How Much Resistance, Pain, Torture it Endures 1


I haven’t called to get a new appointment to see the doctor because I don’t really know what else he or she (my old doctor has “graduated”) would be able to give me.  I mean, with hives/rash from Penicillin, Ceclor, Septra, and Zithromax; neuropathy from fluoroquinolone toxicity; Biaxin just flat out never working; and now this, I think that the doctor might just throw up their hands and scream as they run out of the room.

Because of my hesitance to go see the doctor again, my mom decided to tell my grandmother that I’m not really all that sick.  When she got off the phone, I asked her what she meant by that.  She claimed she didn’t say it, even though I could plainly hear her.  So, I guess I’m expected to go see the doctor, even with the doubts that anything can or will be done.  I know the infection is worse, since I can actually feel and see that it is worse.  I’ve been coughing a lot lately and if my emotions shift suddenly (i.e. I get scared) or if I just get into a  regular coughing fit, my asthma seems to start playing its whole “I’m going to withhold air from you” card.  That alone should have convinced me to see the doctor, but really I don’t want to go.

So I don’t know if I will be calling the doctor or not.  I guess I probably should, but I just really don’t want to see a doctor.  I’m not really in a mood where I think that doctors can do much of anything for me.  It isn’t really a hopeless feeling as much as it is just something that I have come to expect from them.

I did decide that maybe, before I try calling, I should try doing the sinus rinse thing again.  Unfortunately, the only thing that seemed to happen with it is that it made my ears hurt like hell.  I don’t get how that happened, but it did.  I think that it may have done that at one point, after I had my sinus surgery, but I honestly don’t remember.  All I remember are bad headaches, but the doctors seem to take me more seriously if I at least try the rinse.  I don’t get why they think that salt water up the nose should work for everyone, but I guess that they have their reasons.

I really wish I could go for more than one or two entries without mentioning doctors or being sick or hurting.


About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.


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