The League of Missing Vampires

Now, if you’re like me and you love the whole vampire genre (not one of those people who’d want to be bitten, just enjoy reading about it), then you would probably understand the complete giddiness that I had when my Entertainment Weekly showed up proclaiming the 20 Greatest Vampires. Okay, I agree with inclusion of Edward, Angel, Bill, and Eric.

My issues with the issue? I understand you have to include Dracula, but, for goodness sake, make up your mind on which Dracula is best. There is no need for multiple Draculas. And Lestat as #1? Surely there has to be a vampire who is better than Lestat. Most people I know who are fans of the genre generally skip Anne Rice.

The honorary list included Elvira (uh, I always just thought she was supposed to be some gothic queen), and I think the Counting Count from Sesame Street. (It was either him or Count Chocula.) Of course, the list did not include some great vampire portrayals:

Willow Rosenberg was a vampire for 2 episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (The Wish and, greatest ep ever, Dopplegangland). Where was she? Also, temporary vamp – Xander Harris. Then there was Drusilla and Spike. How can we forget them? Spike was able to add so much depth to the fifth season of Angel. Drusilla pretty much made so many of the moments of season 2 of Buffy.

Some of the Twilight vamps should have been included. I understand that they couldn’t include all of the Cullens or the Volturi or Victoria, James, and Laurent, but couldn’t they pick more than just Edward?

True Blood and Southern Vampire Mystery series vampires such as Pam and the various Kings and Queens and Sheriffs.

Oh, and what about when Paige of Charmed was temporarily a vampire? She was fun with her “why you gotta be like that” line. It was amazing.

There are entire books and series that they forgot. Mitchell from Being Human was nowhere to be found.

I sat down and wrote my list of missing vampires that could have made the list. I could think of at least 21 off the top of my head. 21…and yet, EW couldn’t find their favorite Dracula and thought it would be cute to come up with their crappy choices for Honorary Mention. Clearly, these were people who just picked the most popular vampires and left it at that.

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Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.