Harassment


1
Once upon a time, we were friends. We would email each other, talk on Twitter, comment on each other’s blogs, etc. It was nice. You and I were both diagnosed as Bipolar and it was nice to have someone around my age to talk to about that. You weren’t my only friend with that issue, but for a while there you were one of the closest. When you got your lap-band surgery done, I remember worrying because you couldn’t keep down food, but you didn’t want to tell your doctor because you were finally losing weight. I worried you would have nutritional deficiencies before I realized I had them.  And you told me you worried about my health issues as well.   That’s why you felt the need when you were diagnosed with “Chronic Lyme Disease” to suggest I might have it as well.1 You told me that it fit my symptoms. You told me I might be able to go off my meds, lose weight, and live a life off without chronic pain if I’d just go to a Lyme specialist.2 And for a split second, I considered it.3 But then I researched it, something that you should have known I would do. When I told you that I didn’t think an infection was causing my hereditary condition,4 you huffed off like a toddler for a while before you came roaring back into my life.  Our friendship never recovered from that, did it? Or maybe our friendship was nonexistent from the beginning. That’s what I started thinking tonight as your tirade came in. Well, I did after I described your past behaviors, including that close friendship with a certain blogger that used to write fat-shaming posts pretty regularly, and some people started pointing out that friends don’t really act like you’ve acted. I tried to defend you. You’re bipolar and off your meds…you are just on a Lyme disease kick…you’re just having a bad day or week or month or year.  But that doesn’t explain it.  Because the reality is that you’ve always had a shady edge to your behavior.  Like how you harassed one mutual friend over her past drug issues and how that compared to your Lyme disease. Or the time you harassed another person I know and you know of over her exercising routine and her teeth. Or maybe the time you went after another mutual friend calling her a bad parent for having an autistic child and eating gluten. Or maybe how you treated total strangers should have clued me in. You trolled groups for disabled people on Twitter to promote your “everything is Lyme” mindset. You said people who didn’t buy marijuana5 off the street, not from reputable/regulated dealers, for their epileptic children were bad parents. You would even buy marijuana, in a state where it’s illegal, to make homemade CBD oil & you’d brag about it on social media. You didn’t care who you hurt, whether it was a friend, a family member, a stranger, or yourself.   So your nonsensical transphobic tirade fits with the rest of your utter disregard and lack of even basic compassion for other people. And I am so happy my eyes are open to your cruelty. I’m glad that I am no longer having to hope that one day you’ll go back on your medicine and into therapy and be all better. Clearly, this is what the real you is like. I don’t know why you think the transgender community wants to strip you of your rights any more than I know why you fixated on Lyme. I don’t understand why you think I’m brainwashed when you’re the person actually buying into speculation and denying facts. I don’t know why you think that it’s okay to compare the LGBTQ community to Nazis or why you think there’s a vast conspiracy to brainwash children into being trans. Do you think that I’m going to molest children because of my past? Would you not trust me to be around children if I didn’t identify as 100% heterosexual? I mean before you determined that I was brainwashed by my trans friends. Was I a threat then? Am I one now? Have you always thought of me as a dangerous person? Did you really think I was threatening you? These are things I wanted to ask you. I don’t usually give people who pick fights with me multiple chances to walk away. I don’t warn them like I did you. You’ve seen me argue and you know this. You have to at least know I would never beat you up. I’ve slapped one person in my whole life and I still feel bad about that. I mean, come on, this is me. I rant online, but I’m practically a pacifist.  Identifying as transgender is not a result of child molestation. Being a  non-heterosexual is not the result of child molestation. This is a bullshit belief that even total homophobes and transphobes don’t express that much anymore. And being gay or trans doesn’t mean someone will molest children. Don’t believe what fear- and hate-mongers want you to believe. Don’t put your faith in people who won’t be honest with you. Did you even bother to look for a legitimate source on any of those articles? Ooh. Tabloids. So trust-worthy, especially ones with links to UKIP, BNP, & Tories. But I guess that fits with your fear-mongering and with your love of Trump.6 I always knew you were a Republican, but I never realized how much hatred you carry in your heart.7 You want me to be educated on this issue, but you’re forgetting that I actually am educated. Remember early in our friendship when I was being booted from my college major with one semester left? Or that what that major was in? I know a Social Work degree and a GRE score high enough to get my Master’s is not as impressive as being able to make your own CBD oil, but it’s close, right? I […]

Dearest Marie


1
So, while I wait for my sunscreen to power-up, I thought I’d say that the only real use for a certain stigmatic trending topic, #TheTriggering, is to fill my 100,000+1 strong blocklist .2 I’ve seen a lot of those assholes pretend like it isn’t an attack on people with PTSD. They claim that the people who talk about needing trigger warnings aren’t “really” PTSD patients. Well, in a way, they’re correct; some who need trigger warnings are not PTSD patients. Many psychiatric ailments have environmental/stress-related triggers. Many “physical” ailments do as well. They claim that people who talk about having PTSD haven’t really been diagnosed; that they just looked it up on the internet and randomly decided that they have it. Randomly claiming to have PTSD is apparently a lot less classy than telling a stranger on Twitter that you know more about their psychological health than they do.3 Maybe some who claim to have PTSD are faking, but I guess the shitlords don’t realize that if a person is faking a mental illness for attention or sympathy or because they genuinely believe they have it, they are still suffering from a mental illness. Guess what that means: They still deserve respect & compassion.  Most of the posts I’ve seen that don’t bash PTSD patients are bashing non-whites, LGBTQ community members, the disabled, and other marginalized groups. They’ll glorify free speech and free enterprise, while wanting to restrict votes4 to people they don’t like and saying that a private business5 cannot ban people who violate its terms of service–they think that’s censorship.6 They deny that their harassment and bullying campaigns are abuse because, to them, abuse has to involve physical violence, but they’ll use Eron Gjoni’s supposed psychological abuse to promote those campaigns. Many profess a belief in Christianity, while not understanding its tenets. Others claim to be atheists—a belief they promote as one for morally superior individuals—while simultaneously engaging in harassment and bullying of others for fun.7 Many are Trump supporters and/or identify with KKK, neo-Nazi, or other alt-right ideologies. #TheTriggering is nothing more than a bigotpalooza. It’s sick and fucking twisted.  And all of their hate is over what? Having to give a heads up that their words might upset others? At worst, that’s an inconvenience. They’re basically assholes complaining that they can’t be assholes to other people.8 There are kindergarten graduates who have a better grasp on how to behave around others than they do.  Photo Credit: Pixabay Seriously. ↩And it’s not even all that useful since I already have most of the assholes using it blocked. ↩I speak from experience on this. I was told that I couldn’t have PTSD from childhood emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and bullying. I was told only military service personnel who were atracked in a war zone could have the disorder. ↩Voting is a form of free speech. ↩Twitter. ↩It isn’t. ↩If you think terrorizing another person is fun, seek professional help. ↩Get some manners, guys. ↩

Huff and Puff



2
I don’t normally ask for people to do this, but if you have a Twitter account, can you please report the user wnkpag3. I’m literally receiving these homophobic comments and death threats because of my included tweet. The tweet I made was in response to the GoFundMe page set up for the owners of Memories Pizza after they publicly supported RFRA. This user might not mean what they are saying, including other tweets where they are saying they have a planned date1 to attack LGBTQ individuals, but these are still threats. They’re still illegal. So, please, please, please, report this individual. via Tumblr I was told by one of my friends on Twitter that the account is showing up as suspended for him. It’s not showing up that way for me yet, so it may still need more reports before Twitter takes the threats seriously. Whether they’re taking them that way or not, I think they’re serious. I’m actually worried and it has taken a lot lately to rattle me online. I’ve also reported the person to IC3. @clydescope1973 @lindarutter this is going to change, on june 1 2015 many lgbt is going to feel my pains! — wnkpag3 (@wnkpag3) April 2, 2015 Larger versions of the images shared on Tumblr are below the cut. June 1, 2015 ↩

The Time I Asked For a Favor


There are some really messed up people in this world. Apparently, a few of them are writers. Months after the Kathleen Hale stalked a negative reviewer and Richard Brittain stalked and assaulted a negative reviewer, Andrea Smith and Eva LeNoir have decided to take on the ignoble task of publicly shaming a negative reviewer. This time, it’s being done in literary form. Their book Black Balled has the following description currently: Two dominant males, two worthy adversaries, in a business that takes no prisoners, will soon learn that fate refuses to be ignored . . . Black Balled is a story of two people, destined to hate one another for very different reasons–but will something happen to change all of that? A harsh reviewer with deep secrets and fears; a cocky Indie author that takes the bait and ultimately ends up breaking the Cardinal Rule, but what price will he end up paying for that? Situations are not always what they seem; one of them is in deep denial,and the other is hell-bent on finding something–anything to distract him from his insecurities and the pain he is feeling because of personal tragedy and loss… toss a vindictive ex in the mix, and what you have is explosive and quite . . . epic. Can they both survive one other? Get ready for a magical carpet ride with this one! That might not sound bad,1 unless you take into account the original description or what she said when she changed it. Babu is one letter off of the name of reviewer Baba, who left a negative (2-star) review on Diamond Girl, a book by Smith. As critical as the review was, it ended with “Give it a try and maybe you’ll love it.” That’s nicer than a lot of people are2 when it comes to critical reviews. So, writing a book as a response? Holy fuckballs! That’s nuts. But Smith says it isn’t about Baba and that Baba is full of herself. No, really, she did. Smith also seems “surprised” that there was drama over the book and seems to be in total denial that she is to blame for it. She also seems to be in denial that the “buzz”3 is pretty much all negative. This also isn’t the first time that Smith has behaved childishly45 when critiqued. This is pretty indicative that she has a problem. If you can’t handle reviews that are 1 or 2 stars, then maybe you shouldn’t publish your work. At the very least, you shouldn’t read the reviews. And if you’re reacting this poorly to the reviews, then get help that you definitely need. This should not be the way any person reacts to this sort of situation. I’ve received criticism in the past on various things and reacted negatively from it. I’ve also worked on not letting it get to me. Maybe the writers who end up obsessing over, stalking, shaming, and assaulting their critics should do the same. If they don’t want to try therapy, then maybe they can listen to music or meditate or paint or do something. But this sort of behavior is just messed up. It seriously reminds me of the wise words of Mary Cooper on The Big Bang Theory: Oh, lamb chop, we can quibble what to call it, but I think we can both agree it’s creepy. Except that it’s not just creepy. It is absolutely 100% fucked up. Reviewers shouldn’t have to worry about their personal safety because some writers can’t handle a negative review. And it’s becoming increasingly more obvious that that’s something reviewers are going to have to consider. I wouldn’t be surprised if this sort of act or the acts of other authors leads some people who write reviews to back away from doing so in the future. I also wouldn’t be surprised if it makes reading in general less enjoyable for some. And that not only hurts Smith and LeNoir, it hurts the whole industry, reviewers, and people who just read as a hobby. I don’t think there is any way that Smith and LeNoir could repair the damage to their careers that they have done with this book, but it would be nice if they would admit that their behavior is reprehensible. It would be nice if they would actually step up, put their grown up panties on, and apologize. Although it still sounds pretty fucked up like this. ↩including me ↩Is it really “buzz” if people are really talking about the book exhibiting a writer’s predatory behavior? ↩Comments to reviewers on Amazon. ↩More comments to reviewers on Amazon.com ↩

Oh, lamb chop



Anyone who likes Christina Hoff Sommers should probably leave this blog. I see people talking about her debunking of the wage gap and her “equity feminism” beliefs without mentioning that she isn’t exactly the best source of what is good/bad economics- and equality-wise. Why? Well, her current job, for one. (Her previous job of ethics professor doesn’t really mesh with it.) Christina Hoff Sommers works for The American Enterprise Institute (AEI), which is a “think tank” for rich white people who don’t like to think. On AEI’s Board of Trustees, there is the totally equal ratio of 24:1 (men to women). That sure sounds like equity has already been achieved there. AEI’s interests aren’t in actual equality, but in fighting America’s “culture war” and reforming education, affirmative action, and welfare. They have also been advancing their causes of making sure all voters have photo ID (potential poll tax), doubting the reality that is climate change, opposing regulation of the financial system, opposing increases in minimum wage, and defending big tobacco. “Scholars” of AEI have written articles in favor of government censorship of art. I can almost hear the goose stepping now. When he was in office, George W. Bush appointed over a dozen people from AEI to senior positions within his administration and they helped promote his war machine. Reportedly, they offered money to scientists who would dispute a climate change study. They’re big on the whole “anti-lobbying” thing and I’m guessing that that’s because you don’t need to lobby when you’ve already got people in positions of influence within the actual government. Once upon a time, Kenneth Lay (of Enron fame) and Dick Cheney were on the board of trustees; Dinesh D’Souza is a fellow there. And its current incarnation has ties to both ALEC and the Koch brothers. AEI’s affiliate, Charles Murray, published The Bell Curve in the 1990s; it established IQ was a determinant of socio-economic status. But that’s not the only issue.  

IDGI: Christina Hoff Sommers Fans


Cobra/Destro finally been suspended for abusive tweets directed at me. Yep, the guy responsible for those abusive tweets almost exactly one year ago is finally suspended for abusive tweets directed at me. Tweets he made six months after I blocked him and only found a couple of weeks ago. Actually it wasn’t even tweets; he made a single tweet in July. He said no one would ever want someone as ugly as me. Mild for him. When I saw it, I remembered part of their reasoning for not punishing him in January and February of last year was that I had interacted with him. This time I didn’t. I reported the tweet, detailed the initial encounter, reminded them that Cobra was permabanned for abuse, and pointed out that he was continuing the abuse on anyone who disagreed on his Destro account.1 And this time it worked. I’m feeling such relief about it right now. I know he will use his other account to harass people and he might harass me again. But I just feel so much better knowing he could be stopped in some way. That what he did has finally been acknowledged by Twitter to be abuse. It makes me even more thankful that I didn’t end up taking my life last year after those tweets. I was so close and I’m so glad I didn’t. Last year started so rough2 but it was so good in the end3. I’m glad I stuck around. He’ll probably do so on his TheDrMindbender account, so I hope whoever he targets reports him. ↩thanks to him ↩thanks to my friends, family, LMAP, A, and me ↩

It Wasn’t the Rectal Jokes



The Proposition by Katie Ashley My rating: 1 of 5 stars I’m not really sure what other people are seeing in this book when they rate it so highly. It wasn’t good. Emma is clearly in need of some therapy to get over her fiancé’s death. The dude died four years earlier and she’s still treating it like it’s the first day after his death. I think that her inability to truly get over his death is part of why she is so obsessed with having a baby before she turns thirty. (Unless she has a full-on fertility issue, she shouldn’t be as concerned about being almost 30 and baby-less. And clearly she doesn’t, since it only takes a couple of tries.) Aidan’s proposition was also pretty shameful and could be considered sexual harassment. He isn’t seducing her. He isn’t really even helping her. He wanted to have sex with her and she turned him down, so he uses her obsession with having a baby to advance his own agenda. That’s not a sign of a caring and giving person. There were some serious issues with overzealous religious types. Emma’s backwoods family get-together was so trope-y that I almost expect it to be a prequel for Deliverance. I could almost hear the banjos playing in the background as I read. I know a lot of people still have issues with the idea of out of wedlock pregnancies, but these people were a bit over the top about it. And then there was the male entitlement and slut-shaming. A cleaning lady at the office simply smiled at Aidan and he thought she was being a tease. That’s pretty indicative of some of the more problematic thinking that went on in this book. Of course, it fits in well with the previously mentioned Wanna Baby attitude that Emma has, the religious nuts, and Emma’s judgmental tendencies toward certain sex positions. (Who knew that kitchen sex was trashy? Only Emma and some people who probably have very boring sex lives.) Women are treated as sex objects whose only real importance is to provide pleasure for the men and babies to continue the human race. Basically, women are just ovaries, a uterus, and a vagina, but not in the well-written, let’s-stop-thinking-this-way style of The Handmaid’s Tale. No, this is one that PROMOTES the idea that the only value a woman has is her fertility and her ability to make a guy orgasm. Very, very backwards. Very, very gross. It was extremely easy to read. Sometimes ease of reading is a good thing, but in this book it most certainly wasn’t. It was too easy to read. There wasn’t really enough going on in the story, which made it too short. It also left it feeling like she didn’t truly put effort into the story. There was a lot of rushing going on and the sex was boring. There was no chemistry between the characters, which meant that the entire story felt very flat. I knew going into the book that it wasn’t going to be some great work of literature, which is why I waited until I found a copy at my local library. Of course there was a cliffhanger, so the author wants you to pay up so you can find out what happens next. She needn’t have done that because this book was short enough that another 200 pages or so wouldn’t have been some horrifying reading task. I can only assume that she split the book into two parts because she wants the moolah. Well, I have no intention of buying the other books because the quality is so low and the story-line/style is so offensive. I may want to know what happens with these characters, but I will only find out if I stumble across a copy of them at the library. And I really hope that my library doesn’t buy the other books because they could spend that money on much better books. View all my reviews

Review: The Proposition


I mentioned in my post about blocking that I’ve started blocking abusive people; sometimes before they insult me. I left something out.1 Seeing the same sort of harassment being perpetrated against others has led me to follow other frequently harassed people. It’s kind of funny. The abuse and harassment is meant to degrade and dehumanize people; it is meant to make them feel alone in the world. For me, it provided me with new friends and acquaintances. It gave me a group of people with similar beliefs to laugh and joke with. The abuse backfired. In trying to tear down individuals, it brought them together. I won’t say that the abusive comments didn’t hurt or that they didn’t impact me in a negative way. They did. But I’m choosing to look at the positive side of the whole issue. I’m choosing to acknowledge the new friendships and the fun that came with them as being more important to me than the hateful words of some asshole online. Intentionally. ↩

Unexpected Effect



At the beginning of this year, I had the fun experience of having some assholes calling me a whore and trying to meme my face. It was a rough time. I started self-injuring more. I had suicidal moments. I was not doing well for a while, even after I blocked those involved. In the time since then I’ve blocked other people who were shitty to me, including former friends and complete strangers. I’ve also blocked people I have never interacted with. Some were known for stalking and assaulting feminists offline. Some were on Level 1 or Level 2 of The Block Bot for harassing and abusing people. Others are part of sites like A Voice for Men, or friends/supporters of those who run sites like AVFM. There are celebrities and their groupies who tweet sexist, racist, homophobic, anti-Islam stuff. There are members of GG that I’ve preemptively blocked after seeing them harass others. And I would block these same individuals again. Even after receiving crap from them on their secondary accounts. Even after making the “block list” by a stalker for simply following other feminists. Even after receiving harassing and threatening tweets for retweeting something by someone that one of these people doesn’t like. I don’t have to put up with their crap. I don’t want to either. I might enjoy a little arguing from time to time, but there are only so many times a woman can be called a dumb man hating slut who is so ugly no one would want to fuck her let alone rape her.123 People who make this sort of statement to, about, or near me get blocked. I do it because I don’t deserve that sort of crap in mentions. I do it because I spent twenty years in therapy; trying to break through trauma and self hatred and having biological predispositions to having mental health issues. I do it because I have had happy minutes, hours, and days. I do it because I’m finally allowing myself to be a true and living person, one who dates, who makes plans, and who leaves her house multiple times a week. I don’t want to be the completely broken girl who trolls could tear down so easily, so I block them to help make sure it doesn’t happen. So if you’re blocked from my Twitter account, that’s why. And if you’re wondering why someone else would preemptively block another person, maybe it’s for reasons similar to mine. Really you don’t have to know why. If a person blocks another person, then it should not matter to you why they have, even if you’re the one being blocked. It’s not your business. It’s theirs. Paraphrasing what became, at times, a daily greeting. ↩Look at the logic in that statement. ↩These are also the people who believe in vast feminist conspiracies. ↩

Blockfest ’14


2
If you haven’t heard of the craziness that is Kathleen Hale, then prepare to be schooled. I need to rant about her exploits in craziness. There are some people who are just so messed up that it baffles me how they even function. Kathleen Hale is one of these people. Maybe her success in getting published or in staying out of prison is that people feel sorry for her. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t look like she could be all that threatening, but looks can be deceiving. After all, I bet that bunny didn’t think Glenn Close looked all that threatening. Kathleen Hale is a writer.1 Her debut novel came out earlier this year. According to her, there were people who loved it and there were people who hated it. According to her own confession article, she seems to understand why people might be a little turned off by the book, at first. But then she fixates on one negative review in particular.2 Most people3 tell her not to engage with that reviewer, but she chooses not to pay attention to the warning. Instead, she does background checks, travels to the reviewer’s house (multiple times), harasses the reviewer on the phone (multiple times), checks out the reviewer’s personal social media accounts, and then writes a “pity me” story for The Guardian about how this reviewer wasn’t completely honest online. The story outs the reviewer and gives away some pretty personal information about the reviewer. Most people aren’t completely forthright on the internet. At least, not in public spaces. There are little things that they might decide to fudge. If a person wants to review books under a pseudonym, let them. Chances are they do that because they feel safer doing things that way. Do you know what might make them feel less safe? An author coming to their house because they made a bad review. That’s sort of totally fucked up. And it isn’t the first time that this particular author has done this sort of thing. In 2013, Hale wrote about a childhood acquaintance who made false accusations about Hale’s mother molesting her.4 Her solution, as an adolescent, to finding out that her mom had had charges filed against her was to throw peroxide on the accuser.5 She got arrested, but was released. After this, she monitored the girl’s AIM buddy list. When she finally saw the girl sign-on, she sent her multiple messages. Police showed up at her house and she was shocked. And she tried to grab the spotlight while explaining her harassment of the girl.6 She wanted the pity again, which is really all she deserves. Well, that and jail-time. Somehow, she has people supporting her in her bad decisions. There are people on Twitter who have called anyone who points out that she’s a stalker a psychopath or a sociopath. Except that they’re missing that those of us who point this out are empathizing with a person who’s been stalked, doxxed, and humiliated by a writer over a bad review. Yeah, that requires a real lack of compassion. I was unaware that feeling sorry for the victim of a crime was a socially unacceptable thing to do. I hope that Hale gets the help that she obviously needs. If she doesn’t, then I hope she joins some Luddite organization that makes it harder to stalk people she doesn’t like. And I hope that people will seriously consider putting Hale on their personal author/book blacklists because having an opinion on her books could be risky. For more on this whole situation, I’d recommend checking out the post about it on Dear Author. Considering how many blacklists she’s been placed on, maybe I should say that she was a writer. A successful career in fiction may be a pipe dream now. ↩She also harassed a person who wrote a 3-star review. ↩Her mom is not one of them. She actually encourages her to continue finding more out about this girl. ↩“Her” meaning the acquaintance, not the writer. ↩An action her mother thanked her for. ↩Her step-mom: You know that girl has bigger problems than you do. Police officer: You think after everything else the girl needs this?Hale: Those charges were dropped. We sued them back for defamation of character but we lost a lot of money and now there’s nothing we can do. Just because Lori is messed up doesn’t mean I’m not.Police officer: Aren’t you the one who attacked her with some kind of chemical? I wouldn’t go around pointing fingers if I were you — you’re the lucky one. ↩

A Special Kind of Crazy