I figured out that the swelling was due to the Seasonale that I was taking for medical purposes. I also found out that it was causing me to have severe joint pain. So, I went off of it. I can only take a pill that has no estrogen in it because the estrogen will basically suck the calcium out of my bones. That basically leaves Ortho-Tri-Cyclen. I can’t take it because it causes my depressive moods to get MUCH worse and MUCH more prominent.
I’ve been fighting with the insurance to take a new anti-depressant and anti-psychotic. The Cymbalta and Abilify quit working. My psychiatrist recommended Pristiq (brand new) and Risperdal. He didn’t realize that my insurance company would not pay for the Pristiq because of its newness. We had to go through this whole thing with the Mental Health Center and the insurance company. Eventually they approved the Risperdal, which they were delaying on because they thought it was a duplicate for Abilify. They changed my meds to Risperdal and Effexor. So I started officially on those yesterday. The Effexor gave me this horrible headache, which is better than what it used to do. It used to make me so sick and dizzy.
I’m joining a church next Saturday. I know I was into Wicca last time I was on here, but I did some soul searching and decided it wasn’t right for me. Instead, I’m joining the LDS church. Sometimes I have doubting feelings about my decision, but I think that’s normal. Anytime I make any decision I doubt myself and get anxious. I want to do this. I feel it’s right for me, though my dad disagrees. He thinks I should go back to Gnosticism, but I started learning some things about Gnosticism that I didn’t like. Besides, it’s kind of a dead religion. I have a few more lessons before my baptism. I’m supposed to learn about the Word of Wisdom, which I already know about. It basically says, “No coffee, tea, smoking, illegal drugs, etc.” It’s a pretty smart thing to follow since those things have harmful substances in them, but I’ll miss my caramel fraps. I’ll get over it, though.
Oh, and my mom broke her arm, so I’ve had to take care of her and the family while she’s been recuperating. How did she break it? Well, we were out walking the dogs last Saturday afternoon, and she tripped over my dog while we were coming in. (He has a tendency to run in front of people and stop.) He and I have both been feeling guilty. Well, he kind of got over the guilt, but I’m still feeling guilty.
Willow had to go to the vet yesterday for a medical procedure and she’s been whimpering all day today. Anytime my mom leaves her, she’s whinier than she used to be. She seems to be afraid that if mom goes somewhere she might forget about her.