Homophobia


Between the private message she sent him and her very public Facebook posts where she threatened his life, I’m not surprised that she was fired. It wasn’t just that she used slurs or obscene language, she threatened him. She sicced her fans/followers on him. He wasn’t the only one publicizing the disagreement. She was also encouraging people to do harm to him within a day of his post. If she’s not homophobic, which given some of her remarks about Robert Reed’s death, I’m not completely convinced of, she does have serious anger issues that she needs to work on. (from Facebook via IFTTT)

“Shortly after Eleazar Andres took a job as a maintenance worker at New Jersey’s Trump National Golf Club in 2014, his life became a living hell. When he told his co-workers that he was gay, Andres became the target of intense homophobic harassment. His co-workers routinely called him “maricón,” “faggot,” and “fag,” and regularly threw rocks and golf balls at him. One of his harassers threw a rock at his head so hard that it sent him to the hospital. … Trump’s attorneys deny almost all of them; they do admit that Andres’ co-workers did, indeed, throw rocks at him. As a defense, Trump’s attorneys attempt to blame Andres, arguing that his claim is barred by the Doctrine of Unclean Hands. That means Andres himself is “guilty of inequitable conduct” and is “a wrongdoer with respect to” his own lawsuit—in other words, that Andres somehow fostered or provoked the discrimination against him, or committed some other serious wrongdoing. It is difficult to imagine a more offensive response to a discrimination suit. Judging from legal filings, Trump’s attorneys are not merely gaslighting Andres; they are blaming him for his own harassment.” – Mark Joseph Stern via Tumblr


Tolerance is something we should all support. It promotes the idea that we are all equal. It helps establish that the rights that exist for the majority also apply to minorities. It is something that must exist because we can no longer have a world where oppression is acceptable. Tolerance is a good thing.  But some people don’t like the idea of ending hatred. They want a world where they’re allowed to attack or degrade someone based on their race, religion, disability, sex, etc. They feel empowered by that hatred, by the oppression that results from it.  But some take their hate to the next level. They try to ruin the meaning of tolerance by appropriating the word itself. They like to make the “tolerance goes both way” statement. In my experience, it’s only the bigots that say it.  They’ll claim, “I don’t like gay people getting married, so I’ll keep it from happening by not letting them get a marriage license. You say you believe in tolerance. You have to tolerate me. You have to accept me.”  They’ll say, “Liberals like to call me a bigot because I believe in white genocide. They’re not very tolerant of opinions they don’t like.” But that’s utter bullshit. No one has to accept this kind of behavior. Ever.  What they’re wanting is for people who are facing actual intolerance to be complacent about that intolerance. They don’t understand how disgusting their desire is. But if they expect a marginalized group to smile and take it when they’re being intolerant, then they’re sick fucks.  Photo credit: tedeytan via Visual hunt / CC BY-SA

That’s Not How Tolerance Works


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Once upon a time, we were friends. We would email each other, talk on Twitter, comment on each other’s blogs, etc. It was nice. You and I were both diagnosed as Bipolar and it was nice to have someone around my age to talk to about that. You weren’t my only friend with that issue, but for a while there you were one of the closest. When you got your lap-band surgery done, I remember worrying because you couldn’t keep down food, but you didn’t want to tell your doctor because you were finally losing weight. I worried you would have nutritional deficiencies before I realized I had them.  And you told me you worried about my health issues as well.   That’s why you felt the need when you were diagnosed with “Chronic Lyme Disease” to suggest I might have it as well.1 You told me that it fit my symptoms. You told me I might be able to go off my meds, lose weight, and live a life off without chronic pain if I’d just go to a Lyme specialist.2 And for a split second, I considered it.3 But then I researched it, something that you should have known I would do. When I told you that I didn’t think an infection was causing my hereditary condition,4 you huffed off like a toddler for a while before you came roaring back into my life.  Our friendship never recovered from that, did it? Or maybe our friendship was nonexistent from the beginning. That’s what I started thinking tonight as your tirade came in. Well, I did after I described your past behaviors, including that close friendship with a certain blogger that used to write fat-shaming posts pretty regularly, and some people started pointing out that friends don’t really act like you’ve acted. I tried to defend you. You’re bipolar and off your meds…you are just on a Lyme disease kick…you’re just having a bad day or week or month or year.  But that doesn’t explain it.  Because the reality is that you’ve always had a shady edge to your behavior.  Like how you harassed one mutual friend over her past drug issues and how that compared to your Lyme disease. Or the time you harassed another person I know and you know of over her exercising routine and her teeth. Or maybe the time you went after another mutual friend calling her a bad parent for having an autistic child and eating gluten. Or maybe how you treated total strangers should have clued me in. You trolled groups for disabled people on Twitter to promote your “everything is Lyme” mindset. You said people who didn’t buy marijuana5 off the street, not from reputable/regulated dealers, for their epileptic children were bad parents. You would even buy marijuana, in a state where it’s illegal, to make homemade CBD oil & you’d brag about it on social media. You didn’t care who you hurt, whether it was a friend, a family member, a stranger, or yourself.   So your nonsensical transphobic tirade fits with the rest of your utter disregard and lack of even basic compassion for other people. And I am so happy my eyes are open to your cruelty. I’m glad that I am no longer having to hope that one day you’ll go back on your medicine and into therapy and be all better. Clearly, this is what the real you is like. I don’t know why you think the transgender community wants to strip you of your rights any more than I know why you fixated on Lyme. I don’t understand why you think I’m brainwashed when you’re the person actually buying into speculation and denying facts. I don’t know why you think that it’s okay to compare the LGBTQ community to Nazis or why you think there’s a vast conspiracy to brainwash children into being trans. Do you think that I’m going to molest children because of my past? Would you not trust me to be around children if I didn’t identify as 100% heterosexual? I mean before you determined that I was brainwashed by my trans friends. Was I a threat then? Am I one now? Have you always thought of me as a dangerous person? Did you really think I was threatening you? These are things I wanted to ask you. I don’t usually give people who pick fights with me multiple chances to walk away. I don’t warn them like I did you. You’ve seen me argue and you know this. You have to at least know I would never beat you up. I’ve slapped one person in my whole life and I still feel bad about that. I mean, come on, this is me. I rant online, but I’m practically a pacifist.  Identifying as transgender is not a result of child molestation. Being a  non-heterosexual is not the result of child molestation. This is a bullshit belief that even total homophobes and transphobes don’t express that much anymore. And being gay or trans doesn’t mean someone will molest children. Don’t believe what fear- and hate-mongers want you to believe. Don’t put your faith in people who won’t be honest with you. Did you even bother to look for a legitimate source on any of those articles? Ooh. Tabloids. So trust-worthy, especially ones with links to UKIP, BNP, & Tories. But I guess that fits with your fear-mongering and with your love of Trump.6 I always knew you were a Republican, but I never realized how much hatred you carry in your heart.7 You want me to be educated on this issue, but you’re forgetting that I actually am educated. Remember early in our friendship when I was being booted from my college major with one semester left? Or that what that major was in? I know a Social Work degree and a GRE score high enough to get my Master’s is not as impressive as being able to make your own CBD oil, but it’s close, right? I […]

Dearest Marie



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So, while I wait for my sunscreen to power-up, I thought I’d say that the only real use for a certain stigmatic trending topic, #TheTriggering, is to fill my 100,000+1 strong blocklist .2 I’ve seen a lot of those assholes pretend like it isn’t an attack on people with PTSD. They claim that the people who talk about needing trigger warnings aren’t “really” PTSD patients. Well, in a way, they’re correct; some who need trigger warnings are not PTSD patients. Many psychiatric ailments have environmental/stress-related triggers. Many “physical” ailments do as well. They claim that people who talk about having PTSD haven’t really been diagnosed; that they just looked it up on the internet and randomly decided that they have it. Randomly claiming to have PTSD is apparently a lot less classy than telling a stranger on Twitter that you know more about their psychological health than they do.3 Maybe some who claim to have PTSD are faking, but I guess the shitlords don’t realize that if a person is faking a mental illness for attention or sympathy or because they genuinely believe they have it, they are still suffering from a mental illness. Guess what that means: They still deserve respect & compassion.  Most of the posts I’ve seen that don’t bash PTSD patients are bashing non-whites, LGBTQ community members, the disabled, and other marginalized groups. They’ll glorify free speech and free enterprise, while wanting to restrict votes4 to people they don’t like and saying that a private business5 cannot ban people who violate its terms of service–they think that’s censorship.6 They deny that their harassment and bullying campaigns are abuse because, to them, abuse has to involve physical violence, but they’ll use Eron Gjoni’s supposed psychological abuse to promote those campaigns. Many profess a belief in Christianity, while not understanding its tenets. Others claim to be atheists—a belief they promote as one for morally superior individuals—while simultaneously engaging in harassment and bullying of others for fun.7 Many are Trump supporters and/or identify with KKK, neo-Nazi, or other alt-right ideologies. #TheTriggering is nothing more than a bigotpalooza. It’s sick and fucking twisted.  And all of their hate is over what? Having to give a heads up that their words might upset others? At worst, that’s an inconvenience. They’re basically assholes complaining that they can’t be assholes to other people.8 There are kindergarten graduates who have a better grasp on how to behave around others than they do.  Photo Credit: Pixabay Seriously. ↩And it’s not even all that useful since I already have most of the assholes using it blocked. ↩I speak from experience on this. I was told that I couldn’t have PTSD from childhood emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and bullying. I was told only military service personnel who were atracked in a war zone could have the disorder. ↩Voting is a form of free speech. ↩Twitter. ↩It isn’t. ↩If you think terrorizing another person is fun, seek professional help. ↩Get some manners, guys. ↩

Huff and Puff


Should Kim Davis, Rowan County Clerk, be in jail for refusing to grant marriage licenses to LGBTQ couples? Was her refusal to do so an example of injustice? Should she be applauded for standing up for what she believes in? Is it hypocritical for her to oppose marriage equality when she has been married four times?


I don’t understand homophobia. I never have. I mean, I get what it means, but I don’t understand how people can feel okay with being homophobic. The idea of hating someone because they happen to be attracted to someone of the same-sex or gender is just ridiculous to me. I’ve disliked people that my friends dated, but I never hated my friends for who they were with. And I didn’t dislike the people that they dated because of an inborn thing, I just disliked them because they were assholes. I don’t get why Breitbart and other right-wing organizations and “think tanks”1 feel the need to criticize the mass marriage that took places last night; ceremonies that took place between gay couples and straight couples. I don’t understand how the mayor of Sochi can think that there are absolutely no gay people living within the city limits. I don’t understand why people keep pushing the idea of “curing” people of their orientation. I don’t get how parents and siblings can try to keep non-heterosexual family members from having rights equal to their own. Ignorance like this is just something that I don’t get. The Grammy’s Apparently, the most offensive thing to the right about last night’s Grammy celebration was the mass marriage ceremony. Christian Toto of Breitbart wrote, “For one night, an awards show understood what it meant to appeal to the masses. And then the 2014 Grammy Awards fired off a culture war missile aimed at those who believe in a traditional definition of marriage…Tonight, LL Cool J emceed another Grammys telecast aimed at the widest audience possible until rappers Macklemore and Ryan Lewis sang Same Love while 33 couples–both straight and gay–got married.” The last time I checked, masses referred to the majority, and the majority of Americans believed that marriage between same-sex couples should be recognized as valid, with the same rights and protections as “traditional marriage” and would vote for a federal law making it legal in all 50 states. That’s according to Gallup, but if Breitbart has another non-partisan poll that they would like to share that has differing results, then maybe they should do that…now. Breitbart isn’t alone with the condemnation of the marriages last night. Rush Limbaugh, the person who loved getting married so much that he’s done it 4 times, called the marriages an attack on Christians and conservatives. Maybe he’s not the best person to judge whether a group of people should be getting married. Dana Loesch tweeted, “I always thought marriage was about making a covenant before God, not a Grammy audience.” So does that mean that she doesn’t like it when Atheists and people who aren’t of a Judeo-Christian background get married, too? If marriage is just a covenant between a person and his or her God, then it shouldn’t be legislated at all by the government. If it is just a religious thing, then we should abolish all laws pertaining to the legality or illegality of marriages because to do otherwise would go against the First Amendment rights of every person who doesn’t have the same religious beliefs. I don’t understand why there were no real complaints by conservatives about the content of the other performance. I didn’t hear an outcry about the performance of “Drunk in Love” by Beyoncé and Jay-Z which openly discusses sexuality. And where were these family values people when the Robin Thicke/Chicago medley transitioned into the rape anthem “Blurred Lines” by Thicke. Oh, wait. Rape is one of those things that conservative pundits tend to write off as being the fault of the victim. There’s “Cop Car” which might give kids the idea that it’s cool to trespass ’cause you might fall in love. And the “Get Lucky/Le Freak/Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger/Another Star/Lose Yourself to Dance”, includes songs with references to sex, clubbing, taking drugs, and getting drunk. Also I’m still partly convinced that staying “up all night to get lucky” could be taken as a verse about priapism. I’m also pretty sure those are things that aren’t very family-oriented. Russia I don’t understand the issue that some Russians seem to have with homosexuality. I know that homophobia can be found all over the world. I know that I live in a haven for ignorance, but it seemed like, for a few years, Russia tried to better itself. Then came Putin and everything started getting bad again. Ignorant assholes seemed to start speaking out more and more and pushing for any progress that may have been made to be pushed back in favor of more Dark Age-like bullshit. I really don’t understand their law that makes it illegal to promote homosexuality because I don’t get how one promotes something like that. Sexuality isn’t something that you can buy. It isn’t something that changes. You may not be “out” with others or even with yourself, but your sexuality is something that is fixed. When Sochi’s mayor claims that there are no gay people in his city, I have to wonder how he can be sure. There are over 340,000 people living in Sochi. Some experts think the number in a population would be about 2%. Most people accept the guess based on studies by Alfred Kinsey of 10%. In surveys done by researches from Ohio State University, 19% of participants said, when asked indirectly, that they did not consider themselves to be heterosexual; 11% identified that way when asked directly. This would mean that Sochi should have at least 6800 LGBTQ citizens, probably has 34,000 LGBTQ citizens, and may have as many as 68,000 citizens who are not heterosexual. Unless he has somehow managed to expel or exterminate those people, they still exist within his beloved city’s limits. I wouldn’t be surprised that Anatoly Pakhomov thinks that there are no gay people in Sochi. If I were living there and I identified as a lesbian or bisexual or any other non-heterosexual orientation, I would probably keep my sexuality quiet, too. When your mayor looks on […]

IDGI: Homophobia


“Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood. This sets the stage for further repression and violence that spread all too easily to victimize the next minority group.” Coretta Scott King