Last night, after the dance, Jennifer and Jamie were about to fall asleep and I told them that I don’t fall asleep without medication. They did not believe me. I said I basically stayed up most of last weekend and they didn’t believe me. I got so annoyed. Even if they stayed up with me, they would not believe that I could not possibly fall asleep without the right combination of meds. It’s called insomnia. I’ve had it basically since I was 8 years old, ever since I first remember my problems creeping up. It used to be a lot easier to finally get rest, but now it’s harder.
It’s kind of how I don’t think anyone there believes that my psych issues are as bad as they are, except one person. I know I don’t act all goofy like they expect someone who has Bipolar in their diagnosis to act. I’m not a predominantly manic person. I’m more of a mixed state/depressive one. I don’t usually get manic. It’s weird. I’ve never understood how someone who can count actual manic episodes on one hand could have bipolar in their diagnosis. What I label as manic for other people’s benefits is really just a mixed state.