Happens because people have a false sense of entitlement, and/or insecurities thus causing them to attempt to overpower another person.

Now onto explaining that thesis… Firstly before we even get into rape we have to announce what rape is, according to Pandora’s Project:

The exact definition of “rape” differs from state-to-state within the U.S. and by country internationally.  In the US, it is often called “criminal sexual conduct in the first degree”.  Generally, rape is defined as sexual contact or penetration achieved:

  • without consent, or
  • with use of physical force, coercion, deception, threat, and/or
  • when the victim is:
  • mentally incapacitated or impaired,
  • physically impaired (due to voluntary or involuntary alcohol or drug consumption)
  • asleep or unconscious.

Next we have to go into the different TYPES of rape. According to Nicholas Groth‘s theory, there are three different types of rapes/rapist (It is argued that there are more, but for simplicity lets focus on his theory). These different rapes are classified as the: Anger Rapist, the Sadistic Rapist, and the Power rapist.


Anger Rapist –  Expressing and Discharging Feelings of Pent-up Anger and Rage

This rapist rapes because he is angry, long story short. His rape is more likely to use physical aggression, and/or brutality. This man on average may not be an opportunist, and target the woman who is unconscious or use drugs to get to his victim (not to say this couldn’t and hasn’t happen).  This type of victim want to get his aggression out, and would be the guy who would violently attack his victim and would WANT to overpower her, with the end goal of penetrating her. It is not about sex to these men, it is about taking his anger out on someone, and using sex as a weapon.

Sadistic Rapist – Fusion of Sexuality and Aggression

This rapist might as well be the scariest in my opinion, mostly because this rapist finds sexual gratification in hurting his victims. This rapist is like the anger rapist, except worst.The Sadistic Rapist finds some kind of sexual thrill in tormenting their victims, they want to see your distress, they want to see your suffering, they get off to see you in pain. They have some how turned someone’s suffering into a fetish, and they rape because they are turned on by doing so.  According to Groth “The sadistic rapist is often believed to be blatantly psychotic, but these men are usually able to conceal these impulses from others. One of the disconcerting features of such offenders is that they are often quite personable—a quality they capitalize on to gain access to unsuspecting victims.”

Power Rapist – Sexual Conquest

Statistically, these are the most common type of rapist that you’ll come across (from what I understand). These rapist rape because they are insecure, to over compensate for whatever they are lacking. According to Groth “The offender may say that his offense was prompted by sexual gratification, but examination of his behavior shows that he didn’t pay any attention to the woman’s receptiveness. Instead, his aim is to capture, conquer and control his victim. Consensual sex is available; this is not consensual sex.” I think on average we hear about these guys more so. These men are the men drug women, or wait for the woman who is under the influence and they RAPE her when she CANNOT consent (just one common example).

Now that we understand what rape is, and the three major types of rapist, I should note that it’s not just women who get raped. Everyone can be a victim of a rape or a sexual assault, however women and children on average are more likely to be targeted. If you are a woman of color, you are even more so likely to be a victim of rape. But why is that? Why is it that women, children, and women of color are more likely to be targeted? Honestly, this is just my theory but I think it has something to do with being a minority. Realistically Women, Children, and Women of Color are minority powers (Western Focus argument). These groups of people have been oppressed historically (for far too long), and due to that oppression are seen as powerless. I think it’s safe to say very few rapist rape because they want to get into legal trouble, so why not go for the victim who is least likely to get justice?

Rape a women? Say she wanted it, flip the story back on her, make it seem like she wanted it (you). I think it’s fairly well known we have a terrible legal system in America, what are the chances of a female getting justice? How can she prove it? Very few women ever collect enough evidence to convince the legal system she was raped anyway. For children, just scare them. Tell them they’ll get in trouble, make them feel like they are in danger, remind them of how helpless and powerless they are. If you aim for a child young enough, they may never be able to find the word to articulate what happened (much less have enough bravery to do so). Now if you aim for a Woman of Color, you can take the woman argument and then add onto it. When you are “Colored” there are so many more factors that come into play, at least in my opinion. The legal system might care less about you considering your skin color, if you rapist was a white male on average he is more likely to get away with it (Click HERE for an article in regards to that), and rape/sexual assault does happen within POC families.. Now families tend to keep their dirt hidden under rugs, so normally the issues stay within the families.

So now we understand what rape is, why it happens, and who are the victims of it… In short, I think rape happens because people don’t value human life, because people don’t consider minority powers human, because some people out there are just really mean, some people out there use sex as a weapon to make their egos feel better. If you guys have anymore questions feel free to message me. If I explained something terribly, tell me. If you have any questions about sources, ask me! I hope this answered my follower’s question.


1. Pandora’s Project: What is Rape

2. Power, Anger and Sadistic Rape Information from Men Who Rape by Nicholas Groth

3. The Center for Women and Families of Eastern Fairfield County, Inc. | Statistics on Sexual Assault

4. Who are the Victims? | RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network

5. TW: Rape; Racism; Sexual Assault – Why My Rapist’s Race is Relevant

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