Daily Archives: October 6, 2014

On Thursday night, I received a message on OkCupid from a guy that I’ll call S. He was interested in pursuing a friends with benefits relationship, which I told him (on there) that I would need to be friends with him first. He said okay and we started talking on Kik. There were dick pics that were sent to me and I became a bit annoyed by them and by him. This is the conversation, without pictures, without his name, with the typos/grammatical/spelling errors intact, and with generalized locations, that we had.1 The only real difference is that I’ve included snarky commentary and admitted to mistakes I made in the conversation. Because of the nature of the discussion, if you don’t feel like you can handle certain overly sexual content, then don’t go further. S: Hi Me: Hi. S: My name is S Me: Hey, S. I’m Janet. S: Very nice to meet you!!! 🙂 Me: Nice to meet you, too. S: So tell me a little about u. S: Do u have a pic [S sent a picture of his face with this remark.] Me: [with a picture of my face] I write. I’m on disability for some health stuff. S: I’m sorry I hope ur ok S: Do u want to share S: Any more pics? [S sent another picture of his face with this comment. I responded with a picture of me from when I was out on a walk.] S: Your very pretty. Me: Thank you. You’re attractive, too. S: You think so? Me: Yeah. You’ve got a great smile. S: Thsnk u so much!! [S sent another picture of his face.] S: You have any more pics Me: You’re very welcome. [Another picture of my face.] S: Nice. Do u live in Huntsville Me: Yeah. You? S: Yep I live off of —–. You? Me: Off —–. S: —–. Is that south parkway S: Down by —– Me: Yeah. S: I do cable so that is my area Me: Cool S: Yep it’s a fun job S: So tell me about u Me: It’s always good to have a job you enjoy. Me: There’s not much to know. S: We’ll me. I’m looking for a fwb for long term. I’m only looking for only 1 woman to do this Me: Okay. How long term? S: As long as you want to see me. Totally up to you 🙂 Would I be interested S: Would u be interested? S: I’m picking u 🙂 Me: I might be. I may need to think about it. S: Have u ever had a fwb Me: No. I did have NSA sex with a guy once, but it was just the once. S: Ahh see this would be ongoing. Plus we would be friends. Do u want to see a cock pic to see what ur getting? S: About 5 times a week2 if u want S: I have a high sex drive [Unsolicited dick pic.] Me: It sounds like you do. I’ve only had the one sexual experience so that’s a lot of sex. Also I have chronic pain and fatigue issues, so I don’t know if I could handle that much sex. S: We’ll some days we can just do oral on each other because of ur health S: Do u like the pic? Me: Yeah. It’s a nice pic.3 S: Is it too big4 or a good size for u Me: It’s a good size.5 S: So what sexual things us like and don’t like [Another dick pic.] Me: I like oral, intercourse, anal. I like being fingered.6 S: I love anal too. Do u like cum? Swallow and or facials. Me: I swallow. I might be okay with facials. I’m not really sure.7 S: Janet I pick u!!! I have been looking for a woman that does all of that!!! S: So what do u think Janet. S: Do u like condoms or no Me: I’m still not sure how I feel. I prefer condoms.8 S: I’m ddf as we’ll and I got tested two months ago. I’m very clean. What can I do to help u decide?? S: I promise every time we are together you will have an orgasm when I go down on u S: I’ll eat ur pussy every time. U will cum before I will Me: I’m glad you’re clean, but I’m not on birth control, thus the condom preference. Just give me a couple of days. Is that okay? It’s a major decision. S: I can’t have kids.9 🙂 Besides every time I cum I would like for u to swallow ok S: It is a major decision. I really want u as my fwb Janet S: 🙂 S: Do u like kissing and making out S: Any questions u have for me Me: I’ve never actually made out with anyone.10 Me: I don’t think I have any right now.11 S: Really never. I love to kiss. It’s long and passionate. It’s more then just a fuck. It’s love making. U ok with that Me: Yeah. Never. My first kiss came all of two minutes before a guy went down on me. S: That’s awful. I’ll make sure we will make out S: I love pussy juice!!!!12 😀 I meant what I said. Every time we get together I’ll go down and I’ll eat u until u cum. Then I’ll keep going until u come again and agony13 S: And again S: Deal??? Me: If I say yes14 S: Yes if u say yes. I hope u do. And best part no condoms too 😀 S: Any more pics Me: Not right now. S: So no condoms then?15 S: So what music u like Me: I like most music. S: Me too but not rap. Me: I started getting into rap in college. S: What college Me: At that point, I was at A&M S: I went to Alabama. Am tough school S: What is ur major Me: At that […]

Oh, The Dudes You’ll Talk To

I read that lovely little piece on xoJane/Time about the girl who was so awesome because she didn’t have student loans. She talked about her parents and grandparents helping her pay for her education. She talked about going to a local school and living at home. She talked about all of this with the attitude that she is somehow smarter or more resourceful than those of us stuck with crushing debt. My feelings can be summed up in two words: Fuck her. That’s not very eloquent, is it? So let’s travel back to August 2001, when I started at a community college. I had to fill out FAFSA paperwork like other students. That semester (and the next) I qualified for a Pell grant. Those go to students from lower incomes to enable them to go to college. It didn’t cover enough and my parents couldn’t contribute more. I didn’t have a job. I tried multiple times to get one. On campus and off. I was 17 and I had started to college a year before I was supposed to because my mental health had made going back to high school impossible. I’d been out of a psych unit for almost four months when I signed my first signatory note. I understood what that meant: I’d need to pay it off one day. In 2001, I thought my health would improve or I’d learn to cope. In 2001, before 9/11, the economy was good. I expected to be able to pay it off. In 2001, my dad had a job. Life changed. The next year was the first time I qualified for a SEOG in addition to a Pell and a subsidized loan. Each year, I got in more debt. Each year, my personal finances were getting worse. I was living at home, but I needed all the help to get the education I deserved. My dad ended up losing his job around the time that I was planning to go to a college around two hours from home. (An out of state public university.) I was going to live in an apartment on campus, which was pretty much the only campus housing they had. I had picked out my room for the apartment and started talking to my prospective roommates. But I couldn’t afford it. I didn’t go to that school. I went to A&M, an in-state public university. I qualified for a diversity scholarship. It was supposed to cover everything, including room, board, books, etc. It didn’t. And funnily, A&M would send my grants back, so I could only pay for things with the help of loans. When I had the issue with the professors and had to take time out, I had to accrue more debt because A&M rebated my loans (including the one for the previous semester). This put a lock on my transcript. I had five years of debt and couldn’t even go to another school until I came up with thousands of dollars to pay this debt back. I needed the loans, but they made my life more difficult. They still do. I know this girl would say that that I didn’t have to get a loan or that I wouldn’t have had the rebating issue if I had managed my money better. When you’re trying to figure out how to pay fees for parking (when you don’t drive) or a nonexistent athletic complex, or you need a book that’s not at the campus bookstore so your stipend doesn’t cover it, or you’re trying to cover gas to get to school or buy food, you do what you have to do.1 My loan money had gone toward buying our groceries, along with the EBT benefits my mom qualified for at that point and my disability money. That loan money had covered hundreds of hours for classes and for food so we didn’t starve. Loans were necessary. Seeing this girl act like they’re not needed is just annoying. It stinks of a privilege level that I’ve never known personally. I applaud her ability to pay for her education, but she’s just being shortsighted in her apathy toward those who couldn’t do that. So, like I said earlier, fuck her. I considered things like selling essays, which would have been grounds for me to lose my scholarship. I also considered sex work. I was desperate. ↩

I HAVE Student Loans and I Feel Bad For Others ...

The next time you hear someone ranting about Obamaphone users, point this out to them. When this picture was taken we’d had no power for around an hour. I’d also had little to no cell coverage for the same time. Keep in mind that after the April 27 tornadoes in 2011, I STILL had cell coverage, even though much of North Alabama had NO power at all & they had to have the main lines out of Browns Ferry repaired. The power outage today was JUST South Huntsville. My dad’s phone (a non “Obamaphone”) had coverage, but mine didn’t. This phone’s purpose (according to the FCC) is for a person of limited means to be able to have a Lifeline (aka the service’s actual name) when they need it. But I didn’t. Basically, if an emergency had happened and I couldn’t get to someone else’s phone, I would have been screwed. And, in case I haven’t mentioned it enough, these are not the luxurious phones that some people on the right would like to say they are. You can call and text (old-school style) with them, sometimes. The coverage for the basic services is pretty shoddy. And you can’t text to some numbers or receive texts from some numbers. You cannot take, send, or receive pictures. You cannot surf the internet. And you actually do have to pay for some of the costs associated with the phone, so it isn’t completely free. via Instagram

In Case of Emergency