Cogito Ergo Sum

I almost wrote this entry a few hours ago, when I was quite annoyed with my mom. I decided to wait, though. I kind of understand why she was annoyed with me, but she didn’t have to get so “huffy” about it. You see, I was supposed to write a response paper today for my Honors class “Tolerance in an Age of Persecution: Europe, 1500-1700”. Actually, I was supposed to write it sometime between last Thursday’s class and tomorrow morning. I had class Friday. I was going to write it Saturday, but I didn’t. I was pretty much told I had to go to church yesterday, which ended in me coming home with plans for the night that had to be canceled because I ended up with a migraine just about thirty minutes after I walked in the house. Well, that left either today or tomorrow. I chose to write it today. This evening to be more precise. I wrote it in response to one sentence from Article 3 of Question 11 in Summa Theologica by Thomas Aquinas. (The sentence justified murdering people in the name of saving the world from heresy.) I hand-wrote my response, which I was going to type up tomorrow morning. I decided after I got done writing that I would hang out on the computer for a little while. Well, when it was time to go take the dogs out, my mom asked me if I had finished typing my paper. I was (stupidly enough) honest with her and told her that I wasn’t planning on doing it until tomorrow morning. Well, she got mad, cussed at me a little, and talked about how unreliable I am. Well, I got annoyed, and when she went inside because Willow didn’t want to walk, I pointed out to my father that I type and read quickly enough that writing a two to three page paper would not be difficult. Still, I had promised my mom (to quiet her down) that I would come in from the walk and type up the paper. I came in and had my three page paper written in about ten minutes, after editing it a little bit. Then, I sent it to my teacher via email, since I’m probably going to miss class tomorrow anyway. My mom was so happy when she heard it was all done. I was still quite annoyed. I’m sick of being treated like an irresponsible child. I’ve proven over the years that I can be trusted. I’ve proven over the years that I’m a good student. So why does she insist on treating me like this?

I was at the doctor’s office this afternoon to talk with the nurse about finishing up a paper for the Disability Support Services at school. We discussed my different physical disabilities, and she offered to have them write more about my mental health ones, but I told her I had already had that letter written. She said the doctor will look over the list and will let me know what accommodations that he thinks I need. Knowing my doctor, he won’t think that I need any. I just hope that he finally believes that I have Fibromyalgia after his office receives my doctor’s notes and tests from the clinic that diagnosed me. Maybe then he’ll understand that this pain that I’ve been talking about having is legitimate.

I was checking my email today and noticed that Krista, Hael’s fiancee, had heard about my migraines and my mom nearly dying. She was worried about me. It’s kind of odd that this person who has only known me for a short time was worried about me, when people who have known me longer don’t seem so concerned. It also seemed strange that someone who has just gone through something so traumatizing as unexpectedly losing her father would be concerned about me. Of course, Krista is sweet. So now two of my friends from YSA have checked on me, and neither of them is from my ward. That’s really making me wonder if my friends from my ward really care or not. Is that wrong to wonder about? Is it wrong to think that when you leave unexpectedly for two months that your friends should kind of look into what’s going on? Especially since these are the same people who helped initiate the whole fasting and praying thing where the entire YSA for the stake divided up 40 days of fasting for members of the group who had become inactive. It seems like when someone who had been going to virtually every event ends up just disappearing from the group functions, church, and from online stuff that people should do something. I’ve never had people not really care where I was before. I mean, even when I would get sick when I was in school as a kid (even a teen) and I would miss anywhere from a day to a month, someone always checked in on me, other than DHR, who still managed to do checks on me despite the letter on file that stated that sometimes I would fall ill and end up out of school for a month at a time. It seems like maybe these people that I thought were friends would check on me, but maybe I’m wrong. Or maybe they didn’t know that I expected that of them. Maybe I set my expectations too high. All I know is that other friends checked on me and it made me feel like I meant something to someone when they did.

So, tomorrow, the first biracial President takes office. Yeah, I called him biracial. I mean, technically, he has the same skin color as African Americans, and he is technically an African American, as his father was African, but Barack Obama is also half white. So, it’s like a half step towards racial equality, though you could say it’s more than that because it’s reported by some that people of more than one race end up having more discrimination than people of a single race. I guess that’s because they’re in an even smaller minority.

Oh, and if you would like to read private entries, please register so that I can give you access.

Published by

Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.

One thought on “Cogito Ergo Sum”

  1. Well, the reason this is such a huge step towards racial equality because regardless of him being “half white” he will always be viewed, and treated like a black man in this country.

Comments are closed.