I was searching through TFL’s board tonight and I saw where there had been a thread asking about updates on Wendy’s progress with Taboo. (Everyone else calls it TBL, which I have never understood since I always thought if it became initials it would be TTL, but to me, it will always be Taboo.) Anyway, there was a comment about how I just all of a sudden had changed the rules of the site to allow all fanlistings. Though it probably seemed, at the time, like I changed the rule to get fanlistings approved for people who were being turned down at TFL, I had actually changed the rule because I was tired of having to constantly change my rules because of the rules at TFL. At that point, the rules were changing back and forth quite quickly. Things that had not previously been approved or hadn’t been approved in a long time were now being approved by them, and I just got frustrated and I was a bit worried that if I didn’t make some permanent policy change that Taboo would just fall apart. At that time, I still wanted to own it and I still wanted it to be important. I was trying to protect it. I was trying to lessen my having to keep up with every category at TFL. I ended up upsetting people, which led to some hate mail. I even got some rude emails that referenced me when people didn’t realize they were talking to me. They would reference “the owner” of the network and go on to say some hateful things, but they never seemed to realize they were saying them to the owner.
I also would like to point out that, unlike TFL and other sites, there were never more than 6 staffers at a time on Taboo. People have talked about how the network went to crap, but it basically started with too few people and continued that way. I started it as the only staffer. I started it with just plain contact forms and hand coded approved lists. At one point, there were several VERY helpful staffers (Ruby, Julie, and Christina), but they had lives they had to lead and they got busy with them. Jef did work quite hard, but he (and Julie still) were pretty much the only ones working. Jamie helped quite a bit when she was working. Some of those 6 people at a time were given the opportunity to be staffers, but would never do an update or anything.
I tried to take care of the network, as I know that a few of the staffers who had worked with me, had tried to take care of it, as well. It was just a lot of work, and I didn’t have the proper scripts and stuff. I also was going through a really, really bad time personally. From the time I started at A&M until the day I walked away from that school, I was severely depressed and felt just completely cut off from reality. I have actually done so much better since, even though I have had depressive times since that time. I was really not in a good enough place to be in charge of that network, and I realize that now, but I was trying to prove to myself that I could handle anything. I was basically trying to be super Janet, and deny that I was in real pain.
But regardless of what went on in the past, I wish people would quit speculating about my methods and motives for my behaviors with that network. It was my baby, and I loved it but I resented it. I know it could have been better for others, but I tried. I just wish that some of the people who have complained in the time since the network has left my hands would have offered their services when I was running it. It would have been so much nicer if there had been more people helping out.
Oh, I have set up my new reviews site and have decided to make it just an opinion site: Blah Blah Biddy Blah.