We All Have Pain


In what was perhaps the fastest doctor appointment in the whole of human history, I was told by my rheumatologist that the pain and tendinitis in the various joints of my body is just something I should grow to expect. I sort of figured that, but I didn’t expect him to say it like he did. He said that with “loose joints” that I should just grow to expect this to happen and that, unless I could take the prednisone tablets or other anti-inflammatory medicine regularly, this would be what my life would feel like. Awesome.

He did say something that I wish that a doctor could have told Ms. Atkins, my PE teacher in 7th and 8th grades. He said that it really didn’t matter if I lost weight or not because my joints were always going to be fucked up because they were born faulty. If only he could have told her that because any injury or sickness that happened in my life was always blamed on my weight. I had so many sprains and strains and broken bones in middle school that she decided to tell me that my fatness was the root cause. Even though I had already had at least one person, oddly enough it was another PE teacher, a nicer one, from the school system say that my joints were hyper-extended and that I needed to try to “fix that” so that injuries didn’t happen. (And I would try as much as I could when I was younger.) Maybe if Ms. Atkins had known that at least part of what caused my injuries was beyond my control and that I wasn’t just flaking out on the physical therapy or causing myself to be injured so much so that I could skip her class (and get an F one semester) for those two years.

Anyway, he said that  should take more muscle relaxers before I go to sleep. Since I’ve almost maxed out on the dose I can take every night, I am not very optimistic about how well that will work. I guess this is just something that I’m going to have to get used to, but I hate the idea of having to spend the rest of my days hurting in one way or another. I hate that this is something that I am expected to just accept and endure. I know that this is the plight of a lot of people with joint hypermobility, but I hate that this is something that we’re basically expected to just deal with. No person should have to hurt or have joints that aren’t stable or have random health issues that don’t seem connected because they’re not necessarily in the “right places” but are connected because you happen to have some little flaw in the way protein throughout your whole body happens to be made. It’s über-fucked up.


About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.