If you’ve been reading this blog anytime during the last 7 years, you would know that I have been classified as some type of bipolar many times in that time period. Every doctor seems to think I have it. I don’t. I have never felt “bipolar”.

Yes, I have rapid-cycling moods, but only once in my life have I ever truly experienced mania. Once. In 7 years of having some form of this disorder, I have had the mood that is most commonly associated with it a grand total of one time.

I have been depressed or “mixed” the rest of the time. And when I experience the mixed symptoms, I only get about 1 or 2 at a time. I never feel indestructible, and though without medication I would pretty much always be awake, I don’t feel “full of energy”. I have a lot of irritability, but that’s relatively common for Borderlines, as are my excessive planning, spending sprees, and other “reckless behavior”. Sure, I’m easily distracted, but when I was 17, I was also diagnosed as ADD, which could easily explain that. My speech never gets quick and my jumping from subject to subject and having certain other speech problems could easily be explained by being Schizoaffective. My self-esteem doesn’t get inflated. And delusions of grandeur don’t happen with me. I have delusions, but I never feel all that superior. I do have racing thoughts. I will admit to that. The hallucinations and paranoia are also things explained by the Schizoaffective disorder.

So basically, my main things are that I get irritable and I have racing thoughts. These are particularly bad during the summer, as I usually do not have enough energy in the winter to survive let alone have symptoms of mania.

When I am mixed, I also have suicidal thoughts. I think that it’s weird for someone who is considered to have Bipolar to get so suicidal so much of the time.

Any time I bring up that I think I was wrongly diagnosed, my mom is like, “You have that problem and the doctors say it so it must be true.” Well, it’s nice that the doctors think that because they see me for about fifteen minutes every three to six months that they can rule out all the other disorders in the DSM and give me this one disorder that I, a person who has been living with my mind for almost 25 years and knows its inner workings quite well, don’t think that I’ve ever had enough of the symptoms for.

Oh, it’s possible that I am just Schizoaffective, depressive type. That is completely possible, and I would be more willing to accept that.

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Living in a country where you don’t like the leadership is difficult, I’ll admit. However, it is NOT impossible. This is a quick and simple guide for non-Obama supporters to make it through the next few weeks, months, and years.

First, remember, it isn’t forever. Chances are that in four, eight, or twelve years, you will probably have a leader you respect in office. Typically, party swaps happen every eight or twelve years. Usually by the eighth year, someone in the administration has done something to upset enough people that he gets his party out of office. Now, sometimes, this does not really happen on a popular vote level, and we end up seeing things like Supreme Courts and hanging chads. It is worse for the country when things like that happen than it is for someone to win “fair and square”.

Next, you need to stock up. First, get journals because you’re going to want to document every moment of utter hatred or annoyance towards this person. Eventually, you will write less and less and end up laughing more and more. Then, get some pens, preferably gel pens. They write smoother. And finally chocolate and/or ice cream. Perhaps other comfort foods. It’s called the “Election 20″, much like the “Freshman 15″.

Next, prepare yourself for staying up on Saturday nights for SNL. It may interfere with your sense of morality on some skits, but it will be worth it for the skits on Obama and the commentary that will be done on Weekend Update. If you have church the next morning, then I would recommend that you get a VCR or DVR and record the shows. (For the record, supporters will be laughing, too.)

Another thing, you will need is to stay in the country. Threatening to leave does not help the situation. I’ve threatened twice, and it just made me feel kind of foolish when I didn’t get all my stuff ready for my long trip to Canada. Oh, and if you do decide to leave, then pick a country that has political interests similar to yours. I’m guessing that if you hate Obama, you would probably choose something more conservative, so Canada, Australia, and Britain are all out. Not so sure about Ireland and New Zealand, as I don’t have as many contacts there. Foreign language skills might be healthy. I know, learn Russian, go there, learn what strife is. Or, go to Israel, and learn the realities of terrorism.

Let me think. What else?

Oh, yes, there is something that you shall do. Stay calm. Making threatening remarks about the President Elect will get you nowhere, except maybe jail, depending on if the Secret Service catches on. (And they likely will.) You see, vehemently hating people does not get you anywhere.

Remember, when dealing with the other side, that we have feelings, too. We are human. We are not responsible for everything that happens that you do not like. Yes, we voted for “the wrong person” in your eyes, but that does not mean we are at fault for your issues with the candidate. We, for the most part, did not blame you for the badness we associate with Bush. We do not appreciate the blame for the badness that you associate with Clinton and that you will likely associate with Obama.

Another thing, the Senate is not filibuster-proof. Though Democrats came out in high numbers, we did not capture as many seats as it would have taken to ensure that we had the Senate in our grasps completely. So, you still have a little hope there.

Remember to pray. It helps. And don’t just pray for your safety, your party, and the like. Pray for Obama, too, because, unfortunately, not everyone will take the not making threats thing seriously. And, though I have never lived through an assassination, I hear that that can be a seriously bad thing for a country, regardless of how you voted. Also, pray for him because he is your leader. You would be shocked to know that I have prayed for Bush, his safety, and for guidance for him. I tried to have faith with him. And if I can do that for someone who is so different from me, then you can for someone so different for you.

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Get your twitterectory on at twitterectory.com so that people can know how to follow you. It’s a pretty cool site, and you can find a lot of new people to check out on there. I’m getting listed on there as a Student/Social Networker, so it would be great if my friends who have Twitter accounts got listed on there as well.

Today is Election Day, which is one of my favorite “non-holiday days that still gets its own day on the calendar” days. Actually, it’s probably my favorite in that category. I love to vote. I was looking forward to getting to vote by the time I was a little kid. Probably the only time I didn’t know if I wanted to vote was when I was a baby, and possibly when I was about 8 because that was around the time that Guy Hunt was indicted. I had actually voted for him (be in shock at me voting for a Republican when there was someone else running against him) in a mock election because I thought that he was honest and good for the state. Then, he let the state down by being so far from what I expected from him. So, I was a bit disillusioned with politics when I was 8. I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone running to be honest, which is true of almost any politician, but I didn’t realize that then. I was young and more naive than I am now.

Okay, I am totally digressing, which isn’t good. I just wanted to encourage people to get out and vote. I am not going to encourage you to vote for my candidate because that would disregard the other candidates running. I just want people to vote their conscience. Of course, I would prefer that you don’t vote for any candidate/party that encourages hate speech/actions, which I don’t believe is true of the major parties, but you never know with the others unless you’ve researched the candidate you’re voting for. (I would hope that you have done this before casting a ballot.)

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I respected Larrisa’s request that we stop making attacks on one another in that post. I really did. And I am still respecting it. I responded, instead, to someone else’s remark and I did so in a polite manner. This is what I found when I checked the message a few moments ago:

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I think he’s taken this thing one step too far. Though I do honestly believe like I could hit him, I really do not like the tone he took in that message. Mine was the snarkiness with which my grandfather raised me to have against people who were using a bit of an abrasive tone with me. After all, I learned how to argue from an abusive sociopath. I got my temper from him. And I was NEVER scared of him. I knew that, even though he was dangerous, I could figure a way to take him. Something about:

As far as you taking me? Please! You are welcome to try anytime you wish, but it will be a mistake. Honestly, you completely lack the cardiovascular strength for any kind of sustained combat. Do not. EVER. Physically attack me.

It sounds like he’s willing to kill me. I’m talking about a slap. A slap! I could probably get in a few extra punches, but of course I wouldn’t do the whole sustained combat thing. I shouldn’t have to. He would deserve a slap for a racial slur, but I would deserve to be beaten to death for reacting the way I’ve been raised and my mental health dictates?

I honestly thought about reporting this to Facebook, but I don’t think that they would look too kindly upon my comment about how I would have slapped him. I’m going to try to ignore his thing, but it may take some extra careful mixing of meds to get to sleep tonight. I think the paranoia is going to be on high alert.

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I had my driving lesson today. My first, in a series of 10. I will hopefully know how to drive soon. I had a minor panic attack at one point, but I tried to keep it to myself. He was really nice, but I still felt like I was a total failure and was going to get us killed. It does not pay to be fearful of the whole transportation experience.

My back is so achy, and my right leg has just stopped hurting. I can only assume it’s because I was in the car for quite a while, and my body is just screaming bloody murder about it. I hate being all fibromyalgic. It really sucks.

I’m looking into dance lessons. I’ll have to start with tap before I can get back into ballet, if I do them. I have to build up strength before I can go to the dancing style that I love with all my heart. Right now, I can’t do jumps. I mean, I do fake jumps and my knees feel like I’ve torn something in them for days. It is NOT a fun experience.

I know, I’m always looking into doing new or different things. I can’t help it. It’s just the way I am. I’m up then I’m down, I’m think of doing one thing, then I’m into something totally different. If you haven’t noticed that in the past 7 and a half years of me blogging, then you probably haven’t been paying much attention.

My mom has put the TV on IFC, which normally is awesome, but it’s a foreign film right now. I don’t mind foreign films, but when I’m watching this screen more than that screen, it’s kind of hard to keep up with what is going on.

I’m still hoping y’all are interested in the theme contest. I know it’s dorky, but I really would love to have some help with the themes and see what y’all have in store for me. If you want to just code a layout, I’ve been trying to figure out how to do one with these images:

So any help with any of those with coding would be awesome. Or if you want to make one on your own, that would be cool too. I just really don’t feel like doing the whole layout thing all by myself right now.

Be sure to vote tomorrow!

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And now…the argument is over. Why? Well, Larrisa decided to intervene, and tell us to quit arguing or everything we’ve written gets deleted. I figured that would happen, thus the screen captures. I’m used to my stuff getting deleted by conservatives. I needed to have proof that certain things were said.

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I have to go brush my hair because my driving instructor will be here any minute for my first official lesson. Exciting stuff. Not really, but maybe it will lead to independence. If I get to where I’m pretty good at the whole driving thing, then I am taking my friends to Institute and FHE. Maybe then I won’t feel so scared by the whole texting while driving thing, because I’m not going to do that, and I will get to control the music in the car.