I decided in a feat of brillians to rant about a comment from my site on some message boards. Most of the boards had understanding people. One didn’t. On that board, I was attacked for my graphics, my coding, my weight, and my mental illness. I got riled up on there, and there was a lot of posting on my part, I’ll admit. But when I get angry online, I tend to get angry offline. I started having trouble breathing as I was telling my mom about some girl’s ignorant comment about mental illness. It didn’t occur to me until we got inside that my asthma was acting up. Not only were these comments agitating me mentally, they were upsetting my body physically.
Now, I know I’m not brilliant at graphics, but I’m not trying to be the best. I just make graphics that I like and I choose to share them.
As for coding, I don’t use Internet Explorer that often, so the fact that my sidebar is misplaced in IE doesn’t really mean much to me. I think the content of my blog is more important than the sidebar.
As for my weight, in the last 3 (almost 4) years, I’ve lost about 150 pounds. That seems like a big accomplishment. Going from 341.3 pounds to my current weight is a big deal. And making fun of my weight is just shallow. I don’t care that these girls apparently also have weight problems. I don’t think it’s right to mock people because they don’t fit the perfect mold.
And mental health? I should be ashamed of my problems and hide them from anyone reading my blog, according to one person. No one should be ashamed of having a mental illness. If you have one and you blog, don’t be afraid to talk about it. It’s a disease like heart disease and diabetes. People don’t have to hide those, so why hide their mental illness? Don’t hide behind that stupid belief that some people have about mental illness being shameful. And when someone says that you talk about your problems for sympathy, remind them and yourself that you don’t do it for sympathy. You do it for you. Talking about your problems is one of the best ways to confront them and deal with them, even if it is in a blog post.
I have a bone to pick about self-mutilation. Now, I do self-mutilate (wrist-banging & clawing at my skin), but I don’t do it all the time. There is a belief that if you self-injure, you do it for attention. I don’t. Most of the self-injurers I’ve talked to don’t do it for attention either. If I wanted attention for it, I’d try to get attention rather than trying to hide it. When you’ve done it as long as I have, you learn how to not get attention for it.
Now, why am I up at 8:23 in the morning? I woke up at about 6:30 wondering why my alarm hadn’t gone off. It goes off at 7, then I sleep in until 9:50. Well, when I woke up, I didn’t just halfway wake up, I woke up completely. So I decided it was pointless to stay in bed for a few more hours awake. Instead, I’m up posting on here and Celestial.
I password protected the last entry. If you’d like to read it, feel free to ask for the password.