17
September

We Got The Beat

First off, I wanted to say congratulations to Jennifer on the birth of Audrey Lynn.  I happened to stumble onto her blog this afternoon and saw the precious photo of her.  She’s just too cute.

Okay, so, yesterday was my dad’s moody day, which actually makes sense.  As a kid/teenager, I hated Thursdays.  Thursdays were always the days that he would act like a toddler who had had all of his toys taken away and then smashed.  So, him reverting into that attitude actually seemed rather normal for him.

Now that I’m back on the interwebz and all, I thought I would once again promote Urban Sunrise, the 18+ forum that I run with Haley, Kara, Ashley, Angela, Jef, Natasha, Bren, Kate, etc.  With my absence and everyone else having real life obligations, the boards kind of slowed down.  So, if you’re over 18 (or a really mature 17), then please go join.  If you’re not into boards, but know someone who is, then please spread the word.  I would really like to have them be a lot more active.  Plus, we don’t bite.  Or, I know I don’t.  I can’t guarantee that the rest of the staff doesn’t.

I forgot to eat yesterday almost all day.  I woke up yesterday at around 9.  I didn’t eat until 5 in the afternoon, which was about 20 hours since the last meal I had had.  Needless to say, I was about to fall over from weakness, tremors, etc. because my hypoglycemia was not very happy with me.

I’m glad that my computer is back, but it still seems to be different.  Maybe once I find a decent wallpaper to use, it will feel more like home.  I had been using the ones that Melody had made for my TFL Secret Santa–one with Alexander Skarsgård in black & white (for my artsy account) & the other with Eric & Sookie from S2 (on my main account).  I know that I could’ve backed some stuff, but I honestly didn’t think it would ever get lost.  I’m also going to have to find a whole new set of fonts & brushes, since those are all gone.

I hope that Kate doesn’t get offended, but this morning I changed up my livejournal look.  It had been up since February, and, though I loved it, I kind of wanted a new look.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to come up with something better than the look it has right at this moment, but I think it looks fairly nice.

I got a little annoyed today at Technorati.  I had requested that this site be put back on their index.  Apparently, when they reviewed it, they determined that it didn’t meet their guidelines.  I sent them an email back asking why my site didn’t meet their guidelines, yet so many others (that have similar content, use similar scripts, and even go a little more commercial) are okay’d.  It seemed a little fishy.  I don’t even know why this site was taken off their index to begin with.  I know that not being included in Technorati is not the end of the world, but it would be nice if they would at least explain better what was “wrong” with this site.

I’m really thirsty today, which I think may have something to do with weather…or maybe I’m not drinking enough. I don’t really keep track of it as well as I used to.  I think I’ve begun slacking on my Sjögren’s issues.  The sicca symptoms have been pretty bad lately.  I have to be careful in the fall, because it starts getting drier and slightly cooler and I forget that I still need to keep myself just as hydrated.  One day I will remember how to do all these things.

I’ve begun obsessing a little about what to do in February of next year, when the site turns 10.  I want to celebrate, but I just haven’t decided how to do that.  Any suggestions would be great.

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20
August

Imma Be

Tonight has been strange. Well, I think that everyday is unique/strange/unusual, but this day seems to be one of those really odd ones. First there was the strange coincidence of several TFL folks eating pizza, which I guess isn’t that strange when you think about how Friday is one of those days when pizza is considered a valid dining choice. Then, there was my odd decision to finally start adding more people I know from real life on my Twitter account. This probably means that I should either adjust my behavior to something more fitting with my real life friends’ tastes and personalities, or just be me, and hope that they are okay with it. I’ll probably do the latter. I’m sick of trying to be the girl that people want me to be, and not being the girl that I actually am. Tonight was also the night that I got a rude wall posting from someone I know from real life, where I was told that we could no longer be friends because I’m “very fat and very ugly”. Another friend explained that the other guy was going through some issues in his personal life, and that, though that didn’t excuse his behavior, those issues explained why he was acting in an inappropriate manner.

I’ve sort of been thinking over the past few days about how my life has changed over the (almost) ten years that I’ve had fuzzypinkslippers.com. I’ve gone from a girl who dropped out of high school to a girl who dropped out of college. I’ve gone from someone who never saw people she knew from high school and other real life outlets to someone who never sees people from high school, college, and other real life outlets. I’ve gone from a girl who spent a lot of times at different appointments to a girl who spends a lot of time at different appointments. So, basically, my life hasn’t really changed all that much.

I need some suggestions about promoting Urban Sunrise. I was thinking about having a referral contest. Sometimes those work. Basically, you join, then have your friends join and say you referred them, and at the end of the contest, the person with the most referrals will win. I think that might work, but I would prefer that people actually post if I do this. (I’ve done a contest like this before, and people would refer other folks, but no one would post.

I’m really getting sick of this layout, so I may try making a new one soon…or I’ll post a premade one until I make a new one.

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9
June

Fanlistings and such

I’m thinking of not doing fanlistings anymore. I talk to most of the fanlistings people on other sites, and I think that ends up being the part of the whole thing I enjoy most of all. The people. Maybe that’s because of my inherent laziness. Maybe it’s because I tend to go through these phases. Maybe it’s because I’ve been in more and more pain lately and just feel like I need to find out what I can and can’t do anymore. I don’t know.

But honestly, I just feel tired of running fanlistings, making layouts, doing codes, and all of that. I don’t even feel like adopting them out. Besides, last time I adopted them out, I ended up adopting out to the faker-girl who got the Avatars fanlisting, closed it a month later, ended up being discovered as an evil genius person, and basically made it so that when Kya ended up with said fanlisting, she had to completely start over. (In other words, I can be a lousy judge of character, and I wish that I had given said fanlisting to Kya to start with because I think Kya is awesome and she’s always upfront about her genious-ness.) So, if you end up with any of the fanlistings, let me know. I’ll send the members list.

I just hope I don’t lose the friendships, or that I become like a complete outcast amongst the TFL crowd. (I know some people don’t care for me, but that’s okay.)

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20
February

Over and Over Again

Okay, every time I’ve gone to write this lovely entry, I’ve gotten mental blockage and just trashed it. So, let me see if I can write it now.

I am still waiting for another chance to get my sinuses CT-ed. Of course, I’ll want to laugh in my ENT’s face if they are infected. It just doesn’t make sense otherwise. Why would they start getting bad around the time I was exposed to an infection? Why would the symptoms be indicative of an infection? I know, it’s one of the longest infections known to carbon-based life forms, but still it is an infection.

I got a lot of birthday messages on Facebook and other places on my birthday. It was neat. I even got messages from family members who I don’t remember meeting in real life. (I’ve tried to add all the family members that I can think of from my family history file.) Of course, it was some of the family members that didn’t send me messages that kind of bugged me. It’s weird to get them from cousins you’ve never seen or ones you rarely see, but not from ones who have seen you regularly since you were born. Maybe I’m just being selfish. I just expected for some cousins to acknowledge that my birthday existed. Oh well, said cousin will still get a happy birthday message on his 40th birthday this year.

I’m moving my fanlisting collective to a subdomain on the domain that it’s currently on. It will be at fan.stayfrosty.us. I’m also moving almost all of the fanlistings. Fun stuff, right?

QPB sent me a message that I had only had a year on my contract, so that’s why I got the shock of my life. Well, why not send me an email prior to the big day with a note that says, “You’re approaching your 1 year mark, so please buy a book.” It just seems kind of rude to go ahead and charge someone for 2 books, when a person didn’t know they were going to be charged. Besides, what would they have done if the money hadn’t been in the account? Oh well, apparently, I get 2 free books, so I’m planning on getting The Hunger Games and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. After I receive them, my QPB will be canceled. After I pay off Doubleday, that account will be canceled as well.

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18
February

Tis a weird day…

I find it odd when I find out today that at least 3 people who I didn’t think I’d pissed off have me blocked on Twitter, I have a 2 star rating on TFL’s board (was 3 yesterday), and Scott Baio no longer blocks me on Twitter. (Still not going to follow him.) What happened? Am I really that annoying? I mean, I know I’m annoying, but I really don’t get the whole rating/blocking thing.

It doesn’t really bother me as much as it just seems odd.

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14
February

There’s No Need to Fear, Reruns are Here

So I was up quite a lot yesterday. Apparently, my mom decided that it would be fun to go to Wal-Mart yesterday. I wanted to take a nap before an Olympic hockey game was supposed to start (Sweden and Switzerland) because I’d been up all night, and I was feeling quite sick. Well, since my mom was going to Wal-Mart, I had to go. Not because I wanted to go, necessarily, but because of her whole “I need someone to go with me” thing. So I went, I saw, I got a pair of $3 shoes, and I came home. I got home just in time to see the hockey game, except it wasn’t on the channel it was supposed to be on at its specified time. This led to the falling asleep thing, which led to the sleeping through most of the games today.

The interesting thing about the ones on NBC, though, are that they get covered on the late night rebroadcast. The hockey game does not. So, I have missed out on the Swedes kicking the butts of the Swiss. Ah…c’est la vie. However, I better not miss anymore hockey.

I feel like I’ve joined a million groups and pages on Facebook for the shooting. I don’t really know what joining the groups does. I guess I could choose not to join, but then I’d feel a bit bad for not joining. I guess life is a system of guilt trips and stuff like that. Not really something that you want to realize.

Guess who turns 26 on Wednesday? That’s right, I do. Fun, right? I get to turn 26. I really dread 26. Being 25 was crappy enough. I can’t imagine how sucky 26 is going to me. What am I going to discover about my life this next year that I don’t particularly want to know? Probably something not fun. I know, that’s not a positive, life-affirming way to look at my life. You know what? I don’t care. I hear constantly about how things would be so much better for me if I just was a bit more positive. Uh-huh. I think there is a certain point where positivity doesn’t do anything anymore. Positivity isn’t going to change the way my immune system works. Positivity isn’t going to rebuild my joints. Positivity isn’t going to take away the sinus problem that is never ending. Positivity will just be another word for something that isn’t that well-respected. What would that be? DENIAL.

Oh, and in news of the bizarre, plus fangirlish stuff, I was informed by Joey that he’s letting me adopt the fanlisting for Whitney Houston. When did I receive the email? Shortly after the last blog entry was written…the entry where I disclosed that I had wanted to be Whitney as a child. I also got emails from Missy and J.D. that I was chosen to adopt the fanlistings for Natalie Maines and BtVS: 2.01 – When She Was Bad, as well as 2 approvals from Ed for brand new fanlistings for Doctor Who: 4.13 – Journey’s End and 2.00 – The Christmas Invasion. This fangirl geek is quite happy.

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6
December

Long Time, No See

I’m not dead. I haven’t gone through any of my moderated messages (all 1370 of them) yet, but I’m sure that someone asked if I was okay. The truth is that I don’t know. This past month has been hectic, but I’ve survived, which I guess is a good thing.

Do you remember how I had to go on Inderal to reduce my tremors caused by Lithium? Well, since Inderal is a blood pressure medication and my blood pressure tends to run on the low end of normal, which is a weird thing for a “fat girl”, the Inderal was causing me to feel faint and to almost fall several times a day. I cut down to one pill at night. Well, since I cut that down, the 1200 mg of Lithium started doing a number on my tremors. I couldn’t handle money or anything valuable. I could punch in my PIN number or sign my own name. My mom and I decided that it was time that I lower my Lithium dosage until it’s time for me to go see my psychiatrist. It’s kind of working. I still shake, and now I’m more depressed.

Speaking of being depressed, which is something my Art of Interviewing doesn’t really understand, I’ve spent a lot of time sleeping and not wanting to stop sleeping. I’ve just been trying to avoid reality and pain and stress. It didn’t work, but I feel a little better rested than I have in a while. That doesn’t mean that once I finish this entry that I won’t go get on the couch and go back to sleep. Actually, I can’t go back to sleep today. I have my last final and my last speech to prepare for for tomorrow. Bleh.

I also need to type up a letter saying how bad my Art of Interviewing teacher has been. I have to remember how she had a “strict dress code” that only applied to people who weren’t a part of her clique. I have to remember the extreme favoritism that she showed towards said clique. I have to remember that the woman who said she didn’t cuss anymore used several profane words when yelling at us over a test that a lot of us failed, except members of said clique. I have to remember when she said that being gay was wrong. I have to type up how she wanted verbatim answers when she said she didn’t want them, and then turned around and told us that she wanted us to answer the questions verbatim. I have to remember how she picked on certain students. I have to remember that when she was giving our Chapter 11 test that she hadn’t even read the chapter. I have to remember that she changed Jenny’s and my interview appointment time without telling us. I also have to remember that she said she was too busy to make it up, and then on Friday, I saw her eating candy upstairs with nothing to do. Basically, it’s going to be a long letter. I just don’t know how to put it all together.

The test that most people failed in AoI was one that I got a 36.5, despite studying a lot for it. This leads to the teacher saying that if we failed we didn’t study. Then, I turned around and made an 81 and 82 on the next two tests. I think I got a 100 on the last test we took. I’m not stupid and I am studying. The only big difference between those tests and the ones I failed were that they were basically over 1 chapter at a time, instead of 2-3.

Another school related thing–I got a roommate. She seems nice, but I was quite shocked that she came into my room mid-semester, no past mid-semester. The dorm counselors thought that I would automatically be okay with it. But how can you be okay with something you didn’t know was going to happen so soon? How can you just smile and say that’s great? I’m having to get used to her stuff and her being there. Next semester she’ll have to get used to my being there more, since I’ll be staying over Monday and Wednesday nights.

There has been some happy news. For the first time that I can remember, I bought a present for everyone who regularly spends Christmas with me. I also got gift cards to send to my cousins’ children on Daddy’s side of the family. I hope everyone likes their presents. I’m having a hard time keeping my dad from knowing what he’s getting. He hates for his presents to be spoiled, so I have to bite my lip to keep from telling him.

There is other happy news on the Christmas shopping front. With my Pell Grant refund, I bought lots of stuff for a Salvation Army Angel. Her name is Lexus and she’s 6. Instead of filling the one small bag that the Salvation Army gives to adopters, my family filled 3 of those bags plus 4 pretty large garbage bags. I hope that she’s an only child because if she got a lot of stuff and a sibling didn’t get much, it wouldn’t be fair.

I checked my weight over Thanksgiving and I’d lost another 10 pounds. That means that I’ve lost a grand total of about 30 pounds since the end of September. Only 70 more to go. The weight loss has been pretty evident. I’ve had to retire three pairs of jeans because when I’m in them, they fall off or almost fall off. One of those not only almost fell off, it caused me to trip and fall while walking to class a couple of weeks ago. That wasn’t fun. The only bad part, other than the wet and grassy leg, was that my hip hurt for a few days.

I plan on checking my e-mail after I get my finals done. It’s going to be crazy since I haven’t checked it in a month. Not checking it for a half of a week leads to like 1000 new messages on my main account. Most of them are spam, though. Since I haven’t been on so long, I probably have lost a few of my fanlistings, but I’m not really concerned with that right now. I got on and approved the pending members. That took quite a while.

I need to make a Christmas theme for this site. I wanted to make one for Autumn and Thanksgiving, but I was too busy with school and too depressed. I should probably make a general winter theme as well. I better not start making a list of what themes I need to make because then I’ll end up with like 100 themes to do and I’ll get burnt out.

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