My mom decided to call her sister on Saturday to find out why exactly her sister’s family won’t be at Thanksgiving. It was, of course, my fault. Apparently, she is upset because she had been told that I called her an evil bitch. I didn’t remember doing this, so I decided to do a search. In the ten years that I have had this site, I have used the phrase “evil bitch” 3 times.
- The most recent was in 2010. I referred to a psychiatrist as an evil bitch after she told me I smelled bad, even though I had showered, put on nice smelling clothes, etc. Valid use of the phrase, no?
- The next most recent was in 2005. It was a reference to the furthest back entry where I had called a psychiatric nurse at the Mental Health Center the “Evil Bitch Monger from Hell”.
Clearly, since my aunt is not a psychiatrist or a psychiatric nurse, I didn’t call her an evil bitch.
I decided to try just evil next.
- Last month, I jokingly called myself evil.
- In July, I asked who Sean Winchester was (because of search statistic) and I determined (as a joke) that he must have been Sam Winchester’s identical twin that was taken by 3 fairies to the forest so that he wouldn’t be turned evil.
- On July 4th, I was ranting about locals who categorize undocumented immigrants as being evil
- The next entry is from 2010 and is a reference to a person who shut down the Avatars fanlisting right after I adopted it out to her and shortly before TFL discovered she was a creeper-type.
- Another called the must-consume-too-much-culture evil
- Also in 2010, I used the word “evil” for the name of a Buffy website and mentioned it on this blog. (Also mentioned in another entry from that year.)
- In 2010, I was accused of being evil because of my political beliefs
- In 2010, I was also accused of being a closet racist by some blogger from the SFGate because I said that UAH was not an anti-intellectual school. (The blogger had said this as part of his [uninformed] entries about Amy Bishop, the professor that shot her colleagues.)
- In 2009, I made a comment about local residents believing that liberals are evil.
- Evil was also mentioned in entries in 2009 about out of control little kids at Walmart, illegal immigrants being categorized after the accident that killed Tad Mattle and Leigh Anna Jimmerson, more about evil liberals, feeling like I was an evil being.
- In 2008: evil was used to describe fibromyalgia, it was also used to describe sentiments from gingerphobes (twice).
- In 2006: the temptation that is eBay, someone calling Buddhism evil
- In 2005: the phone-phobe in me calling phones evil, my being annoyed by Sandra Day O’Connor stepping down, me calling my dad’s father evil (and again), talking about therapy, ranting about ignorance about other religions (and again, the evil psych nurse, a new skin for the blog
- In 2004: mayoral election
As for various forms of the word “bitch”, I said others described her decision about the separate Thanksgivings as bitchy, I described someone from the other side of the family as saying things that distressed me and led to me making bitchy responses, I mentioned an argument between my mom and me (later in the argument, my mom began talking about how awful I was vs. her sister, which led to sarcasm from me), I called myself bitchy, I called my eighth grade history teacher a bitchy person and said she was a misogynist, I described the call from my aunt’s daughter-in-law as being done to bitch me out, I described my mom’s mood swings as “incessant bitchiness” right before I first mentioned how frustrated I was about the video on the news, talking about nother bitchy psych nurse, a reference to myself, my mom calling me a bitch, saying my dad was bitchy about Farmville and Facebook, my being pissed at a former family friend, me mentioning a philosophy teacher that I felt was bitchy, and talking about the evil psychiatrist. That’s pretty much it when it comes to calling people bitchy or bitches or anything of the sort. So, technically, I didn’t call my aunt a bitch. I also didn’t call her evil.
She also said that I said that she made my life a living hell. I did accuse her of that as part of a meme I was participating in April. I spelled out my reasons for it, too, which I think she should read since apparently she has never read the actual entry. Other than that, my comments about her have been relatively mild. They have all been based on the same things that were discussed in the other post, which makes sense because we, as a family, have not dealt with the cause behind the feelings. Until we do that, the words will continue to be something that probably comes up. That isn’t a threat. It’s just part of what goes on until some kind of resolution happens.
It’s weird how she is upset over the 5 or 6 that had any negative content about her in the past year, but doesn’t realize I’ve also posted 1 where I was genuinely concerned about her after she had eye surgery, quite a few posts after Thanksgiving last year gushing about her cooking the meal, the 3 or so in the last year where I talk about missing her in some way, etc. That’s out of around 100 posts total that I’ve made on fuzzypinkslippers.com in the Family category and the 152 on the site overall the beginning of 2011. Most of the posts in the Family category refer to my mom or my dad or both. There are probably more posts from the last year about going to court over my grass than there are about my aunt. So, I think a littler perspective might be helpful.
Now, if she wants to claim that I’ve been more harsh about her daughter in law, then that might be a legitimate issue, but…I haven’t even called her a bitch or evil. I did accuse her of being a catalyst in tearing apart our family and of having a double standard about medications, but I didn’t even get all that vicious on her. So really, they need to get over it. If what I say is causing them so much anxiety, stress or anger, then they are old enough to know how to click the little x in the corner of the browser. They are also old enough to not have surrogate blog monitors check out the site for them. I think that if they would lay off on the familial pressure (via the monitoring and the accusations they make to my mom and grandmother) then things might get better. I keep posting things related to them because their anxiety heightens my anxiety and my paranoia. I really wouldn’t think that people who are related to me would want to cause me to either get so angry that I have severe headaches or so depressed that I cry for hours on end because I’ve heard yet again how horrible (in terms of actions) yet insignificant (in terms of importance to them) I am. Honestly, the best way to end all of this drama is for them to back off. They want to prove that I’m immature or wild or needing to be controlled by my parents*…that’s fine, but this all seems like a way to bait me, which doesn’t make them come off as being much more mature than me.
*Yes, my aunt actually told my mother that my mom should be able to exert some kind of parental control on me about what I blog about because she is my parent. Yes, my aunt knows that in less than four months, I will be 28. She also knows that I am a lot better behaved at 27 than my mom was during her teens and twenties. So, again…perspective.