Last night, through absolute rage and I’ve-had-it-ism, I started seriously talking about how I was raised and the ideas and the hatred that were passed on to me. I was born into and raised in the white supremacy movement in Virginia. This left me with scars, scars I’ve kept very much hidden until recently.
It left me with something else, too. I guess you would call it inside information. You don’t see inside this movement unless you were born into it, or very carefully and quietly recruited. I know things, have seen things, that very few people, thankfully, will ever deal with on a firsthand basis. I know what happens when ill-intentioned white people get together and decide to deny and re-write history. All of this, deciding to finally, really talk about it, started when a discussion of the Confederate Flag (which somebody decided was ‘heritage not hate’) landed on my dash. I grew up with that flag. I know what it means.
I started another blog a few hours ago. one specifically dedicated to passing on the information I was handed at birth. Yes, it hurts and triggers me to talk about it. I block out a lot of my past, it’s hard to go back and re-examine it. It makes me feel like shit. It makes me feel like I was a part of it. I hate it, but it won’t go away. It might better better, but it won’t go away.
However, I feel that it is my duty to spread this information. Even though it may hurt me to talk about it, I can’t block it out forever, and I cannot for one fraction of a second pretend than I, a white man, have been hurt the most by these people.
So here it is, my childhood and what I have to offer toward a better world. I may one day, because of this transition, try to put it in book form. But for now, here you go. Something that I might be able to do to help.
As I said, I started this blog a few hours ago, and it has hit almost 100 followers in that short time. That gives me hope. It makes me feel like I might not be useless forever. It makes me feel as if maybe all those horrible experiences gave me something to offer.
Thank you, everyone. And, as usual, please talk to me whenever you want.
I’m here, and plan to be.
This is one of the many reasons why I love Austin and you should follow this blog. Show him all of the love!