NSFW


“I wanted to put a reference to masturbation in one of the scripts for the Sandman. It was immediately cut by the editor. She told me, “There’s no masturbation in the DC Universe.” To which my reaction was, “Well that explains a lot about the DC Universe.”” – Neil Gaiman (via worldwarlove) via Tumblr

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I like Zayn.1 I hate his “Pillow Talk” video & don’t really like the song. He looks bored and the video is just 100% tacky.2 Who thought it was a good idea to put flowers over her genitals and hearts3 on her nipples?456789 Whoever it was should be fired.10 And the random lesbian scenes, what’s that about? There are people who had LSD trips that weren’t as bizarre as this video.11 This was the music video equivalent of a MySpace profile with glitter graphics and auto-play songs. It’s just…a tacky vomitfest.      It’s obvious that he’s trying to prove he’s not just Zayn Malik of One Direction, but I feel like he’s trying too hard. The video looks like it was supposed to be artistic, but it was just kaleidoscopic, over saturated, exclusion/difference layer12 obsession weirdness.  Gigi Hadid is gorgeous, though.  No judging. ↩I’m being nice here. ↩These reminded me of some holographic heart stickers my mom used to order from Oriental Trading Company. I would stick them on my Valentines. ↩No, really. ↩  ↩ ↩    ↩   ↩I. TOLD. YOU. SO. ↩A floral pillowcase should cover their bosoms to mark them for this unforgivable sin. ↩I am still being kind here. ↩Actual Photoshop thing. ↩

Review: “Pillow Talk”



On Thursday night, I received a message on OkCupid from a guy that I’ll call S. He was interested in pursuing a friends with benefits relationship, which I told him (on there) that I would need to be friends with him first. He said okay and we started talking on Kik. There were dick pics that were sent to me and I became a bit annoyed by them and by him. This is the conversation, without pictures, without his name, with the typos/grammatical/spelling errors intact, and with generalized locations, that we had.1 The only real difference is that I’ve included snarky commentary and admitted to mistakes I made in the conversation. Because of the nature of the discussion, if you don’t feel like you can handle certain overly sexual content, then don’t go further. S: Hi Me: Hi. S: My name is S Me: Hey, S. I’m Janet. S: Very nice to meet you!!! 🙂 Me: Nice to meet you, too. S: So tell me a little about u. S: Do u have a pic [S sent a picture of his face with this remark.] Me: [with a picture of my face] I write. I’m on disability for some health stuff. S: I’m sorry I hope ur ok S: Do u want to share S: Any more pics? [S sent another picture of his face with this comment. I responded with a picture of me from when I was out on a walk.] S: Your very pretty. Me: Thank you. You’re attractive, too. S: You think so? Me: Yeah. You’ve got a great smile. S: Thsnk u so much!! [S sent another picture of his face.] S: You have any more pics Me: You’re very welcome. [Another picture of my face.] S: Nice. Do u live in Huntsville Me: Yeah. You? S: Yep I live off of —–. You? Me: Off —–. S: —–. Is that south parkway S: Down by —– Me: Yeah. S: I do cable so that is my area Me: Cool S: Yep it’s a fun job S: So tell me about u Me: It’s always good to have a job you enjoy. Me: There’s not much to know. S: We’ll me. I’m looking for a fwb for long term. I’m only looking for only 1 woman to do this Me: Okay. How long term? S: As long as you want to see me. Totally up to you 🙂 Would I be interested S: Would u be interested? S: I’m picking u 🙂 Me: I might be. I may need to think about it. S: Have u ever had a fwb Me: No. I did have NSA sex with a guy once, but it was just the once. S: Ahh see this would be ongoing. Plus we would be friends. Do u want to see a cock pic to see what ur getting? S: About 5 times a week2 if u want S: I have a high sex drive [Unsolicited dick pic.] Me: It sounds like you do. I’ve only had the one sexual experience so that’s a lot of sex. Also I have chronic pain and fatigue issues, so I don’t know if I could handle that much sex. S: We’ll some days we can just do oral on each other because of ur health S: Do u like the pic? Me: Yeah. It’s a nice pic.3 S: Is it too big4 or a good size for u Me: It’s a good size.5 S: So what sexual things us like and don’t like [Another dick pic.] Me: I like oral, intercourse, anal. I like being fingered.6 S: I love anal too. Do u like cum? Swallow and or facials. Me: I swallow. I might be okay with facials. I’m not really sure.7 S: Janet I pick u!!! I have been looking for a woman that does all of that!!! S: So what do u think Janet. S: Do u like condoms or no Me: I’m still not sure how I feel. I prefer condoms.8 S: I’m ddf as we’ll and I got tested two months ago. I’m very clean. What can I do to help u decide?? S: I promise every time we are together you will have an orgasm when I go down on u S: I’ll eat ur pussy every time. U will cum before I will Me: I’m glad you’re clean, but I’m not on birth control, thus the condom preference. Just give me a couple of days. Is that okay? It’s a major decision. S: I can’t have kids.9 🙂 Besides every time I cum I would like for u to swallow ok S: It is a major decision. I really want u as my fwb Janet S: 🙂 S: Do u like kissing and making out S: Any questions u have for me Me: I’ve never actually made out with anyone.10 Me: I don’t think I have any right now.11 S: Really never. I love to kiss. It’s long and passionate. It’s more then just a fuck. It’s love making. U ok with that Me: Yeah. Never. My first kiss came all of two minutes before a guy went down on me. S: That’s awful. I’ll make sure we will make out S: I love pussy juice!!!!12 😀 I meant what I said. Every time we get together I’ll go down and I’ll eat u until u cum. Then I’ll keep going until u come again and agony13 S: And again S: Deal??? Me: If I say yes14 S: Yes if u say yes. I hope u do. And best part no condoms too 😀 S: Any more pics Me: Not right now. S: So no condoms then?15 S: So what music u like Me: I like most music. S: Me too but not rap. Me: I started getting into rap in college. S: What college Me: At that point, I was at A&M S: I went to Alabama. Am tough school S: What is ur major Me: At that […]

Oh, The Dudes You’ll Talk To


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Ketchup? Mustard? The blood of my enemies? via Tumblr You don’t even know my name but you’re going to ask me if I squirt?! Oh, hell no. If I thought that the guy asking about rough sex was being forward1 after 3 minutes, he had nothing on this guy. This was the first thing he said to me. And my first reaction to it? Block this dude. Well, okay, I took the capture of it first.2 How does anyone sit there and think that this sort of question is appropriate? Sure, if you’ve established some sort of actual relationship or an agreement to have sex, maybe you ask this. But this kind of question is not okay to ask anyone right off the bat. And he was. ↩Because I wanted to say the “Ketchup? Mustard? The blood of my enemies?” about his question, but didn’t want to say anything to him. Ever. ↩

Ketchup? Mustard? The blood of my enemies?



Dear Santa, I’ve been a really good girl this year. I know that it would give the GOP $20.16, but I really want sessariehtpuskcitso.gop for Christmas this year. Actually, I’d like it by the time Bastille Day happens, so if you could get it for me by then, I’d be a happy liberal. I’ll make you cookies, if you’d like. I’ll even put extra butter in them. via Tumblr

Letter to Santa: sessariehtpuskcitso.gop







[001-004] April O’Neil [005-007] Douglas Booth [008-009] Rita Ora [010-010] Shailene Woodley [011-011] Theo James [012-015] Kate Winslet [016-018] Divergent cast members [019-023] Lea Michele [024-024] Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan [025-025] Chris Evans and Cobie Smulders [026-030] Chris Evans Rules None are bases, unless stated. No hotlinking Credit if you use; comments are appreciated. Legit concrit is awesome, too, but bashing/excessive snarkiness isn’t wanted. Please do not repost my graphics on other websites without asking for my permission. (This includes tumblr and fanpop.)

Icons: Multiple Celebrities (30)