Myopia Dystopia 

When I went to study for the driver permit exam over a week ago, I realized I was missing something very important: a pair of glasses. Thanks to myopia in both eyes with an astigmatism in one of them, I had a vision restriction the last time I tested for my my permit. I figured that I probably needed to get glasses if I wanted to get a new permit/license or ever use it to drive. I did the typical poor girl with bad eyes thing & ordered discount glasses from Zenni. Their glasses are typically pretty awesome. 

This time? Not so much. 

I’m not sure what happened. Maybe my prescription has changed? Maybe I typed in the wrong value for something? Maybe they screwed up when manufacturing them? Whatever happened led to a pair of glasses that have a totally screwy left lens. That lens causes my vision to double. Oddly, the right one was perfect. 

When I talked to my family about the issue, I told them that it was almost time for an optometrist appointment & I would get a new scrip. A couple of hours later, I got an emai from the optometrist telling me that they’d scheduled an appointment for me on the 27th at 1pm. I had to reschedule it (to this coming Monday) since I already have physical therapy scheduled for that exact date & time. If I were a Canadian singer-songwriter with a poor understanding of irony, I could probably work it all into a song; and four versions of me (sort of Orphan Black-ish)1 could awkwardly act out the music video in a car. Alas, I’m just a weird American.23 Woe is me. 

  1. Oddly enough, Tatiana Maslany, of Orphan Black fame, is Canadian. Maybe acting like four different people at a time is a Canadian thing, like socialized medicine, being overly kind & apologetic, loving curling, or gravy on fries—what’s that about? 

  2. Yay, let’s have more pollution from fossil fuels because America. 

  3. That was a joke. Obviously an asthmatic with a fear of humanity being destroyed by tragedies of a scientific nature who finds the very idea of fossil fuels to be gross and has a penchant for run-on sentences is not pro-pollution or fossil fuels. Ew. 

Published by

Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge