I’m working on something for Twilight fans right now, but all I’ve got “done” is Twilight Addicts Forum. So, if you want to discuss the books, you can do so there. I don’t mind if you didn’t read all of them, didn’t like all of them, etc. All I ask is that you be mature on there.
I have yet to start reading the books in order. I have read Twilight, but I haven’t read the four books straight through because I can’t seem to get my mind off of other things I have to do. (The problems of having a semi-bipolar brain.) I will read them in order soon, though.
I think I’m starting to slip into depression. I haven’t felt depressed, but I’ve been slightly more delusional lately. I’ve been talking to myself a lot more. Well, not really myself, but my “friends” who aren’t there. It’s much easier to go to sleep when I do that. I guess when I see the psychiatrist again in November, I could tell him about that. He’d probably bump the Risperdal to 3mg at night or threaten to hospitalize me. The thing is that I don’t think that my delusions are dangerous. It’s like a kid with an imaginary friend, except I’m 24 and therefore shouldn’t have imaginary friends anymore. I don’t really talk about that kind of stuff on here anymore. I had been doing well since I had been socializing and since it had been summer time. I guess I can’t fight the fall influencing my mental illness. I actually rather enjoy fall these days. I used to hate it. Fall and spring are always fun. They’re when my brain is in the most interesting shape. I never know what thoughts my brain is going to throw at me. My new motto? Who needs acid when you can be schizoaffective? It’s like a constant trip.
You know, aside from my imaginary friends, I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for on the internet and offline. Those of you who are kind souls and try to cheer me up actually do succeed much of the time. Those of you who try to tear me down don’t really do that. You just make me try harder to prove you wrong. That’s always been what I do, since 8th grade. I’ve known people who thought I would fail, and it’s been one of my life goals to prove to them that I could do whatever they said I couldn’t do. Why? Determination is key in having a good life.
You know, I think I’m an individual, and I think that scares a lot of people. People expect everyone to blend in. They expect us all to be sheep. They think they can paint us into a corner and say that you’re just like everyone else because of this or that, but you’re not. I think because we’re individuals we can be a lot more unpredictable than we give ourselves credit for.