Of crossing lines and losing decency


Dear Robsten shippers,

(yes, I want you to read this so I’m using the abominable nickname) I have a suggestion for you. Well, for those of you submitting confessions of your thoughts about the “couple”, those who fantasise about their lives, those who create manips, be it innocent or disgusting.

(This isn’t meant for those who simply think the two are a couple and think it’s cute. Nor those who assume this based on gossip articles, but take it no further than: “Aw, sweet, good for them”.)

Imagine (now, this might be a reach for some) that there’s someone in your life who you’re close to (real life, not online), someone you like to hang out with (close friend, co-worker, boyfriend, husband…). Got it? Now, is there anyone in your life like that? Think of that person.

Now think of what you’re doing with that person that’s only between you two: if it’s a friend, I’m guessing it’s movies or lunches, maybe the occasional concert, hanging out with other friends. If it’s a boyfriend or husband, add the other, behind-closed-doors activities.

If you thought of a friend, it’s all rather innocent, isn’t it? If that friend or you have a significant other in your life, you wouldn’t want anyone to read into your interaction more than there is, right? If you thought of a significant other, there are aspects of your relationship that you’d not discuss outside a tight circle of friends and possibly a therapist or doctor (= someone with a confidentiality clause). Right again?

Here’s the thing: whatever you just thought of, imagine a complete stranger looking at you two, out and about, taking a megaphone and starting to voice those private details out in public. Not quite so nice, is it? What if that person would start embellishing those details with things they created in their minds?

Say someone looks at you with a friend and shouts out in public that there’s more going on between the two of you than just friendship. Because they believe so and don’t care if it’s true or not. And they present theories about how you fuck each other senseless because you held hands briefly when going through a crowd.
Or say someone starts talking in public about your boyfriend/husband/significant other. About what happens in your bedroom (or elsewhere in the privacy of your home). And they present you with pictures to illustrate said activities, with your faces attached to other people’s bodies in various sexual positions.

Still with me? Let’s take it a step further. Imagine the stranger writing erotica or porn about you and the person you are thinking of and posting it around the world for people to see. Imagine other strangers clamouring for those fantasies and taking them as solid truth. Imagine your parents coming across these fantasies, writings that seem like conversations between you and the friend/significant other.

Raise your hand if you personally would be ok with this happening to you: complete strangers taking deep interest in your relationship with someone and discussing it in public, freely accessible places. People you’ve never met and most likely never will fantasising about what positions you like in bed, whether you’ll have offspring with someone close to you, what said offspring should (no, not just could or would) be called. Having all these things going all around your town and further, with no regard to who can read them or how you feel about it. Would you be OK with a random person spilling where you live to others so they can watch you and dissect what you’re doing? Would you be fine with people you’ve never met telling everyone in the world that all those fantasies are true and your private lives are fair game? Would you think it normal if strangers came to you and burst into tears telling you how perfect you are for each other and how they’d die if you didn’t work out?

I don’t know about you, but I would most certainly not be comfortable with that.

You all seem to be forgetting that both Rob and Kristen are human beings just like you. Their celebrity status doesn’t make it fair game to go as far as some of you have gone in delving into their lives. Their public image is not an invitation to intrude on their downtime past the point of common decency. None of you own the rights to their lives. Being interested and invested in their relationship is not a sign of you being good fans, it’s a sign of you being sick individuals who have lost sight of boundaries and crossed all lines of propriety and morals.

Look at your life. Look at your choices. Look at the way you’re treating two people you claim to adore so much. And if, after imagining being in the position you’re putting Rob and Kristen in, you still think your behaviour is acceptable, please get help.

I know you will judge me for not believing in the “epic love”, but I don’t care. I have my opinion, I’m fine with people believing the opposite. What I’m not fine with is people shoving their opinion down my throat. Telling me I’m crazy if I don’t agree with them, talking about assumptions as if they were fact. I see what I see, you see what you do. That’s all there is to it. At the end of the day, the only people who really know what’s going on between them, the only people who should be informed of their activities are Rob and Kristen themselves. Despite what you wish were true, they owe you nothing when it comes to their lives off the clock. And they do not deserve to be treated the way you are treating them. No one does.

About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.