You Make Me Wanna… 1


Guess what? My mom is not going to freak out about the money thing. When I explained to her that I only spent a few dollars on each purchase, she seemed to be a bit proud of me. I guess I’m a good little spender. Yay! I hate when my mom and I aren’t cool with each other. I guess it would be like if you and your non-mother best friend were to have a big fight or something or a disagreement or some kind of issue and it made a rift. It wouldn’t feel right until things were fixed.

I had my appointment yesterday with the headache doctor and it went really well. It was interesting. Since I had lost my paperwork, I had to fill that out again. The interview was interesting. They asked me about a lot of stuff, including, but not limited to, my childhood and what THAT was like. They asked about my relationships with my parents. I told them it was great, beyond great with my mom, and it had always been a bit strained with my dad. Then I had to tell them about the abuse from my grandfather, which she wrote down. It was kind of like a mini-therapy session. Then, I had to fill out a Depression/Anxiety test thing. Guess what? I have both depression AND anxiety! Who would have thunk that? I mean, it wasn’t like I didn’t tell them I had Schizoaffective Disorder, BPD, OCD, and Panic Disorder w/Agoraphobia. You would think that I could have skipped that test after admitting to having two disorders that mess with moods and two disorders that cause severe anxiety. After that, the doctor came in, and told me that before he could even begin to figure out the majority of my headache problem, he would be putting me on Topamax. He said that instead of having 30/30 days with headaches, it should, at least, cut the days I have migraines in half. Then, he proceeded to the physical examination, which triggered a migraine. (Darn him!) Part of the test included walking across the room a variety of ways, which proved that I am both coordinated and not drunk. (I would hope not since I’m trying my hardest to follow the Word of Wisdom!) He left the room for a few minutes to talk on the phone with a doctor who had called that he had been trying to get in touch with for a week. What did I do while he was away? I read my chart! Score! I am “neat” in appearance. My voice is “slow” and “soft”. Oh, and the most interesting thing is that I have flat affect. What does that mean? It means I’m “loony” basically. I don’t show emotions properly. It’s part of being Schizoaffective. Actually, it’s not a sign of Schizoaffective Disorder, it’s a sign of full-on Schizophrenia. Go me! I may have progressed from a rare disorder that has good outcomes to a common disorder that has poor outcomes. Only I could have come so far in so short of a period of time, though I think my psychiatric caregiver in 2000 would have diagnosed me as Schizophrenic back then, but he “didn’t want to label” me.

I just got my DVDs from Columbia House. Yay! And the books from Doubleday have just shipped, though it didn’t say Twilight was among the ones that shipped. It just listed Eclipse, New Moon, Breaking Dawn, The Host, and a cookbook. It’ll be kind of hard to read Eclipse, New Moon, and Breaking Dawn, and understand what they’re talking about, if I don’t have Twilight first. I guess I can wait until it comes to read them.

I have to clean out my computer workspace area because I am getting a new desk and chair. I have been sitting at a desk my mom got to keep from a job she had years ago. It’s huge and clunky, and the drawers it has don’t work properly. My new desk should be here tomorrow. I didn’t buy this particular item. I did pick it out, though. And the chair I have is one of our dining room chairs, and it is soooo uncomfortable. It’s also too far from the screen, so half the time I’m on the computer, I have to stand at the computer, which strains my back and legs a lot. That basically means that when I get off the computer, I am like 10x’s more tired than I would be if I had a comfortable chair seated at the proper distance. Or at least, I hope that’s all it means. I hope it doesn’t mean that I’m just too far gone on this love for the internet thing.

My mom was worried that I was going manic today because I have been on the computer A LOT lately, but I explained to her that I’m trying to recode everything and rework all the designs for my sites while I feel okay. Then I got into how coding had changed since the last time I made an actual layout change of my own, without using the basics of any template, on the site. I started talking about XHTML, CSS, and PHP. I showed her what the basic code of sites in XHTML looks like, as well as a stylesheet. She wasn’t thrown or anything. In fact, she completely understood it. She told me that it wasn’t too dissimilar from when she used to do computer programming in college. She said the kind of coding that led to what is done on websites now was supposed to be obsolete like before most of the people I know were even born.

Ugh. I hate standing at this computer. It really hurts bad, so I think I’m about to go and take a break before I start working on the computer workstation thing. I will be so glad tomorrow when my new stuff comes. I’ll take pictures and show y’all. Keep a fair weather eye to the FlickrRSS.


About Janet Morris

I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. I've got as many college credits as a doctorate candidate, and the GPA of some of them, too. I have a boss by the name of Amy Pond. She's a dachshund. My parents both grew up in Alabama.