I Can’t Stay Quiet About This


I’m terrified. I wish you guys could jump into my Facebook news feed and see what I’m talking about. In case you’ve been under a rock, a lunatic poisoned the very iconic and sacred trees in Toomer’s Corner in Auburn, AL. These trees are 130 years old and have been a huge part of Auburn tradition. As you know, I’m an Alabama fan, but I grew up mostly in south Alabama and spent a LOT of time in Auburn and a LOT of time in Toomer’s Corner admiring those beautiful trees. I’m so glad I got to enjoy them because they will die very soon.

What makes this so scary to me is the status updates on facebook. Here are a few.

  1. It’s just a tree. Calm down people. It can be replanted.
  2. U call rollin a tree tradition? That’s the dumbest Shit I’ve heard in 30 years. Takin about redneck Shit who rolls trees 5th graders.
  3. they were dying anyway! The dumbasses throw toilet paper on them if they wake up in the morning, and act like thats good for the trees… gtfoh.
  4. To all the auburn fans that posted the pic of our grass on our walk of champions… Roll Tide. To the rest… sorry about your trees.

Now, ignore the horrible spelling and grammar and focus on the messages these people are trying to convey.

Dear status #1: With the particular herbicide used, .78 parts/million would have done the trick, however, Mr. Updyke used 51 parts/million, therefore NOTHING will be growing in that soil anytime soon and the ground water is most likely going to be contaminated.

Dear status #2: First of all, go back to middle school. Second of all, every school has their traditions and I am and Alabama fan who (like all other Bama fans INCLUDING YOURSELF) parades around in houndstooth which is an ode to Bear Bryant who died almost 30 years ago!!!! This is crazy to everyone else.

Dear status #3: If you think rolling a tree is going to kill it, you are ridiculous.

Dear status #4: Quit making every situation about you. Have a motherfucking heart and shut up about your walk of champions.

I’m scared because our rivalry will most likely come to an end because of this. I’m scared because we are now a selfish society that has no regard for other people, other people’s traditions, the environment, or good morals. I’m mostly scared because this proves that NOTHING is sacred anymore. NOTHING.

I saw some of these same status updates yesterday.

About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.