Please, Call First 1


Yesterday, Tom, the friend who took the gun, brought it back. He had shown it to his friend who told him that it was not a real gun. Leave it to Dadada to still play some kind of practical joke on us after almost 20 years of being dead. So, we now have a non-functional Derringer in the house. Since I know it isn’t functional (and never was), I’m not as nervous about it. I’m a bit annoyed that I had all that anxiety about it, though.

A while after he dropped by, the Elders (missionaries) came by to do a blessing on our house. Now, we did not ask for this blessing (I’m not big on having blessings done for people or objects) or know that they were coming by, so my dad basically asked them to leave. He also told them that it would be wise, in the future, to call first.

It seems that people from church have this habit of dropping by unannounced, which might be okay for them, but is a bit weird for us. Even when they give us some notice that they’re coming, my mom and I get anxiety attacks when people come in the house. It’s kind of like having someone get in your personal space. I think it may have to do with the agoraphobia, but I’m not sure. It also seems rude to just decide that you can come to someone else’s home anytime you please, without making sure that they want to have you over. It’s very presumptuous.

It also seems like it’s always (with people from church, at least) at the worst time. For example:

  • Last night, we were in our pajamas.
  • A few months ago, it was while I was in the middle of reading literary porn (Fifty Shades) and was trying desperately hard to hide the books.
  • A few years ago, I had just woken up, hadn’t brushed my hair, and felt like shit, plus the house was a mess, so I had to go outside in my PJs (sans shoes) in the winter.

I guess I’m just particular when it comes to people showing up.

As for the blessing, I don’t really want our home blessed. I know that it is supposed to protect us from misfortune or something like that, but it doesn’t work. My mom got a blessing on her health at one point and her health still declined. She actually wanted one, so even if the positive results were a placebo effect, I can honestly say that these blessings are pretty much hokum.  I try not to bring up how much I dislike blessings when I’m around other church members, but I have had to defend my ideas on the subject with some before. I had a friend who told me once that if I had a blessing done that I would no longer be depressed or have any health problems. When I told him that having a blessing wouldn’t cure my psychiatric or physical problems, he launched into some long lecture about how I was wrong and he was right. It was not one of the finer moments of our friendship.

Basically, I don’t want one done in my house. And if I did, then I would like for them to do what they are supposed to do, and wait for me to invite them over to do the blessing. Since I know that they believe that I am somehow incapable of making spiritual decisions for my house because I lack a penis, then they should at least ask my father. Of course, they may not trust his feelings on the subject because he’s a non-member. Still, it isn’t for them to decide that they are just supposed to drop by and do a blessing without asking.

I know that they have helped (in the past, mainly) with the house, but that doesn’t entitle them to just show up. They don’t live here. And I don’t like the idea of having to confront them and say that just coming whenever they want is intrusive and doing things without asking is just wrong. Somehow whenever I  (or my mom) try to stand up to them, we end up causing them to drop us from the list of people who need help. (They end up saying that we said “Don’t ever come back” when we’ll say “Not right this minute”.)

It’s just frustrating.


About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.


One thought on “Please, Call First

  • Jenn

    I’ll probably eventually wind up smited for this, but my personal opinion of blessings on people and homes is that while the gesture and thoughts behind them are nice and appreciated, they don’t do squat. Heh. It’s all about God and his will and plan and all that jazz, if you believe in God (I do, for what it’s worth).

    I’m definitely with you on not wanting people dropping by unexpectedly. Even though the house is usually in good order and I at least am dressed (Dan prefers lounge pants most of the time, and Ryan never wears pants when he’s at home), it just sucks to suddenly have unexpected company, lol. Call or even text ahead, please!

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