The Case of the Missing Chocolate

Every week that my parents go to the grocery store, they get me some chocolate. For a few weeks, I wasn’t eating as much, so I was developing a bit of a chocolate stockpile. (Not much of one, though.) Then, the day before my period started, I started craving chocolate like it was going out of style. I ate all of the stockpile rather quickly, and spent about 5 days with absolutely no chocolate in the house–a time that was extremely unpleasant for me.

When I told my dad that I needed to wean myself off of chocolate if I was going to go on the apparently carbless Dukan Diet, he said something about not having to buy it this week. I pointed out that I had been without any chocolate for almost a week and that I needed chocolate. He didn’t understand how I could have eaten all that chocolate in such a short period of time. And, of course, I couldn’t explain to my father that chocolate is somehow necessary to my body during my period. He would have gotten squeamish and, since he was driving the car, I thought that might lead to a public safety issue. So I just said that I didn’t know how it happened either.

When the only chocolate that came home from the store was bulk chocolate baking chips, I started bawling. I knew I could eat them, but I imagined myself seeking bits from the kitchen cupboard and I could not help but cry. I think that this means that the cutting of chocolate out of my diet will take a little longer than I was expecting. Obviously if I’m having an emotional breakdown over a chocolate shortage, I have some kind of serious chocolate issues going on. (I actually knew this already, but I pretend like I don’t because, I assume, no one wants to admit that they get emotional and agitated when they run out of a type of junk food. I know I don’t.)

Yeah, so…he still doesn’t know what happened to that chocolate, but we do have chocolate in the house now. He and I made a quick trip to Walmart and got me some. So maybe I will make it through the last few days of my period without having some major breakdown again.

About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.