If only being a stripper was ACTUALLY this twee and adorable.

The other night at a party I told a guy I used to be a stripper. Even though he knew I was off the market he had been trying to pick me up all night. But when I told him that he was like *HIGH HORSE* Oh, I’ve never been turned on by STRIPPERS! That’s just never done it for me! I AM A BETTER MAN THAN THE MEN WHO ARE ATTRACTED TO STRIPPERS!

And I’m like, bitch, please. It’s hot women dancing sexily in their smalls. What the fuck more do you want?

Something respectable, like a high price call-girl?

About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.