9
June

You Have Questions, I Have Answers

It’s that time again. I have to go through my Formspring account to go through all of the questions. I didn’t answer all of them, because some were not questions and/or they didn’t apply to me personally. I figured that instead of spamming the Facebook, Tumblr, or Twitter feeds of other people or posting separate posts on here per question, I would make one big Q&A post. If you have any questions that you want to ask, there are links below for my Formspring account and my Tumblr ask box. If you’d rather ask questions here, then that’s fine, too.

Question: I want you to try to stop saying the word “fat.” To stop saying “That’s so gay” or fag. To stop saying “retard.” To stop telling people you don’t care. Why Because words CAN hurt people. Sometimes MORE than sticks and stones. Don’t cause someone’s scar.
Answer: I don’t say those things. The only time I say the word fat is in reference to myself.

Question: What do you think of me??!!
Answer: I don’t know who you are, so I don’t have any opinion about you.

Question: What are your dreams u die die want to achieve??
Answer:I’m not quite sure what you’re asking, but I’m guessing that you want to know what I want to do before I die. I would like to finally get my act together and finish the novels I’ve been trying to write for years. I would like to get married and have kids. I would like to be able to have my opinions respected by people that I know in real life. (Some people refuse to listen to me because my opinions are so different from their opinions.)

Question: If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?
Answer: LOL! I don’t know, but that’s a good question.

Question: Why does a gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
Answer: I think they do it so that people will feel calmer and more relaxed. I think that if women had to undress in front of their doctors that they might feel uncomfortable.

Question: Formspring has be come very overcrowded recently, we are looking to cut down on our users so please show us that you are active and press “ask followers” (below this question). Anyone who fails to do this within 4 days will be removed from formspring.
Answer: Obviously, since you posted this a week ago and I’m only now even looking at it, this isn’t a legit issue. I would recommend that people not pass along rumors and things like this. Generally, they aren’t true.

Question: If you were able to hang with ASkars for the day, what would you do?
Answer: I could say something perverted or obscene, but I think if I were actually going to hang out with him for the day that I would just want to talk and get to know him. He always seems really cool, and I think that talking to him would be really fun.

Question: What’s your favorite tree?
Answer: My favorite tree is the Weeping Willow tree. I’ve always loved that kind of tree, even before Buffy came along and before we named one of our Basset Hounds after the BtVS character. I always thought they were beautiful, when I was a child. They always seemed kind of magical to me. Also, they’re one of the few trees that I have never been allergic to in my life.

Question: Is there a celebrity you just can’t stand? Who is it and why don’t you like them?
Answer: There are a couple. I think the one that I like the least is Tom Cruise. The reason is fairly simple. He was going on talk shows to promote some movie and his new relationship with Katie Holmes. While he was on some of these shows, he made it clear that he is an idiot when it comes to information about mental illness and mental health care. Though I believe that people have a right to their opinions, I felt that such an influential person going on national television and bashing something that people rely on to survive was wrong. He may have influenced someone to the point that they quit their meds and counseling and ended up hurting someone they know or doing harm to their own body/life. I also am a bit anti-Tom Selleck. He went on The Rosie O’Donnell Show and defended the NRA and the ability to access guns. He did this just weeks after Columbine. Of course, there are also some idiots who think that they can enter the political world. *cough*Sarah Palin*cough* Other than that, I can’t really think of anyone.

Question: Which Greek God and Goddess are your favorites?
Answer: I would say my favorite Greek goddess is either Artemis or Gaea. My favorite Greek god would be Apollo.

Question: If you could trade places with a celebrity for a week, who would you choose and why?
Answer: Probably someone on Glee or True Blood. I would love to know what it is like to be on the sets of those shows and to get to know the cast.

Question: Who’s your favorite twitter celebrity?
Answer: I don’t know. Probably the Voldemort twitter account. It always is interesting.

Question: When it’s hot out, what do you do to stay cool? And let’s assume you don’t have AC.
Answer: I would say being in the morgue would keep me cool. AC isn’t enough to keep me cool. I have to keep ice packs on me a lot of the time to keep me from getting sick from the heat.

Question: What is your favorite cartoon?
Answer: I don’t know. I’m not really a cartoon girl.

Question: Who is your favorite superhero?
Answer: Underdog.

Question: One movie that makes you cry every time you watch it… go!
Answer: A Walk to Remember

Question: What would you attempt to do, if you knew you couldn’t fail?
Answer: I don’t know. Maybe time travel. I mean, if you couldn’t fail, then you wouldn’t look dumb when you tried and it didn’t work. Most of the time when you fail at things, no one notices. Usually the only time that failures are noticed is when they are related to something big. So that would be the only time you’d really worry about failure. I figure that time travel is a fairly big concept.

Question: When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Answer: People.

Question: Out of your 5 senses (hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste), which one could you do without?
Answer: I think I’ve answered this question before, but I’ll answer it again. I would probably say sight. Even though I enjoy the beauty of things, I feel like my other senses are more important to me as a person.

Question: Would you risk your life for your best friend? How far would you go to risk your life – even if that meant taking your life?
Answer: It would be nice if I said that I would, but I don’t really know.

Question: Are there any songs with your name in that you like?
Answer: In the title? Only for my middle name. I really like Dirty Diana. In the lyrics, I like Nasty. I guess I kind of like Damnit Janet, but I haven’t really heard it enough to be sure.

Question: Will we ever have flying cars.?..God damn it I want a flyin….NO……. I demand a flying car.
Answer: I don’t know. I guess it is possible that eventually we will.

Question: What makes you angry?
Answer: Ignorance.

Question: When you’re on a date, do you think the man should pay or not?
Answer: If he asked me, I think he should pay. If I asked him, I should pay. The only way I would think differently is if we agreed to something different beforehand.

Question: DO you enjoy asking questioins, or answering them?
Answer: Yes. I love answering them, and I like asking them as well.

Question: What was the last film that made you cry?
Answer: I’m not really sure.

Question: Would you survive if Twitter closed?
Answer: Yes. I don’t have to be on Twitter to survive.

Question: Why do bad things always happen to good people? Why do good things always happen to bad people? Well, not all the time. But I think majority of the time it goes that way? Don’t you think? When will the good people get a ‘break’?
Answer: My opinion on this really changes depending on the day. I think that bad things probably happen because life, by its very nature, is unfair. Bad things probably happen to bad people as well, but we just don’t hear about it. It does sometimes think that good people have really bad things happen more often than bad people, but I don’t know why it would really happen more to one group than the other. Maybe it is because bad people are more likely to take advantage of the niceness offered by the good people than good people taking advantage of the bad folks. Maybe good people are just too nice for their own good.

Question: Glitter or shiny things?
Answer: Glitter!

Question: Could you imagine using this in public – discreetly? http://go-girl.com
Answer: Ew. No!

Question: Would you rather be alone with your own thoughts or entrenched with a million thoughts from others?
Answer: I’d rather be alone with my own thoughts. I think that knowing the thoughts of others might be too much for me to handle. It might also violate the privacy of other people.

Question: What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Answer: I wouldn’t do anything differently.

Question: What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
Answer: I eat sandwiches and meat differently. Instead of biting like most people, I have to put the food at my front teeth, then pull it with my hands to tear into/rip it.

Question: Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Answer: Doing the right things.

Question: Do you have any birth marks? if so where?
Answer: No birthmarks. I have freckles and some moles, but no birthmarks.

Question: Do you consider who holds the power of the social networks you use and what impact it has on you?
Answer: Yes. Sometimes it seems like those who run the networks are more intent on making money than providing a good service. I know that they are typically commercial ventures, so I get why they do it. It seems, though, that the quality of some of social media websites has declined because of the desires of those in charge to make money.

Question: Would you rather sweat green liquid out of your pores or fart blue smoke?
Answer: LOL! Ew. I guess the sweat thing, but either would be grotesque.

Question: Imagine that you were isolated in a remote part of the world. No phone, no internet, no social interaction with anyone. Describe your location and how you are feeling.
Answer: I would probably feel sleepy. I know that right after the April 27th tornadoes, when we had no power and intermittent cell service, I did a lot of sleeping. I think that I rely on all of the internet interactions to keep my brain going. Otherwise, it seems to go into hibernation mode.

Feel free to ask me and questions that you have at formspring or tumblr. You can also post questions to the fuzzypinkslippers.com version of this entry. I will try to answer them all.

 

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25
April

10 Day Challenge: Day 1

Okay, it may seem completely ridiculous, but while I finish up the 30 Days of Truth thing, I’m also going to do this 10 Day Challenge that I saw posted on libere’s tumblr. All 10 prompts are posted at the bottom. The topic for the first day is:

Day 1: Ten Things You Wanted/Want to Be When You’re Older

  1. Teacher
  2. Hairstylist
  3. Fashion Designer
  4. Music Producer/Manager
  5. Psychologist/Therapist
  6. Politician
  7. Doctor
  8. Actress/Singer/Artist
  9. Dancer/Dance Teacher
  10. Writer

The first thing I ever remember wanting to be was a teacher.  It kind of made sense.  My dad’s sister and her (late) husband were teachers down in South Alabama.  (Their daughter, my only female first cousin, has since become a teacher.)  My great-grandmother (mom’s dad’s mom) was also a teacher.  Education was something that was always stressed in my family.  So, for years, I planned to be a teacher.  In fifth grade, I would even sit down and make out potential lesson plans.  Nutty, I know, but I just really wanted to teach.  Of course, that changed at some point in middle school.  I think that as I became more and more anxious, depressed, etc., I became more wary of possibly being a teacher.  It may have also come from some strain that I felt with some (bad) teachers and the school system’s punishment of anyone that they thought was a truant.

I also remember wanting to be a hairstylist from early on.  It always seemed like a wonderful way to show off my more creative side.  I decided against it when I realized that if I messed up someone’s hair, they would have to live with it for a long, long time.

I used to sit at my Nana’s house and sketch clothes in this little notebook that I had down there.  I’ve always had ideas for clothes floating in my head, but I’ve never formally studied fashion design or even sewing.  My designs would probably be rubbish, but I always thought it would be cool to make clothes.  I thought that if I became a designer, then there could be fashionable stuff for people who are above average size or below wealthy financial status.

I don’t remember where the urge to become a music producer or manager started.  I had planned on going to Middle Tennessee State University which has (or had–don’t know if they still have a good one) a good program for music industry related degrees.  I’ve always loved music, and I figured that since I didn’t have the right look for the artist side that I could use my ear to find talent.  I think that my anxiety/depression kept me from pursuing this.

As some (long-time) readers might know, I studied Social Work in college.  I almost graduated with a BSW and was planning on getting a Master’s degree in Social Work (MSW).  I thought that my experience with mental health issues (my own and as a friend/family member of folks with them) might help me with the career path.  Of course, my experience ended up being the reason that I couldn’t graduate.  (As I’ve mentioned a few times before, teachers in the program decided that because I was diagnosed at the time with Bipolar Disorder that I couldn’t graduate.  The decision came when I had 2 classes left in the program and after they’d had 3 [almost 4] years of knowledge of my nuttiness.)

In school, I was always running for offices.  I blame some of my family history for the desire to hold power.  I have ancestors who range from royals to local politicians.  I don’t think I could get elected, though, because of my political leanings and the fact that I am open about my mental and medical health statuses.

I was really tempted to study medicine, but my mom told me that I would probably have some issues because of how worn out I get when I miss some sleep.  (I can also get hyper from missing sleep, though.)  So, I never really got to study medicine.

I thought about being a singer and actress for a while.  Though I know that I can actually sing, I’ve been told that my acting skills are a bit on the lackluster side.  (They had been good in high school, but sometime after that, they dwindled.)  I also realized (early on) that I don’t look like someone who would be successful in “the biz”, and (unfortunately) looks are generally more important than talent in show business.

I studied dance from an early age through sixth grade.  I loved it, especially ballet, and I really wanted to teach little kids to dance.  I always felt that dance had the ability to teach children discipline as well as grace and creativity.  After I started spraining joints regularly and was eventually told that I could never dance again, I realized that it would be pretty impossible to teach dance.

I still plan on someday penning novels.  I have a notebook full of ideas, and I really want to write them one day.  I’m always having trouble writing and thinking that its anymore than mindless junk. I’ve always told stories, though.  I used to scribble on paper and read the “stories” to my family, even though nothing was actually written.  I also would write stories on our old Tandy computer when I was in preschool and elementary school.  Some of the stories were printed out and donated to my first elementary school.  They bound them and put them on display in the school’s library for a while when I was there.

The Prompts

Day 1: Ten Things You Wanted/Want To Be When You’re Older

Day 2: Nine Things You Can’t Live Without

Day 3: Eight Places You Want To Visit

Day 4: Seven People Who Inspire You, and Why?

Day 5: Six of Your Favorite Books

Day 6: Five Things You Can Eat Everyday

Day 7: Four Songs That Describe Your Life Right Now

Day 8: Three favorite Cartoon Characters

Day 9: Two Movies You Absolutely Love

Day 10: One Quote That Describes Your Life Right Now

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10
February

One Week

Today is the 10th of February, which means that there’s exactly 1 week until my birthday. (Presents would be awesome. Heh. I kid. I kid.) It also means that in 2 days I will be exactly the same age that my mother was when she had me. I don’t think that I’m ready to be 27 yet. Of course, I guess that doesn’t matter since we all end up aging whether we’re ready for it or not.

As I did last year, I’ve set up a birthday wish for donations to be sent to AARDA. I’m doing better in donations this year. Instead of $0 raised so far, I’ve actually raised $10. The person who donated is one of my friends who has MS, which is an autoimmune disorder. I was a bit surprised that anyone donated.

Since it’s almost birthday time, it was also time to renew fps. (Like I’ve mentioned multitudes of times, fps is going to be 10 this year and was a present from my mom for my 17th birthday.) So, this domain will be around for another year. (I plan on keeping it much longer.) I also renewed the domains for several of my tumblrs and my opinions blog. (I need to blog more on the latter domain.)

In non-related birthday stuff, I need to start getting together all the information that I’ll need for my rheumatology appointment in Birmingham. I tend to go to these kinds of appointments with absolutely no information on-hand and fill out the forms from my (shrinks-when-I’m-nervous) memory. I don’t want to do that this time, so I guess that means I have work to do.

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26
January

Writ of Stupidity

My parents went yesterday to stop Wells Fargo from garnishing their account since the only thing in it was the disability payment from Social Security. When they got there, they were apparently told that the less than $200 in their account had already been seized by the bank–most of it for the bank’s $100 fee. This, as you might already know, was the wrong thing to do.

My parents had 30 days to respond to the order which was issued on the 19th (a week today). That meant that the money wasn’t supposed to be garnished for those 30 days. The money was gone within the first week, though. So, my parents had to go to the local Legal Aid office.

They found out that a lot of banks do this. They also found out that the lawyer’s office (Nathan & Nathan) that pursued the debt has a tendency to pursue debts that they know can’t be paid–thus they pursue frivolous lawsuits.

My parents and I have to go in tomorrow to the Legal Aid office to sign some paperwork to stop the garnishment. (I have to go since $200 of my money goes into their account every month to cover the expenses I’m supposed to pay as part of the SSI thing.) The lawyers told my parents that they probably won’t get the money back, but that hopefully this will stop the freezing of the account and will prevent any more money from being taken.

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13
August

You’ve Got to Dig

My hair is getting longer quickly. It always surprises me how fast hair grows back in. It’s almost to a decent length (for me). I’ve always hated the way I look with short hair. It helps certain features and makes others worse. Of course, I know that I’m the only one who notices that kind of thing about me.

The house that belonged to the bad neighbors has been purchased. It was actually sold a couple of weeks ago, but I never really paid attention to it. I can’t only hope that the people who move in are not quite as devilish as the last owners. Maybe they’ll actually be nice to all of their neighbors, instead of treating everyone in the neighborhood like crap.

I paid off the fine and the court costs for the overgrown grass thing a couple of weeks ago. I had to hunt out my checkbook, and when I got up there, they said that it was one of those things that had multiple fines (not true) and had to be paid with a debit or credit card. So, I did that. I thought it was funny that my court slip said something different from the person working in the cashier area. Maybe the judge doesn’t know the policy? I doubt that.

This layout at fps has only been up around 24 hours and I already am sick of it. I hate it when I make stuff because by the time I put things up, I end up thinking that they are absolute rubbish. I’ll probably think it’s super-duper-incredible-fantastic when I wake up tomorrow.

I’m hoping that after next week, I can figure out what is officially wrong with me. I am so sick of these specialists. Most of them are nice, but having to fill out new paperwork all the time is not fun, and none of them wants to look at the whole picture. I used to see specialists in high school, when my health was getting crappy (prior to massive insanity), and it was always confusing because even I didn’t know what which doctor knew. I understand that they have specialties for a reason, but part of treatment has to do with looking at where certain issues lie on a spectrum.

I may be dyeing my hair this weekend. I’ve meant to do it since the sinus surgery, but I’ve chickened out. I’ve actually got all of the stuff that is recommended to do it, but I haven’t done it yet. On this, I am like a coop full of chickens scared of messing up my hair. It’s finally not really damaged, and I’m a bit worried that it might get damaged using the dye. I also can’t figure out which color I want to try. I have a bright pink, a dark pink, and black. I’ve had dark hair in the past, and it actually looks almost natural on me. (My dad’s family has dark hair.)

I’m hoping my mom wakes up soon. Last week, when we went to Wal-Mart, it was my week to pay. Well, I had left my debit card in my jacket from when I saw Eclipse, so I decided to try to write a check. Of course, I almost never write a check and this check was in the first 100 checks. So, even though I had the money in the account and an ID to prove my identity, their computer rejected the check. Since it was around 2 in the morning, I couldn’t exactly call the number that they gave me. My mom picked up the cost, and she said to write her a check to reimburse her. Well, that’s what I’ve been planning on doing, except that last night she said that she wants me to just cover this week’s groceries instead. She didn’t tell my dad about this, because he would get upset, so he asked me tonight to make sure that the check was ready to go to the bank in the morning. I didn’t really know what to say. I know he would probably handle this kind of thing coming from me better than her, since lately he’s been nicer to me than her, but I don’t want her to go through that kind of wrath-like state that he might go into if he gets upset. It always breaks my heart to see him snap at her, even when she’s being naggy. I know that my mom is really strong, but the way that he talks to her sometimes, it makes her seem like she’s fragile. I guess almost 30 years together can cause a couple to know which buttons to press.

Oh, and even if I’m not doing fanlistings anymore, I’m glad that I started talking to more of the people from TFL again last year. I really enjoy talking to Haley, Shu, Christina, Ashley, Kara and everyone else in the middle of the night. I have had so much fun with our wacky conversations. I feel sorry for anyone who is up and following me on Twitter in the middle of the night that doesn’t know what is going on. Honestly, some of our stuff is pretty crazy, but it’s always a good stress reliever.

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18
November

Busy Week

This is supposed to be a busy week for me. Yesterday was my only off day. Today I had an appointment with the gynecologist. Tomorrow is pdoc. Thursday is the therapist. On Friday, I have two tickets to see Twilight.

My gynecologist was busy today, so I only got to see the nurse and the nurse practitioner. The nurse was lucky that I went in in a relatively good mood because she was extremely rude. She announced twice that I had gained 15 pounds…loudly. She then chastised me for gaining said weight and then pestered me on the cause of my visit. I kept telling her that my hormones were screwed up and THAT was the reason my periods have been gone since the summer. She kept insisting that I must be pregnant. Now, I’m no health care professional, but I do believe I have had enough of a biology lesson to know that if you don’t have sex, you don’t get pregnant. Now, I do believe in the whole exception to that rule thing, but I was not visited by angels, nor do I think that I have been inseminated in my sleep by the Spirit. So basically, I knew I wasn’t pregnant, but she would not let it go. Finally, she said, “Well, maybe he won’t make you take a pregnancy test, but I doubt it.” Grr! Oh, and she gave me a hard time about my blood pressure being so high, after she had thoroughly made me mad. The nurse practitioner spent a good deal of time with me. We talked about how I’ve had reactions to birth control pills in the past when trying to get all regulated. We also talked about how impossible it was for me to get pregnant without sex. She told me that she was fairly certain I had PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), but she was going to run some tests to confirm. So I had to have blood drawn, and the person who did that was actually able to do it in one-stick. That was a God-send.

Tomorrow, I have my five month checkup with the psychiatrist. He’ll tell me how relatively sane I might be, or insane as the case may be. I will have to remember to take my form from UAH to get them to say that I’m a crazy girl and need assistance on tests because of my nuttiness. Fun stuff.

Thursday is my monthly visit with the therapist, though I missed the October one. When I go too long without psychiatric or psychological treatment, I get antsy. Thursday will also be my day to call my family doctor AGAIN to get them to schedule me for a visit with the neurologist to see why I have been having what my mom refers to as “seizures” since I was a little kid.

Friday, of course, is Twilight. All I have to say is that it better not suck.

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3
March

My first entry

Wow. This is my first entry in my new diary. I have a diary offline that I’ll keep my juiciest secrets in, but this one is for the not so juicy stuff.

So right now, life sucks. I mean, my friends are great, but I’m not exactly the happiest chickadee in the world. It seems like everytime I get my life under control, I suddenly lose control of it. I guess that’s part of the psych problems I have. I have OCD, Depression, Panic Disorder, Anxiety problems, and I cut myself. I also have binge eating disorder, which really makes me feel like an ugly cow.

So I guess I need to let you know about me. Well, I’m 17 and from Alabama. I love *NSYNC. I have a foster brother “E”. I live with him and my parents. I dropped out of school in January because of my health problems, but I plan on going to college and becoming a psychologist. I want to help teenagers who are going through some of the same problems as I am. So I guess that’s all I can think of for now.

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