As Soon As Possible 1

This afternoon, I called the UAB Health Center to arrange for a new family medicine practitioner. I told the receptionist the basics of my issues…okay, so I just said, “muscle weakness”. She told me she’d get me in “as soon as possible”, which I figured might be 4 weeks. (Becoming established with them again after a few years away can mean a 6 week delay in getting an appointment.) She got me scheduled for an appointment for the 14th of October. That’s not too far away, all things considered.

I might feel better by then, but chances are, my body won’t. I’ve been feeling gradually worse as each day passes. It may be partially due to the seasons changing. A lot of my problems are seasonal, and get worse this time of year. It’s weird to have a kind of seasonal schizoaffective disorder. I’ve heard of seasonal affective disorder, but not seasonal schizoaffective. I guess anything is possible.

I ran out of Effexor this morning. I need to call the Mental Health Center to beg for an appointment with the nurse for med check. That way I can get a prescription for it. Of course, it’ll probably be a few weeks. If my mom were without pills, I would be expected to share with her. With me without them, my mom is not sharing any with me.

She and I had a bit of an argument this evening. I pointed out that she has a tendency to marginalize my problems. I told her that I know more about her back problems and my dad’s current obsession with Dark Orbit than either of them know about anything that is going on with me. I mean, my back hurt for years, but I didn’t tell her until this year because I knew my problems would be seen as less significant. Then, a few months after (about 3 weeks ago) I told her about it, she and I were in Wal-Mart. She wanted to walk all over the store, and go back and forth across it, and my back was just in too much pain. So I complained, and she said, “My back hurts worse than yours.” Now, I get that she might feel that way, and it’s possible that it’s true. The thing is that I don’t know how her back feels and she doesn’t know how mine feels. I’ve tried to explain the pain before, but every time I start to explain how I feel or I start to complain, she has to tell me how she’s suffering worse. It really makes me feel insignificant. So, we had our argument tonight, and I said that I hadn’t wanted to talk to her today because she kept seeming argumentative. She asked me why I wouldn’t stop talking to her, then. I told her because she was the only person I had access to to talk to, and she started to tell me to go to YSA stuff. I pointed out that I tend to get treated like shit when I go there, and that I’m not a big fan of being treated like shit. She, then, suggests I go back to Institute and try to avoid hanging out afterwords to get away from the ignorance. I point out that I encounter a lot of ignorance at the hands of the Institute teacher (the one who suggested that questioning the Church was tantamount to being a gangrenous infection that needed to be cut-off). She then starts suggesting other churches. Maybe I don’t want to be around religious people. A lot of religious people in this area tend to be of the opinion that being conservative is the uber shit and being liberal is basically a condition of idiots who will never know the love of God unless they repent of their evil secular ways.

About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.