This post contains GIFs. Sorry. “You even called me stupid in your verse, and I’m almost agreeing, for where stupidity is involved, you are quite an expert, friend.” – Franz Grillparzer I had group therapy today; the Debbie group, not the Seeking Safety/Mary group. While I was waiting, two of the other group members came in. One is Shrill1 , the woman who has the history of five abusive husbands was talking to Cyberman. She was swinging her bottle of Pepsi Wild Cherry back and forth as she walked, which didn’t seem like the best idea, but I wasn’t going to say anything.2 Cyberman came and stood in front of me with his hand held out, like he wanted a high five or something. Source. Actually, I know him. Obviously. I have a nickname for him after all. We’ve been in groups together for a while and he’s talked to me one-on-one before, but he has this tendency to invade personal space, so it shouldn’t have shocked me that he thought this was okay. But it did. Source. Anyway, he was looking at me like he thought I thought that he had cooties–and he could have. I eventually stuck my hand in his hand. He said something about how it shouldn’t have taken me that long to stick my hand out. I made up some line about how it was due to him wearing a t-shirt promoting the University of Alabama on it. While that did play a part,3 the bigger issue was my haphephobia45 kicking in, but I couldn’t exactly take the time to tell him, “Dude, I don’t want to shake your hand or high five you because I’m nuts like that.” Source. Surprisingly, after I shook his hand, he walked away. He semi-introduced me to Shrill because he didn’t realize that I had met the woman before. I guess it was a good thing that she didn’t remember me because that would have been embarrassing for him. She would have called him on it. I turned away from them because, as I’m guessing is becoming more and more apparent here, I really don’t like them. Two women came through the waiting room with this two year old boy. One was his grandmother and, like so many grandmothers, she had gum and he wanted it. She was trying to get him to introduce himself to these two nuts and he was scared. Good instincts, kid.6 Anyway, Shrill declared that the kid would grow out of his shyness. She also decided to announce to the room that she was never shy. I’m pretty sure that no one was surprised by this. Before group, Shrill asked Cyberman if he had had cherry-flavored Pepsi before and he told her he hadn’t. She told him it was new7 and he told her that he was more into Dr. Pepper.8 She said that she was trying not to drink any regular Pepsi because she “saw on Facebook” how it had something “really horrible” in it and that she wanted to physically assault Obama because of it.9 Cyberman asked her what was in them and she told him that Pepsi contained the cells from aborted fetuses. She went on to say the whole spiel about the cells being used for flavor enhancement. My dad and I were sitting there and I was trying so hard not to react, but I eventually turned toward her and said: “That rumor was debunked about four years ago.”10 She looked at me and I realized that she probably didn’t know what debunked meant11, so I said, “It’s a hoax.” Again, this seemed to confuse her.12 “It’s fake.” She looked relieved and took a swig of her drink. Source. I guess she was having trouble controlling her Pepsi habit even though she believed that it contained aborted fetuses. Or maybe she likes them a little older? Now that she no longer felt all cannibalistic for her continued soda addiction, she said, “Well, it was on Facebook.” I turned my head around before rolling my eyes about that. My dad was mumbling, “Facebook isn’t Gospel, people.” Source. Other people who were out of that conversation seemed to be shaking their heads, but this other woman who completely believed the line about the aborted fetuses said: “Well, I saw this thing on Facebook the other day that you shouldn’t eat burgers from McDonald’s because someone got Herpes from their mayonnaise.” Shrill said that she would no longer be getting burgers from Mickey D’s, because all other rumors from Facebook still have to be legit. I have seen a lot of people fall for hoaxes online and it bothers me. It’s not that hard to debunk this stuff. I almost feel like making a guide for how you can figure this stuff out, except it isn’t even that hard. All you have to do is type in words from the rumor into a search engine and press enter. Source. To just find out about hoaxes with those keywords, you type “site:snopes.com” and the words. This stuff is so simple that small children could do this. Source. I know that not every person is internet savvy. My mom isn’t very internet savvy, but she does understand how Google works. If she can figure out how to do the whole search engine thing, then they can, too. This is part of why I hate going to this particular group. I’m about ready to ask Debbie if she can just switch me back to individual sessions. They’re letting therapists do that again, so maybe that would be a better thing for me. Her voice is textbook when it comes to shrillness. ↩While I would have greatly enjoyed seeing it explode and spew cola foam all over her, I wasn’t going to say anything to her about it because I hate to draw attention to myself. ↩Team loyalty is important down here. ↩It’s a real and rare specific phobia where you fear being touched. It causes actual physical and […]

For where stupidity is involved, you are quite an expert, ...

I’m pro-choice. I have been for twenty years now. I will be until my death. There is nothing that can be said or done that will change this. This leads to a lot of bad shit. People say a lot of shitty stuff when they find out that you’re pro-choice.1 Today I posted a link from NARAL on my Facebook profile that promoted an editorial in the LA Times. I had a friend respond with this–beware, it’s a bit gross:2 Have you ever had an abortion? How about an abortion where the EXPERTS were wrong on the age(12 weeks when it was actually 16) of the fetus? How about hearing the heart beat of a fetus at 12 weeks? No, I highly doubt you have. Having to go through an abortion that when the EXPERTS finally realized the actually age of the fetus with a strong heart beat and could actually determine the gender and yet still performed the abortion? To be awake to hear them auctioning out a fetus of 16 weeks, a heart beat, a gender if female and in doing so you hear them say oops as they puncture your uterus resulting in bleeding out? No I highly doubt you have? While waiting in the waiting room and hearing some stupid girl who brag on how it was her THIRD ABORTION and how she found it a great choice in birth control. This country and the people of this generation have lost ALL RESPECT of morals and how to be responsible for their actions. We have become a disposable world, even of life. The following is my response to this friend. There is also a quote included that is even more grotesque than the one above. I have not had an abortion, nor would I ever plan on having one. I do believe in individual choice. I have morals and I am very responsible. I just believe that it is not my right to make a decision on another woman’s health. And, before you ask, I have heard the argument that the decision to have an abortion ends up affecting the life of the fetus. The problem with that argument is that the fetus involved is depending on the life of the mother to survive. If a woman chooses not to carry a child to term, she should have safe, legal alternatives. Abortion is not a new concept. It existed before the decision in Roe v. Wade. All that that decision really did was give women access to safe, legal abortions. Abortions that were a lot less likely to end in the death of both the mother and child. Abortions that were a lot less likely to take away the fertility of the woman because of some infection. And every time that politicians and lobbyists try to take away the availability to those abortions, they endanger the lives of women. This is a quote from Jessica Valenti’s book The Purity Myth: “A woman in South Dakota who wants to get an abortion, for example, is subject to so many hurdles—geographic, financial, and legal—that getting an abortion is near impossible. Sarah Stoesz, president of Planned Parenthood Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, says that in her region, the obstacles make don’t women so desperate that they take matters info their own hands. “Stoesz tells me the story of an eighteen-year-old living in western South Dakota who had an unplanned pregnancy. Because of financial constraints that prevented her from traveling across the state to the Planned Parenthood clinic in eastern South Dakota, this young woman inserted a toothpick into her cervix in desperation, hoping it would induce an abortion. After several days, she became afraid and called a local doctor to help her. The doctor informed her that removing the toothpick from her cervix might cause an abortion, so he refused to see her.” After all sorts of obstacles were put in this woman’s way, she endangered her life by this desperate act because she didn’t want a child. When people argue against abortions, this is the alternative. It’s either the life of the potentially aborted fetus or the life of both the fetus and the mother. If people really wanted the abortion rate to go down, then we would have things like stronger (more informative) sex education classes. We would provide easier access to birth control, rather than have court cases like with Hobby Lobby, to prevent access. In places where abortion and adequate sex education classes are in place, the rate of unwanted pregnancies and abortion is lower. If you want to stop the abortions and have younger people be “more responsible”, then fight for that, instead of against abortions. Because when you really look at what causes the abortion rate to go down, it’s birth control and sex ed–not attempting to slut-shame, not accusing people of being irresponsible, not victim-blaming. No, if you want people to “be more responsible”, you make it so that being responsible doesn’t cost them their job or get them kicked out by their parents or isn’t so expensive that they can’t afford it. You teach them their options and ban education techniques that only promote abstinence or that give faulty information. You let them know the actual failure rates. You react with honesty and compassion. If they decide to have an abortion, you continue to have compassion for them. You believe that they know what is best for their lives. I know that’s what I’d want if it were me. I am the only person who gets to make a decision about my health. A doctor can make recommendations. My family can make their objections known. I’m the one who has the say because I’m a person and I know what is best for me. I don’t know what’s best for my friends or my family or for total strangers and they don’t know what’s best for me. It’s called bodily autonomy and respecting it means that you respect another person. And […]

If You Wanna be Pro-Life, Be Pro-Sex Education

Remember how excited I was about the date? Yeah, I shouldn’t have been. No, it wasn’t a bad date. It wasn’t an any kind of date. You see, it takes two people to have a date. One person didn’t show up. And the no-show wasn’t me. Yeah, I got stood up. On the same night I was accused by an ex-friend1 of being full of myself,23 I got stood up. I knew from friends and pop culture that it was painful, but I didn’t realize just how bad it actually felt. I was humiliated. I felt like everyone around me could tell what was happening. I felt like every bad thing I’d ever been told about myself and every bad thing that I’ve ever felt about myself was true. And I felt ridiculous for feeling that way. This wasn’t some guy that I had secretly pined after. It wasn’t someone I knew or who knew me. It was just some random guy. Sure, he is one of the few guys who has ever told me that I’m attractive, which boosted my self-esteem, but I don’t know him. So it felt silly to be sad over him not showing up. I was still sad, though. And pissed. And I felt like it was my fault that he didn’t show up. Maybe I was too forward asking him out. Maybe he decided that I wasn’t smart enough for him. Maybe he decided I wasn’t pretty enough for him. Or maybe he got to the mall and saw me and left. I kept putting all of the blame on me, but I know that it isn’t really my fault. I showed up. I had some doubts after we agreed on the date, but I showed up. I didn’t know if there was enough between us to matter, but I showed up. I didn’t know if I saw him in person if I would still feel attracted to him, but I showed up. I showed up and he didn’t, so I should blame him. On a cognitive level, I do. On an emotional one, I don’t. I didn’t binge after it happened, and I could have. I definitely could have since the meeting was to take place in the food court of the mall. The food court has a Ben & Jerry’s. I considered going to town on that. I didn’t want to mess with my lactose intolerance, though.4 But I did consider it. I also considered never eating again.5 I didn’t self-injure afterward, and I could have. I won’t say that I didn’t think about it because I did. I texted, watched some television, took a shower, laughed at things posted on Twitter and Tumblr,6 argued with the ex-friend on Twitter and Facebook,7 and cried.8 I cried until my face burned. I cried until my eyes hurt. I cried and I silently screamed for minutes. And then I went back to my life and tried to move past it. It sucks to be stood up, but I guess that’s part of dating and part of life. I would just advise people who date that calling to let someone know that you’re not coming is a lot nicer than just leaving them high and dry. I would have felt better knowing that he wasn’t interested than I did in just sitting there feeling like I was defective and ugly and would be alone forever.9 So, I know that if I ever have to bail on someone, I would definitely try to get a hold of them so that they wouldn’t go through that. But I’m trying not to let this experience keep me from going out more. Hopefully, it won’t. Maybe I should take a little advice from Yoda on this. “Do… or do not. There is no try.”1011 She wasn’t an ex-friend until she decided to out herself as homophobic. ↩Because people who have low self-esteem are always full of themselves. ↩Also, she called me a “know-it-all”. I’m not a know-it-all. I’m a pedantic and a literalist, but I’m not a know-it-all. There is a difference. Considering that I also have OCD, it makes sense that I would have those issues. ↩Don’t wake that sleeping beast unless it’s absolutely necessary. ↩I’ve started thinking about that more lately. ↩On Tumblr, there was a big discussion of Jesus participating in threesomes. This carried over to Twitter, where I mentioned that there should be a list of the most fuckable portrayals of Jesus. ↩Somehow she doesn’t seem to realize that wanting separate levels of civil rights for certain groups = being a bigot. Someone apparently hasn’t learned much about the history of civil rights and oppression, aka the history of the fucking world. ↩I cried over the being stood up, not the shitty friend or the lack of fuckable Jesuses in my life. ↩When you start pondering what breed of cat to start a crazy cat lady collection with, you know you’ve hit a pretty low spot in your self-esteem. ↩Meditate on this I will. ↩Much to learn, you still have. ↩

Better Days to Come

“ Funny how you (a friend of Jennifer) friended me today. Funny how you came across a post only available to friends of mine on my personal Facebook profile on the day Jennifer needed someone to back her up. Funny how you accuse me of ganging up on her, when I was responding to her posts that she made on my page, but you don’t see yourself as being guilty of the same thing. Now, how did I establish that marriage equality & adoption of LGBTQ couples is a civil right? From the UN. http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/#atop My issue with the gender role concept has to do with the reality that we are starting to realize that the concept of gender is just a social construct. I addressed the problems with Jennifer’s claims and with the data she used to back up those claims. Opinions when used as she did (in a false claim) can be wrong. http://www.auburn.edu/academic/education/reading_genie/Fact-opinion.html ” – When I found this post via Tumblr Also, it’s funny how almost 24-hours have passed & my comment still isn’t up.

“Funny how you (a friend of Jennifer) friended me today. ...

WHNT News 19 – Timeline Photos | Facebook: STATE EXECUTIONS ON HOLD: An Alabama lawmaker says it will be next spring before the state can resume executing death row inmates. Pharmaceutical… I was going to post captures from this post, but there is just so much hate and ignorance going on that it’d be better for you to see this way. You know the phrase lynch mob? Well, that’s what they’ve turned into. They are actually volunteering rope and bullets to execute the death row inmates in the state. via Tumblr

And so it continues. via Tumblr I know that Phyllis can’t remember all of the ages of her nieces and nephews. I mean, she did have 10 siblings that made it to adulthood and had offspring. And since I’m the child of one of those offspring, I am one of her many great-nieces. Thus I understand why she might not remember that I was born in 1984. Shirley Chisholm retired from Congress in 1982 and was out of office in January of 1983. I never experienced her political career. I can’t hold Phyllis not remembering that against her.

And so it continues.

It’s nice to know where your mind was at on that one, Aunt Phyllis. via Tumblr I re-posted this quote on Facebook and Aunt Phyllis, Dadada’s1 sister responded to it. Notice that the quote says absolutely nothing about politics. It doesn’t say anything about how race or politics are connected. It just says that we’ve allowed racism to become normalized. This could refer to things like immigration or the racial disparities in the criminal justice system or how despite desegregation policies, schools are still pretty much divided along race lines or to voter suppression laws that get approved because they “sound right” to people. It doesn’t mean that people2 who disagree with a particular politician3 are racist because they disagree with him.4 It just means that we have a culture where we don’t challenge bigotry. Now, as for the hatred of liberals, it’s good to know that she feels that way since I’m a liberal. It’s nice to be told, in a backhanded sort of way, that your own aunt doesn’t really like you.5 I already had figured that little tidbit out because of the whole “Aunt” Judy birthday hate where a birthday greeting turned negative and how Phyllis ripped on Heather for defending me against Judy’s comments. This kind of post isn’t all that unexpected. It’s just a typical Morris family thing. The bad grandfather. ↩Republicans ↩Obama ↩Some are. ↩Thumbs up for that one. ↩

Nice to Know Where Your Mind Was At