Oh! Fuck Wank Bugger Shitting Arse Head and Hole! 2


For a while now I’ve had a few issues with my tendons. Other than the one in my hand that I’ve lamented about so often that I’ve probably pissed off every person in a five mile radius, I’ve had issues with ones in my ankles (specifically the ones that go around the outside of my ankle; especially on the right ankle) and one in my left shoulder. I’ve iced them. I’ve used heat therapy. I’ve tried to rest them. Nothing seems to work.

I finally called the doctor. Sometime between figuring out that this was just going to keep getting worse and realizing that there is a huge ass bruise on my right ankle that won’t go away, I decided I needed to get it checked out. Of course, with my typical tendency to not want to use the phone for anything or see a doctor for anything, I waited and waited and things got worse and worse. So, like I said, I finally called the doctor.

My mom suggested that I call the rheumatologist about it, since she thinks it has to do with that particular issue. I had thought that maybe I should call the orthopedist or get the family doctor to tell me what to do, but I decided to go with her suggestion. When Derek, my rheumatologist’s nurse, called back a few minutes ago, he said that it had been too long since I had been in and that they definitely needed to check it (and me) out. So I have an appointment on Thursday morning. (Dad was not amused with the idea of a morning appointment, but he’ll deal.)

In the meantime, I get to be very, very careful and try not to hurt any other joints in my body. Since I’m not completely sure how I’m hurting them to begin with, I guess that being careful will be a very difficult job.

Oh, I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that Community Development said that they would supply the materials for the work needed on the outside of the house. Well, last week, one of the members of the Priesthood from our Ward came by the house. He was told by the Bishop to see what needed to be done about the roof and stuff. For some odd reason, that meant that he went through some of the rooms inside the house. I really didn’t understand why he had to go into my bedroom to figure out that the shingles on the roof need to be replaced, except that maybe he thought there was a leak or something. (There isn’t a leak, the roof is just too damaged to be insurable.) I wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about him going into my room. It’s not like I have anything bad in there. Well, except for some of the books and movies and television shows that are less than wholesome. (I know that from the door of my bedroom, you can easily see all three books from the Fifty Shades trilogy, which owning is probably enough to get me in trouble for apostasy related to sexual immorality.)

Anyway, after the house was thoroughly “checked”, no one from the Church called. My mother called the Bishop on Sunday evening…twice. No response. She called again last night, and managed to catch the Bishop while he was available to talk. He said that he couldn’t tell her the decision about supplying workers over the phone, but that he could tell her if we came to Church this coming Sunday. I guess he thinks that if he forces us to come to enough meetings that eventually God Heavenly Father will inspire us not to call and ask for any sort of assistance from the Church. Either that or he thinks that coming to Church will heal all our problems, which I know is something that some people within the Church believe. I was told once by a friend that I didn’t need medicine or therapy for my physical and mental health problems. All I needed was a blessing and to believe God Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit would take care of me and health my body and my mind. Any respect I had for said friend disappeared shortly thereafter. (Of course, that person’s extreme conservative political beliefs, homophobia, and anti-science bent may have influenced that somewhat.) Anyway, my mom said that she would try to come, if she felt like it. My dad, who isn’t a member, said he wasn’t going. I told mom that I might not be able to go because that would still be within the 2 days after the first iron infusion, which means my blood pressure could be sky high and I could probably have severe headaches and other icky feelings.

She also asked him if he had any suggestions for who to call about borrowing a pickup truck for this afternoon. (Someone is giving us a fridge, so she needs a way to get it here.) He didn’t have any idea and she said that she would use the Ward directory except that she didn’t have an online account for LDS.org to sign-in to it. He told her that she didn’t need an account, which is bullshit. You do need an account and, as far as I know, you need to know your membership record number. I don’t know mine. I’ve tried to get that information for five years and have never gotten it. Anyway, she tried to access it the way that he said to, and it didn’t work. I guess that if she called back and told him that he would probably extort another Sunday’s worth of attendance. Hell, when my mom goes for this one Sunday, he’ll try to convince her to stay the whole time. He does that each time. I don’t think he gets that for some people, going to church is just too hard on them.

Oh, my mom got a call from the supervisor of her home health nurse. The supervisor apologized for Denise’s religious comments and for her trying to tell my mom that she shouldn’t take certain medicines. Apparently, someone told them what she had been doing. I don’t know who, though. I didn’t, obviously. My mom and dad said that they didn’t either, so I’m not exactly sure who did. I have a feeling that it has to do with my blogging and/or tweeting about it. I don’t know if I should be thankful or nervous about it either. I mean, it’s good that they know, but it’s also a little odd that they know and that we don’t know how they found out.


About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.


2 thoughts on “Oh! Fuck Wank Bugger Shitting Arse Head and Hole!

  • Q

    I would think he was prob checking to see if the house was falling back into the pattern that led to it being condemned before agreeing to pay for a new roof. Particularly if you aren’t attending or contributing to this church.

    • Janet
      Post author

      Hi, Ms. Scott-Quaigg, aka person I don’t know who has chosen to jump to conclusions without paying much attention to what I’ve actually said, he wasn’t going to be paying for it. The city was paying for the materials. The Bishop was going to tell us whether or not he would help us find labor to do this. There has been 1 member who has been helping us finish up on certain projects around the house for the last year. If he was really concerned about what you’ve suggested, he could have just asked him. Hell, if he was really concerned about what the member who checked the house said he was asking about, then he could have just asked that same person who has been helping out.

      We aren’t attending the Church for a variety of reasons, including:

      1. My mom and I are members, but we both have panic attacks when we go. Agoraphobia + church = not a good mix.
      2. We also have flared up issues with our physical health when we go.
      3. Any time I used to go and try to interact, I would have certain members basically tell me to shut up if I suggested that I believed in things like equal rights for women and the LGBTQ community or evolution or any of that kind of stuff. Hell, I was told that being a Democrat “wasn’t a good idea” by people who said they were my friends.
      4. I also had a member of the Church say that any member who disagrees in any way with what the Church teaches is a gangrenous limb & needs to be cut off.
      5. A different member went to a Halloween dance in blackface and didn’t realize that this was inappropriate.
      6. And then there was the whole “religion can heal” your problems crap.
      7. Oh, and when I was going weekly, paying my full tithing amount, etc., we couldn’t get help, so yeah, your last point is kind of invalid.

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