Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re Horny


As someone who hasn’t ever received much attention from guys, the flock of guys that seem to have appeared over the past couple of months is a bit overwhelming by itself. What’s even more overwhelming is that some of them seem to have me on speed-dial or speed-IM when they’re horny. And since I sort of encouraged1 that behavior at the beginning of the whole charade, I’m living with the inundation that has resulted from it.

I get that the idea of being one of the first people to “boldly go where no man has gone before” was exciting for them. I understand that it made me sort of like a unicorn for some guys. But when that’s the only reason that the guys are contacting me, it starts feeling like I’m less of a person and more of a receptacle for their dicks. And I don’t particularly enjoy that feeling, so while I like the idea that they actually find me attractive in some way, shape, or form, I don’t like being treated like I’m just alive for one purpose.

Basically, I want to be treated like a human being. I deserve to be treated as such. I’m not saying that I won’t have sex or that I want the sexual dialogue to go away completely. I just want to be treated like a person, too. I want to talk about my day with someone and hear about theirs. I want to know what makes them tick and what makes them happy, and I want them to want to know those things about me, too.

I need to set boundaries with them. I need to set them with myself. This is my first step toward that.

To the “open marriage” guys, the single dads, and most of the other guys who I have talked to: start treating me like an actual person or go away.2 I deserve better and I’m going to demand better.


  1. This means that I would quickly allow conversations to turn sexual, but I would shut down most guys who attempted to only talk about sex with me. 

  2. Also, to the “open marriage” guys, I really would need a permission slip from your wife. I need to know that you aren’t just lying to me about your relationship. 


About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.