Let’s face it, if ever there were a police scanner code for me, it would be 5150. Why? Well, 5150 is Mental case. Yeah, I know, I’ve been somewhat normal for the past few months, but missing half a dose of medication on Thursday taught me something…I will never be truly normal.
Of course, I had already accepted that happiness is not possible for me. (Not a sad thing to accept, just a thing.) But when I realized that I cannot go a day without 1/2 of a dose, I got a little annoyed. Of course, 150 mg is a high amount to miss.
It was just so freaking miserable the past two days…well, Thursday evening and all of Friday to be precise. I was crying almost constantly. Of course, the fearmongering from my father’s explosive temper didn’t help. I was almost convinced by one of his outbursts that I was going to die on Thursday night. He just…oh, that would be a different entry.
I expressed to my mother that I realized my insignificance in the world, which is when she told me that feeling insignificant is a sign of depression. How great is that? If you feel important, you’re manic. If you feel insignificant, you’re depressed. What the hell are you supposed to feel then? Oooh, I feel kind of insignificant and kind of important…that either means I’m having a mixed mood swing or that it is possible to experience two personalities at one time. (If the latter were true, then it would first have to be true that I have DID, which I don’t.)
Anyway, so how did I end up with this whole 5150 knowledge thing? Well, I was on Twitter when the RPG character/twerson (twitterer just doesn’t sound right) Erics_Hands said he (maybe really a she) had 187 DM’s, which was weird to this person. Well, I didn’t know what 187 was, so the twerson told me what 187 stood for. Being the search engine freak that I am, I googled (well, yahooed because Flock seems to enjoy the yahoo) police codes. I looked and I saw 5150. I thought it would be cute if that were my Twitter status number, but it will be a while before I get that many.