Vive la Liberté

Amy has become my shadow lately. She’s gone from just sleeping half the night with me and spending a small amount of time when she’s away with me to spending all night and most of the day with me. If I get on the computer, she gets upset, even though I’m just a couple of feet away from her and she can see me most of the time.

Maybe the oddest thing about her behavior lately is that she has started going into the bathroom with me almost every time I go in there. About the only time that she won’t is when I’m in the shower. She gets to the bathroom door before I do and looks up at it then me until I open it for her. Once we’re in there, she tries to “liberate” my mom’s Poise pads and any toilet paper rolls that she can get her little mouth on. I’ll get one away from her and she’ll just go find another. We had to get a trash can with a lid on it to end her liberation of the trash. Of course, she’s a smart little booger and has tried to use the step on the trash can that causes the lid to pop up. We thought that lid/step thing might stop her, but last week she started pawing at the step. I tried to distract her from it so that she wouldn’t start doing that habitually. She’s such a smart little girl that I don’t know where I should be proud or frightened by her actions.

She does have another weird habit, but it’s a longtime one for her. She licks my teeth. Obsessively. If my mouth is closed, she uses her little paws to pry it open or to scratch my cheeks, lips, and chin until I open my mouth to stop the scratching. Once it is open, she licks any surface that she can get to. She does it all the time, but is more insistent after either she has eaten something or I have. If I put my hand over my mouth, she harrumphs, whimpers, whines, or even barks in my ear until I move the hand so that I can get a breath in or she gives up. Oh, and she does it when I sing or just try to talk. She doesn’t do it at all with my mom and only tries with my dad if he’s “in my spot.” I wish I could figure out a way to stop her, so I could liberate my mouth from her licking.

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Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.