You Have to Be Fucking Kidding Me


Early last week, or maybe late week before last, my dad got a card from eMachines telling him that as part of a class action lawsuit, he could get a computer or computer accessories from them valued at up to $365 or he could get $62.50 in cash. He chose the computer option, and it arrived late last Friday. (It wasn’t supposed to show up until sometime in September, so we were a bit shocked.) Anyway, he was setting it up and he decided to give me the cords from his old computer so that I could use them on my desktop. This sounded really good to me, as I didn’t really like using his computer and my laptop is still out of commission. So, while he was getting accustomed to a Windows 8 machine after having a Windows XP one for so long, I was cleaning up my old desktop and updating programs that were on it. (I mentioned on Twitter that it was still running things like Java 6 Update 3, which puts the last updates of that particular program at 2007.)

I finally got everything working right on Sunday afternoon, which was about the time that the computer decided to randomly reboot itself and gave me a 3 & 4 message, which for a Dell XPS 410 is a kiss of death. It’s supposed to mean that the system’s memory needs to be changed. Apparently, from what I’ve read, it generally means that the motherboard is dead or dying and that (because everything from it was made specifically for that particular model and that model was made obsolete within six months after I got it) it is expensive and almost impossible to get properly repaired. So I was left without a computer again.

Can I take a moment to say that if I ever have the money to buy a computer of my own again that it most definitely will not be a Dell? After the motherboard issues with my laptop and the motherboard issues with the desktop, I have very iffy feelings about their products now. I know that my computer was old, and old computers can go kaput, but I also know that if there are so many people complaining about a particular computer have a particular problem from as far back as 2006, then there is obviously something wrong with their product. And when two different computers have just about the same issue, it makes me wonder where they get the components for their computers and if there is any level of quality control going on at all.

Ugh. So now I’m back to working on my dad’s computer. His old one, not the new one. Of course, he offered to let me use the new one, but I really didn’t see the point in that. I have his old one hooked up to my monitor, mouse, and keyboard. It may be slow as Christmas, but it gets the work I need to do done.

Speaking of work, I’m actually working on the book I’ve wanted to write for several years. I work a little each day and try not to stress out on it. I want to write a book that I can one day get published so that I can finally get off disability and food stamps and all of those programs because: 1. I’m sick of living in poverty and 2.) I’m sick of being judged for living in poverty. If I’m going to be judged, at least let it be for the work I’ve done and not the prejudices people have.

Nana was sent home from the nursing home on Tuesday morning. Mom stayed with her Tuesday and Wednesday nights, which meant Dad and I were left to take care of Amy. She became clingy after she realized her mommy wasn’t coming home, so she’s following us everywhere. I feel like Mary and like she’s the little lamb. When Mom came home, Amy nearly knocked her down from excitement. She’s still clingy with all of us, and she now has the habit of having to go into the bathroom whenever any of us uses it–because she’s afraid of being left behind, I guess. I’ve got to figure out a way to restore her confidence. It breaks my heart that she seems to be worried about us leaving her.

Nana is doing better. She’s had a really bad case of vertigo since she came home, and mom and Nana’s home health nurse have been trying to get the doctor to prescribe some Meclizine for Nana, instead of the Phenergan that he’s got her on. But he hasn’t done it yet, so I guess that may be a lost cause. Nana is considering moving in with us if she gets worse, which could change things around here a lot. I have a feeling all of our stress levels might shoot up if she were here, but it is better that she be here than in an assisted living facility–assisted living is my aunt’s solution because she doesn’t think Nana should live with her. Mom said her justification was that Nana can’t get upstairs, where three of the four bedrooms in my aunt’s house are located. I don’t get why she couldn’t let Nana stay in her downstairs bedroom, but maybe she hasn’t thought of that. Or maybe she just doesn’t want to have her mom live with her.

My mom said that when she and her sister talked about how Mom stayed up with Nana when she was up all night with her nausea, vomiting, and vertigo, my aunt asked her, “Why?” How would you answer that? I mean other than scoffing. You stay up at night with a sick loved one because they’re a loved one. Hell, if you were in the same place with a sick enemy, you should at least try to help the enemy because that’s the right thing to do. I guess only evil people realize these things, though.

Dad’s mood was a little better while Mom was at Nana’s, though he still had some whiny moments when she would call. They’re both very immature about one another, and it just annoys me because they put me in the middle of so many of their arguments. And the arguments are the same pointless ones that they’ve been having for a long time. It’s just ridiculous.

The good news is that the doctor thinks that Dad’s memory problem is from his lack of sleep. So if he could get more sleep, then his memory would apparently improve. I don’t know if lack of sleep causes other issues (i.e. his visual/spatial awareness worsening), but I guess it’s possible. Dad doesn’t think he has Alzheimer’s or any other form of dementia, and I hope that he doesn’t, but that hope doesn’t keep me from worrying. Actually, I think it may make the worrying worse.

And finally, this fun week has brought another exciting issue for us to deal with. Our water heater is broken and we probably need a new one. The old one was leaking all over the kitchen and laundry room floors, so we had to cut off the hot water. Now we’re having to heat water for washing dishes and we’re having to take lukewarm-to-downright-cold showers. Mom’s called our Bishop to see if the Church can help us buy a new water heater. I dread his answer because usually when he says that the Church will help out, it will be dependent upon our going to the Sacrament meeting that Sunday. I hate being forced to go to church just so that the church will help out. I also hate the idea that we would have to go to church on the first Sunday of a month because that means we’d be at the Church for the Fast and Testimony meeting. There’s only so many times a person can hear people tell the same story of how they “know this church is true” and how these are hard times because of the current political leadership of the country (meaning Obama) and how the best thing that we can do is to work on our food storage and pay our tithes, even if we struggle to put food on our tables, pay our bills, and get our medicine. (This will then be justified by saying that if we give the money to the Church that we will always be able to get help from the Church.) Yeah, I’d like the help and the water to be a decent temperature, but I don’t like the conditions put on getting the help.

So, yeah, that’s how thing have been recently. Life’s been fun lately, hasn’t it?


About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.