Abuse


After watching Audrie & Daisy, I seriously hope that Darren White loses his bid to be reelected. I know documentaries don’t always give you the full picture, but it’s clear that he doesn’t respect rape & sexual assault victims. This is one Democratic candidate I would never vote for, and a race where I’m actually hopeful the Republican wins. His bias was clear. Daisy Coleman deserved more from his department. He failed her. He failed the people of Nodaway County, and the bullying & vandalism that took place after her rape is proof that he is also unable to keep the peace in his community. He does not deserve to be a law enforcement officer anymore. Unfortunately, I don’t believe he will lose. If the people of Nodaway County and Maryville can be so hateful toward a rape victim based upon who raped her, then they might not even care about the miscarriage of justice by Darren White. Maybe they’ll prove me wrong and elect Randy Strong. I hope they do.

I Hope the Nodaway County Sheriff Loses







Sorry that I fell behind by a few days. I had some stuff come up in my family that took precedence. I have decided that splitting each list up into 21 items is a bit too anal of me. I’ll get as many done in a day as I can. That may mean huge lists some days and really small ones on other days. I have a feeling that if you’re looking for reasons to oppose Donald Trump, no list can be too big or too small.1 I’m also going to begin posting each reason on my Twitter account under #2016Reasons. I’ve already been posting each of these posts to that hashtag. 106. Trump said that you never see thin people drinking Diet Coke. Despite the fact that he drinks the soda, Trump enjoys fat-shaming people who drink the soda. I guess that it’s a case of do as I say, not as I do, also known as typical Donald Trump. 107. Donald Trump talks about women like they’re his property. You should know by now that I’m not joking when I say things like this, so yes, he really uses possessive language about women. Specifically, he said, “I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.” And if you’re thinking, “well, at least it’s a compliment,” then I’m going to assume that you’re probably going to vote Republican anyway. People cannot be owned. Now, I know that Trump has a history of trying to get around that by “employing” people who are in forced servitude (slavery) to build things for him, but the statement stands. 108. He thinks he can brag about humility. When Lesley Stahl interviewed him for 60 Minutes after he announced that Pence would be his running mate, he said this about himself: “I think I’m much more humble than you would understand.” And it wasn’t the only time he felt the need to brag about how humble he is. He once even compared his humility to that of the Pope. Donald, Donald, Donald. Do you not understand how humility works? It’s not something that you can brag about. Well, obviously, you can brag about anything, but if you’re bragging about being humble, then you are not humble. Know why? It’s what the word means: Humility: a modest or low view of one’s own importance; humbleness. Bragging about humility is a bit like fat-shaming people for drinking Diet Coke while guzzling a tiny little bottle of Diet Coke on board a private plane. Yeah, I said it. 109. “The point is, you can never be too greedy.” I shouldn’t be surprised that Donald subscribes to the Gordon Gekko philosophy of wealth acquisition. Maybe, like many, he doesn’t understand that Gekko wasn’t the hero of those movies. He was the villain. Perhaps, he was inspired by the Ferengi in the Star Trek universe; failing to recognize that they too were meant to be antagonists. Or maybe it’s due to growing up in a wealthy family; he never learned that life isn’t about being the wealthiest person in the room or becoming the wealthiest person in the room. He values his bank balance more than he values lives. Is that the kind of person that you want running the United States? 110. Political events are about ratings for him. Whether talking about the debates or the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump obsessed over how many people were watching. I hate to break it to him, but a lot of people who watched those things aren’t even voting for him. At a certain point, watching Trump speak became more about either laughing at him or trying to determine just how out there the man is. But even if people were watching to root him on in his fight against the establishment–aka himself–believing that ratings are the most important part of the events proves how out of touch he is with the importance of the job he’s campaigning to have. Debates and conventions are not just job interviews, they’re part of national conversations where we all start determining where exactly this country should stand on a variety of important issues. Since Trump doesn’t even bother to share his plans for working on those issues, it’s clear that he doesn’t even get the most basic part about it. When he only speaks in incoherent soundbites, it’s easy to see how shallow the man and the campaign really are. 111. He’s opposed to marriage equality. Donald likes to paint himself as a pro-LGBTQ candidate, but he believes in “traditional” marriage. (Apparently, traditional marriage means a union of one man, three women, and a lot of divorce attorneys.) Electing Donald Trump could jeopardize the rights that so many people have fought so hard to win and could prevent future wins in other ongoing fights for equality in America. He has vowed to overturn the decision in Obergefell v. Hodges. 112. Patronized a woman claiming to be a 9/11 survivor. Trump called Alicia Watkins “sweetie” before giving her a “job interview” and saying he’d hire her because he had a gut feeling about her. Watkins told him that she was a 9/11 survivor and a veteran of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Watkins has since been described as having falsified her record and having violated federal laws against Stolen Valor by wearing a purple heart that she didn’t earn. Not only did he patronize her, he proved that his gut kinda sucks. 113. Threatened to “spill the beans” on Heidi Cruz. During the end of the Republican primaries, things between Ted Cruz and Donald Trump got a bit heated. In a move that Cruz still won’t forgive Trump for, Trump threatened Heidi on Twitter. He followed it up by retweeting an unflattering picture of Heidi–a move he actually regrets. 114. Called 9/11 “7/11”. During a rally, Donald Trump confused a huge national tragedy with the real life inspiration for the Kwik-E-Mart. For any American, that would be a big flub, but for someone who loves to brag about his patriotism […]

2016 Reasons to Oppose Trump: Reasons #106-131


Hello, it’s me. Yes, I’m back on the last day of the Democratic National Convention to give the fifth list of reasons to oppose Donald Trump’s presidency and to oppose him in general. But if this list doesn’t convince you, maybe the previous four (1, 2, 3, 4) will. If that’s not enough, there will be another list of 21 reasons next time, and another the day after that, and the day after that…and so on until there are 2016 reasons to oppose Trump. 85. Trump supported Brexit. Donald Trump viewed Brexit as the British people taking control over their own country and borders, and putting their needs first, or so he suggested. Unfortunately, a man who somehow got a graduate degree from Wharton doesn’t seem to understand much about the economy. Apparently, business degrees don’t require that a person understand economics or global policy. Liam Fox, Trade Secretary for the United Kingdom, explained how woefully inaccurate Trump’s assumption that Brexit is all about focusing on Britain are, “In fact it was the reverse: In my view, it was about Britain becoming a much more outward-looking country.” He also saw Brexit as an opportunity to bilk money out of his supporters. Donald can’t ever miss an opportunity to do a little song and dance for a check from unsuspecting, innocent people. Sad. 86. …But he didn’t know how Scotland had voted in the EU Referendum. How does a man who was raised by a Scottish immigrant not know that one should never confuse the will of the English with the will of the Scottish? Scotland, along with Northern Ireland, voted to remain in the European Union, a decision that could dissolve the United part of the United Kingdom. It would officially change the way that Scotland and England have functioned for over four hundred years. If ever there was proof that total assimilation within a culture was a bad idea, it would be Donald Trump’s inept understanding of how Scotland fits in to the Brexit situation and into the United Kingdom in general. How do people judge this man to be competent enough to vote for? 87. Donald Trump claims that he broke the glass ceiling for women all by himself. I’ll repeat. Donald Trump claims that he broke the glass ceiling for women all by himself. He told Bill O’Reilly, noted White House slavery enthusiast, “Number one, I have great respect for women. I was the one that really broke the glass ceiling on behalf of women, more than anybody in the construction industry.” He also told O’Reilly, “My relationship I think is going to end up being very good with women.” I don’t even know where to begin. Taking credit for breaking the glass ceiling? Even if he’s succeeded in helping women in one industry, it is not his place to say that he broke the glass ceiling. I guess if he was asked who gave women the right to vote, he’d claim he wrote the 19th Amendment and got it ratified on his own. I bet he’d even claim he was up in Seneca Falls. He might as well. He is taking credit for the achievement of women and of the hardwork put into giving full-fledged equal opportunities and rights to people regardless of sex or gender, even though he fails to pay women the same as men on his campaign. He is asserting his privilege to deny women the ability to say that they earned their position and that they fought for it. To quote the great philosopher and ethicist Taylor Swift, “I want to say to all the young women out there, there will be people along the way who will try to undercut your success, or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame. But if you just focus on the work…you will look around and you will know that it was you and the people who love you that put you there. That will be the greatest moment.” 88. Trump called pregnancies of employees an inconvenience for business. Yes, he actually said, “a wonderful thing for the woman, it’s a wonderful thing for the husband, it’s certainly an inconvenience for a business. And whether people want to say that or not, the fact is it is an inconvenience for a person that is running a business” on video. So there’s proof that he feels this way. To summarize: the pro-life party is now being represented by a man who once called pregnancy an inconvience for business; and he said this after he began identifying as pro-life. 89. Trump has called Elizabeth Warren ineffective. To Trump, ineffective means that Elizabeth Warren pisses him off and doesn’t put up with his bullshit. He’s said she is the least productive Senator, that she gets nothing done, that she is weak. Elizabeth Warren should channel Mean Girls character Regina George and ask Donald, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” Because, clearly, he is. 90. Donald Trump insulted Warren by saying she has a big mouth. Apparently, Trump thinks that women who stand up to his childish behavior are worthy of scorn and deserve to be silenced for it. He’s even said that he wants to shut her up. Way to go, GOP! You’ve nominated a man wanting to silence women. Classy stuff, if you’re in the 1950’s. 91. Trump accused Hillary of only being popular because of the “woman card” and not for any other reason. In yet another example of Trump being an misogynist, he decided that Hillary was somehow getting more support because she’s a woman. He said, in a news conference at Trump Tower in April, “Frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don’t think she’d get 5 percent of the vote. The only thing she’s got going is the woman’s card. And the beautiful thing is, women don’t like her.” He claims a former United States Senator and Secretary of State is unqualified. You know, unlike a “businessman” who has never […]

2016 Reasons to Oppose Trump: Reasons #85-105




1
Once upon a time, we were friends. We would email each other, talk on Twitter, comment on each other’s blogs, etc. It was nice. You and I were both diagnosed as Bipolar and it was nice to have someone around my age to talk to about that. You weren’t my only friend with that issue, but for a while there you were one of the closest. When you got your lap-band surgery done, I remember worrying because you couldn’t keep down food, but you didn’t want to tell your doctor because you were finally losing weight. I worried you would have nutritional deficiencies before I realized I had them.  And you told me you worried about my health issues as well.   That’s why you felt the need when you were diagnosed with “Chronic Lyme Disease” to suggest I might have it as well.1 You told me that it fit my symptoms. You told me I might be able to go off my meds, lose weight, and live a life off without chronic pain if I’d just go to a Lyme specialist.2 And for a split second, I considered it.3 But then I researched it, something that you should have known I would do. When I told you that I didn’t think an infection was causing my hereditary condition,4 you huffed off like a toddler for a while before you came roaring back into my life.  Our friendship never recovered from that, did it? Or maybe our friendship was nonexistent from the beginning. That’s what I started thinking tonight as your tirade came in. Well, I did after I described your past behaviors, including that close friendship with a certain blogger that used to write fat-shaming posts pretty regularly, and some people started pointing out that friends don’t really act like you’ve acted. I tried to defend you. You’re bipolar and off your meds…you are just on a Lyme disease kick…you’re just having a bad day or week or month or year.  But that doesn’t explain it.  Because the reality is that you’ve always had a shady edge to your behavior.  Like how you harassed one mutual friend over her past drug issues and how that compared to your Lyme disease. Or the time you harassed another person I know and you know of over her exercising routine and her teeth. Or maybe the time you went after another mutual friend calling her a bad parent for having an autistic child and eating gluten. Or maybe how you treated total strangers should have clued me in. You trolled groups for disabled people on Twitter to promote your “everything is Lyme” mindset. You said people who didn’t buy marijuana5 off the street, not from reputable/regulated dealers, for their epileptic children were bad parents. You would even buy marijuana, in a state where it’s illegal, to make homemade CBD oil & you’d brag about it on social media. You didn’t care who you hurt, whether it was a friend, a family member, a stranger, or yourself.   So your nonsensical transphobic tirade fits with the rest of your utter disregard and lack of even basic compassion for other people. And I am so happy my eyes are open to your cruelty. I’m glad that I am no longer having to hope that one day you’ll go back on your medicine and into therapy and be all better. Clearly, this is what the real you is like. I don’t know why you think the transgender community wants to strip you of your rights any more than I know why you fixated on Lyme. I don’t understand why you think I’m brainwashed when you’re the person actually buying into speculation and denying facts. I don’t know why you think that it’s okay to compare the LGBTQ community to Nazis or why you think there’s a vast conspiracy to brainwash children into being trans. Do you think that I’m going to molest children because of my past? Would you not trust me to be around children if I didn’t identify as 100% heterosexual? I mean before you determined that I was brainwashed by my trans friends. Was I a threat then? Am I one now? Have you always thought of me as a dangerous person? Did you really think I was threatening you? These are things I wanted to ask you. I don’t usually give people who pick fights with me multiple chances to walk away. I don’t warn them like I did you. You’ve seen me argue and you know this. You have to at least know I would never beat you up. I’ve slapped one person in my whole life and I still feel bad about that. I mean, come on, this is me. I rant online, but I’m practically a pacifist.  Identifying as transgender is not a result of child molestation. Being a  non-heterosexual is not the result of child molestation. This is a bullshit belief that even total homophobes and transphobes don’t express that much anymore. And being gay or trans doesn’t mean someone will molest children. Don’t believe what fear- and hate-mongers want you to believe. Don’t put your faith in people who won’t be honest with you. Did you even bother to look for a legitimate source on any of those articles? Ooh. Tabloids. So trust-worthy, especially ones with links to UKIP, BNP, & Tories. But I guess that fits with your fear-mongering and with your love of Trump.6 I always knew you were a Republican, but I never realized how much hatred you carry in your heart.7 You want me to be educated on this issue, but you’re forgetting that I actually am educated. Remember early in our friendship when I was being booted from my college major with one semester left? Or that what that major was in? I know a Social Work degree and a GRE score high enough to get my Master’s is not as impressive as being able to make your own CBD oil, but it’s close, right? I […]

Dearest Marie



1
As children, most of us learn that winning isn’t everything and that we need to be gracious regardless. It can be hard to understand how to express oneself in a gracious way after any competition. It can be especially hard if someone who is held with high regard or is seen as an authority figure encourages bad behavior. When that person throws insults at people who he dislikes or who challenge him, you insult them to appease him. When he says he wants someone punched in the face, you might actually punch them in the face. When that person tells a group that he will pay their legal fees if they hurt someone for him, you might think he will have your back if you do something illegal. People don’t always behave rationally when egged on by their idol.  After Donald Trump lost in Utah, his fanbase immediately started talking about how Mormons conspired to make him lose the state. Tonight, a more prominent Trump fan started stirring that pot by pontificating about why a Mormon state like Utah would turn its back on Trump & vote for Ted Cruz. This was all other fans needed to see to begin their anti-Mormon tweets.  I saw one in particular who felt the need to suggest Mormons are child molesters. He was talking about the FLDS1 cult and I pointed this out. At first, he seemed to be interested in learning the differences. I thought that maybe he was a confused, but decent person.  I. Was. Wrong.    I was so very wrong. I understand politics can bring out passionate reactions in some, but that doesn’t excuse this. Nothing can. Being me, of course I blamed myself at first. You see, I was on a Twitter account I had created to show that Trump is not really distinguishable from certain public figures and fictional characters. It was a bit of entertainment for me. So my thought as I read that I deserved “to be raped by several men for God” was that I had brought this on myself. Luckily, that thought was quickly discarded as I remembered that I was not the one making a threat or encouraging the threats.  I mainly blame this user. I also blame Donald Trump. I blame every person who has amplified Trump’s hateful rhetoric. I blame people who don’t challenge Trump. I blame the people who look the other way on the threats and violence by Trump supporters. We haven’t randomly gotten to a point where these threats are made. This has been building since Trump announced his candidacy. Maybe even before that. But it has to stop.  Trump’s threat of riots if he isn’t nominated will likely come true. If people like this guy are inspired by Trump, we are in a world of hurt. No matter whether he gets the nomination or wins in November, the hate in the hearts of people like this user has been awakened. And it won’t just go away.   It doesn’t help that many turn a blind eye to these threats of retribution. I asked in an LDS group on Facebook for people with Twitter accounts to report this user.2 Well, a user seemed to think this was an odd request.3 I explained my reasoning & pointed out that this isn’t just some random rude comment about or to a single person. This person is threatening millions of people. That’s a big deal.  Donald Trump needs to get it across to his followers that they should behave like adults. I guess he will have to learn how to act like one first, though. He needs to say the threats and violence should stop, but then he’d have to stop inciting both. Americans need to work together to stop this hateboner crowd from completely demolishing this country, its laws, and its freedoms. There is no excuse for allowing Trump or his followers to continue to encourage hatred & violence. There is no excuse for a candidate who inspires his followers to threaten rape or murder.  Speak up and speak out to end this retribution game.  Photo credit: ♥ ella minnow peas ♥ via Visual Hunt / CC BY-SA The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ↩I know that Twitter sometimes acts more quickly on threats and abuse if multiple people report the behavior. ↩Even if the threats are just some random asshole being an asshole, the first response to these threats should not be, “Well, what do you expect me to do about this?” It should be obvious what you should do. ↩

Retribution: Win Or Lose


4
Sometimes I wish I could tie you up and take control of your whole life.  I doubt most people are ever told something like that. Well, those people aren’t me. My mom just said it.  She wants to control me completely.  She got upset because I received a package today; a book.1 She was less than thrilled over my receiving a package yesterday; an alarm clock.2 She would probably be pissed if she knew that I bought my own sheets and a blanket a few months ago.3 So she told me she’d like to control me completely.  I mumbled that she already does a good job of that.   She got pissed because I was mumbling, so I had to repeat the line to her.  Apparently that doesn’t make sense to her. She lets me talk to whoever I want to online. She doesn’t stop me from going outside by myself for walks.  When I mentioned how she manipulates me & uses guilt trips to get me to do things she wants, she denied it. She doesn’t see herself as manipulative. She says she never uses guilt trips to exert control. She said that I could point out when she uses manipulation & guilt trips to control me so that she can figure out if she really is doing so. I told her that I have done this and she always says she wasn’t trying to manipulate me. And her response to that was that I’ve never told her anything about how she manipulates me. This is all two days after she tried using both to convince me that I should be in a serious relationship. She was using my insecurities about not being loved or liked enough for someone against me. It’s not the first time. Typically she throws in some subtle digs at my health issues or my lack of money. Or she will suggest that she is afraid that something will happen to one or both of us if I leave.4  Or she threatens to keep Amy if I talk about moving out. It reinforces fears and insecurities, which guarantees that I will always be there to take care of her, because my being her personal servant is all she really wants.  It isn’t what I want and has actually been a source of a lot of stress for me. What happens if I’m allowed to break free one day? I can’t leave her behind completely. She’s my mom. I love her even when she treats me badly. I know that what she says and does is meant to hurt me. And I don’t have many people in my life who actually want to be around me, so cutting her out would leave me almost totally alone in the world.5 I feel like I have to accept her mistreatment of me to guarantee that I won’t be by myself or unloved. For me, manipulative love is better than no love at all.  Photo credit: tobym via VisualHunt / CC BY-NC-ND One book, not a bunch of books. A single book. ↩My father decided in 2012 that he would take my alarm clock that I’d had since I was six years old when his quit working. I’m replacing that. ↩I bought those because old ones were falling apart & I couldn’t get anyone to understand that I needed new ones. ↩She’s threatened suicide a few times. Given her history, I take it seriously every time. ↩My greatest fear in the world is being completely alone. ↩

‘Cause It’s All About Control