I’m A Guy?

"if you are making a point, yes you do have to back it up. Please do not expect women to do free labor for you, even in your argument against us. #MaleEntitlement" - Juniper (Twitter user: SuzySuffragette)Having grown up in Alabama, I understand that bigots will go to extraordinary lengths to justify their rage and their hate. When I have supported groups like Black Lives Matter, I have been accused of only having sex with black men. When I supported marriage equality, I was labeled a lesbian. So I guess that it makes sense that my support of rights for transgender/non-binary people means that, drumroll please, I am a man.

No, you didn’t read that wrong. In the middle of the night last night, a stranger accused me of having male privilege.ย I cackled as I read it. Who knew that I’m a dude?! I would have expected my parents or my gynecologists over the years to have told me if I was a dude. I’m especially disappointed that the gynecologist who performed the hysteroscopy/uterine biopsy and D&C didn’t say, “Uh. This procedure can’t be performed on you.”

My family and doctors didn’t call me a dude becauseโ€ฆ

I’m not one.

Whether you subscribe to trans-exclusionary feminism’s1 reductive view of gender as being based on body parts or the inclusive view I subscribe to that admits gender & sex are not one in the same, this conclusion that I have male privilege makes no sense. I don’t have the body parts of a dude. I don’t feel I am a dude. Therefore:

A dude I am not.

In case you can’t speak Yoda, let’s try the standard English:

I think one of the reasons is because you stated you would fight to get a man who posts picture after picture of his come covered cock into safe spaces for women and girls because he says the magic words 'I am a woman'I’m not a dude/man/guy/boy/male.

I doubt I can put it any more clearly than that, but I’m sure that that won’t satisfy some of these individuals.

Calling me a guy because I disagree with what you feel a woman should believe is as hysterical as it is sad. But it’s not the first time that a TERF has gone this route. I would bet that if any woman spends any length of time debating them or disagreeing with them that TERFs would start questioning their biological sex. Or if they don’t question the sex of the person, they start saying that she is somehow incapable of thinking for herself and that men must have brainwashed her. The internalized misogyny is strong with TERFs.

How are they “liberating” women2 by denigrating women that don’t agree with them and suggesting that they are somehow unable to use their cognitive processes to come to their own opinions? It’s almost like their own version of a savior complex. They feel the need to “rescue” the poor little women who disagree with them from making informed decisions about their own lives and making conclusions about the things that they believe based on their own experiences. That’s not liberation. That’s oppression.

You can’t replace one form of oppressive system with another.

That just doesn’t work.

Or, more correctly, it doesn’t actually liberate anyone.

LM: Is Janet a man? | WW: I don't think so | WW: Not that there's any way to know, but I always thought Janet was a woman | LM: So she just capes hard for men Also, misrepresenting what people say so that you can perpetuate hatred and encourage a pile-on is not the action of those intent on liberating. The original angst fest by this “liberation” force began after I defended a male friend on Twitter after a female follower of mine said something about him being harmful because he uses the term TERF to describe people who are, well, TERFs. This was the tweet that was being responded to:

I cannot share the text of the tweet that I responded to as the user was reported3 to Twitter several tweets later for threatening to dox multiple individuals. But it is the threat to dox that alarmed me so much about this particular group of TERFs. I tried pointing out what was going on to Helen, which led to the response4 by Juniper that I have male privilege. Helen and other TERFs had insisted that their ilk couldn’t be behind the doxing threats or the ableism, racism, and other vitriol that I had seen while conversing with them. When Juniper came along, she decided that my outrage was due to my either having a penis or a feeling that I should have one. I’m really not sure how a person who has never been a man and who never wanted to be a man somehow has male privilege, so I asked.

M: So misgendering people, refusing to acknowledge basic rights for a marginalized group, & threatening to dox strangers isn't hate speech? | H: You seem to not be answering my question. But in answer to yours - misgendering? No, not hate speech. Impoliteness yes. | H: The other two are just bogus charges. This just isn't done by virtually anyone called TERFs. H: I'd obviously have to see it. Do you have the links? But I'm saying that you've said this is what TERFs do, and I'm saying it's just not. | M: Amazing you can't do a Twitter search to find these yourself. [links redacted] | M: Do I need to track down tweets of your compatriots using slurs for you to acknowledge those, too? M: Jenny literally threatened to dox multiple users last night, or did you miss that? | H: Yes. But even if she did (is she a master hacker?), this simply isn't systematic happening. Hate speech using TERF is. | Me: So you'll make excuses for her threats because it's not systemic behavior? And saying if suggests a you don't believe victims.

The tweets that Helen was referencing were from a different Twitter user who had offended her sensibilities by posting, on her own timeline, nude pictures and video. Helen encouraged a mob of individuals to report Meisha, even though Meisha’s posts do not violate the Twitter rules. She had already given me a hard time for pointing out to another individual that reporting Meisha would only lead to that person being punished by Twitter.

H: How far down the rabbit hole must you have gone to say publicly that you would fight to include a porn infused man into the safe spaces of women and girls? And have that man send you a tweet full of love hearts back without thinking 'whoa!!!'? | TJ: Don't know what ur referring to but there has always been groupies, enablers.When Helen had discovered the tweet she dislikes so, she had made sure that all of her followers could join in on her hate. Anyone who didn’t had to be shamed. I just didn’t want to play that game with her, so she went full-on with the faux outrage against me and even challenged my gender and biological sex because I supported a person who she didn’t like & who she was simply using to gain prominence amongst her TERFy peers.5 I was familiar with her technique because of the past disagreements with her,6 so I told her to leave me alone. Repeatedly. She thought that that was an invitation to harass me.7

I haven’t heard from her in almost 24 hours, which should bring me some level of happiness and relief, right?
Her posse has continued in her stead. And they have encouraged some more bizarre conspiracy theories about my not ditching Meisha for the tweet they didn’t approve of. Or for ditching her for sending a tweet featuring a heart emoji to me.

H: Just a conversation earlier with a woman. She can't possibly actually believe it though, I simply can't see how. | TJ: They don't believe it.Helen thought I was the one going down a rabbit hole8 here? Oh, that’s cute. My behavior is apparently an encouragement to cannibals. Not literal cannibals, the metaphorical type. She and her friends think that my being okay with a heart emoji from a transwoman means that I’m going to end up getting raped by frat boys and football stars.

Not only do I not think that Meisha is a man,9 I don’t think Meisha has any intention to rape me. Even if she was in the same town as me, I wouldn’t think that Meisha was going to rape me.

And I seriously do not think that receiving a tweet with 3 emojis is some kind of sign that I’m going to end up being raped by anyone. Are there rapists out there that have a signature of sending tweets with heart emojis to their future victims? I’m pretty sure there aren’t, but I haven’t seen a lot of Investigation Discovery lately, so I could be a bit behind on the MOs of recent or historical sexual predators.

I could be wrong.10

But I’m not.

TCC: I've just had a similar conversation. I think they honestly think these men are their friends. I think we know they are not. | WW: Good point. That's what my mother kept saying, w/such sorrow, wrt a doc about girls raped by frat boys&football stars--that the girls think these guys are their friends!! Meanwhile, the girls are invited to dinner as the meal. The rapes are premeditated party games. NOT friends. I already knew I couldn’t take Witchy very seriously.

Back in November, when she and Lise were discussing my genitalia and gender identity, I made the “mistake” of disagreeing with her. That kept her up all night, which she then blamed on me and she told me that the only reason that I have been diagnosed with multiple illnesses is that I am a “snowflake” and I broke my issues down into an awful thing: symptoms. I thought that anyone who went to a doctor did that. I almost wondered if I was doing the whole getting-treated-for-being-sick thing wrong. After a while, I realized that she was just a very unusual person.

(Maybe Katy Perry and I should be friends, since I’m apparently the kind of person who would be a straight-up enemy.)1112

S: I have warned many female coworkers over the years to be careful in situations where men are acting 'friendly' to take advantage have almost always had the women tell me that I was a meanie and those are good guys. And then they learned the hard way... As for the other folks? Well, I hate to generalize anyone, but if they’re all feeding into this sort of hysterical thinking, then I’m not going to take any of them seriously. I know that there are dudes out there who rape women. I know there are ones who play the role of nice guy to lure them in, but I am not so afraid of reality that I make up narratives in my head that any person who has a penis or who had one is going to rape me or is going to take advantage of me. If I let myself live in that kind of state, I would never be able to deal with my life. Being cautious is one thing, but being so terrified that you can’t even handle an emoji is just beyond reason.

As a woman and as a human being,13 I know that there’s a possibility that I could be a victim of sexual violence, but I’m not going to suspect random members of a marginalized group of being the potential perpetrator. That is ridiculous and it is bigoted. It’s not just the belief of someone who is a “meanie”, it’s the belief of someone who is so filled with hate and intolerance that they choose to lash out and punish people who they don’t know for something they haven’t even done. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown up in Alabama or because I’ve grown up with parents who have taught me right from wrong and to show love not hate to other people and other groups or because I’m not a shit-person. Who knows?! But I know that if not harboring this vitriol is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.14

P.S. I’m still a chick.

P.P.S. Debating someone’s genitalia, gender identity, or suggesting that they are living in the predatory fantasies of a hallucinogenic author for supporting the rights of transgender individuals is fucking wrong, assholes.15

  1. TERFs 

  2. TERFs don’t like the idea of feminism being about bringing about equality between men and women. It’s about liberating women. 

  3. by me 

  4. almost a month later 

  5. Gross. 

  6. It took days for us to eventually realize we would never agree and I thought that she would never contact me again, but she later went looking through the threads to find tweets she hadn’t responded to to harass me. 

  7. Gross. 

  8. I almost wish someone would explain to her how rife with sexual predation a Lewis Carroll/Alice in Wonderland reference is. 

  9. No transwoman is a man. All transwomen are women. No transmen are women. All transmen are men. 

  10. Take note: I almost never say that

  11. I’m kidding. 

  12. #swifty 

  13. I’m assuming that the next claim this group might say is that I’m a robot. 

  14. Rim-shot, please? 

  15. If you didn’t realize it before now, you’re definitely deserving of the ‘asshole’ moniker. 

About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.

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