A few weeks ago, I decided that I definitely needed to start wearing makeup again. But there was a problem. I’m not sure if I’ve ever even mentioned it. You see, I’m a ginger. I know, I know. It’s so surprising. I’ve never even had the courage to tell my parents. But it’s a relief that I can finally bring it up.  Being a ginger means a lot of things: not getting to wear orange, buying sunscreen by the palette, having my parentage questioned, being touched without my permission, and having limited choices in makeup. Or so I thought. As I perused the Internet for makeup suggestions for redheads, I came across article after article by non-gingers that, more often than not, had no actual redheads in them.1 I was beginning to lose hope when I came across this video featuring makeup artist Mary Greenwell. She was explaining how she did Jessica Chastain’s makeup. I figured that a professional makeup artist who has worked with a natural redhead might know get shit when it comes to makeup for redheads. In the video, she said redheads can wear any color. After recovering from the massive fainting spell that caused, I began to wonder if that could possibly be true. So I got myself some lipstick2 and decided to try out her theory. And to save my fellow gingers3 from having to look at pictures of Emma Stone & Christina Hendricks, I decided to post about it.4 I don’t have any dark lipsticks, nor do I have any neon/vibrant color lipsticks. I want to buy some plums and darker shades, but, because I can’t otherwise see myself wearing them, I will only try vibrant ones if someone else foots the bill for them. In all of these pictures, the only makeup I have on is the lipstick that I’m demonstrating. OMG. Emma Stone, Christina Hendricks are NOT redheads. A bottle of dye does not a ginger make. Stop saying they’re redheads. ↩By got myself, I mean that I bought them and the comments listed below are not influenced by any company, spokesperson, etc. They are my opinions and words. ↩Because I’m nice, not because I’m a shill. ↩You’re welcome. ↩

Lip-Shtick Service 

For Such a Time by Kate Breslin My rating: 1 of 5 stars Recommended for: Anne Rice; anyone who thinks that the dislike of this book is unfounded; bigots I’ve read many books that I could classify as “bad books” over the years, but this one is quite special in how awful it truly was. There was nothing enjoyable about Kate Breslin’s debut novel For Such a Time. First, let’s tackle something that was brought up repeatedly in the book and in its official descriptions. The lead female character Hadassah Benjamin (known through most of the novel as Stella Muller) has blonde hair and blue eyes. On the back of the copy I checked out of the local library, it is specifically described as, “her Aryan-like looks allow her to hide behind the false identity of Stella Muller.” According to the official description on Amazon’s app, the description starts, “In 1944, blonde and blue-eyed Jewess Hadassah Benjamin feels abandoned by God when she is saved from a firing squad only to be handed over to a new enemy.” On page 14 of the story, she is described this way, “Morty once told her that her beauty would save her–a “changeling,” he’d called his young niece, Stella’s blond hair and blue eyes a rarity among their people.” Early in the war, this might have protected her, but it wouldn’t have been guaranteed. When you consider that Werner Goldberg, the man who was literally the poster boy for the Aryan ideal, was expelled from the army in 1940 when it was discovered he was a “1st degree Mischilinge” and had to help his father escape a hospital in 1943 so that he wouldn’t be deported to Auschwitz, you can be sure that appearance wouldn’t guarantee the safety of a non-influential light-haired, light-eyed Jewish girl. And the supposed rarity of the trait is questionable due to the fact that now 32% of German-Jewish children also have blond hair. Brown (light and dark) and black hair each have slightly percentages than that. One would assume that the dark hair stereotype is just that, a stereotype. By focusing so much attention on the appearance of this woman who is also described as a savior, it is promoting a white supremacist ideal of beauty and moral value, while simultaneously justifying that ideal’s belief of punishing those who don’t fit their narrow standards of beauty. Somehow her beauty is able to trick Aric into believing that she isn’t really Jewish and that the papers that have been stamped saying that she is must have been wrong. Aric will eventually blame her for not telling him that she is Jewish and for not telling him that she did not support the Nazi’s cause. This is after he has seen her traumatized at the brutal killing of Anna while in a camp. He saw that this broke her spirit, but he believes she still might be willing to support Hitler and his group of bigoted, sociopathic thugs. Her beauty and position as Aric’s secretary also seem to convince every Nazi officer that she must be a prostitute. She even calls herself a “brazen hussy” when she is forced to kis Hermann in order to save the life of Joseph, Aric’s houseboy. And Hermann muses that she is a sorceress using her beauty to bewitch the Commandant into sympathizing with the prisoners. (Of course, Hermann also calls women weak-minded and mere vessels for man’s use, so he’s not exactly a great example of non-sexist thinking.) Another serious issue is the repeated use of rape and assault as a way to threaten Hadassah/Stella into doing things & the underlying Stockholm Syndrome-esque quality of the relationship between her and Aric. When she first meets Aric von Schmidt, she tells him that the Gestapo assaulted her in some way and suggests that it may have been a sexual assault attempt. He classifies their behavior as a prank. Twenty five pages into the book, he threatens her with being returned to Dachau while he tries to seduce her. She is reminded over and over that she is essentially his prisoner, that she has no true sense of free will or personhood, but that she should be thankful for his saving her and for his attraction to her. When she has a traumatic flashback in a nightmare around page 47, Aric expects her to be thankful that he’s moved her to Czechoslovakia with him, but he’s threatening her with being sent back. He even uses sexual innuendo in these conversations, while having no regard for the suffering that she has been through. All that he cares about is that attraction he has. And he tries to make that attraction seem more important than what he knows, as he witnessed some of it, she’s been through. He threatens her when she doesn’t want to do as he has told her, tells her he will send her to Dachau for not eating, forces her to eat food pork, forces her to type of the lists sending prisoners to Auschwitz, forces her to sit through meals as Aric and other SS officers talk about the benefits of slave labor in the camps and ghettos, threatens to kill people unless she kisses him, and forces her to agree to marry him. As I read the story, I saw his behavior as similar to Christian Grey’s behavior in the Fifty Shades series, only Aric was so much more vile. When the book started, Hadassah saw Aric as a “Jew Killer” and a potential threat to her safety. By page 82, she has begun to trust him, while knowing that he could turn on her at any moment if he found out who/what she really is. This is so reminiscent of Stockholm Syndrome. She is living in the home of an SS-Commandant and sees him as a good person who doesn’t really want to hurt Jews. She doesn’t recognize that he continuously fails to show real compassion for the prisoners in […]

Review: For Such a Time

There is a difference between pointing out to someone that they have a weight issue and “calling” them fat. When it is used as an insult, it’s meant to degrade and objectify the person. It’s meant to tell them that they are worthless because that’s how media portrays overweight/obese people. I’m not completely sure how it works within the context of a partnered relationship, but calling someone fat is definitely a form of verbal and psychological abuse. Interestingly, there is a correlation of various types of abuse in childhood and a person’s likelihood of one day being an overweight or obese adult. So, it may be considered aggressive to call an adult fat because it could potentially trigger that person to think about issues that they had as a child and abuse that they went through at that time. I base that on my personal experiences of being called fat as an adult triggering memories of childhood abuse that was related to my weight and that actually caused the weight. Last night, I posted that comment as a response to someone saying, “How is telling someone they are fat abusive? Some people are fat. That’s how they’re bodies are. Is it that calling them fat is abusive or is it making their perceived fatness into an insult that is abusive? Because telling me I’m fat is like telling me I’m crude. Neither may be meant as a compliment, but both are correct.” I thought I had done a decent job with my response. I didn’t see how anyone could find it offensive, but apparently I was wrong and now my inbox is paying for my mistake. First, from the person I initially responded to: “Janet, I do not have a “weight issue”. Fuck that shit. You may have an issue with my weight, but I’m just fat. Do not try to tell me that the way I am is an insult or that likening other people to me is abuse. OK? That’d be great.” And, then, the ones where people obsessed on the first line and disregarded everything else. But why would you point that out to anyone? It’s not like they don’t know! It’s not like it’s any of your fucking business! So you want to go around, pointing out the obvious to someone, that they have failed to live up to modern standards of the appropriate size, that people are judging them for that every day, and you think that’s not rude? On what fucking planet? The only difference I can see is that one method is deemed* “politer” than the other. But telling someone either way is fucking rude. *by idiots who think that the exact content of the message is important.” “There’s also (and I’m prolly repeating at least one person, but wottheheck) the matter that being fat is not automatically an issue. Fat doesn’t equal unhealthy, but even if it did, it’s still rude and stupid to bring the matter up with someone, especially a stranger. “No, they’re pretty much the same thing, except that the former is more passive-aggressive. I mean, why would you tell someone that? They know what they weigh. If you’re worried abou their health, well, diets don’t work in the long term. And being fat is much much less of a health issue than most people think. It’s a bit like walking up to someone with a mole on their cheek and saying, “hey you’ve git a mole on your cheek!” It serves no purpose except to make that person feel more self-conscious. And studies have shown that making people self-conscious about their weight is more likely to lead to weight gain than weight loss.” “I can’t imagine a situation in which it would be helpful or appropriate for anyone (other than a person’s medical advisers) to make uninvited comments on a person’s weight.” “Re: People pointing out how much others weigh: I fucking hate that. I avoid going out to meet relatives and certain acquaintances if I even have the slightest suspicion that I’ve put on weight since the last time we met. I’m unfortunate enough to know way too many people who just love pointing out that I’ve gained some weight. Most of all I hate meeting SO’s mother, who takes these really annoying shots at tapping at my belly and smiling mockingly. Who does that? Do people like this really think I haven’t noticed I’ve gained weight? Do they seriously think being mocked for it is going to inspire me to lose weight? If running 10-16 km a day and eating around 1,000 calories less than what I need in a day isn’t making me lose fat, then I don’t know what to tell you. Not that they’d believe all this, of course, since being overweight is just a sign of being lazy and loving to eat and shitfuckshitfuckargh (And no, I’m not saying men are generally shamed for being fat. I guess I just have fucking annoying people around me and a tendency to take things far too personally.)” “So, um, why do we need to point out to people that they have “a weight issue”? People presumably know roughly what their own weight and/or size is, given that they have to, you know, buy clothes for themselves and stuff. Are you under the impression that you are giving them new and potentially revelatory information when you oh so kindly inform them that they are not slim? I’m just not seeing how being passive-aggressive about it makes it any nicer, or why people are doing it in the first place.” ““Oh, hey! Did you know that you’re in a wheel chair? Is it because you can’t walk, or are you just THAT LAZY?” STFU -_-;” ““You are short! Like, really short!” “I had noticed, yeah.” “Well, have you considered getting taller? I hear they can do marvelous things now by breaking the bones in your legs and putting bits of metal in.”” So, I tried to […]

I’ll Take Missing the Point for $200, Alex

When I got online this afternoon, I saw that “Lester” left 2 comments on the Facebook page about the Op-Ed by Marc E. Angelucci on the conference in Detroit. My response to his two postings got to be a little wordy, so I thought that I would post it here. Hi. You don’t know me, but you decided to share your link on my Facebook page for my blog. Perhaps you thought that this would enlighten me or sway me to your side of this discussion. It won’t. I don’t like MRAs and I have a very good reason for this. You see, despite what the movement claims, no actions are really taking place within it to improve the lives and rights of men. Most of what goes on is bashing of women, declaring us to be misandrists; telling male feminists that they’re playing for the wrong team or that they are emasculating themselves. Basically, a lot of bullying and very little actual activism, which sucks because there are a lot of issues that impact men that deserve to be advocated for. In the Op-Ed, Angelucci suggested that people who paint MRAs in a negative light were ignorant. I can assure you that this is not true. In a lot of cases the people who criticize the movement are actually very aware of what has been said and what has been done. When MRAs are called misogynists, it’s because they are. When Chris Brown attempted to kill Rihanna and she decided to file charges against him, it was the National Coalition for Men (which Angelucci states he is the Vice President of) that decided that it should criticize Rihanna for speaking up against Brown. It was also the National Coalition Men that declared that their support would go to a GOP backed version of Violence Against Women Act, which would have empowered abusers not victims. H.R. 4970 was not only anti-women, it was also homophobic and would have denied rights to gay males who were victims of domestic and sexual violence. The Senate version of the bill (S. 1925) would have protected all victims of domestic violence. This makes his group hypocritical with regard to concern for the rights of all men. Now, with regard to the actual conference, I refuse to change my opinion on a conference that has speakers who have advocated or been apologists for abuse. Warren Farrell “When I get my most glowing positive cases, 6 out of 200, the incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection. It is more likely that the father has good sex with his wife, and his wife is likely to know and approve — and in one or two cases to join in.” “First, because millions of people who are now refraining from touching, holding, and genitally caressing their children, when that is really a part of a caring, loving expression, are repressing the sexuality of a lot of children and themselves. Maybe this needs repressing, and maybe it doesn’t. My book should at least begin the exploration, Partial scan of the issue. “Second, I’m finding that thousands of people in therapy for incest are being told, in essence , that their lives have been ruined by incest. In fact, their lives have not generally been affected as much by the incest as by the overall atmosphere. My book should help therapists put incest in perspective.” “The average incest participant can’t evaluate his or her experience for what it was. As soon as society gets into the picture, they have to tell themselves it was bad. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.” “Incest is like a magnifying glass, in some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of a relationship, and it others it magnifies the trauma.” “Most women’s ideal is to not be sexual until nine conditions are met: physical attraction; respect; emotional compatibility; intelligence; singleness; success (or potential ); being asked out; being paid for; and the man risking rejection by initiating the first kiss…. Men want sex as long as only one condition is met—physical attraction.” “In San Diego there is a highly popular course called How to Marry Money. Note that the marriage is to money–not to a person. I inquired about the percentage of men attending… ‘The course is really for women,’ [the instructor replied,] ‘it’s not relevant to men.'” “When men give lines, women learn to not trust men. When women wear makeup, men learn to not trust women. Male lines and female makeup are divorce training.” “When divorces meant marriage no longer provided security for a lifetime, women adjusted by focusing on careers as empowerment. But when the sacrifice of a career met the sacrifices in a career, the fantasy of a career became the reality of trade-offs. Women developed career ambivalence.” “From the male perspective, when commitment is associated with diamonds and mortgages, promises of love can feel like promises of payment.” “When women are at the height of their beauty power and exercise it, we call it marriage. When men are at the height of their success power and exercise it, we call it a mid-life crisis.” “We have forgotten that before we began calling this date rape and date fraud, we called it exciting.” “Women attempt suicide more often because they want to become the priority of those they love rather than always prioritizing them.” “Unemployment to a man is the psychological equivalent of rape to a woman.” “Minimizing the role of sexual attraction in rape denies our responsibility for reinforcing men’s addiction to female sexual beauty and then depriving men of what we’ve helped addict them to.” “Feminism has taught women to sue men for sexual harassment or date rape when men initiate with the wrong person or with the wrong timing; no one has taught men to sue women for sexual trauma for saying “yes,” then “no,” then “yes.” … Men [are] still expected to initiate, but now, […]

Look, “Lester”, I’m Allowed to Support #NoMRA

I guess I must have been out of the loop somehow because I just recently heard about IV Vitamin Therapy aka Dripping aka The Party Girl Drip. Basically, if you party or you just manage to convince yourself (and the Physician at the place) that you need vitamin in IV form, you can do it from the comfort of a nice little boutique. What vitamins are included? It all depends on the drip you get, but, at some places, they have ones like Vitamin B-3, B-5, B-6, B-12 (with or without folic acid), B-Complex, C, and D, as well as other goodies like zinc, calcium, selenium, glycine, taurine, and magnesium. I even read about drip boutique that offers people IV iron therapy. Well, isn’t that nice? I’ve been waiting for months to get a 1 mL dose of B-12 that was prescribed for me because I have an actual vitamin deficiency and there is a nationwide shortage going on, but these people can just walk into a place and get them for unverified deficiencies. Even with 2 melt-away tablets every single day, I’m having trouble with numbness, paresthesia, and thinking because I can’t get a treatment that I need, but they can get vitamins because they decided to go out and drink too much. There is a place in Vegas where they give people a shuttle service if they can get a group together for the B-12 injections. There are children and adults who need these nutrients. There are people whose health can actually be damaged because of the deficiencies. There are babies that are in hospitals that need these. These “people” are endangering not just the lives of people with deficiencies, they are endangering their own lives. Consuming massive amounts of unneeded vitamins causes cancer. Certain vitamins given in the wrong doses can cause sudden cardiac death. In the case of IV iron, if the person doesn’t actually need it, then they can suffer from an allergic reaction or iron overload or just have a negative reaction. Actually, those things can happen if you do need it, but if you don’t need it, then you are willingly risking your life for a pseudo-scientific claim. I’m willing to go through infusions that could kill me because having an actual lack of iron will kill me. If you are partying so much that you think that you need IV therapy, then maybe you should consider that you need a different type of therapy. If you are going around pretending that you have a deficiency that you don’t have and that that justifies going through IV therapy, then you too are in need of therapy. If you are so narcissistic that you are using these to keep yourself looking young, then you need therapy. Basically, if you don’t really need these vitamins, then you need to see someone for whatever psychological issues you have going on because they are obviously fucking you up royally. And for anyone who is into “dripping” and doesn’t care that what they are doing is morally reprehensible, I have two quick words for you: Fuck. You.

Drip It

Did you know that I’m fat? Not only that, but did you know that my being fat makes me ignorant and ugly? In what is becoming an all-too-common thing, an über-conservative has decided that he can totally discount my argument because I happen to be fat. I decided to take a look at who this douchenugget follows on Twitter. Aside from about 100 porn accounts, he seems to follow athletes, comedians, and a lot of RWNJ pundits/politicians. Among other , he follows Glenn Beck, Darrell Issa, Tucker Carlson, the Duck Dynasty family, Ted Cruz, Jimmy Kimmel, Ron Paul, & Rush Limbaugh. Now, his definition of beauty probably differs from mine, but none of those guys does a thing for me–except make me very, very nauseated. Even the female pundits that he follows don’t really spark my interest. Maybe it’s that I think they’re ugly, but I think it’s more that I just think that these are people who I find morally repugnant. Some of them may meet societal standards for beauty, but I’m not attracted to them because I think that things they have said or done in the past suck. Appearance has never been a thing that has made me think more or less of someone’s political opinions. Most Democratic politicians and pundits aren’t all that hot to me either, but I support them because their policies are more in line with my beliefs. For some reason, though, people have started doing this whole “If you’re fat, you must be stupid” thing regularly. Or they’ll make other weird appearance-related comments. Earlier this week, a guy said he didn’t have to credit me for a graphic I made that he reposted because I post too many selfies and pictures from McDonald’s on my Instagram account.12 His other argument was that I hadn’t watermarked it and that it wasn’t a good graphic to begin with.3 He said that he regularly did that with accounts that he felt didn’t have much substance. He was equating a person’s images with their worth as a person. Even if I posted hundreds of pictures of myself on there every single day, it still would not diminish my intelligence or my dignity. It would not make me less deserving of respect or of credit, but he didn’t see things that way. I did eventually get him to agree to take the picture down, but the incident was disturbing. The focus on appearance has just gotten really out of control. I don’t get it. My weight is not somehow connected to my ability to use my brain or to formulate an argument, and I think that people who use this kind of argument know this. I have a feeling the Twitter user is a man who would have no problem supporting Chris Christie, so I have to wonder if the weight=dumb thing is really a thing with him. (For the record, I think Christie is horrible, but that has nothing to do with his waist size.) If it is a thing, is it only a thing for any person who disagrees with him? Or maybe he just dislikes fat women. Who knows? And I have a feeling that the person on Instagram would have no problem voting for a candidate to takes selfies, but they somehow find that kind of behavior abhorrent in the general public. It’s a bit of a double standard to say that we can respect some people who happen to look a certain way or do these things we don’t necessarily like, but that it is okay to denigrate others for those same things. What I do know is that I don’t appreciate people throwing my weight in my face to avoid debating. I don’t like that people feel that somehow I should be treated like less of a human being because there happens to be more weight on my body. I don’t like that I have battled my own issues with self-esteem and body image because of my weight, and some of the issues that have contributed to it, and that I’m finally learning how to try to treat myself with some level of respect and idiots come along and try to mess up all that progress. Well, I’m not going to let him. Eventually, I will get used to this kind of crap from assholes like him. I miss the good old days on Twitter when a person could have an actual discussion with someone over politics and other things without having their personal appearance become the focus of the discussion. I guess that having presence on social media accounts now means that I get to deal with the bullies and jerks of the world. I know that there have always been bad folks online, but it seems like their numbers are growing. It really bugs me because the internet used to be my place to get away from this sort of behavior and now it’s becoming so commonplace that I really feel uncomfortable at times. After the January thing, I haven’t felt like being as outspoken on Twitter and other sites. I haven’t automatically jumped on as many topics as I used to jump on. I worry that when I say something, it will be noticed by people who will start things. I also try not to respond to people that post things that I don’t agree with. Today, I made the mistake of doing that, and that ended up introducing me to this guy. I hate having to be more wary, but c’est la vie, right? Of the hundreds of posts I’ve made on there, one has been a McDonald’s gift card. ↩The majority of pictures on there have been of Amy. ↩Why did he repost it if he thought that? ↩

The Ultimate Insult

My scars from having shingles are becoming less and less visible, which is good. The only one that doesn’t seem to be less visible is the huge one that’s in the edge of my armpit. It’s bad that they’ve become yet another body issue for me to be self-conscious about. (In addition to the oddly-shaped nose, pointy chin, thin lips, and, of course, being fat.)

Scar Tissue That I Wish You Saw (Less Of)

I have body image and self-esteem problems. This is not news. This is something I’ve talked about on here, with family/friends, and with therapists until I’m pretty sure that every person who knows me is ready to bop me over the head. Years of abuse, bullying, and various other crap can make a person start to think that they are the ugliest, most worthless creature in the universe. I’ve always been that annoying person who would look at herself in a picture and say, no matter what the picture looked like, that I was ugly. I do not view myself as beautiful, pretty, hot, etc. Anyone who tells me otherwise is deemed, by my brain, to be lying or setting me up to be the butt of a joke. I’ve realized that this is my personal problem over the years, that most people are not trying to make me feel worse about myself. A couple of weeks ago, someone on Instagram told me that I was hot. The comment ended up disappearing a few minutes later, and I started thinking I had imagined it or it had been a mistake. I made a comment on Twitter and Ashley basically told me that she thought it was genuine. I believed her. This was kind of a breakthrough for me. This was the first time that I had ever been told by a guy that I was hot. In almost 30 years, I’ve had some people say that I was pretty or beautiful or “cute” or other words like that, but never attractive or hot. As much as I want to be a person who doesn’t need to hear that kind of comment, at the end of the day, I am. I needed it. Not because being hot or being attractive is a necessary part of daily living for most people. No, I needed it to heal the part of me that has been broken for so long. That is the part of me that contributes to the depression, the anxiety, and the shutting people out. It is also the part of me that, whenever I get afraid of being perceived as unattractive or attractive stuffs her face with food. Yesterday, after therapy, I felt less assured and more prone to the negative feelings. I had a few tearful outbursts through the evening and last night. I disguised it by reading books, but sometimes that actually makes it worse. (I have a tendency to read books where the protagonist has some confidence issues, so that can actually trigger some negative thoughts.) Today, though, I needed to feel better about myself. I ended up taking a selfie through Instagram and a few minutes after I posted it, I got the comment: jaye98: @4ndy_oc by far the best I’m not stupid. I know that when 15-16 year old guys make comments like that that they mean that they are making fun of a person. And part of me wanted to break down when it was posted, but then I realized some things: I don’t know them and they don’t know me, so what they think of me really doesn’t matter to me. If they think I’m less important because of the way I look, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with me. It does mean that there are obviously some issues with how their parents raised them. This kind of behavior by them is absolutely unacceptable and could be potentially dangerous for some people they might ridicule. I know that they are teenagers and that teenagers can be twats, but that is no excuse for doing this. Bullying someone because you’re young and stupid doesn’t make the behavior okay and it doesn’t make your actions any less painful for the person that you are harassing. I know that knowing that the guys who would tease me in elementary and middle school were my age or a year or two older didn’t make their words any less painful. Even when the much younger sister of one of my childhood best friends made a comment when I was at my friend’s 12th birthday party (a sleepover), her age and lack of understanding of how harmful what she said was didn’t negate the pain that I felt after she made the comment. The phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is bullshit. The words can hurt. The words do hurt.1  The looks hurt. Being on the receiving end of bullying/harassment/abuse hurts.2 Even silly little comments that might not impact some people can cause another person to feel like shit for days, weeks, months, even years.3 And the pain that is inflicted can be bad enough that others notice. A person in group yesterday told me that, in the 2 times (including yesterday’s session) we’ve seen each other, she’s realized that I’m a very sensitive person and that that might be why I have trouble maintaining friendships. She said that friends could probably tell how sensitive I am and that that might make them have trouble interacting with me. That made me realize that if relative strangers can read me so well, then people who act shitty can probably tell, too. And if they can tell that it’s easy to bring me down, then being the shitty people they are, they probably know that I am an easy mark for abusive and harassing attitudes. If it is so easy to see that a person is vulnerable and that vulnerability makes them a worthy target of some type of mistreatment, then that makes this sort of behavior even worse. There are stories all the time about people hurting themselves or others because they’ve been brutalized in some fashion by others. If harming others is something that you do to derive pleasure, then you need serious help. If your idea of kicks is dehumanizing someone that you think is too ugly or too fat or too religious or not religious enough or too black […]

Sticks and Stones and All That Stuff