I had group therapy today. No, it isn’t Thursday yet, it’s still Tuesday. I have group with Debbie on the fourth Tuesday every month and with Mary every Thursday. My old group with Debbie was dissolved…sort of. Two of the people in my new group with her were in the old group, including the guy who always makes me think of a Cyberman because he’s always wearing his Blue Tooth thing. (He actually reminds me of the ones from Pete’s World, where everyone had a Blue Tooth in.) The other transplant from that group is this sort of ornery old woman. She’s kind of nice, but she’s also always got a bit of a stick up her butt. Lucky for me, the resident narcissist of the group wasn’t moved into this group. Not so lucky for me, there’s a potential new one. Well, the potential new one doesn’t actually seem like a narcissist, but did seem like she might be histrionic. At the very least she’s got a very shrill voice that I kept having to tune out on because she would just start talking out-of-turn, without a care that someone else was talking. I think she may have done this before because the other group members just ignored her.
Anyway, when Cyberman and ornery were talking to her in the waiting room before group, she was talking about how she was on her fifth marriage and she was abused in all of them. (I wouldn’t mention this if it were from the actual group session, but she was loudly discussing this in a public part of the building.) She said that because her husband saw her smoking and talking to Cyberman before going inside this afternoon that she thought he would not only hit her until her brain matter was all over the cars and pavement, but he would attack Cyberman as well. I know that abusive situations can end that way or involve that level of violence, but what they all did next was quite alarming to me. Ornery decided that the three of them should go outside and basically flaunt that she was talking to Cyberman in front of this abusive spouse–the spouse was apparently still outside. Part of me wondered if this was going to turn into some kind of really bad situation where the spouse did actually attack them or if it could possibly end in a more civil way. Either way, I was nervous and I really didn’t like the idea of taunting someone who is abusive.
Luckily, right as the spouse had approached them, Debbie came to get us. She went out and told them it was time; no bloodshed occurred. (Yay.) Still, the whole thing made me feel very antsy. It still makes me feel on the antsy side to be honest. I know that if the woman is being abused that she isn’t bringing it on herself, that it is the fault of the person abusing her, but I also know that it is never a good idea to try to make an abuser angry. It’s very dangerous. If she’s been in 20-30 years worth of abusive relationships, then I don’t know why she would willingly go along with the provocation, except that she also described feeling ready for it to all be over, which could mean that she realizes just how badly it could end.
This whole situation is just completely fucked up and I wish I could do something, but it’s all just very terrifying to think about.
Now I’ll probably nervous every time I have group with the three of them because I’ll be thinking that this could be the day that the guy snaps on her.