Daily Archives: December 12, 2011

Let me be frank. Your husband is hiding his kielbasa in a Hickory Farms gift basket that doesn’t belong to you. Sue Sylvester, Glee (1×06 – Vitamin D)

Your lack of imagination astounds me! This is only the beginning! If you can master this, you can sneak anything out of a store between your knees: shoes, prom dresses. I once got a cake out of a kid’s birthday party with the candles still lit! April Rhodes, Glee (1×05 – The Rhodes Not Taken)

A few years ago I started an online flirtation with a high school flame, Andy. Things got weird and I called it off and two months later…Versace was dead…dead. Emma Pillsbury, Glee (1×05 – The Rhodes Not Taken)

Those skirts are crunchy toast! Santana Lopez bent over in hers the other day, and I swear I could see her ovaries. Noah Puckerman, Glee (1×02 – Showmance)

U.S. News Organizations observe the anniversary of September 11 with investigations about the nation’s continuing vulnerability to terrorism. First, the New York Daily News reports that two of its reporters carried box cutters, razor knives, and pepper spray on fourteen commercial flights without getting caught. Then ABC News reports that it smuggled fifteen pounds of uranium into New York City. Then Fox News reports that it flew Osama bin Laden to Washington, D.C., and videotaped him touring the White House. Dave Barry