LGBTQ


Having grown up in Alabama, I understand that bigots will go to extraordinary lengths to justify their rage and their hate. When I have supported groups like Black Lives Matter, I have been accused of only having sex with black men. When I supported marriage equality, I was labeled a lesbian. So I guess that it makes sense that my support of rights for transgender/non-binary people means that, drumroll please, I am a man. No, you didn’t read that wrong. In the middle of the night last night, a stranger accused me of having male privilege. I cackled as I read it. Who knew that I’m a dude?! I would have expected my parents or my gynecologists over the years to have told me if I was a dude. I’m especially disappointed that the gynecologist who performed the hysteroscopy/uterine biopsy and D&C didn’t say, “Uh. This procedure can’t be performed on you.” My family and doctors didn’t call me a dude because… I’m not one. Whether you subscribe to trans-exclusionary feminism’s1 reductive view of gender as being based on body parts or the inclusive view I subscribe to that admits gender & sex are not one in the same, this conclusion that I have male privilege makes no sense. I don’t have the body parts of a dude. I don’t feel I am a dude. Therefore: A dude I am not. In case you can’t speak Yoda, let’s try the standard English: I’m not a dude/man/guy/boy/male. I doubt I can put it any more clearly than that, but I’m sure that that won’t satisfy some of these individuals. Calling me a guy because I disagree with what you feel a woman should believe is as hysterical as it is sad. But it’s not the first time that a TERF has gone this route. I would bet that if any woman spends any length of time debating them or disagreeing with them that TERFs would start questioning their biological sex. Or if they don’t question the sex of the person, they start saying that she is somehow incapable of thinking for herself and that men must have brainwashed her. The internalized misogyny is strong with TERFs. How are they “liberating” women2 by denigrating women that don’t agree with them and suggesting that they are somehow unable to use their cognitive processes to come to their own opinions? It’s almost like their own version of a savior complex. They feel the need to “rescue” the poor little women who disagree with them from making informed decisions about their own lives and making conclusions about the things that they believe based on their own experiences. That’s not liberation. That’s oppression. You can’t replace one form of oppressive system with another. That just doesn’t work. Or, more correctly, it doesn’t actually liberate anyone. Also, misrepresenting what people say so that you can perpetuate hatred and encourage a pile-on is not the action of those intent on liberating. The original angst fest by this “liberation” force began after I defended a male friend on Twitter after a female follower of mine said something about him being harmful because he uses the term TERF to describe people who are, well, TERFs. This was the tweet that was being responded to: It’s becoming blatantly obvious where the adage “separate the artist from the art” came from, and we probably should stop using it. — Soyter Krampus 🔑 (@petercoffin) November 5, 2017 I cannot share the text of the tweet that I responded to as the user was reported3 to Twitter several tweets later for threatening to dox multiple individuals. But it is the threat to dox that alarmed me so much about this particular group of TERFs. I tried pointing out what was going on to Helen, which led to the response4 by Juniper that I have male privilege. Helen and other TERFs had insisted that their ilk couldn’t be behind the doxing threats or the ableism, racism, and other vitriol that I had seen while conversing with them. When Juniper came along, she decided that my outrage was due to my either having a penis or a feeling that I should have one. I’m really not sure how a person who has never been a man and who never wanted to be a man somehow has male privilege, so I asked. I think one of the reasons is because you stated that you would fight to get a man who posts picture after picture of his come covered cock into safe spaces for women and girls because he says the magic words ‘I am a woman’. — helen staniland (@helenstaniland) December 2, 2017 The tweets that Helen was referencing were from a different Twitter user who had offended her sensibilities by posting, on her own timeline, nude pictures and video. Helen encouraged a mob of individuals to report Meisha, even though Meisha’s posts do not violate the Twitter rules. She had already given me a hard time for pointing out to another individual that reporting Meisha would only lead to that person being punished by Twitter. No. women don’t post pictures of their come covered flaccid cock. What mental gymnastics do you have to go through to tell yourself he’s a woman? Would you fight for him to be in spaces with women and girls? — helen staniland (@helenstaniland) December 1, 2017 When Helen had discovered the tweet she dislikes so, she had made sure that all of her followers could join in on her hate. Anyone who didn’t had to be shamed. I just didn’t want to play that game with her, so she went full-on with the faux outrage against me and even challenged my gender and biological sex because I supported a person who she didn’t like & who she was simply using to gain prominence amongst her TERFy peers.5 I was familiar with her technique because of the past disagreements with her,6 so I told her to leave me alone. Repeatedly. She thought […]

I’m A Guy?   Recently updated!


Porn Star by Laurelin Paige My rating: 3 of 5 stars This is another book where the authors have good intentions, but don’t really execute them that well. I think it’s wonderful that Laurelin Paige and Sierra Simone wanted to write a book that includes the very real issues within the adult entertainment industry, including rapes and sexual assaults. I think that if they had done a little more to, no pun intended, flesh things out, then the book would have been excellent. I loved the comparison of Devi/Logan to mythology and astronomy, but I think that sometimes it wasn’t as developed as it could have been. Of course, neither were the characters. Each felt a little flat, which was disappointing because I could tell that they were aiming to build these really strong characters. Instead, Logan becomes the epitome of a NiceGuy stereotype and really isn’t as in touch with respecting women as he thinks he is, while Devi comes off as whiny and immature. Even the villains/antagonists in the story aren’t fully-formed. When I finished reading the story, I felt almost like I had wasted hours of time on reading this book. I hate feeling like reading a book was a waste of time, especially when it is a book that could have been excellent. The sex scenes were okay. They weren’t over-the-top or even all that racy like you might expect with a book on porn stars falling in love. They were just okay. I couldn’t understand how the characters were having mind-blowing sex when the writing wasn’t really all that mind-blowing. Some of it was gross, but a lot of it just seemed blah. I know it was meant to shock and titillate, but it was, like porn, too over-the-top. It didn’t seem like realistic behavior, and all seemed like it was a performance. A lot of it was also grossly coercive, which doesn’t promote the sex-positive message that the writers were intending to share via the story. There were some elements that were a bit racially insensitive and a little bit off on how bisexuality works. The idea that Devi is “exotic” fetishizes her for displaying traits associated with the Persian ancestry on her father’s side. I’m sure that Paige and Simone didn’t mean to say anything racially insensitive, but they did make statements that were cringe-inducing. The descriptions of bisexuality really dumbed down the research. While I appreciate the attempt to address the research that shows women are rarely heterosexual when it comes to arousal, saying all women are bisexual based on arousal is untrue; most are bisexual, followed by homosexual, and then heterosexual, but that doesn’t define their sexuality. Yes, most women can be turned on by other women, but sexual orientation isn’t just about arousal. The same studies that determined that women are rarely heterosexual also say that most men are either heterosexual or homosexual in their arousal, which effectively erases bisexual men. They also show that women can become aroused by watching animals having sex, which could be used to suggest that women are into bestiality, and that’s just interpreting the study in the most literal way possible. It dehumanizes women and bisexuals. It also engaged in bi-erasure by suggesting that if a person is more attracted to one gender than another, that they cannot be bisexual. Devi enjoyed sex with women and fooling around with women, but she preferred men, especially Logan more. In fact, she based her identity as heterosexual solely on the attraction to Logan. Enjoying sex or preferring sex with a particular person or with a particular gender does not make someone not-a-bisexual. Dating one person exclusively or marrying them does not change their sexual orientation. Bisexuality is hard enough for most who identify that way without encountering these stereotypes & common misconceptions. It was mentioned toward the end of the story that the romance developed over the course of two months, but it seemed like it was closer to three weeks. Maybe there was more going on that wasn’t included in the story, but I think I might have found the story more believable or realistic if there was more of a sense that they were doing more than just having sex and talking about astronomy. It was also a little weird that the one who was more wealthy was Logan. Porn is one of the few industries where women out-earn men; top female talent make $2000-2500 per scene, whereas the most well-known male stars make $1500 per scene. To live the lifestyle he lived, he would need to be working more often and investing a good deal of his check. The only reason Devi would be making less is (1) the refusal to work in heterosexual porn and (2) the lack of experience. Otherwise, she would be out-earning him. I think the book had an interesting premise and I might recommend it if you just want to read something a bit smutty, but I wouldn’t tell anyone to have high expectations for it. Maybe it won’t disappoint you if you don’t go in expecting too much. View all my reviews

Review: Porn Star



Firsts by Laurie Elizabeth Flynn My rating: 2 of 5 stars This book was good, but it wasn’t. That may not be obvious since I rated it so low. Firsts tackled some tough subjects, but it didn’t really do so in a great or helpful way. I honestly wonder if it may have done more harm than good. The intention of the author, much like the intention of the main character Mercedes Ayres, was probably a good one at heart, but, as the proverb goes, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Good intentions cannot fix what is truly wrong with this book. I understand the attempt to soften the approach people take to cheating and slut-shaming, but it doesn’t actually achieve that. Instead, it pushes those stereotypes even further and dismisses criminal behavior as seduction and bad parenting. Luke is portrayed as the former boyfriend, while the behavior described is clearly sexually abusive. He groomed Mercedes before forcing her to perform oral sex on him and before eventually raping her. Charlie’s actions are not really any better. Filming a person having sex without their consent is illegal. Trying to physically force someone to have sex with you is illegal. Attempting to blackmail someone over their sex life is, you guessed it, illegal. But the author chooses to say that Charlie was trying to “seduce” Mercedes. No, that’s not seduction. Those are acts of sexual violence. Kim is an emotionally abusive and emotionally & physically neglectful mother, and Mercedes’ absentee father who decided to punish Mercedes for her mom’s decisions isn’t much better. Kim is portrayed as a slut and a bimbo who only cares about spending the ill-gotten gains of her ex-husband. It’s the kind of storyline that you might get from websites run by “men’s rights activists” and MGTOW. Faye is the supposed-to-be-subtle-but-really-isn’t cautionary tale. Zach is the night-in-shining armor. Angela is the good girl, the girl with the patience of a saint and who is let back into Mercy’s life too easily. Mercedes is the fallen girl/girl gone bad who takes on the sins of all those involved & is nearly ruined in the process. She is constantly obsessing over what side she should show others, which is something that a lot of people feel, but it was never really addressed in the book. Yes, there’s the whole, her mom screwed up how she thinks about sex, beauty, weight, etc., but that’s not enough to explain why she is so hyper-critical and why she is convinced that she is unlovable. And if you’re going to spend a whole book tearing down the main character’s self-esteem, then you need to spend more than a couple of pages making her act like she’s all-better all of a sudden. Sometimes it came across as preachy. No, wait, it always came across as preachy. The sex lives of most of the characters in the book are regularly criticized. Angela, Mercy’s BFF, is super-religious and pushes her faith onto everyone. (There are even Bible verses that are quoted and referenced.) Her sex-negative attitude only pushes Mercy to hide her actions. Kim’s antics seem to push the idea that adultery leads women to even more vice-filled lives. Mercy’s internal dialogue about how many guys she’s had sex with pushed the idea that girls & women who have ‘too much’ sex might be seen as used up goods. The outcome at school for Mercedes pushes the idea that women and girls have to be punished for being sexual. When Mercedes describes how she feels about sex and intimacy, even when she sometimes thinks she’s attracted to Faye, it’s almost like reading a pamphlet on sex addiction. Honestly, I was a bit disappointed by the way that her pseudo-attraction to Faye was handled. I know that with sex addiction, a person might engage in sex with people that they aren’t really attracted to, but the whole “is she going to kiss me” thing that existed through most of their interactions was just shrugged away toward the end. I didn’t know if Mercedes was only thinking about Faye that way because she really doesn’t understand relationship boundaries or if she might not be as heterosexual as she eventually felt the need to declare she was. Sex addiction or figuring out that you’re LGBTQ might be an interesting topic to cover in a novel, but it needs to be addressed in a better way. Come to think of it: all of the issues that are described within the book need to be addressed properly. In attempting to counter the sex-negativity that people, especially women and girls, encounter in their lives, the book actually pushed an even more sex-negative outlook. The book essentially normalized sexual violence, parental neglect, and shaming young women for being interested in sex. That’s why I don’t think I could ever truly love this book. It almost seemed like a book I could like until it became clear that it was just another in a long line of anti-sex books with ambiguous attitudes toward abuse and sexual assault. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. View all my reviews

Review: Firsts


Between the private message she sent him and her very public Facebook posts where she threatened his life, I’m not surprised that she was fired. It wasn’t just that she used slurs or obscene language, she threatened him. She sicced her fans/followers on him. He wasn’t the only one publicizing the disagreement. She was also encouraging people to do harm to him within a day of his post. If she’s not homophobic, which given some of her remarks about Robert Reed’s death, I’m not completely convinced of, she does have serious anger issues that she needs to work on. (from Facebook via IFTTT)


If you’re looking for a charity to donate to, I’ve included links to the donation pages of the charities listed under each category. Most of these originally were posted as part of my 2016 holiday wishlist. Abuse and Sexual Assault 1in6 National Coalition Against Domestic Violence RAINN Animal Rights ASPCA Antisemitism ADL Capital Punishment National Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty Civil Liberties ACLU Disability Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund Environment/Science Clinton Foundation EarthJustice GreenPeace NRDC Union of Concerned Scientists Human Rights Human Rights Watch USA for UNHCR Women’s Refugee Commission Islamophobia CAIR Journalism ProPublica RSF LGBTQ Human Rights Campaign Lambda Legal SPLC Trevor Project Poverty Alabama Arise Clinton Foundation Racism Black Lives Matter Mexican American Legal Defense Fund NAACP and its Legal Defense Fund SPLC Reproductive Rights/Feminism Center for Reproductive Rights Clinton Foundation EMILY’s List Guttmacher NARAL National Abortion Federation National Organization for Women Planned Parenthood She Should Run Women’s Refugee Commission If you have any suggestions for this list, please let me know.

Charitable Shortcuts


1
This is a meme that I participate in every year on LiveJournal. Even if you get nothing, it’s still a fun meme because it allows us to be kids again and make Christmas lists. Let’s face it, that kind of dreaming and hope is fun. So here’s my wishlist this year. If you want to make one, leave me a link and I’ll post it here. THE ORIGINAL MEME: STEP ONE Make a post (public, friends-locked, filtered… whatever you’re comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of ten holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related (“I’d love a Snape/Hermione icon that’s just for me”) to medium (“I wish for _____ on DVD”) to really big (“All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV”). The important thing is to make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want. If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it’s your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) can get in touch with you. Your home address is not required! Make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ so that the holiday joy will spread. STEP TWO Surf around your friends list (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now, here’s the important part… You needn’t spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn’t to put people out, it’s to provide everyone a chance to be someone else’s holiday elf – to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not – it’s your call. There are no guarantees with this project, and no strings attached. Just… wish, and it might come true. Give and you might receive. You’ll have the joy of knowing you made someone’s holiday special. THE LIST I have listed more than 10 things. My list this year is a little different from past ones. I have always requested chocolate, but I developed an allergy to peanuts this last year, so I thought it might not be the best idea to request food anymore. I know it’s weird for me to mention this here. 1. Donate to any of these organizations: 1in6 ACLU, ADL, Alabama Arise, ASPCA, Black Lives Matter, CAIR, Center for Reproductive Rights, Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund, EarthJustice, EMILY’s List, GreenPeace, Guttmacher, Human Rights Campaign, Human Rights Watch, Lambda Legal, Mexican American Legal Defense Fund, NAACP and its Legal Defense Fund, NARAL, National Abortion Federation, National Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, National Organization for Women, NRDC, Planned Parenthood, ProPublica, RAINN, RSF, She Should Run, SPLC, Trevor Project, Union of Concerned Scientists, USA for UNHCR, Women’s Refugee Commission I think that, given the current political/social climate, they’re going to need all of the support they can get. If you want to donate in your name, that’s fine. If you want to donate in my name, that’s fine. 2. A plush-style throw/blanket. I don’t really have any specific color or fandom requests on this.1 3. A subscription to a service like OwlCrate, InfinityCrate, or LootCrate. I have friends who subscribe to these services, and I’m always envious of them. 4. A Barkbox or LootCrate Pet subscription for Amy Pond (my dachshund/boss) because she’s my bestie. She’s not a miniature; she’s about 20 pounds. 5. Funko products featuring any of my fandoms. I have some Pop!, mugs, and a plush, and I think all of their stuff is awesome, so I’m not going to be picky about this. 6. Shot glasses. I don’t drink, I just collect them. 7. Tea pots. I also collect these. 8. Coffee Mugs. Yep, these too. I do drink coffee, though. 9. Makeup. Specifically NYX lip gloss. I’ve run out of some and broken the containers of others. I like all sorts of colors, but the browns don’t look very good on me. 10. Accessories. Hats, socks, scarves, headbands, purses, barettes, necklaces, bracelets. I absolutely need a wallet. Belts if they’re made for plus-size women. 11. Crafting and sewing stuff. Knitting, crocheting, embroidery, quilting, sewing, jewelry making stuff, adult coloring books, colored pencils, markers, beads, fabric, safety pins. 12. Obligatory teddy bear/stuffed animal request. 13. Paypal/Square donations (email for that is personal[dot]janet[at]fuzzypinkslippers[dot]com) or donations to my GoFundMe, which will help for repairs needed on my house. There’s also my Patreon, where I’m always looking for patrons. 14. Gift cards from iTunes, Lane Bryant, Starbucks, Target, Torrid, & Zenni. 15. Anything from Amazon.com wishlist. It’s fine if it’s something that’s used or that you find somewhere else. Fandoms 2 Broke Girls, Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Arrowverse, Auburn, The Big Bang Theory, The Blacklist, Charmed, Dakota Johnson, Disney, Doctor Who, Friends, Game of Thrones, Glee, Gilmore Girls, Harry Potter (esp. “my house” Hufflepuff), Hello Kitty, How to Get Away with Murder, Hunger Games, iZombie, Jamie Dornan, Jane the Virgin, Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Marvel, Once Upon a Time, Orphan Black, Outlander, Peanuts, Pretty Little Liars, Project Runway, Scream Queens, Star Trek, Star Wars, Stranger Things, Supernatural, Taylor Swift, True Blood, Twilight, UNC, Westworld Interests Crafts, fashion, reading, listening to music, singing, walking, cooking, hair, makeup, politics (progressive/liberal/left-wing), feminism, green living, cute stuff, photography Favorite colors pink, purple, baby blue, silver, red Contact If you need my address, email me at janet.main@fuzzypinkslippers.com There are two at Walmart that I adore. One is a stock image of London that’s black & white except for a red phone box. The other is a stock picture of Paris. But I would be just as happy with a solid color one. ↩

Holiday Wishlist Meme 2016



“Shortly after Eleazar Andres took a job as a maintenance worker at New Jersey’s Trump National Golf Club in 2014, his life became a living hell. When he told his co-workers that he was gay, Andres became the target of intense homophobic harassment. His co-workers routinely called him “maricón,” “faggot,” and “fag,” and regularly threw rocks and golf balls at him. One of his harassers threw a rock at his head so hard that it sent him to the hospital. … Trump’s attorneys deny almost all of them; they do admit that Andres’ co-workers did, indeed, throw rocks at him. As a defense, Trump’s attorneys attempt to blame Andres, arguing that his claim is barred by the Doctrine of Unclean Hands. That means Andres himself is “guilty of inequitable conduct” and is “a wrongdoer with respect to” his own lawsuit—in other words, that Andres somehow fostered or provoked the discrimination against him, or committed some other serious wrongdoing. It is difficult to imagine a more offensive response to a discrimination suit. Judging from legal filings, Trump’s attorneys are not merely gaslighting Andres; they are blaming him for his own harassment.” – Mark Joseph Stern via Tumblr

Sorry that I fell behind by a few days. I had some stuff come up in my family that took precedence. I have decided that splitting each list up into 21 items is a bit too anal of me. I’ll get as many done in a day as I can. That may mean huge lists some days and really small ones on other days. I have a feeling that if you’re looking for reasons to oppose Donald Trump, no list can be too big or too small.1 I’m also going to begin posting each reason on my Twitter account under #2016Reasons. I’ve already been posting each of these posts to that hashtag. 106. Trump said that you never see thin people drinking Diet Coke. Despite the fact that he drinks the soda, Trump enjoys fat-shaming people who drink the soda. I guess that it’s a case of do as I say, not as I do, also known as typical Donald Trump. 107. Donald Trump talks about women like they’re his property. You should know by now that I’m not joking when I say things like this, so yes, he really uses possessive language about women. Specifically, he said, “I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.” And if you’re thinking, “well, at least it’s a compliment,” then I’m going to assume that you’re probably going to vote Republican anyway. People cannot be owned. Now, I know that Trump has a history of trying to get around that by “employing” people who are in forced servitude (slavery) to build things for him, but the statement stands. 108. He thinks he can brag about humility. When Lesley Stahl interviewed him for 60 Minutes after he announced that Pence would be his running mate, he said this about himself: “I think I’m much more humble than you would understand.” And it wasn’t the only time he felt the need to brag about how humble he is. He once even compared his humility to that of the Pope. Donald, Donald, Donald. Do you not understand how humility works? It’s not something that you can brag about. Well, obviously, you can brag about anything, but if you’re bragging about being humble, then you are not humble. Know why? It’s what the word means: Humility: a modest or low view of one’s own importance; humbleness. Bragging about humility is a bit like fat-shaming people for drinking Diet Coke while guzzling a tiny little bottle of Diet Coke on board a private plane. Yeah, I said it. 109. “The point is, you can never be too greedy.” I shouldn’t be surprised that Donald subscribes to the Gordon Gekko philosophy of wealth acquisition. Maybe, like many, he doesn’t understand that Gekko wasn’t the hero of those movies. He was the villain. Perhaps, he was inspired by the Ferengi in the Star Trek universe; failing to recognize that they too were meant to be antagonists. Or maybe it’s due to growing up in a wealthy family; he never learned that life isn’t about being the wealthiest person in the room or becoming the wealthiest person in the room. He values his bank balance more than he values lives. Is that the kind of person that you want running the United States? 110. Political events are about ratings for him. Whether talking about the debates or the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump obsessed over how many people were watching. I hate to break it to him, but a lot of people who watched those things aren’t even voting for him. At a certain point, watching Trump speak became more about either laughing at him or trying to determine just how out there the man is. But even if people were watching to root him on in his fight against the establishment–aka himself–believing that ratings are the most important part of the events proves how out of touch he is with the importance of the job he’s campaigning to have. Debates and conventions are not just job interviews, they’re part of national conversations where we all start determining where exactly this country should stand on a variety of important issues. Since Trump doesn’t even bother to share his plans for working on those issues, it’s clear that he doesn’t even get the most basic part about it. When he only speaks in incoherent soundbites, it’s easy to see how shallow the man and the campaign really are. 111. He’s opposed to marriage equality. Donald likes to paint himself as a pro-LGBTQ candidate, but he believes in “traditional” marriage. (Apparently, traditional marriage means a union of one man, three women, and a lot of divorce attorneys.) Electing Donald Trump could jeopardize the rights that so many people have fought so hard to win and could prevent future wins in other ongoing fights for equality in America. He has vowed to overturn the decision in Obergefell v. Hodges. 112. Patronized a woman claiming to be a 9/11 survivor. Trump called Alicia Watkins “sweetie” before giving her a “job interview” and saying he’d hire her because he had a gut feeling about her. Watkins told him that she was a 9/11 survivor and a veteran of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Watkins has since been described as having falsified her record and having violated federal laws against Stolen Valor by wearing a purple heart that she didn’t earn. Not only did he patronize her, he proved that his gut kinda sucks. 113. Threatened to “spill the beans” on Heidi Cruz. During the end of the Republican primaries, things between Ted Cruz and Donald Trump got a bit heated. In a move that Cruz still won’t forgive Trump for, Trump threatened Heidi on Twitter. He followed it up by retweeting an unflattering picture of Heidi–a move he actually regrets. 114. Called 9/11 “7/11”. During a rally, Donald Trump confused a huge national tragedy with the real life inspiration for the Kwik-E-Mart. For any American, that would be a big flub, but for someone who loves to brag about his patriotism […]

2016 Reasons to Oppose Trump: Reasons #106-131



Tolerance is something we should all support. It promotes the idea that we are all equal. It helps establish that the rights that exist for the majority also apply to minorities. It is something that must exist because we can no longer have a world where oppression is acceptable. Tolerance is a good thing.  But some people don’t like the idea of ending hatred. They want a world where they’re allowed to attack or degrade someone based on their race, religion, disability, sex, etc. They feel empowered by that hatred, by the oppression that results from it.  But some take their hate to the next level. They try to ruin the meaning of tolerance by appropriating the word itself. They like to make the “tolerance goes both way” statement. In my experience, it’s only the bigots that say it.  They’ll claim, “I don’t like gay people getting married, so I’ll keep it from happening by not letting them get a marriage license. You say you believe in tolerance. You have to tolerate me. You have to accept me.”  They’ll say, “Liberals like to call me a bigot because I believe in white genocide. They’re not very tolerant of opinions they don’t like.” But that’s utter bullshit. No one has to accept this kind of behavior. Ever.  What they’re wanting is for people who are facing actual intolerance to be complacent about that intolerance. They don’t understand how disgusting their desire is. But if they expect a marginalized group to smile and take it when they’re being intolerant, then they’re sick fucks.  Photo credit: tedeytan via Visual hunt / CC BY-SA

That’s Not How Tolerance Works


1
Once upon a time, we were friends. We would email each other, talk on Twitter, comment on each other’s blogs, etc. It was nice. You and I were both diagnosed as Bipolar and it was nice to have someone around my age to talk to about that. You weren’t my only friend with that issue, but for a while there you were one of the closest. When you got your lap-band surgery done, I remember worrying because you couldn’t keep down food, but you didn’t want to tell your doctor because you were finally losing weight. I worried you would have nutritional deficiencies before I realized I had them.  And you told me you worried about my health issues as well.   That’s why you felt the need when you were diagnosed with “Chronic Lyme Disease” to suggest I might have it as well.1 You told me that it fit my symptoms. You told me I might be able to go off my meds, lose weight, and live a life off without chronic pain if I’d just go to a Lyme specialist.2 And for a split second, I considered it.3 But then I researched it, something that you should have known I would do. When I told you that I didn’t think an infection was causing my hereditary condition,4 you huffed off like a toddler for a while before you came roaring back into my life.  Our friendship never recovered from that, did it? Or maybe our friendship was nonexistent from the beginning. That’s what I started thinking tonight as your tirade came in. Well, I did after I described your past behaviors, including that close friendship with a certain blogger that used to write fat-shaming posts pretty regularly, and some people started pointing out that friends don’t really act like you’ve acted. I tried to defend you. You’re bipolar and off your meds…you are just on a Lyme disease kick…you’re just having a bad day or week or month or year.  But that doesn’t explain it.  Because the reality is that you’ve always had a shady edge to your behavior.  Like how you harassed one mutual friend over her past drug issues and how that compared to your Lyme disease. Or the time you harassed another person I know and you know of over her exercising routine and her teeth. Or maybe the time you went after another mutual friend calling her a bad parent for having an autistic child and eating gluten. Or maybe how you treated total strangers should have clued me in. You trolled groups for disabled people on Twitter to promote your “everything is Lyme” mindset. You said people who didn’t buy marijuana5 off the street, not from reputable/regulated dealers, for their epileptic children were bad parents. You would even buy marijuana, in a state where it’s illegal, to make homemade CBD oil & you’d brag about it on social media. You didn’t care who you hurt, whether it was a friend, a family member, a stranger, or yourself.   So your nonsensical transphobic tirade fits with the rest of your utter disregard and lack of even basic compassion for other people. And I am so happy my eyes are open to your cruelty. I’m glad that I am no longer having to hope that one day you’ll go back on your medicine and into therapy and be all better. Clearly, this is what the real you is like. I don’t know why you think the transgender community wants to strip you of your rights any more than I know why you fixated on Lyme. I don’t understand why you think I’m brainwashed when you’re the person actually buying into speculation and denying facts. I don’t know why you think that it’s okay to compare the LGBTQ community to Nazis or why you think there’s a vast conspiracy to brainwash children into being trans. Do you think that I’m going to molest children because of my past? Would you not trust me to be around children if I didn’t identify as 100% heterosexual? I mean before you determined that I was brainwashed by my trans friends. Was I a threat then? Am I one now? Have you always thought of me as a dangerous person? Did you really think I was threatening you? These are things I wanted to ask you. I don’t usually give people who pick fights with me multiple chances to walk away. I don’t warn them like I did you. You’ve seen me argue and you know this. You have to at least know I would never beat you up. I’ve slapped one person in my whole life and I still feel bad about that. I mean, come on, this is me. I rant online, but I’m practically a pacifist.  Identifying as transgender is not a result of child molestation. Being a  non-heterosexual is not the result of child molestation. This is a bullshit belief that even total homophobes and transphobes don’t express that much anymore. And being gay or trans doesn’t mean someone will molest children. Don’t believe what fear- and hate-mongers want you to believe. Don’t put your faith in people who won’t be honest with you. Did you even bother to look for a legitimate source on any of those articles? Ooh. Tabloids. So trust-worthy, especially ones with links to UKIP, BNP, & Tories. But I guess that fits with your fear-mongering and with your love of Trump.6 I always knew you were a Republican, but I never realized how much hatred you carry in your heart.7 You want me to be educated on this issue, but you’re forgetting that I actually am educated. Remember early in our friendship when I was being booted from my college major with one semester left? Or that what that major was in? I know a Social Work degree and a GRE score high enough to get my Master’s is not as impressive as being able to make your own CBD oil, but it’s close, right? I […]

Dearest Marie