David Karp sat in his office pointing his new Canon Rebel at a text message on the screen of his BlackBerry Torch


“Aw man, this shit’s gonna get like 10 thousand notes.” 

Suddenly his door flew open, in stepped Sarah Hyneman, VP. “David! We need to talk!”

David’s eye twitched. He hated Sarah and all she stood for. One time he caught her bringing her own coffee from home and he suspended her for a month.

“No one buys cheap coffee in this office.”

“What?” asked Sarah.

David furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you want Sarah?”

“Remember last month when we stopped letting users put URLs in messages? Well they don’t like that.”

David’s face burned redder than a thousand nebulas. “They.. don’t… like it?” His eye twitched once more. “WELL THEY CAN EAT SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY THINK I DO THIS FOR? FOR THEM?!” 

Sarah quietly began to sob. “I’m sorry Mr. Karp. I’ll leave.”

David shot back at her. “Sarah wait. Before you go..”

“Yes David?”

“Put a limit on how many asks they can send in an hour.”

Sarah could no longer hold back her tears. “David this is madness!” she cried.


“This is tumblr.”

About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.