Tag: Alabama A&M


30 Days of Truth: Day 9

21
April

Wow.  A second day in a row.  I might actually get through a week before disappearing on this meme again.  ;)

So today would be Day 9:

Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

I’m sure there have been plenty of people that this could apply to, but there are a couple who I can think of right off.  I guess I should go with those, since my brain is having its own “Freudian slip” by me thinking about them.

I didn’t want to let go of Marakie.  She was probably my closest friend while I was at A&M, but I haven’t talked to her in over a year now.  She’s from Ethiopia and, after she graduated from A&M (and then Tulane), she went back there.  We stayed in contact while she was there, but after she moved back to the States, she seemed to disappear off my radar.  I guess that maybe real life got to be too much or something.  I don’t know.  I miss her, but I guess that (for now) our friendship is on hiatus.

I’m not as close with other people from my past, as I had been.  I think for a long time the first person who would have popped into my mind is Stephanie.  Oddly, since we reconnected on Facebook, I don’t feel that drifting feeling anymore.  I guess just knowing that she is still there, and that she still exists, gives me some level of hope that I had lost for so long.

The only other person that I can truly think of right off would be John Allen.  He was my lab partner in Chem I during my sophomore year of high school.  I had a crush on him that lasted quite a while.  I would write him notes every day that year.  If I didn’t, he would make some comment about how I hadn’t written him and he would act depressed.  (He told me at one point that he had the notes stored somewhere at home.)  He was also the only guy that I would willingly let copy my homework in the three classes we shared.  (Everyone else ended up copying off of his copy of my homework.)  I finally told him after the end of his Junior year (right after I took the GED & before I started to college) that I’d had a crush on him.  We lost touch after that until we reconnected on Facebook.  He deactivated his account around the time that our mutual friend was (accidentally) killed, and I haven’t heard from him since.  I miss having the ability to just send him a message, and I miss sometimes getting a message from him.  (He was the only person to tell me happy birthday on my 16th birthday and he was the first one to say it to me on Facebook.)  I miss him teasing me about my lack of driving skills.  I even miss him copying my homework.  So, I definitely think he belongs in this post.

And now I feel completely embarrassed at how reliant I’ve become on Facebook for my interpersonal relationships.

Comment » | 30 Days of Truth, Alabama A&M, Confessions, Facebook, Family, Foster Sibling, Friends, Geekery, memes, Pre-College Years, School

30 Days of Truth: Day 8

20
April

(I know that it has been forever since I started this meme, but I’m going to try to finish it up.)

Day 8 is devoted to:

Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

You might think I would choose my (emotionally abusive) grandfather or the eighth grade history teacher that picked the girls in her classes. No, this will be devoted to a couple of people who are all from the same group of people. Who might they be? My cousin’s wife (not the funny one) and my maternal aunt.

The wife of the cousin shall go first.

It should come as no surprise to anyone, especially her, that she and I are never going to be buddy-buddy.  Ever since shortly after she married my cousin in 1999, she and I have pretty much been at odds.  I’m not sure if the first time that she really started acting like I was some kind of miscreant was when I accidentally (and yes, it was an accident) stepped on her wedding gown or when I made a small joke (at the beginning of her pregnancy) that it would be cool if their son was born on April 1.  (His due date was already supposed to be in April, around 2 weeks after the start of the month, so in terms of development, it wouldn’t have been a big bad thing.)  She acted like I was hoping for the death of her child.  He ended up being born February 18, the day after my 16th birthday.  He had some pretty hefty birth defects and I got why everyone was so concerned about him and was so careful with him.  The birth defects were treated with various surgeries and with stays in the hospital.  By the time he was a toddler, he was relatively healthy.

In 2002, I wrote a blog entry about her.  I was pissed off at her because she didn’t seem to care about discipline and because she wasn’t acting like she was concerned that (at 2) her son was not even attempting to talk.  Honestly, I was a bit concerned that he might have some form of developmental disorder, but if I had asked her, she would have shut me down.  (Anytime I’ve tried to ask what’s going on with him, she has shut me down or acted like I couldn’t possibly have a clue what was going on.)  At the same time, she was apparently telling my mom that she thought that there was nothing wrong with my mother.

The blog entry practically got me excommunicated from my own family and I was told to never talk about that part of our family on the blog again.  (I have, but no trouble occurred until earlier this year.)  I let my internal issues fester for years, knowing that I felt like a stranger in my own family and that this one person was basically keeping me from having the loving family that I once had.  I almost got used to having my family turn their backs (literally) toward me at family events.  I didn’t get used to seeing the eye rolls, having anything I did for the family (i.e. the Christmas where I cooked pretty much everything) treated like it was suspect, listening to the concern that maybe my grandmother was a drug addict (because she’s taken medicine for Degenerative Disc Disease), hearing that my education was worthless because it was at A&M, or having long-time family events called off (or rescheduled) for no reason.

The last thing I mentioned really bugged me because we have had a dinner on Decoration Sunday the same weekend in May every year.  Soon after the marriage, the dinners became harder and harder to get anyone from that side of the family to attend.  What made this even more annoying was that this was also the weekend of the family reunion for my mom’s father’s side of the family, and it was the only time of year that we got to see some people, including my last remaining great-uncle from my grandfather’s side of the family.  That Sunday was always special and it practically disappeared because she had to go camping or my cousin had to go to a golf tournament or something else that could’ve probably been done at any other time.  It also bugged me because there were years when my family couldn’t attend Christmas dinners because of work or illness.  We didn’t get those days moved so that they specifically fit our needs, we would just miss them.  But Christmas has been dictated by that side of the family since 1998.  In 2008 at Thanksgiving, they decided not to even make an attempt to come see us.  (They went to see friends, as they’d done the year before.)  That Thanksgiving happened to be the one where I spent the day prior cooking everything and then ended up being able to eat none of it when my mom’s sugar bottomed out.  I nearly lost my mother that year, and I didn’t even know how to get in touch with them–on the off chance that they even cared.  That Christmas, they didn’t want to celebrate it.  I balked at that.  I pretty much threw a tantrum that said that if they didn’t come then that meant that they really didn’t love us.  They came, but they were all-too-thrilled to leave as early as possible.  (They’ve left quickly since then.)

At Thanksgiving, my mom mentioned that she had been at the pain doctor the day before.  Whether my cousin’s wife realized it or not, she rolled her eyes and made a disgusted look.  After we ate, she and my aunt were talking about her son’s lack of appetite and how it might be related to his ADHD medicine.  When I asked about the medicine, she rolled her eyes and told me.  When I tried to give her some insight on how the medicine might be making him feel, she cut me off and acted like I was somehow invading on her privacy.  (I’ve actually taken ADHD medicine in the past, and I thought I might be able to help her figure a way to help him stop losing weight.)

At Christmas, my parents and I couldn’t show up because of snow storm.  They decided to celebrate it on Christmas with my grandmother anyway, even though they knew we couldn’t come.  The cousin’s wife was pissed because my parents and I had decided not to make a journey that went over the river and over a mountain to get there.  It didn’t seem to occur to her that we couldn’t get there because it was unsafe.  Our lives were worth the risk, I guess.

The final straw was when I was watching television and got to have a news anchor announce to the rest of the Tennessee Valley that my cousin’s son happened to have some sort of developmental disorder.  (He was in a performance art group for kids with disabilities and he was in the video, though they didn’t call him out by name.) I really didn’t appreciate finding out with the rest of the people in the viewing area.  It seemed like the sort of thing that could have been discussed in the almost 11 years since his birth.  I was pissed and I wrote a blog entry, which led to her calling me on the phone, getting my mom to hand me the phone, and then blessing me out.  She wanted me to apologize and to promise never to talk about her on here again.  I told her not to read about herself on here, but to never demand that I keep from talking about certain aspects of my life. Since then, the family has pretty much been split in two.  No one (from the aunt, uncle, cousin, & cousin’s wife) acknowledged the birthdays of my mom and me.  (Of course, my birthday has always been ignored by the cousin and his wife.) My cousin blocked me on Facebook.  The only way that we find out what has gone on in their family is through my grandmother, who (this time) wasn’t mad at me for what I said.

Now is the turn of my maternal aunt.

I think that the two of us started drifting in 2002.  I was annoyed at her reaction to the blog entry that had occurred back then and I didn’t appreciate being shut out of her life for almost 1 year afterward.  I have to wonder if she would’ve continued to freeze me out if her childhood friend hadn’t died or if I hadn’t had the same surgery that the friend had had prior to her death.  In 2003, things seemed to go back to normal for a little while, but it wasn’t long before I began to realize that I had completely lost her.

My aunt agreed with the cousin’s wife that my grandmother was abusing pain killers.  By all accounts, she was even going into my grandmother’s house and counting the pills.  She tried to get my mom to help do an intervention with her (and wanted her to go into a nursing home), which my mom only agreed to because my grandmother was falling down all the time.  After a medicine was changed, though, my grandmother didn’t fall as much, and my mom changed her opinion on the whole thing.  My aunt has still seemed to be of the opinion that no one really needs pain killers.

She has also participated in the discontinuation of family events, the non-contact, and some of the other unkind behaviors.  I probably would’ve let it slide except that she never called or came to check on my mom any of the times she has been in the hospital, including when she was near death from the blood sugar thing or when my mom’s had her ankles operated on.  In fact, for my mom to even get to talk to her sister, she’s had to make the long-distance calls to my aunt.  If my aunt ever calls, she only talks for a few minutes at a time.  (If my mom calls her, she’ll talk for an hour or more.)  The calling thing bugs me because my aunt and uncle have money, and they know that my parents and I don’t.

She also was the person who told my mother that she wouldn’t help my parents pay for my books for college because I would never graduate.  She’d gone from seeing me as this person who could do things to this person who would be a leech on society.  She never helped contribute to our family when we nearly lost our house or when we struggled to get even basic necessities paid for.  Instead, my dad’s sister would help.  His sister, who had always been a bit of an absentee, volunteered to help out.  She continued to help as long as she could, while my maternal aunt would go on trip after trip and buy expensive things, while continuing to claim that they had no money.

If you look at past blog entries, especially the last few years, my more annoying behaviors and attitudes corresponded quite well with the family issues.

 

Comment » | 10 Years of Madness, 30 Days of Truth, Confessions, Family, FPS-Related, Holidays, memes

They See Me Rollin’, They Hatin’

13
February

When I was little, I wanted to be Whitney Houston. I doubt that I’ve mentioned that on here before. I may have, though, but when I was young, I dreamed of becoming Whitney Houston when I grew up. I wanted to be her, with the ability to dance of Michael Jackson, as well as my own book deal, the ability to do hair, and a degree in teaching. Of course, this was an illogical thing to wish for since I was (well, still am) a redhead with those strange little turquoisey blue eyes with different colors in ‘em (love that heterochromia). It was also illogical because apparently a combination of weight and funny genes (not quite funny syphillis funny, though) determined that I couldn’t go around dancing anymore after my mid-teens. (I tried to get around this by dancing to a Britney Spears video in 2000. This resulted in a broken foot.) I also am still suffering from the Bellatrix hair that I mentioned in my Tumblr last week and featured as my Facebook profile picture for Doppleganger week. As for the degree in teaching, I’m fairly certain that we can all agree that I should not be allowed near small children. That might lead to dangerous fuzzy liberal thinking and stuff…I don’t know what part of that is worse, the thinking or the fuzzy liberalness of it.

I didn’t become Whitney, despite my wishing and hoping and thinking and praying. That kind of bummed me out for a while, until I learned of her marriage to Bobby Brown and, what I hope was, her subsequent downfall into drugs and happy-hippie-dipping-in-the-Jordan-River. Of course, she redeemed herself.

I didn’t become a lot of the things that I set out to become in my life. I wanted to be a singer, but for about 3 years, my voice wouldn’t do anything other than talk. I wanted to be a dancer, so my body played the arthritis-fibromyalgia-autoimmune card on me. I wanted to do hair for a living, so I was reminded that I loathed how people touched my “beautiful red hair” and how that made me feel used and cheap. (I may be cheap, but I shall never be forced to feel used!) I didn’t become a teacher, because I determined in 8th grade after being turned over for truancy to a pre-court thing that I absolutely loathed school. (For the record, I was not actually truant. I had gotten a letter from my doctor in 2nd or 3rd grade that said that sometimes I would get so sick that I would just be out of school for a month at a time. This letter, which was 100% legit, had worked for 6 years before anyone challenged it. That year, of course, my gallbladder had failed and no one believed me for 2 months while I was getting all kinds of tests, then I hurt my knees and foot, and finally ended up with the flu, asthma problems, bronchitis, and a boocoodle of other problems.) I didn’t become a music producer, which was an unofficial major for me. I didn’t even get to try to become a doctor because my mom said I couldn’t handle the staying up for days on end…um, that’s not necessarily true. (I can sometimes go days without sleeping at all!) I decided after I entered the Social Work program that Social Work was teh suck when it came to majors for me, but before I got to the point where I nearly finished and got kicked out for being teh crazy. I have yet to get a degree, and don’t know if and when I ever will. At this point, I think I should be given an honorary doctorate. (I’m not kidding, since I’ve been in and out [mainly in] of college since August of 2001.)

Of course, going back to school might entail going to UAH again, which I’m not that scared of. Typically, shootings don’t occur in the same place twice, right? So, I should be safe. Of course, Amy Bishop isn’t the first professor who has allegedly killed people. (A physics professor was convicted of killing his wife, who also worked for UAH, a couple of years ago.) But, as far as I know, the liberal arts department hasn’t had any killing teachers yet. Besides, given my ability to not get all scared when the knife got pulled on me during my interview for Social Work (it was part of a role-playing thing, and yes it was an actual knife), I think I might be able to handle it. Of course, that was a little different, since I was in no danger.

Oh, I’ve figured out that I’m a bad luck charm. When I was a little kid, a relative of mine wanted to meet me before she died. She had been saying that for months. She died right after she met me, like the next day. (She was 99.) A semi-distant cousin had her home, as well as her mother’s home, struck by a tornado. Her husband was killed in the tornado, leaving her daughter and her unborn son without a father. A dance teacher I had as a child was killed on a rainy road in 1995 or 1996. In 1998, the day after my mom and I dropped off a refund of the payment that the parents of my friend Sara had paid for her to go to Chicago on a choir trip, her brother (who had had the same Algebra book that I had that year) decided to go after the family with various sharp weaponry. (If you want to look it up, search google for Jeffrey Franklin Huntsville.) That same year, there was a school shooting in Jonesboro, Arkansas. It was at a school that my parents had considered sending me to if we had moved to Jonesboro the year before. (I had insisted that we not move there.) In 1999, Patrick, the kid that I sat next to in my 8th grade homeroom, was killed by his father, as was his younger sister, before the father killed himself. The dorm that I stayed in in 2005 had a girl whose room was set on fire and she had to jump from the window. I had a friend killed in a drunk driving crash last year. And now the school that currently holds my transcripts has had a “school shooting”. (BTW – it was a workplace shooting that happened at a school.)

Comment » | Alabama A&M, Alabama Weirdness, Family, Friends, General, Pre-College Years, UAH

Why Taboo Went to All Subjects Being Covered

14
September

I was searching through TFL’s board tonight and I saw where there had been a thread asking about updates on Wendy’s progress with Taboo. (Everyone else calls it TBL, which I have never understood since I always thought if it became initials it would be TTL, but to me, it will always be Taboo.) Anyway, there was a comment about how I just all of a sudden had changed the rules of the site to allow all fanlistings. Though it probably seemed, at the time, like I changed the rule to get fanlistings approved for people who were being turned down at TFL, I had actually changed the rule because I was tired of having to constantly change my rules because of the rules at TFL. At that point, the rules were changing back and forth quite quickly. Things that had not previously been approved or hadn’t been approved in a long time were now being approved by them, and I just got frustrated and I was a bit worried that if I didn’t make some permanent policy change that Taboo would just fall apart. At that time, I still wanted to own it and I still wanted it to be important. I was trying to protect it. I was trying to lessen my having to keep up with every category at TFL. I ended up upsetting people, which led to some hate mail. I even got some rude emails that referenced me when people didn’t realize they were talking to me. They would reference “the owner” of the network and go on to say some hateful things, but they never seemed to realize they were saying them to the owner.

I also would like to point out that, unlike TFL and other sites, there were never more than 6 staffers at a time on Taboo. People have talked about how the network went to crap, but it basically started with too few people and continued that way. I started it as the only staffer. I started it with just plain contact forms and hand coded approved lists. At one point, there were several VERY helpful staffers (Ruby, Julie, and Christina), but they had lives they had to lead and they got busy with them. Jef did work quite hard, but he (and Julie still) were pretty much the only ones working. Jamie helped quite a bit when she was working. Some of those 6 people at a time were given the opportunity to be staffers, but would never do an update or anything.

I tried to take care of the network, as I know that a few of the staffers who had worked with me, had tried to take care of it, as well. It was just a lot of work, and I didn’t have the proper scripts and stuff. I also was going through a really, really bad time personally. From the time I started at A&M until the day I walked away from that school, I was severely depressed and felt just completely cut off from reality. I have actually done so much better since, even though I have had depressive times since that time. I was really not in a good enough place to be in charge of that network, and I realize that now, but I was trying to prove to myself that I could handle anything. I was basically trying to be super Janet, and deny that I was in real pain.

But regardless of what went on in the past, I wish people would quit speculating about my methods and motives for my behaviors with that network. It was my baby, and I loved it but I resented it. I know it could have been better for others, but I tried. I just wish that some of the people who have complained in the time since the network has left my hands would have offered their services when I was running it. It would have been so much nicer if there had been more people helping out.

Oh, I have set up my new reviews site and have decided to make it just an opinion site: Blah Blah Biddy Blah.

Comments Off | Alabama A&M, Confessions, Internet, New Site

But None of Us Are, Right?

9
February

My Modern Political Philosophy teacher has this thing where he likes to inflame the members of the class by insulting their sensibilities. He doesn’t do it to make them really mad, just to get them involved in the class. He’ll insult Obama in one sentence, then go on to rag on the Republican party in the next. He hasn’t done that the past couple of days, though. Instead, he’s taken to saying that society does not work a certain way because we, the members of society, are not Schizophrenic. This is something that always catches me off guard because technically anyone with Schizoaffective Disorder has the symptoms of Schizophrenia combined with those of a mood disorder. In a technical sense, there is at least one person in the class who is Schizophrenic. And on Friday, he said something about how cutters think and it was a bit insulting. Since I used to cut, I kind of group myself with that group as well.

I’m kind of stuck on this because I love the class, but I hate going in there not knowing if he’s going to say something about something that’s wrong with me and just assume that since we all look “normal” that we all are “normal”. I guess he doesn’t think that anyone with a Schizophrenia-spectrum disorder would be in a Junior level class at a pretty difficult university, but that didn’t stop me. I just don’t get what I should do or say about this because I don’t think it’s right what he’s saying, but I don’t want him to know about my disorder. I’m afraid if people know that I’m going to somehow end up having what happened at A&M repeated. I don’t want to find myself unable to graduate yet again simply because my brain happens to use the neurotransmitters a bit differently from “normal”.

2 comments » | Alabama A&M, Mental Health, UAH

Actual Emotions? Do They Dare Affect Me?

1
February

I am not depressed. I am not manic. I am not mixed. Therefore, the feelings I am feeling, for the first time in my life are ACTUAL emotions unrelated to being crazy. I’m not equipped to be “normal”. My mind was not meant for regular emotions. I cannot rationalize rational emotions, only the irrational ones that I was born to have.

I always knew that I was not equipped to deal with happiness. I haven’t actually experienced it since I was a small child. I’ve had rare moments of joy, quickly tempered by the angst of the illnesses beating up against my fragile mind. I never really liked joy, as it felt wrong to me. When you live in a constant state of depression for almost twenty years, you begin to believe that the only thing that is right is the depression. I would rejoice, sure, but it was not the kind of happy emoting that a normal person has, I am sure.

Experiencing disappointment, though, was something that I never thought I wouldn’t be able to handle. It was enough to almost bring the horrors of the illness back, as disappointment triggers a stress reaction and stress triggers all of my mental health difficulties to be on full alert for the impending doom of depression. I did not experience the depression, though. I felt the overwhelming self-pity, but instead of completely letting it take over me, I decided to look into something that would ease my destitute emotions. I looked into a way to fight back not the people who had so recently upset me, but the people who caused me a greater stress, the Social Work Department at Alabama A&M.

I’ve tried other methods of fighting back before, but they were not getting anything done quickly enough to my satisfaction. I never hear from the lawyer. I don’t know if the Department of Education ever got my complaint about Civil Rights violations. I decided to search Mental Health Parity and Social Work to see if there was anything that I could find on violations of it that would inspire me. The first link I found when doing my search was the NASW fighting the stigma of mental illness and working for equality for the mentally ill. This was a start, so I began with the home page. I searched through their resources and finally found what I needed: a simple one page form (needing to be printed twice because it was from two teachers that this violation occurred) entitled Request for Professional Review. I read through the booklet, noticing that the problems that I had had might require Adjudication and/or Mediation. Of course, I will have to combat one little problem. These forms needed to be sent in within one year of the final incident that occurred. That was in late 2007, which means I am just a few months past the deadline. Never fear, though, because they do sometimes allow for people who have passed the timeline to submit forms. I shall fill out the form, send in the accompanying information detailing the problems, and hopefully rid myself of this entire struggle against them.

1 comment » | Alabama A&M, General, Mental Health

Long Time, No See

6
December

I’m not dead. I haven’t gone through any of my moderated messages (all 1370 of them) yet, but I’m sure that someone asked if I was okay. The truth is that I don’t know. This past month has been hectic, but I’ve survived, which I guess is a good thing.

Do you remember how I had to go on Inderal to reduce my tremors caused by Lithium? Well, since Inderal is a blood pressure medication and my blood pressure tends to run on the low end of normal, which is a weird thing for a “fat girl”, the Inderal was causing me to feel faint and to almost fall several times a day. I cut down to one pill at night. Well, since I cut that down, the 1200 mg of Lithium started doing a number on my tremors. I couldn’t handle money or anything valuable. I could punch in my PIN number or sign my own name. My mom and I decided that it was time that I lower my Lithium dosage until it’s time for me to go see my psychiatrist. It’s kind of working. I still shake, and now I’m more depressed.

Speaking of being depressed, which is something my Art of Interviewing doesn’t really understand, I’ve spent a lot of time sleeping and not wanting to stop sleeping. I’ve just been trying to avoid reality and pain and stress. It didn’t work, but I feel a little better rested than I have in a while. That doesn’t mean that once I finish this entry that I won’t go get on the couch and go back to sleep. Actually, I can’t go back to sleep today. I have my last final and my last speech to prepare for for tomorrow. Bleh.

I also need to type up a letter saying how bad my Art of Interviewing teacher has been. I have to remember how she had a “strict dress code” that only applied to people who weren’t a part of her clique. I have to remember the extreme favoritism that she showed towards said clique. I have to remember that the woman who said she didn’t cuss anymore used several profane words when yelling at us over a test that a lot of us failed, except members of said clique. I have to remember when she said that being gay was wrong. I have to type up how she wanted verbatim answers when she said she didn’t want them, and then turned around and told us that she wanted us to answer the questions verbatim. I have to remember how she picked on certain students. I have to remember that when she was giving our Chapter 11 test that she hadn’t even read the chapter. I have to remember that she changed Jenny’s and my interview appointment time without telling us. I also have to remember that she said she was too busy to make it up, and then on Friday, I saw her eating candy upstairs with nothing to do. Basically, it’s going to be a long letter. I just don’t know how to put it all together.

The test that most people failed in AoI was one that I got a 36.5, despite studying a lot for it. This leads to the teacher saying that if we failed we didn’t study. Then, I turned around and made an 81 and 82 on the next two tests. I think I got a 100 on the last test we took. I’m not stupid and I am studying. The only big difference between those tests and the ones I failed were that they were basically over 1 chapter at a time, instead of 2-3.

Another school related thing–I got a roommate. She seems nice, but I was quite shocked that she came into my room mid-semester, no past mid-semester. The dorm counselors thought that I would automatically be okay with it. But how can you be okay with something you didn’t know was going to happen so soon? How can you just smile and say that’s great? I’m having to get used to her stuff and her being there. Next semester she’ll have to get used to my being there more, since I’ll be staying over Monday and Wednesday nights.

There has been some happy news. For the first time that I can remember, I bought a present for everyone who regularly spends Christmas with me. I also got gift cards to send to my cousins’ children on Daddy’s side of the family. I hope everyone likes their presents. I’m having a hard time keeping my dad from knowing what he’s getting. He hates for his presents to be spoiled, so I have to bite my lip to keep from telling him.

There is other happy news on the Christmas shopping front. With my Pell Grant refund, I bought lots of stuff for a Salvation Army Angel. Her name is Lexus and she’s 6. Instead of filling the one small bag that the Salvation Army gives to adopters, my family filled 3 of those bags plus 4 pretty large garbage bags. I hope that she’s an only child because if she got a lot of stuff and a sibling didn’t get much, it wouldn’t be fair.

I checked my weight over Thanksgiving and I’d lost another 10 pounds. That means that I’ve lost a grand total of about 30 pounds since the end of September. Only 70 more to go. The weight loss has been pretty evident. I’ve had to retire three pairs of jeans because when I’m in them, they fall off or almost fall off. One of those not only almost fell off, it caused me to trip and fall while walking to class a couple of weeks ago. That wasn’t fun. The only bad part, other than the wet and grassy leg, was that my hip hurt for a few days.

I plan on checking my e-mail after I get my finals done. It’s going to be crazy since I haven’t checked it in a month. Not checking it for a half of a week leads to like 1000 new messages on my main account. Most of them are spam, though. Since I haven’t been on so long, I probably have lost a few of my fanlistings, but I’m not really concerned with that right now. I got on and approved the pending members. That took quite a while.

I need to make a Christmas theme for this site. I wanted to make one for Autumn and Thanksgiving, but I was too busy with school and too depressed. I should probably make a general winter theme as well. I better not start making a list of what themes I need to make because then I’ll end up with like 100 themes to do and I’ll get burnt out.

7 comments » | Alabama A&M, Fanlistings, Friends, Internet, Mental Health, Sickness and Health

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