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Review: “Pillow Talk”

I like Zayn.1 I hate his “Pillow Talk” video & don’t really like the song. He looks bored and the video is just 100% tacky.2 Who thought it was a good idea to put flowers over her genitals and hearts3 on her nipples?456789 Whoever it was should be fired.10 And the random lesbian scenes, what’s that about? There are people who had LSD trips that weren’t as bizarre as this video.11

This was the music video equivalent of a MySpace profile with glitter graphics and auto-play songs. It’s just…a tacky vomitfest.

   
 It’s obvious that he’s trying to prove he’s not just Zayn Malik of One Direction, but I feel like he’s trying too hard. The video looks like it was supposed to be artistic, but it was just kaleidoscopic, over saturated, exclusion/difference layer12 obsession weirdness. 

Gigi Hadid is gorgeous, though. 


    
    
    

  

  

  

 

  

red rum, red rum  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  


  1. No judging. 

  2. I’m being nice here. 

  3. These reminded me of some holographic heart stickers my mom used to order from Oriental Trading Company. I would stick them on my Valentines. 

  4. No, really. 

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  9. I. TOLD. YOU. SO. 

  10. A floral pillowcase should cover their bosoms to mark them for this unforgivable sin. 

  11. I am still being kind here. 

  12. Actual Photoshop thing. 

Published by

Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.

3 thoughts on “Review: “Pillow Talk””

  1. O_O Woooooooow. “Trying too hard” is putting it mildly. “Pathetically playing with their new computer graphics program like a child hyped up on a dozen cans of Monster and 30 pounds of Pixie Stix” would still be putting it mildly. Maybe he’s just reeeeeeally proud that he figured out what all the buttons did on the video equivalent of PhotoShop, and had to use them all to show off? Also, I’ve seen soft core porn that looks a LOT like those naked chicks with the “now it’s safe for work” stickers pasted on. At least the black bar covers the naughty bits up more. Maybe they were talking with that “Blurred Lines” guy, and wanted nudity too?

    But seriously, I haven’t even seen the video and now I’m terrified to. That looks like MySpace threw up on it, ate it, and threw it up again. Art isn’t just “doing random weird shit.” Well, unless you’re on deviantArt, and then even the porn at the beginning of your post is “art.”

    Remember back in the days when music videos didn’t suck as bad? I miss the 90s.

    1. I know, music videos used to be soooo good. Even ones that were supposed to be a little abstract (or very abstract) would look better and make more sense than this.

      Anyway, I posted a less judgy version of this entry as a comment & I’ve been told by one of his fans that I apparently do not understand how objectification of women works. They felt this horror show puts a positive, less sexualized/objectified idea of female beauty out there. I’m still trying to pick my jaw off the floor from their cluelessness.

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