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Biting Consequence 

I had to get up really early1 this morning to have blood drawn.2 I needed it for an as-yet-unscheduled appointment with the family doctor for a slut pill3 prescription.4 The phlebotomist today was stellar and hit the vein5 on her first try.6 

On the way home, I stopped at the Wellness Center and joined.7 I had to pay $158 because my insurance apparently no longer foots the whole bill.9 The person signing me up told me I could pay another $5 and get a little scan-in card for my keychain. I said I’d memorize my 16 digit number.1011 

I came home, called SSI for my review,12 finished reading Until You by Penelope Douglas, and took a nap.13 Nana called at around 4:00, which was also around the time I woke up. She asked if I’d gone for a walk yet, so14 I decided I should do that before dark.15 Amy had to go for her brief16 walks before I could go on mine. 

I decided to bump my walk distance up today.17 I walked to the yard where Barks While He Twirls and The Plucky Sidekick live.18 They greeted me at the fence and I stuck my hand down to let them sniff. I didn’t pull my jacket’s sleeve up, which probably got BWHT a bit freaked out, so he bit me. 

I don’t think he meant to bite me. He didn’t bite hard and the jacket did protect me from it breaking the skin. I wasn’t scared. I was a little surprised, but I realized that I probably was to blame for the bite, so I tried to greet him again. I rolled my sleeve up and calmly went in knuckles first, instead of the back of my hand. And guess what? He didn’t bite me. He and TPS demanded I pet them.19 He didn’t want me to stop petting him,20 but I did so that I could come home & ice my hand. 

The bruise is worse now than it was when I took that picture, but not too bad. I think it’ll be okay, but it’s probably going to be sore for a while. 

I couldn’t tell my family about the bite right when I got home because Mom was still talking to Nana. I knew even mentioning it would scare Nana.21 My dad was a little surprised when he heard because it’s such an un-BWHT thing to do.22 Mom is mainly trying to make sure an abrasion on my hand existed BEFORE I got bitten.23 I’m not worried about it.24

But I’ve learned that I need to be more careful in the future.25


  1. For me. 

  2. The fat girl special: lipid panel, A1C, & CMP. Yay, obesity! 

  3. Norethindrone, aka a progesterone only birth control pill. I call them slut pills because anytime legislation comes up, someone has to say something about women spreading their legs. Yay, slut-shaming! 

  4. I have to go back in for another three month prescription because my family doctor thinks my risk of blood clots is significant enough that I need regular monitoring. Yay, genetics! 

  5. With a big old, regular needle in my arm, not a butterfly in my arm, wrist, hand, or foot. 

  6. Yay, skilled medical professional! 

  7. Yay, exercise! 

  8. And I will have to continue to pay this amount every month. 

  9. Yay, insurance!! 

  10. Yay, debt & poverty! 

  11. Yay, freaky memory! 

  12. I confirmed that I’m still an impoverished disabled woman with no car. Yay, my life! 

  13. Yay, preschool behavior! 

  14. I felt guilty because I had been napping instead of exercising. 

  15. #YesAllWomen. 

  16. One-house 

  17. My furthest distance since before my surgery. Yay, progress! 

  18. Max and Mario. 

  19. I’m easily bossed around by animals. 

  20. Yay, renewed friendships! 

  21. And she’d probably want us to call animal control on BWHT. 

  22. Dad has interacted with BWHT as well. 

  23. Yay, parents who are still overprotective of their adult daughter! 

  24. So it better not kill me. 

  25. Yay, painful life lessons! 

Published by

Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.

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