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Have You Heard The Good News?


Pap smears don’t have to hurt.

Oh my goodness. I didn’t believe my friends when they would say that their Pap smears didn’t hurt. I thought they were lying.1 I honestly thought they were lying or trying to put on a brave face, but, no, it’s possible to have a pain free Pap.

The doctor was really good about the whole thing. He told me before the speculum went in. He and his attending2 also told me before they started on the feeling up3 of the pelvic and boob areas. I think that had more to do with the disclosure of the childhood experiences.

He said my nausea and other monthly issues were due to the PCOS being untreated for so long. So it’s not going untreated. It is being treated with the great and wonderful Depo Provera shot, which having it was the most painful part of today’s visit. My mom has been a bit grumpy that I went on Depo because of the blood clot scare of whenever it was.4 She actually said, “Well, hopefully, it won’t kill you.” She’s such a positive, life-affirming person.

Anyway, I guess that’s all.


  1. Kind of like how I thought people lied when they told me that I was pretty. 

  2. nearly wrote his Autoblow II–thanks, Seth Meyers 

  3. not literally 

  4. 2008, I think? 


About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.