Dear God, Jesus, the Easter Bunny, Santa, or the Tooth Fairy,

I would really like for more people from my area (the Southeastern United States) to have higher brain functions.  Before you think that I’m being judgmental or naughty or something, I want to clarify why I think they’re lacking these functions.

You see, most of the time, these people don’t understand what they are talking about.  For example, they think that the Occupy Wall Street movement is a group of lazy individuals who are just protesting because they can’t get hired because of their inherent laziness.  They also think that all Hispanics are evil and are out to get all the poor white babies.  They also think that Obama is the Antichrist simply because they don’t like him.  They think all Muslims are terrorists.  They also think that the Bible says one thing when it really means another.  Clearly, they are off the deep end here.

So, I want them to get some level of function going on in their little bitty brains.  I would really like this for Christmas, Easter, or whatever day that you can possibly get it done by.


About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.